Kiss of a silent angel

did you enjoy my poem


  • Total voters
    5
  • Poll closed .

Yuka

Active member
Elite
Joined
Aug 29, 2011
Messages
6,485
Kin
451💸
Kumi
33💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Awards

this is a poem i wrote a long time ago,

Wisdom is what all people Possess sometimes it makes them proud to be a person of such great importance they believe in themselves to be better accomplishers to help people out when they are in trouble


whisper of a soft angel's voice hear it feel the wings of its soft feathers lightly glide across your delicate skin knowing that its there


in god we trust love and peace with open arms i reach to thee the soft kiss of an angel's lips hold me close spread your wings and fly me to the sky to show me the truth that lies beyond the clouds where angels soar from left to right during a midsummer's night


don't be afraid take my hand and walk with me through the gates of heaven light will surround thee with great comfortable and tranquility
 

Yerrina

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
450
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
I'm not sure to what degree can it be considered a poem because even the free verse poetry tend to have shorter sentences, but you can make up for it in one way I find lacking in many poems, punctuation. It does certainly help in clarifying the message you want to deliver, for example in :

whisper of a soft angel's voice hear it feel the wings of its soft feather

Can be said as " Whisper of a soft angel's voice, hear it, feel the wings of its soft feathers"

And the first stanza somehow does not match the content of the rest of the poem, where I saw the prescene of religious (possibly Christian imagery) , and you should capitalize God if you mean Him in a positive sense.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Seffy

Yuka

Active member
Elite
Joined
Aug 29, 2011
Messages
6,485
Kin
451💸
Kumi
33💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Awards
I'm not sure to what degree can it be considered a poem because even the free verse poetry tend to have shorter sentences, but you can make up for it in one way I find lacking in many poems, punctuation. It does certainly help in clarifying the message you want to deliver, for example in :

whisper of a soft angel's voice hear it feel the wings of its soft feather

Can be said as " Whisper of a soft angel's voice, hear it, feel the wings of its soft feathers"

And the first stanza somehow does not match the content of the rest of the poem, where I saw the prescene of religious (possibly Christian imagery) , and you should capitalize God if you mean Him in a positive sense.

the poem was written when i was a teenager, and it came from my imagination, therefore there is nothing religious about it ,
 
Top