Is this selfish?

[Sakura Michiko]

I have a cousin who spends all his money buying weed and he always asks my mom,my aunt,and his mom for money.They give him like maybe $5-50 and he blows it all on weed.They complain about how he waste his money but they still give him money. So one day he needed a phone card and my mom asked me if I could give him $10 to get him a phone card. I told her no because I felt he waste his money too much on weed and I'm not responsible to baby him and how he is 18 and he should be able to budget his money better. So she was like "But that's your cousin and he is going back to school." I was like "Okay?? I'm happy he is finishing school but I'm not seeing what that has to do with me giving him my hard earn money I get from actually working a job and budgeting."(Like my cousin can't even get a job because he doesn't want to stop smoking). So she goes on to saying how I need family and how it's selfish that I didn't want to give him money to get his phone card. I honestly didn't feel like this was selfish because he calls us almost everyday for money and wastes it on only weed and never saves it. Do you think it's selfish to not give family money even if they waste their money?

 

[Commander Axe]

No, it isn't. He needs to get his sh*t together.

 

[Cunning Linguist]

Why would it be? Your cousin blows his money on weed. He needs to learn a lesson and not have people bail him out when he has no cash.

 

[Insomniac Fueled Suicide]

I have a cousin who spends all his money buying weed and he always asks my mom,my aunt,and his mom for money.They give him like maybe $5-50 and he blows it all on weed.They complain about how he waste his money but they still give him money. So one day he needed a phone card and my mom asked me if I could give him $10 to get him a phone card. I told her no because I felt he waste his money too much on weed and I'm not responsible to baby him and how he is 18 and he should be able to budget his money better. So she was like "But that's your cousin and he is going back to school." I was like "Okay?? I'm happy he is finishing school but I'm not seeing what that has to do with me giving him my hard earn money I get from actually working a job and budgeting."(Like my cousin can't even get a job because he doesn't want to stop smoking). So she goes on to saying how I need family and how it's selfish that I didn't want to give him money to get his phone card. I honestly didn't feel like this was selfish because he calls us almost everyday for money and wastes it on only weed and never saves it. Do you think it's selfish to not give family money even if they waste their money?

Do you know what he is going through or what he spends his other money on? Or do you follow him around 24/7 so you know what he does all the time? And you call it hard earned money but did you earn it at all? No your mom, aunt, etc earned it so why are you withholding money that you have no power over you essentially stole the money from both your cousin and mom. Furthermore he is family right so it's only natural you don't want to see them homeless or worse. Did you even think about this or were you only worried about your parents and aunts "hard earned money". Everything you just said says I'm selfish and mad because I don't get their money as much.

 

[Chie]

I have a cousin who spends all his money buying weed and he always asks my mom,my aunt,and his mom for money.They give him like maybe $5-50 and he blows it all on weed.They complain about how he waste his money but they still give him money. So one day he needed a phone card and my mom asked me if I could give him $10 to get him a phone card. I told her no because I felt he waste his money too much on weed and I'm not responsible to baby him and how he is 18 and he should be able to budget his money better. So she was like "But that's your cousin and he is going back to school." I was like "Okay?? I'm happy he is finishing school but I'm not seeing what that has to do with me giving him my hard earn money I get from actually working a job and budgeting."(Like my cousin can't even get a job because he doesn't want to stop smoking). So she goes on to saying how I need family and how it's selfish that I didn't want to give him money to get his phone card. I honestly didn't feel like this was selfish because he calls us almost everyday for money and wastes it on only weed and never saves it. Do you think it's selfish to not give family money even if they waste their money?

It's not selfish since in all honesty he likely will blow it on some weed again.

Instead, if you want to help- you could just spend the $10 yourself and give him the phone card, make sure he puts the code into his phone and gets those minutes, so you can help him and the $$$ isn't wasted.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Do you know what he is going through or what he spends his other money on? Or do you follow him around 24/7 so you know what he does all the time? And you call it hard earned money but did you earn it at all? No your mom, aunt, etc earned it so why are you withholding money that you have no power over you essentially stole the money from both your cousin and mom. Furthermore he is family right so it's only natural you don't want to see them homeless or worse. Did you even think about this or were you only worried about your parents and aunts "hard earned money". Everything you just said says I'm selfish and mad because I don't get their money as much.

I work at lowes I earn all my money. I never see him with anything else but weed or him leaving with guys to buy it. They complain about him wasting it.I tell them stop giving him money and they don't listen. I don't ask my mom, his mom, or aunt for money.

 

[Claymantan]

Instead, if you want to help- you could just spend the $10 yourself and give him the phone card, make sure he puts the code into his phone and gets those minutes, so you can help him and the $$$ isn't wasted.

This is probably a good solution.

Probably not the most worthwhile fight to have your mom mad at you over $10 anyway.

You didn't really ask for help though. It's not really selfish, but I mean, 18 is still young enough to expect someone to act stupidly. I dunno.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

This is probably a good solution.

Probably not the most worthwhile fight to have your mom mad you over $10 anyway.

