Warning Explicit
Konoha Gangsters
Chapter 4, Reunion
The Escape
(Itachi fires another fireball and another. The T-Rex just keeps on coming.)
Naruto: You know, if it didn’t work the first time, why would it work now?
Itachi: Shut up!
Naruto: I’m just saying.
Shino: Sakura, there should be three explosive tags in the glove compartment.
Naruto: Itachi, Why don’t you just tell it that you don’t believe in ghosts?
Itachi: Shut the f*ck up.
(A half a mile away Two Uchiha cops are filming one another for a TV show called, “Konoha Cops.” Stand out side there patrol car, Cop 2 is filming and interviewing Cop 1)
Cop 1: My life is always on the line, everyday. That’s why I always ask questions later. You never know what will happen.
Cop 2: Tell the viewers the story. Why did you become an Uchiha Cop?
Cop 1: My Dad was a cop, my mom was a cop, and my sister is a cop My pet was a cop. My family are cops, it’s an Uchiha thing.
Cop 2: Should I keep on filming?
Cop 1: Yeah we can’t send it in like this, we have to add some action.
Cop 2: That would be good idea.
Cop 1: Wait. Do you hear something? Hurry, get the cam ready
Cop 2: Ready.
Cop 1&2: OMG!
(The El Camino passes by as the T-Rex follows)
Cop 2: Should we do something.
Cop 1: I don’t feel like getting involved right now. I really want to, but I have to think about your safety and my kids. I don’t my kids to grow up without a father, like my father. Plus are agenda is to tag and give parking tickets. I’m not going to risk my neck.
Cop 2: You’re so considerate.
Cop 1: Thanks, all apart of what I do. You Know lets finish the video at that new donut place on Twelfth Avenue.
Cop 2: Awesome, I got the munchies
Cop 1: The Munchies??
Cop 2: I mean munchies from all this hard work we bin doing.
Cop 1: Oh ok, let’s go. You really didn’t have to treat me, but thanks.
Cop 2: Huh?
(Back at the chase, Sakura has the tags set on kunais. She sits on the door and throws one of them. She misses and it hits a park car.)
Naruto: Jesus! Want to tell everyone before you start throwing explosive tags?
Itachi: Give me those
(The T-Rex roars its final chilling roar. Itachi throws the tag in his mouth. The head explodes like a tomato in the microwave - all of the pieces of the T-Rex fall and Itachi, Naruto, and Shino who are in the back, get covered in blood.)
Naruto: God Damn It!
Shino: Nice
Sakura shouts: Yeah!
Itachi: it’s not over.
Naruto: Huh?
Itachi: Shino…
Shino: They are still behind us, but we’re lucky. No Byakugan in either of the cars.
Naruto: Am I missing something?
Shino: When you pulled down your pants and show them your as*. I had eight Mosquitoes land on the window. Four came back alive. I should let Sai know.
Naruto: You didn’t use your MS, you are useless Itachi.
Itachi, you know what. Shut up, stop talking to me!
Naruto: I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to my invisible friend. You’re the stupid one interrupting are conversation.
Itachi: Next time why don’t you throw yourself out and take one for the team.
(Sai and the gang drive to a park and stop in the middle of the field. Turn off the engine and lights.)
Sai: We should be good for now, in the morning we have to get these guys clean, we can do all of this at Shikamaru’s house.
Sakura: Shikamaru, he’s cool with you guys, right?
Sai: Yeah, we go back a long way, what could happen.
Meeting Shikamaru
(Its early morning and they all slept in the car for 6 hours. Naruto Itachi and Shino are waiting in the car for good reason. Sakura and Sai knock on Shikamaru’s door. Shikamaru’s mom answers the door)
Shikamaru’s Mom opens the door: I’m not interested in what you’re selling, don’t come back.
Sakura: Hi, I don’t know if you remember us, we’re Shikamaru’s friends.
(Shikamaru’s Mom has curlers still in her hair and looks like shit)
Shikamaru’s Mom at the top of her lungs: Shikamaru! A bunch of your F*ck’n friends are at the door!
