Is this selfish?

Donald J Trump

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Areeeee you dumb? **** that little ***** boy. I'm would not give him or my mum (your mum in this case) a penny.

It's become a habit that has taken over which is messing up everyone around him, now that is selfish. I would expose his dumbass for smoking too much or suggest to his parents that they get him help.

It becomes an addiction when it takes over and stops you from doing other things.

Life is hard as it is. It's cool he can do him but don't ask me or my mum for money!
 

Yubel

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Ofcourse its not selfish..I mean 18 year of age is consider for being a adult and a adult should take responsibility of elders on his shoulder but at the very least he should take responsibility of his own livelihood...If your mom and aunt just keep him feeding then he never gonna be a adult in true sense and I don't think that its just gonna stop at weeds if you don't do anything and just lend him money like this he can be spoiled........by the way sorry if it sounds rude
18 is considered "adult" because some obscure law in that country decided it is. In reality, we're not really adults untill we're 25 years old. That's when the brain fully develops.
 

Marin

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He shouldnt even be smoking weed in the first place let alone waste so much money on it. The hell are his parents doing? Your family is ****ed up.
 

Deadlift

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I have a cousin who spends all his money buying weed and he always asks my mom,my aunt,and his mom for money.They give him like maybe $5-50 and he blows it all on weed.They complain about how he waste his money but they still give him money. So one day he needed a phone card and my mom asked me if I could give him $10 to get him a phone card. I told her no because I felt he waste his money too much on weed and I'm not responsible to baby him and how he is 18 and he should be able to budget his money better. So she was like "But that's your cousin and he is going back to school." I was like "Okay?? I'm happy he is finishing school but I'm not seeing what that has to do with me giving him my hard earn money I get from actually working a job and budgeting."(Like my cousin can't even get a job because he doesn't want to stop smoking). So she goes on to saying how I need family and how it's selfish that I didn't want to give him money to get his phone card. I honestly didn't feel like this was selfish because he calls us almost everyday for money and wastes it on only weed and never saves it. Do you think it's selfish to not give family money even if they waste their money?

No. HE is selfish
 

Legendary Saiyan

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That's not selfish at all. He should know better than smoking weed. Maybe next time he'll think wisely on how to spend money.
 
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Pukkake Pokayo

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I have a cousin who spends all his money buying weed and he always asks my mom,my aunt,and his mom for money.They give him like maybe $5-50 and he blows it all on weed.They complain about how he waste his money but they still give him money. So one day he needed a phone card and my mom asked me if I could give him $10 to get him a phone card. I told her no because I felt he waste his money too much on weed and I'm not responsible to baby him and how he is 18 and he should be able to budget his money better. So she was like "But that's your cousin and he is going back to school." I was like "Okay?? I'm happy he is finishing school but I'm not seeing what that has to do with me giving him my hard earn money I get from actually working a job and budgeting."(Like my cousin can't even get a job because he doesn't want to stop smoking). So she goes on to saying how I need family and how it's selfish that I didn't want to give him money to get his phone card. I honestly didn't feel like this was selfish because he calls us almost everyday for money and wastes it on only weed and never saves it. Do you think it's selfish to not give family money even if they waste their money?

Jesus facking Christ. Hell no. He doesn't even need a phone for school.

It's like the worst investment ever. I'll pay for your phone card so you can ring me later to ask for more money.

Also. At this rate he definitely won't pay you back smoking that much weed. Just tell him to cut back and he can work and get stoned in his spare time, ffs.

Are you over exaggerating and he's actually spending most of the cash on rent etc? Does your family know what he spends it on? Sorry if this was asked already.

He sounds spoilt imo. Cut him off financially and he'll learn the difference between a need and a want.
 
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Jazzy Stardust

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It is selfish, people don't understand what selfish means. Is it wrong? No, I don't think so. It's your money, but it is selfish. Everyone is selfish, your mom is selfish to expect you to do as she does.

You could have actually gone out and bought him a phone card if you weren't selfish, you didn't have to give him money. But it's just as selfish for them to expect you to give allowance to a young adult.

If he was smart he would sell some of the weed, you don't have to be on the block. Just go to friends.
 

Angelic.

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Sounds like a loser. I wouldn't either
 

Sakura Michiko

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You blew it out of proportion. They weren't asking you to babysit him or laundry his clothes, just $10 he could use for a phone card.
It's your money of course and you can do whatever you want but would you like to be denied $10 by your own family?
You could've tested it once to see how it goes.
I don't ask my family for money. Why can't he learn how to budget instead of always asking for money? That's what I want him to do.
Areeeee you dumb? **** that little ***** boy. I'm would not give him or my mum (your mum in this case) a penny.

It's become a habit that has taken over which is messing up everyone around him, now that is selfish. I would expose his dumbass for smoking too much or suggest to his parents that they get him help.

It becomes an addiction when it takes over and stops you from doing other things.

