Lies your parents told you as a child.

[Decipher]

Hey guys, I was just wondering what kind of lies your parents told you while you were growing up as a child? Obviously the "Santa Claus" and "Tooth Fairy" ones haha but any funny or outrageous ones out there? lol

They used to tell me if I ate the little seeds in fruits (watermelon etc) I would grow a big gigantic tree in my stomach and I would have to walk around my whole life with branches sticking out of my body lol XD
(I was about 5 or 6)

 

[Rorasa]

haha that's cute
my mom used to tell me babies are brought here from heaven through an airplane -___- i was like 4

 

[villain55]

Hey Dafaq you talking about Santa clause is real

 

[Alleiram]

I had to wait like an hour after eating to swim
Screw that, I jumped in after taking a bite lol i wasn't told many lies as a child but i found out it doesn't matter as I got older

 

[Shiina..]

My mom: "Mermaids exist." <-- Big fat ass lie! >.>

Don't remember much.. She never really told me a lie. :/
Most of the things.. Were true when I discovered it myself. ( '-')

My father: "Come out the bathroom, I won't harm you." <-- Biggest lie ever.

Every damn time, .. Aka; Child abuse. :|
Luckily this not happening anymore since he sees me as an full grown woman now. :|

 

[saaaaaadpanda]

My dad told me his farts were barking spiders...

 

[Decipher]

haha that's cute
my mom used to tell me babies are brought here from heaven through an airplane -___- i was like 4

Lol haha that reminded me of that one commercial haha

Hey Dafaq you talking about Santa clause is real

Sorry to be the one to break it to you bud.

I had to wait like an hour after eating to swim
Screw that, I jumped in after taking a bite lol i wasn't told many lies as a child but i found out it doesn't matter as I got older

Lol yeah but lieing makes everything that much interesting haha

My mom: "Mermaids exist." <-- Big fat ass lie! >.>

Don't remember much.. She never really told me a lie. :/
Most of the things.. Were true when I discovered it myself. ( '-')

My father: "Come out the bathroom, I won't harm you." <-- Biggest lie ever.

Every damn time, .. Aka; Child abuse.
Luckily this not happening anymore since he sees me as an full grown woman now.

What if mermaids actually did exist o_o

 

[YokoKurama]

<div class="bbWrapper">Hmmm, that was interesting. The only thing I can think of was when my Dad told me he injured his hip when he was in Desert Storm. He said he was jumped by a couple of Saudi men. I grew up thinking my Dad is so awesome taking on those guys. Then I go to live with him at 16 and find out from my stepmother that a port a potty fell off the truck and buried him in the sand. My dreams were instantly dashed. But I still love him anyways.</div>

 

[kmrasengan]

We love you, or you're our son. F*cking liars.

 

[P3ĮÑ]

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[Shinobi Train]

My parents didn't tell me any lies. None whatsoever. My dad even went and found the truth, wrote a book about it, and taught hundreds of thousands of people indirectly about all the lies that are out there. He even went and found out what Christmas is (it's a fertility festival dating back to Babylon, it also happens to be celebrating the birth of Satan...not the savior, just so you know. ^_^)

Things like Easter, which is also another fertility festival (that's all pagans care about it seems), only this one is more for mother earth (which is also Satan, FYI). The cross is actually representing the sun deity, the Romans never, ever, used a cross for execution, it's a bad design on top of everything else. The cross is in worship of the sun, don't be confused by parlor tricks.

So yeah. I knew the truth from day one. ^_^

My dad told me his farts were barking spiders...

No shit... My dad's always talked about the barking spiders. Of course I knew it was a joke, and he knew I knew it was a joke, but I've always wondered where he got that. It must be something from the older generation.

 

[Ciao]

I've always been a skeptical human being. I barely remember believing in anything supernatural. I have a vague memory of when I was a kid and I thought I heard Santa on the roof, but that was so long ago.

 

[Young Thug]

George Washington's teeth being "fake".

 

[Yasuko Sayomi]

"Talking to strangers on the internet is a bad idea."

 

[Crow Zero]

I never asked anything so they dont lies.

 

[Stencil]

I can't really think of any, but I know they told a few
I remember them telling me broccoli were dinosaur trees, just so I'd eat them =D

 

[l Forgotten l]

My mom never did. She straight told that santa wasnt real and she bought my christmas present from wal-mart so i went to school, itching to tell all the believers XD

 

[Namar]

My parents always told me that i will never see a Pervy Panda... Now look at this .... I'm sad

 

[Donald J Trump]

My dad told me he was going to get a packet of cigarettes at the gas station and come back...