(She leaves the door open and doesn’t see the skateboard amongst all the trash on the floor. She flips from stepping on the skateboard. Sakura and Sai quickly try to help her up but she refuses.)
Shikamaru’s Mom: What did I tell you leaving your shit all over the ground! You two, close the door before the mysqutos come in. (she walks away to another room)
Shikamaru comes walking down the steps: What the F*ck do you want.
Sai: Uh, hey buddy.
Sakura: Hey, it’s long time.
Shikamaru: get the f*ck out of my house!
……………………………………………………………………..
Shikamaru: Just playing, come over here. (Hugs Sai and Sakura)
Shikamaru: You should have seen your faces, so whats up? Sakura, you look good. Sorry, sorry, didn’t know you both we’re still a couple.
Sakura: Not anymore
Shikamaru: That’s sucks. So you guys hungry?
Sai: Its not why where here, we need you help and a favor.
Shikamaru: My Mom’s meatloaf is killer, you want some Sakura? You, Sai?..........MOM!, HEY MMA! The Meatloaf, We want it now!. God, I never know what she’s doing back there…. Hey where’s Shino, don’t tell him but my mom sprayed the house yesterday. Dude, I felt so hungry after words. Hahaha.
Sai: Actually Shino is in the car, along with a bunch of other friends.
Shikamaru: Bring them in they can have some too… MOM! The Meatloaf! F*ck!
Sakura: That’s ok, we already ate, we don’t want to trouble your mom.
Shikamaru: Nonsense….. MOM! Today would be nice!
(Temari comes walking down the stairs in a black XXL T-shirt. Shikamaru gives her a kiss.)
Shikamaru: hey babe, you alright?
Temarri: Yeah, thanks so much…(notices Sai and Sakura, and gives them Hugs)
Terrarri: Thank you Sai for what you did. (She walks back up the stairs)
Sai: Huh? What’s going on?
Shikamaru: Just living a dream man. I hooked up with her yesterday. Her dad just passed away and she needed comfort.
Sakura: Oh so sad, what did the dad do?
Shikamaru: He was the owner of this place called the Blue Lagoon.
Sakura & Sai: What?
Shikamaru: Some strip club between Second and first. But Man, she is awesome.. Sorry Sakura, I forgot there’s a lady here.
Sakura: No, don’t worry…?
Sai: You know, it mite be best if come outside.
Shikamaru: It’s f*ck’n freezing, just bring your friends in here, my mom won’t give a shit.
Sakura looks at Sai: He said so.
(Sai calls the others. As soon as Naruto and Itachi walk in)
Shikamaru: Wait, wait ,wait. Not these two.
Naruto: Shikamaru where’s your bathroom?
Shikamaru: You f*ckers have to leave now.
Sai: You said it would be alright.
Shikamaru: Yeah, but I didn’t think it would be these two, and they are covered in blood!! What the f*ck happened? No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know……Sai, you know you brought a wanted criminal in my house? Is there a sign on the front of my house that says, “Criminal Storage?”
Sai: No, it does not.
Shikamaru: You want to know why? Because Criminal storage isn’t my F*cking business. That is why.
Itachi: Listen you Motherf*cker, I bin through a lot of shit yesterday, if you don’t help us, I’ll show the world your house is a storage facility for wanted criminals! You understand! I’m sorry, but you gave me no option. So what will it be?
(Shikamaru’s Mom walks in with a pan of meatloaf, Shikamaru stops her immediately.)
Itachi, Hi Miss Shikamaru’s Mom!
Naruto: Hey beautiful.
Shikamaru’s Mom: Shikamaru get out of my face, I want to meet your friends. Who are they?
Shikamaru: No Mom, I have a lot to discuss. Thanks for the meatloaf, thank you, now go back to whatever it was. Ok, love you!
Shikamaru’s Mom: F*ck You, As*hole!
Shikamaru: Is that anyway to talk to your loving son? (she walks away)
Shikamaru: Alright, fine.
Naruto: I want Meatloaf
Shikamaru: f*ck off, You all can F*ck off.
Sai: sorry man
Shikamaru: This is all your fault
Sai: Could be worse.