You didn't really ask for help though. It's not really selfish, but I mean, 18 is still young enough to expect someone to act stupidly. I dunno.

I guess. It's just a little annoying.Maybe because when I was 18 I budgeted all my money.I never liked the idea of being broke or depended on someone for money.

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

Do you know what he is going through or what he spends his other money on? Or do you follow him around 24/7 so you know what he does all the time? And you call it hard earned money but did you earn it at all? No your mom, aunt, etc earned it so why are you withholding money that you have no power over you essentially stole the money from both your cousin and mom. Furthermore he is family right so it's only natural you don't want to see them homeless or worse. Did you even think about this or were you only worried about your parents and aunts "hard earned money". Everything you just said says I'm selfish and mad because I don't get their money as much.

Nice way of painting her as evil because she doesn't want to give her money to someone who won't use it wisely.

OT: No, it's not selfish at all. If you think something like that is, everyone around you will manipulate you. Stand up for what you believe is right. Honestly, your cousin is lucky that your family has such low standards for him.

 

[Gerkak]

You did the right thing.

 

[Claymantan]

I guess. It's just a little annoying.Maybe because when I was 18 I budgeted all my money.I never liked the idea of being broke or depended on someone for money.

I understand. It's a different experience for everyone. I mean, really, they probably shouldn't go this easy on him, for his own good (regardless of what he's spending it on, family should be teaching kin how to budget xD). Just seems like a lot of unneeded stress. It's best to just let it go and avoid letting him lean on you directly for money. $10 is one thing, but when it starts getting into $50, $100 - like you said, you're working for your money, and you gotta take care of yourself.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Nice way of painting her as evil because she doesn't want to give her money to someone who won't use it wisely.

OT: No, it's not selfish at all. If you think something like that is, everyone around you will manipulate you. Stand up for what you believe is right. Honestly, your cousin is lucky that your family has such low standards for him.

Like they make me mad because I want him to learn to be independent. Like he gets mad when I say no to him for money but I tell him "You are 18 now.You are suppose to be a man. You are going to have to learn how to budget and get your own money. I can't baby you.". I tell my family that and it's like I'm talking to a wall.

 

[End of Days]

Not selfish but sensible

 

[Aominecchi]

No it's not, if he wants to blow money then let him do it with his own, you worked for those bucks, why have anyone else spend it...especially on stuff like weed or something that is not productive

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

Like they make me mad because I want him to learn to be independent. Like he gets mad when I say no to him for money but I tell him "You are 18 now.You are suppose to be a man. You are going to have to learn how to budget and get your own money. I can't baby you.". I tell my family that and it's like I'm talking to a wall.

I have a cousin like that but he's only 4. Most spoiled brat I've ever seen in my life. Cries and hits for hours until he gets what he wants. No respect, or even an understanding of anything. His parents let him go on the phone un-monitored and he watches things kids his age shouldn't be watching. I tell his parents to teach some discipline but they are like walls too. He's so cute but so evil. He's gonna turn up like your cousin, lmao!

 

[Claymantan]

I have a cousin like that but he's only 4. Most spoiled brat I've ever seen in my life. Cries and hits for hours until he gets what he wants. No respect, or even an understanding of anything. His parents let him go on the phone un-monitored and he watches things kids his age shouldn't be watching. I tell his parents to teach some discipline but they are like walls too. He's so cute but so evil. He's gonna turn up like your cousin, lmao!

Everyone grows up differently. I had a cousin who was like this when he was 4, and he would even do things like bite you and attack you and s***, but since he hit puberty he's been acting more mature, working out and being disciplined. So there's always hope. XD

 

[Reraru]

It isn't of course.

 

[Pumpkin Ninja]

Everyone grows up differently. I had a cousin who was like this when he was 4, and he would even do things like bite you and attack you and s***, but since he hit puberty he's been acting more mature, working out and being disciplined. So there's always hope. XD

Lol, I hope so. When I have kids (if I T_T), I'll make sure they don't even see tech until they're at least 10 xD.

 

[Insomniac Fueled Suicide]

Nice way of painting her as evil because she doesn't want to give her money to someone who won't use it wisely.

OT: No, it's not selfish at all. If you think something like that is, everyone around you will manipulate you. Stand up for what you believe is right. Honestly, your cousin is lucky that your family has such low standards for him.

Yeah I'm painting her as evil I'm simply saying that has she asked him what else he does with the money. Also if you only see someone for the bad or at their lowest moments you're only going to see them as bad. But whatevs anything I say makes it seem like I'm the bad guy or something stupid but all I'm saying give him a break sometime but yes he does need to get a job because budgeting those 10$ is all and also what can you buy with 10$ besides food and weed I mean cards where I live is minimum 25$.

 

[Insomniac Fueled Suicide]

I work at lowes I earn all my money. I never see him with anything else but weed or him leaving with guys to buy it. They complain about him wasting it.I tell them stop giving him money and they don't listen. I don't ask my mom, his mom, or aunt for money.

See my post to Pumpkin Ninja. I have no energy haven't eaten all day so forgive my laziness Zzz