Gatsndshanks
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Chapter I: A man of many mysteries ft. two clueless people
A new day arises and curtains are drawn to let the morning sunshine in. A teenage boy walks over to his computer and switches it on and picks up several tissues on his desk then throws them into the nearby dustbin.
Flaw: This random smell of fish is making me hungry =/ time for some breakfast me thinks.
He then begins to walk out of his room and into the hallway, continuing down the stairs but upon reaching the last step, he notices something on the welcome mat.
Flaw: Huh? A letter, I actually got a letter? Must be my lucky day!
He approaches the letter and leans over to reach it and leans back up to open the envelope and reveals the message inside
- Hi, Flaw.
Meet me at the park as soon as possible.
Flaw: what the f is this shit?
He thinks to himself for a moment, whilst looking at the letter.
Flaw: I might as well go flame this fag about not using a freaking stamp.
He grabs his coat that’s hung on the rack beside him and puts it on while he leaves his home to go to the park.
Once reaching the park, he noticed it was empty, which was peculiar due to it always being lively with kids and their parents at this time of day.
Flaw: Now, where is this bastard who decides to send me mail without a stamp? That cheap immigrant.
After five minutes of wondering around the park, flaw finally decides to sit down at a nearby bench and gaze at the sky, but suddenly a cloaked man sits beside him and starts to talk to him
Sexy Cloaked man: I see you have come.
Flaw checks his pants
Flaw: I haven’t done any such thing!
European Flasher: No….you’ve come because of my letter
Flaw: You sick bastard!
An Emo about to cut himself: NO! you’ve came at my request!!
Flaw: I don’t cum on request, you have me mixed up with someone else =|
Gothic Housewife: Just listen to me! I have a favour to ask of you and with a hefty reward.
Flaw: No freaking way! I am not getting in bed with any cloaked man. Not again!
Someone with a strap-on:…Again?...Argh, Never mind!
The man reaches into a deep pocket in his cloak and shows flaw a bundle of cash.
Pedobear incarnate: will this do?
Flaw looks at the money with a sparkle in his eyes.
Flaw: Sure, what do you want me to do?
After a brief explanation of the task this man has set to flaw, flaw agrees to the mission at hand and leaves the cloaked man and also the park.
RWJ lookalike: My plan is coming together nicely, this stupid boy will do anything for lunch money, Ha ha ha >:]
After a short-lived travel, flaw decides to take a detour to one of his friends’ apartments.
Flaw arrives at an estate and enters the building, taking a lift to the tenth floor and waiting out side of the door that is numbered ‘Sixty-nine’. Flaw knocks a few times and after the first few beats, the door is answered.
Gats: Flaw! Sup?
Flaw: I need you to come.
Gats: Dude, we’ve been through this before
Flaw: No, come with me.
Gats: I’m sorry bro, I don’t cum with people of the same gender.
Flaw: You English bitch!! C-O-M-E!
Gats: OH! Come! Ah, good. <.< >.> What’s up then?
After a momentary talk, Flaw explains the mission that was given to him and asks for the help of Gats’, which he soon enough accepted.
They both left the apartment and continued on with their task given to them by the mysterious man at the park. They were going downtown to the suburbs of the city via a taxi and further explanation revealed that they were headed to another apartment.
Once reaching the vicinity of the domain, Flaw and Gats’ let their selves inside and begin to hike the stairs of the large estate.
Flaw: Damn it, I was never cut out for climbing stairs
Gats: You’re a fat bastard, that’s why
Finally reaching the top, they notice only one door and upon assumption, they know that what they need is inside.
Flaw tries to open it by the handle but to no avail but nonetheless perseveres.
Flaw: what is this crap?
Gats: it’s a lock, flaw. A lock…
Gats’ reaches into his pocket and pulls out a credit card and slots it in the gap between the door and its frame which loosens it up, budging the lock and allowing them to enter the room.
After a few minutes of searching the home, they realise what they need wasn’t in there.
Gats: What the hell we suppose to do now?
Flaw: Wait I suppose…
Gats: Oh? Where do you suggest we wait then?
Flaw looks around and only notices one thing…The bed…
Flaw: under the bed?
Gats: No way, you homo….
Five minutes later, they hid under the bed.
After a further twenty minutes of hiding, a man enters the penthouse suite and goes straight to the mirror that’s attached onto the wall and also beside the bed where Flaw and Gats are hiding under.
Man: Damn, I look so good....I could just make love to myself right now.
The man begins to undress and finishing with just his boxer shorts on.
Man: Come here, Versuvio. You’re so damn HOT!!!
Versuvio begins to hump his own reflection and knowing this is the perfect time, Flaw and Gats leap up from underneath the bed, grappling him and beating him down to the floor.
Flaw: we got the bastard! Time to get my money!
Gats: Our money.
Flaw: Yeah, that.
After the struggle between the three people, Versuvio gets tied inside a sack and dragged outside of his penthouse suite and down all twelve flights of stairs.
Taking the taxi back to the park with Versuvio as a hostage and held at the trunk of the car, Flaw and Gats feel mighty relieved at what they have done
Flaw: Damn, we own ~_~ we should make this a business
Gats: Don’t get too afar ahead of yourself now -.-‘
The taxi eventually arrives outside of the park, Flaw and Gats get out in a rush and pay the driver, then snatching the sack that has Versuvio inside out of the boot of the taxi and dragging it inside the abandoned park.
While they drag the sack down the path of the park and the awaiting mysterious man, Flaw and Gats’ ponder about what they will do with the reward.
Flaw: I’m gonna get me some cheeseburgers, a kebab, a cheeseburger and a lamb kebab!
Gats: Yeah and I’ll buy you a gym membership, you fat bitch.
Flaw: I’ve had enough of your shit, you know that? -.-‘
Finally reaching the mysterious man, they both hand over the sack with the unconscious Versuvio inside in exchange for their cash reward.
Wannabe Spice girl: Thanks guys, you’ve done a great job. Much appreciated
Flaw: Whatever, you crazy faggot.
Flaw and Gats’ both walk away with the satisfaction of a huge cash reward but Mrs.Barney on the other hand smirks to himself and with the two boys backs turn and counting their reward, The hooded stripper injects both of them with needles into their necks.
Flaw: What the fu—
Gats: is this shi—
They both fall unconscious and the man with many names stuffs them both in separate sacks then walking away through the abandoned park with a smile of glee and narcissism on his face.
2-inch woody dude: Hahaha…Hahahahaha…HAHAHAHA...Hah
Back at Versuvio’s penthouse, a red-haired lady with a briefcase lets herself into the home and notices Versuvio’s clothes scattered on the bed.
Rei: V? it’s that time of the week to mass ban some noobs ^^
She looks around and notices he’s not in but still curious about why all his clothes are on the bed.
Rei: Huh if this is a joke, I’m going to freaking castrate you and eat your balls in a Fasolada soup >:[
She lays her briefcase onto the bed and opens it up and takes out her laptop.
Rei: Good thing I installed this ‘Versuvio tracking system’ a few months back. Where is he…
To be continued....
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Author's Notes
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I just want to point out that i made this fanfic pretty much at the earlier part of this year or something and only shown some close friends of mine on NB but today, i decided to post it. Yay for you people who are not my friends =D
Itachi once told me that i lack fanfic title but i responded 'you lack eyes, so why bother reading my fic?'
I intend to input everyone who's active on the forum into this piece one way or another, be it a major role or a cameo appearence, hopefully you'll be in here and you can request roles if you'd like because my way of writing is that even i'm not completely sure what will happen next
By popular demand, i introduce to you...
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thank you for allowing me this opportunity to waste your time. have a good day.
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