Town of Kusa
(Sai and the gang tell Shikamaru everything that has happened, Shikamaru’s Mom went out shopping.)
Shikamaru: You’ll need help passing Kusa first.
Itachi: We should go around.
Shikamaru: You guys should get cleaned up first. Outside!
(They go out to the backyard. Sakura is told to stay in the house. Men stuff. Shikamaru has the water-hose in hand, Sai is hold towels.)
Shikamaru: Ok, strip.
(Naruto, Itachi & Shino strip, the cloths are put in a garbage bag.)
Shikamaru throws three bars of soap, and fires the hose. “Use the soap, you guys smell like shit – and if I was you, I’d hurry up unless you want my Mom to see you.”
(Naruto, Itachi & Shino Dry off and put on Shikamaru’s cloths. Three Pink T-shirts that say, “I love World of Warcraft.”)
Naruto: This is all you have?
Shikamaru: I’ll give you whatever I want, and you’ll wear it…….. Oh, and STFU.
Naruto to Sai: Why do we need his help again?
Sai: Just go with it, you look fine. There’s food inside………..
Shikamaru: Like I was saying. We have to take Kusa.
Itachi: No, there are drugs and too much people in Kusa.
Shikamaru: look at your options. I know how you can get to the border of Earth in one day. You want to take the two day way going al the way around. Kisame’s Thugs are looking for Shino. The SB are retards, but they’ll catch on to where you guys are. Trace you to my house you basters. We have to go soon.
Sai: He’s right. We have to go through Kusa. We also have to ditch the El Camino.
Shikamaru: My mom’s van, as soon as she comes back.
Sai: It’s settled. To Kusa.
(Itachi Shakes his head, Naruto and Shino pig out over the meatloaf, And Sai is taking a shower upstairs.)
Naruto: Your Mom makes a good meatloaf.
Shikamaru: I hope you choke.
Sakura: Meatloaf, the backbone of any nutritious breakfast.
End
Coming up Next; Kisame’s thugs track down Sai and Co.
Inspired by (wedding crashers & more pulp fiction) and like always, the relationship between Shino and Sai. Peace.
Konoha Gangsters
Chapter 4, Reunion
The Escape
(Itachi fires another fireball and another. The T-Rex just keeps on coming.)
Naruto: You know, if it didn’t work the first time, why would it work now?
Itachi: Shut up!
Naruto: I’m just saying.
Shino: Sakura, there should be three explosive tags in the glove compartment.
Naruto: Itachi, Why don’t you just tell it that you don’t believe in ghosts?
Itachi: Shut the f*ck up.
(A half a mile away Two Uchiha cops are filming one another for a TV show called, “Konoha Cops.” Stand out side there patrol car, Cop 2 is filming and interviewing Cop 1)
Cop 1: My life is always on the line, everyday. That’s why I always ask questions later. You never know what will happen.
Cop 2: Tell the viewers the story. Why did you become an Uchiha Cop?
Cop 1: My Dad was a cop, my mom was a cop, and my sister is a cop My pet was a cop. My family are cops, it’s an Uchiha thing.
Cop 2: Should I keep on filming?
Cop 1: Yeah we can’t send it in like this, we have to add some action.
Cop 2: That would be good idea.
Cop 1: Wait. Do you hear something? Hurry, get the cam ready
Cop 2: Ready.
Cop 1&2: OMG!
(The El Camino passes by as the T-Rex follows)
Cop 2: Should we do something.
Cop 1: I don’t feel like getting involved right now. I really want to, but I have to think about your safety and my kids. I don’t my kids to grow up without a father, like my father. Plus are agenda is to tag and give parking tickets. I’m not going to risk my neck.
Cop 2: You’re so considerate.
Cop 1: Thanks, all apart of what I do. You Know lets finish the video at that new donut place on Twelfth Avenue.
Cop 2: Awesome, I got the munchies
Cop 1: The Munchies??
Cop 2: I mean munchies from all this hard work we bin doing.
Cop 1: Oh ok, let’s go. You really didn’t have to treat me, but thanks.
Cop 2: Huh?
(Back at the chase, Sakura has the tags set on kunais. She sits on the door and throws one of them. She misses and it hits a park car.)