Life is hard as it is. It's cool he can do him but don't ask me or my mum for money!
I help my mom pay the cable bill or help her with some of the other bills. I wouldn't deny that.
Jesus facking Christ. Hell no. He doesn't even need a phone for school.

It's like the worst investment ever. I'll pay for your phone card so you can ring me later to ask for more money.

Also. At this rate he definitely won't pay you back smoking that much weed. Just tell him to cut back and he can work and get stoned in his spare time, ffs.

Are you over exaggerating and he's actually spending most of the cash on rent etc? Does your family know what he spends it on? Sorry if this was asked already.

He sounds spoilt imo. Cut him off financially and he'll learn the difference between a need and a want.
I'm not exaggerating.They know he spends his money on weed. They fuss about it and don't even talk to him about how he should stop smoking weed and how he should save money. I'm the only one that talked to him about this.
It is selfish, people don't understand what selfish means. Is it wrong? No, I don't think so. It's your money, but it is selfish. Everyone is selfish, your mom is selfish to expect you to do as she does.

You could have actually gone out and bought him a phone card if you weren't selfish, you didn't have to give him money. But it's just as selfish for them to expect you to give allowance to a young adult.

If he was smart he would sell some of the weed, you don't have to be on the block. Just go to friends.
I just got my licence so no I couldn't and my car just got fixed but it's not my responsibility to give him a phone card if he can't budget his money and save $10. Now I would understand if he actually was budgeting money and was short on it and using it responsibly than I would have told him to come get the $10.
 

Yubel

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I don't ask my family for money. Why can't he learn how to budget instead of always asking for money? That's what I want him to do.

I help my mom pay the cable bill or help her with some of the other bills. I wouldn't deny that.

I'm not exaggerating.They know he spends his money on weed. They fuss about it and don't even talk to him about how he should stop smoking weed and how he should save money. I'm the only one that talked to him about this.

I just got my licence so no I couldn't and my car just got fixed but it's not my responsibility to give him a phone card if he can't budget his money and save $10. Now I would understand if he actually was budgeting money and was short on it and using it responsibly than I would have told him to come get the $10.
What's the harm of giving $10? I can't believe you're arguing this. Unless you've had beef with your cousin, it shouldn't be a problem.
 

Sakura Michiko

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What's the harm of giving $10? I can't believe you're arguing this. Unless you've had beef with your cousin, it shouldn't be a problem.

I don't know if you actually read my post but my cousin calls us for money almost everyday. I'm not giving money and he isn't budgeting. He sometimes get $50 from his mom or my aunt and he blows it in a day or two. I'm not giving him my money if he can't budget good.I don't have "beef". I want him to learn that he is an adult now and in this world people aren't just going to continuously give him money. He has to grow and learn how to handle that in a responsible manner. He can't even give a job because he fails his drug test which is another problem.
 
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Yubel

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I don't know if you actually read my post but my cousin calls us for money almost everyday. I'm not giving money and he isn't budgeting. He sometimes get $50 from his mom or my aunt and he blows it in a day or two. I'm not giving him my money if he can't budget good.I don't have "beef". I want him to learn that he is an adult now and in this world people aren't just going to continuously give him money. He has to grow and learn how to handle that in a responsible manner. He can't even give a job because he fails his drug test which is another problem.
It bothers you enough to make a thread asking if you're selfish. So why don't you tell him to get a job etc?
 

Claymantan

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It bothers you enough to make a thread asking if you're selfish. So I don't believe you.

If your parent called you selfish, it's reasonable to be perturbed. Why assume the OP is lying about her own experience in order to justify your argument?
 

Yubel

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If your parent called you selfish, it's reasonable to be perturbed. Why assume the OP is lying about her own experience in order to justify your argument?
If she actually cared she would talk to him personally. I don't know how close they are but again, she makes a thread asking if she is selfish. I don't know if this is the first time she's been asked for money but I felt her response to her mom she described in the OP was over the top considering we're talking about $10. I believe this is her way of getting "support" in justifying her decision so she doesn't feel guilty.
 

Sakura Michiko

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What's the harm of giving $10? I can't believe you're arguing this. Unless you've had beef with your cousin, it shouldn't be a problem.

Fine don't believe me. You only don't believe me because I'm not agreeing with you. I told him stop smoking weed and get a job. It seems like you want me to baby my cousin instead of let him grow. Like I stated before if he legit budgeted his money but fell short than I would help him but he isn't doing that and isn't trying to get a job. I stated he is going to school and that is one mature thing that I am happy about but I also want him to mature when it comes to saving money.What if something happens to my mom, my aunt,and him mom and he still doesn't save money? What if he doesn't know what to do because they are babying him in terms on money. He need to be responsible with stuff like that. It's not like he is 8 or something.If he was budgeting his money in a responsible way he probably wouldn't need $10 for a phone card.
 
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