Konoha's Angel And Flower (Chapter 1, Part 2)

Supermacaquecool

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Wow! Well, you are good at intrigue.
Now I'm more curious than before.
You're also skillful at capturing character's personality, either yours or Kishi's.
I'm looking forward for your next post (And I hope you won't troll us as kishi does..IoI I'm just joking).
Just an advice for this one, if you don't mind: While writing complex sentences, first write every idea or action in a simple one and then join them with commas and semicolons, conjuctions or whatever you need. I say this cause Idk if it was due English it's not my native language but I had a little of trouble reading long sentences.
At the end I understood all, but well, it's just an advice, I may be wrong.
 

xlilyx

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Wow! Well, you are good at intrigue.
Now I'm more curious than before.
You're also skillful at capturing character's personality, either yours or Kishi's.
I'm looking forward for your next post (And I hope you won't troll us as kishi does..IoI I'm just joking).
Just an advice for this one, if you don't mind: While writing complex sentences, first write every idea or action in a simple one and then join them with commas and semicolons, conjuctions or whatever you need. I say this cause Idk if it was due English it's not my native language but I had a little of trouble reading long sentences.
At the end I understood all, but well, it's just an advice, I may be wrong.
Arigatou! :D I'm really happy you liked it! Haha I'm promise you I won't troll you... maybe... :p Thanks very much again! ^_^
Ah advice, thank you! This I'll improve on, I swear! So I need to cut my sentences down? Some of them do go on for a couple of lines, I agree. Thank you very much, I'll do my best! :hug:
 
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