Naruto: Jesus! Want to tell everyone before you start throwing explosive tags?
Itachi: Give me those
(The T-Rex roars its final chilling roar. Itachi throws the tag in his mouth. The head explodes like a tomato in the microwave - all of the pieces of the T-Rex fall and Itachi, Naruto, and Shino who are in the back, get covered in blood.)
Naruto: God Damn It!
Shino: Nice
Sakura shouts: Yeah!
Itachi: it’s not over.
Naruto: Huh?
Itachi: Shino…
Shino: They are still behind us, but we’re lucky. No Byakugan in either of the cars.
Naruto: Am I missing something?
Shino: When you pulled down your pants and show them your as*. I had eight Mosquitoes land on the window. Four came back alive. I should let Sai know.
Naruto: You didn’t use your MS, you are useless Itachi.
Itachi, you know what. Shut up, stop talking to me!
Naruto: I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to my invisible friend. You’re the stupid one interrupting are conversation.
Itachi: Next time why don’t you throw yourself out and take one for the team.
(Sai and the gang drive to a park and stop in the middle of the field. Turn off the engine and lights.)
Sai: We should be good for now, in the morning we have to get these guys clean, we can do all of this at Shikamaru’s house.
Sakura: Shikamaru, he’s cool with you guys, right?
Sai: Yeah, we go back a long way, what could happen.
Meeting Shikamaru
(Its early morning and they all slept in the car for 6 hours. Naruto Itachi and Shino are waiting in the car for good reason. Sakura and Sai knock on Shikamaru’s door. Shikamaru’s mom answers the door)
Shikamaru’s Mom opens the door: I’m not interested in what you’re selling, don’t come back.
Sakura: Hi, I don’t know if you remember us, we’re Shikamaru’s friends.
(Shikamaru’s Mom has curlers still in her hair and looks like shit)
Shikamaru’s Mom at the top of her lungs: Shikamaru! A bunch of your F*ck’n friends are at the door!
(She leaves the door open and doesn’t see the skateboard amongst all the trash on the floor. She flips from stepping on the skateboard. Sakura and Sai quickly try to help her up but she refuses.)
Shikamaru’s Mom: What did I tell you leaving your shit all over the ground! You two, close the door before the mysqutos come in. (she walks away to another room)
Shikamaru comes walking down the steps: What the F*ck do you want.
Sai: Uh, hey buddy.
Sakura: Hey, it’s long time.
Shikamaru: get the f*ck out of my house!
……………………………………………………………………..
Shikamaru: Just playing, come over here. (Hugs Sai and Sakura)
Shikamaru: You should have seen your faces, so whats up? Sakura, you look good. Sorry, sorry, didn’t know you both we’re still a couple.
Sakura: Not anymore
Shikamaru: That’s sucks. So you guys hungry?
Sai: Its not why where here, we need you help and a favor.
Shikamaru: My Mom’s meatloaf is killer, you want some Sakura? You, Sai?..........MOM!, HEY MMA! The Meatloaf, We want it now!. God, I never know what she’s doing back there…. Hey where’s Shino, don’t tell him but my mom sprayed the house yesterday. Dude, I felt so hungry after words. Hahaha.
Sai: Actually Shino is in the car, along with a bunch of other friends.
Shikamaru: Bring them in they can have some too… MOM! The Meatloaf! F*ck!
Sakura: That’s ok, we already ate, we don’t want to trouble your mom.
Shikamaru: Nonsense….. MOM! Today would be nice!
(Temari comes walking down the stairs in a black XXL T-shirt. Shikamaru gives her a kiss.)
Shikamaru: hey babe, you alright?
Temarri: Yeah, thanks so much…(notices Sai and Sakura, and gives them Hugs)
Terrarri: Thank you Sai for what you did. (She walks back up the stairs)
Sai: Huh? What’s going on?
Shikamaru: Just living a dream man. I hooked up with her yesterday. Her dad just passed away and she needed comfort.
Sakura: Oh so sad, what did the dad do?
Shikamaru: He was the owner of this place called the Blue Lagoon.
Sakura & Sai: What?
