I'm shy.

The7thHokage

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Well...



I've heard that many times. But these guys who seem to conform to one common ideal (like being some jacked up douche) seem to be the ones "getting girls" rather than supposedly being themselves like the uniqueness of humans suggests.


Hmm.. I actually like that advice. But that's where my lack of confidence comes in. I'm hesitant to ask.


@Bold Are you kidding me? I am the last person to think of myself in that way. That's a blatant assumption on your part.

A personality trait such as my fear of rejection is not illogical nor irrational, I don't know why you would say that. Given what's happened in my life the last year, it's amazing that I'm still sane, let alone emotionally stable enough to even contemplate about relationships.



Nigguh, I surpassed your fodder ass months ago. :rolleyes:
Yeah, Im not gonna argue about something that might not appeal to me, but you seriously believe that everyone on planet earth will like you ?

That everyone but this one girl, will accept you ?

Is that what you are stating ?


Dont get me wrong, I meant that you cant have everyone like you, not that everyone hates you.
 

Cozat 87

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How do I go about approaching girls or trying to get a girlfriend? I'm extremely shy and have a fear of rejection.

CONFIDENT!!!!!!
Be confident about yourself....
Don't care about everyones word or thought... Mostly they don't think about it... So don't think they think low about yourself... Just be sure of yourself and live the world.... Don't live in the past anymore.... No matter what said, no matter what did... Don't mind... Just think of what you want and do it... Don't hesitated just act...
That what women want to see
 
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Transcendence

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NB wise, but in Real Life? Laughable. You can't even talk to girls. (I will hold this against you forever).
Hoer...

In real life? Depends how you categorize it. I hold a 94 average currently and am getting in to one of the top medical based schools in the world. But yes... I really don't know how to talk to girls.
You have to learn how to fail. It's not about shyness, it's the fear of being rejected you have. Don't be afraid of failure, it happens to everyone and is the first step in learning.
Fidd, has anyone told you how amazing you are, that you're always neutral and give the most unbiased opinions ever? Well, besides whe Wave is involved.

Haha I have the same problem. :shy:
It sucks :(
Yeah, Im not gonna argue about something that might not appeal to me, but you seriously believe that everyone on planet earth will like you ?

That everyone but this one girl, will accept you ?

Is that what you are stating ?


Dont get me wrong, I meant that you cant have everyone like you, not that everyone hates you.
I meant quite the opposite. I wasn't asserting that everyone likes me, nor than they should. I'm emotionally kind of weak because of personal things that have happened in the last little while, and I don't think I can handle the emotional pain that rejection may hold (I've been rejected before). It's not even one girl. I like keeping my options open, rather than fixated on one person, but I hesitate so much and then I lose my chance; whether it was their or not.
 

Disquiet

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You have to learn how to fail. It's not about shyness, it's the fear of being rejected you have. Don't be afraid of failure, it happens to everyone and is the first step in learning.


You got some good advice here. Others have gave some good advice as well.

Aside from that, just tell BellaN you want to spank dat ass.
 

The7thHokage

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Hoer...

In real life? Depends how you categorize it. I hold a 94 average currently and am getting in to one of the top medical based schools in the world. But yes... I really don't know how to talk to girls.


Fidd, has anyone told you how amazing you are, that you're always neutral and give the most unbiased opinions ever? Well, besides whe Wave is involved.



It sucks :(


I meant quite the opposite. I wasn't asserting that everyone likes me, nor than they should. I'm emotionally kind of weak because of personal things that have happened in the last little while, and I don't think I can handle the emotional pain that rejection may hold (I've been rejected before). It's not even one girl. I like keeping my options open, rather than fixated on one person, but I hesitate so much and then I lose my chance; whether it was their or not.
how can one not be indifferent ?

Emotions arise from many sources, and most of emotions are fake, being rejected doesnt mean anything other than that you werent fated to be together.

Life is all about luck, your luck doesnt reside in the ones that rejected you.
 
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Akaoni

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Making your goal to get rejected as many times as possible, like it's a competitive sport. Keep score, maybe a log... remember, you WANT to get rejected, and rejected in new and interesting ways. Set up a reward system... like get ice cream or whatever every 20 rejections. The hope is that soon you'll find rejection perfectly normal (this method works on many anxieties).

Also, girls are crazy, so the more you want to be rejected, the more likely they are to be interested. I have NO IDEA why... science?
 

Transcendence

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how can one not be indifferent ?

Emotions arise from many sources, and most of emotions are fake, being rejected doesnt mean anything other than that you werent fated to be together.

Life is all about luck, your luck doesnt reside in the ones that rejected you.
I'm not sure if you understand what I was getting at. It's not about "not being fated to be together". I just meant the inevitable emotional pain that follows rejection would specifically hamper me because of past experiences in the last year.

Making your goal to get rejected as many times as possible, like it's a competitive sport. Keep score, maybe a log... remember, you WANT to get rejected, and rejected in new and interesting ways. Set up a reward system... like get ice cream or whatever every 20 rejections. The hope is that soon you'll find rejection perfectly normal (this method works on many anxieties).

Also, girls are crazy, so the more you want to be rejected, the more likely they are to be interested. I have NO IDEA why... science?
That sounds crazy enough that it just might work.
 
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The7thHokage

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I'm not sure if you understand what I was getting at. It's not about "not being fated to be together". I just meant the inevitable emotional pain that follows rejection would specifically hamper me because of past experiences in the last year.



That sounds crazy enough that it just might work.
It isnt inevitable.
I know it isnt, based on past experiences.

Once you are confident that you are who you are, and how wonderful of a person you must be, you can feel no pain from rejection.

You feel bad after that because you lack confidence, that people reject you because you arent cool, nice, likable, bla bla, so once you believe in yourself, define your true worth, and be sure that whoever might feel otherwise is living an illusion, you can definitely approach others without fear.
 

Transcendence

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It isnt inevitable.
I know it isnt, based on past experiences.

Once you are confident that you are who you are, and how wonderful of a person you must be, you can feel no pain from rejection.

You feel bad after that because you lack confidence, that people reject you because you arent cool, nice, likable, bla bla, so once you believe in yourself, define your true worth, and be sure that whoever might feel otherwise is living an illusion, you can definitely approach others without fear.
I kind of want to rep you for this post. Thank you.
 

The Dreamer

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Well I kinda understand how you feel, but if you really like the girl and you think she likes you too (or atleast finds you interesting) you should ask her out. I really can't give you a better advice since I never even had a girlfriend. xD But being afraid of rejection is normal. It's the same when you were learning how to swim and you were afraid you'd get drowned, but if you hadn't tried you'd never really learn to swim would you? You do know how to swim right? xD
 
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Zee Seh

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Haha I have the same problem. :shy:
Why am i not surprised ! ? ( ._.)

OT: Their waz a time in my life wen i got the same problem.. since i was quite shy from the very beginning. Then something happened. I started giving no fuuck about people around me. and it worked. My self confidence was the only thing that lacked in me. But now thats old talk for now. Believe me. Its sounds Naruto'ish though but :| . 'First Acknowledge yourself'.
 
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