Legend of the Lightning Sage - Prologue

~Uzumaki~

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200 Years before creation of the Village of Konoha, the world was still war torn, clans competed against each other, the skills of the most powerful ninjas went to the highest bidder. The gruesome bloodshed, the suffering and strife were the norm. One's place in the world was defined by their own power. In this blood soaked era, a certain clan existed, the very mention of their name crushed whatever hope their adversaries had of victory. This was the Senju clan, their power was the greatest therefore their place on top of the world was undisputed. Their leader at the time was a man whose level of skill was truly fitting of the Senju clan. As the name Senju(meaning a thousand hands) implies, the members of the clan were skilled in the various forms of combat. This man was no exception and on top of his vast knowledge of battle arts, he had an unbelievable mastery of the rare art of senjutsu. Senjutsu requires extremely high levels of chakra and this man had so much he was compared to the Tailed Beasts. To enter Sage Mode he gathered so much sage chakra from the atmosphere that the clouds in the heavens could be seen coming down to surround him, he gathered so much from the surrounding terrain that the earth shook. His name is respected in Mount Myoboku as the most powerful Sage to ever live. He had conquered the most powerful ninjas of his time and battle against him even with large numbers was considered suicide. He was undefeatable.
One day, he was practising his senjutsu at the highest peak in Mount Myoboku when it began to rain. As the sky thundered and the winds were boisterous, a bolt of lightning struck him and he disappeared without a trace. What was the fate of he who was known as the king of battle?
 
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SasukeEMS28

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Really nice story man but the end doesn't fit with the whole story in my opinion.
And why is he called Lightning Sage if he was an Toad Sage ? Because of the Lightning , which let him disappear ? If yes , oh come on you can do it better :D

But really nice work,I enjoyed reading it keep it up bro :scorps:
 

~Uzumaki~

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Really nice story man but the end doesn't fit with the whole story in my opinion.
And why is he called Lightning Sage if he was an Toad Sage ? Because of the Lightning , which let him disappear ? If yes , oh come on you can do it better :D

But really nice work,I enjoyed reading it keep it up bro :scorps:
Just wait my man. You'll see exactly why he was called the lightning sage as the story goes on.
 

Gutsy

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Alright one thing it happened 200 years before Konoha.. so it couldn't be Hashirama.

Also now i want to tell you about your fanfiction:

1. It was an okay prologue telling about where in history we are, but could use more detail.

The prologue and how it looked to the naked eye was plane horrible, you should use maybe some color and maybe a picture, some fond and size and more to make it look more interesting.

---------------

If i should rate this... It would probably be a 3/10 You need a lot of pratice and try to read a lot of fan fictions get inspiration and try to make it more appealing
 

Kuroi Honoo

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First and foremost I congratulate thee for taking a leap and creating your own fanfiction! ^.^ I really liked it and this is isn't coming from me just because you're a fan of mine but the truth ;) I haven't read one on Hashirama/Senju clan thus it was an epic read for just being a prologue. I don't know why more people haven't read this as it is awesome. For such a prologue I'm expecting the upcoming chapters (however long it is) to be something phenomenal ;)
 
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Seffy

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Well I would like to say that you should insert some space to break up that big chunk into smaller paragraphs. Also the first sentence could be broken into two, sounds more like a run-on to me. U_U

I'm not sure if I care too much for how much power you give a person, it just seems a bit much to me. I like how you left the last part with mystery though.

Either way, keep working at it and you will get better. ^_^
 
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