Shikamaru: Some strip club between Second and first. But Man, she is awesome.. Sorry Sakura, I forgot there’s a lady here.
Sakura: No, don’t worry…?
Sai: You know, it mite be best if come outside.
Shikamaru: It’s f*ck’n freezing, just bring your friends in here, my mom won’t give a shit.
Sakura looks at Sai: He said so.
(Sai calls the others. As soon as Naruto and Itachi walk in)
Shikamaru: Wait, wait ,wait. Not these two.
Naruto: Shikamaru where’s your bathroom?
Shikamaru: You f*ckers have to leave now.
Sai: You said it would be alright.
Shikamaru: Yeah, but I didn’t think it would be these two, and they are covered in blood!! What the f*ck happened? No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know……Sai, you know you brought a wanted criminal in my house? Is there a sign on the front of my house that says, “Criminal Storage?”
Sai: No, it does not.
Shikamaru: You want to know why? Because Criminal storage isn’t my F*cking business. That is why.
Itachi: Listen you Motherf*cker, I bin through a lot of shit yesterday, if you don’t help us, I’ll show the world your house is a storage facility for wanted criminals! You understand! I’m sorry, but you gave me no option. So what will it be?
(Shikamaru’s Mom walks in with a pan of meatloaf, Shikamaru stops her immediately.)
Itachi, Hi Miss Shikamaru’s Mom!
Naruto: Hey beautiful.
Shikamaru’s Mom: Shikamaru get out of my face, I want to meet your friends. Who are they?
Shikamaru: No Mom, I have a lot to discuss. Thanks for the meatloaf, thank you, now go back to whatever it was. Ok, love you!
Shikamaru’s Mom: F*ck You, As*hole!
Shikamaru: Is that anyway to talk to your loving son? (she walks away)
Shikamaru: Alright, fine.
Naruto: I want Meatloaf
Shikamaru: f*ck off, You all can F*ck off.
Sai: sorry man
Shikamaru: This is all your fault
Sai: Could be worse.
Town of Kusa
(Sai and the gang tell Shikamaru everything that has happened, Shikamaru’s Mom went out shopping.)
Shikamaru: You’ll need help passing Kusa first.
Itachi: We should go around.
Shikamaru: You guys should get cleaned up first. Outside!
(They go out to the backyard. Sakura is told to stay in the house. Men stuff. Shikamaru has the water-hose in hand, Sai is hold towels.)
Shikamaru: Ok, strip.
(Naruto, Itachi & Shino strip, the cloths are put in a garbage bag.)
Shikamaru throws three bars of soap, and fires the hose. “Use the soap, you guys smell like shit – and if I was you, I’d hurry up unless you want my Mom to see you.”
(Naruto, Itachi & Shino Dry off and put on Shikamaru’s cloths. Three Pink T-shirts that say, “I love World of Warcraft.”)
Naruto: This is all you have?
Shikamaru: I’ll give you whatever I want, and you’ll wear it…….. Oh, and STFU.
Naruto to Sai: Why do we need his help again?
Sai: Just go with it, you look fine. There’s food inside………..
Shikamaru: Like I was saying. We have to take Kusa.
Itachi: No, there are drugs and too much people in Kusa.
Shikamaru: look at your options. I know how you can get to the border of Earth in one day. You want to take the two day way going al the way around. Kisame’s Thugs are looking for Shino. The SB are retards, but they’ll catch on to where you guys are. Trace you to my house you basters. We have to go soon.
Sai: He’s right. We have to go through Kusa. We also have to ditch the El Camino.
Shikamaru: My mom’s van, as soon as she comes back.
Sai: It’s settled. To Kusa.
(Itachi Shakes his head, Naruto and Shino pig out over the meatloaf, And Sai is taking a shower upstairs.)
Naruto: Your Mom makes a good meatloaf.
Shikamaru: I hope you choke.
Sakura: Meatloaf, the backbone of any nutritious breakfast.
End
Coming up Next; Kisame’s thugs track down Sai and Co.
Inspired by (wedding crashers & more pulp fiction) and like always, the relationship between Shino and Sai. Peace.
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