I don't know what to do anymore....
- Thread starter Whizgigger
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Pumpkin Ninja
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Her behavior indicates that she does not love you but will selfishly accept all you are willing to give.
I hope you can focus on taking care of yourself and planning a future that is meaningful for you, with or without someone else in it.
And please, when her current relationship blows up as it surely will, do not let her use you again.
Move on. You deserve to be treated so much better than she has treated you.
I hope you can focus on taking care of yourself and planning a future that is meaningful for you, with or without someone else in it.
And please, when her current relationship blows up as it surely will, do not let her use you again.
Move on. You deserve to be treated so much better than she has treated you.
I'm not sure if this problem of yours is true or not but I guess it won't hurt to throw in some advice or something for your sake 
Tbh, my friend's on Tinder too, and he's a good buddy. Kinda a bit pervert (a healthy dude, I know lol) but he's more than honest on personal level. Just to...emm ya know... straighten that out.
So... I do believe your ex-gf might think you were too good for her and she didn't deserve you, hence slipping away. If the new guy she met turns out to be abusive and only using her or some kind, would you take her in again? I suggest you don't have to, it's not really your obligation or your role to be her knight in shining armour when she used to dump you twice. She should've learned her lesson before.
However, if I were you, I would try to meet her and try talking about it face-to-face for the last time to clarify things. The way she left you so secretly without even telling you indicated two things: whether she didn't have a heart to tell you since she knew you loved her very much and would end up crying, or she really was being a b-i-t-c-h.
It's hard to move on in any case, so you can take your time, but try your best not to let such matter affects your whole life. If you don't have a will to keep on living, find a new motivation to light it up again. There's still lot of stuffs you can and must do in this life. You have a family to take care of before a lover.
Tbh, my friend's on Tinder too, and he's a good buddy. Kinda a bit pervert (a healthy dude, I know lol) but he's more than honest on personal level. Just to...emm ya know... straighten that out.
So... I do believe your ex-gf might think you were too good for her and she didn't deserve you, hence slipping away. If the new guy she met turns out to be abusive and only using her or some kind, would you take her in again? I suggest you don't have to, it's not really your obligation or your role to be her knight in shining armour when she used to dump you twice. She should've learned her lesson before.
However, if I were you, I would try to meet her and try talking about it face-to-face for the last time to clarify things. The way she left you so secretly without even telling you indicated two things: whether she didn't have a heart to tell you since she knew you loved her very much and would end up crying, or she really was being a b-i-t-c-h.
It's hard to move on in any case, so you can take your time, but try your best not to let such matter affects your whole life. If you don't have a will to keep on living, find a new motivation to light it up again. There's still lot of stuffs you can and must do in this life. You have a family to take care of before a lover.
CrimsonReaper
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I think you should break up with her she doesn't sound that loyal, move on, this is mental abuse if she needs you then she'll try to contact you and it's up to you if you wanna get back together or not, don't be pussy whipped.
Last edited:
Whizgigger
Member
We are not talking anymore. She randomly blocked my facebook and my phone number a week ago...I'm not sure if this problem of yours is true or not but I guess it won't hurt to throw in some advice or something for your sake
Tbh, my friend's on Tinder too, and he's a good buddy. Kinda a bit pervert (a healthy dude, I know lol) but he's more than honest on personal level. Just to...emm ya know... straighten that out.
So... I do believe your ex-gf might think you were too good for her and she didn't deserve you, hence slipping away. If the new guy she met turns out to be abusive and only using her or some kind, would you take her in again? I suggest you don't have to, it's not really your obligation or your role to be her knight in shining armour when she used to dump you twice. She should've learned her lesson before.
However, if I were you, I would try to meet her and try talking about it face-to-face for the last time to clarify things. The way she left you so secretly without even telling you indicated two things: whether she didn't have a heart to tell you since she knew you loved her very much and would end up crying, or she really was being a b-i-t-c-h.
It's hard to move on in any case, so you can take your time, but try your best not to let such matter affects your whole life. If you don't have a will to keep on living, find a new motivation to light it up again. There's still lot of stuffs you can and must do in this life. You have a family to take care of before a lover.
CrimsonReaper
Active member
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Why do you give a crap then she left you before, move on with life.
i'm sure you'll find someone better for you.
Whizgigger
Member
I'm working on it. I have feelings you know...feelings that I have entrusted to her which she destroyed...
Sounds like you're too nice. Some women like being treated like a dog. Blame yourself for not being able to read people thoroughly to prevent yourself from getting hurt. I'm at a stage where I barely identify with anything, my physical manifestation for one. So I don't feel any negative feeling if my body is not attractive to another or a girl I have/had a crush on is with someone else. I'd gaf nowadays and I don't expect anything because expectation creates disappointment and sulkyness.
Pick yourself up and READ people before you open up.
Pick yourself up and READ people before you open up.
Whizgigger
Member
This is a difficult scenario all the way around.
Abuse is an insidious thing, and there is no simple answer for how to relieve someone of it. In fact - part of the reason it is so insidious is that there is very little anyone else -can- do, other than try to provide an environment free of abuse. Even so - the abuse still persists within the person's mind.
It is very common among people who are abused as children and even teenagers, particularly sexual abuse.
Think of it this way - you meet this amazing girl and you want to do everything in the world to make sure you are everything she has ever wanted. Yet... every time things begin to get intimate - it's impossible to not remember the time where you were touched inappropriately as a younger person. It distracts you - she notices, and becomes concerned.
You're "damaged goods" - and are bringing down those around you who you care about the most. Or... you believe you are. The reality is that she's probably just as focused on the idea of making you happy as you are focused on the idea of making her happy. But that idea is understandably difficult to grasp for a person whose primary experiences with physical contact and even *** were really only for the personal gratification of another person.
Abuse manifests as a self-destructive mindset where the affected individual believes he/she is no longer worthy of happiness. Mistakes made in life are remembered as reasons for why the individual should be punished, or for why he/she deserves mistreatment. The realization that personal actions caused harm to another become grounds for driving this person further into the idea that he/she deserves to be punishment and does not deserve happiness.
Common phrases are: "You deserve someone better than me," "I don't deserve someone like you," "I'm always such an idiot," "I'm a horrible person," etc. These statements go beyond simple joking - but are frequent sentiments brought about regularly by minor things.
People who fall into this cycle usually tend to adopt a sort of logical 'hedge' against what they feel is their destructive nature. If one is a horrible person who is unfit for a decent person - perhaps one can become a simple servant to people who are not as deserving of a decent human being as a companion.
Promiscuity then manifests as a sort of service. If they can service another person's desire (and perhaps reinforce the idea they are a horrible person by gaining some pleasure from it, themselves) and then not harm them through that person developing an emotional attachment or some kind of companionship beyond that master-servant relationship... then their continued existence can at least be said to have purpose.
Insanity is often very logical, if you dare to venture into another person's mind to figure out the pattern.
It could be very true that when she says she loves you - she really means it. It is just that she considers herself unworthy of you - of being unable to be a net positive in your life. Perhaps she has difficulty controlling some impulses, as well. A lot of people of the younger generations have impulse control issues. When pornography and social media is in our pockets - 'sexting' practically seeks you out. No payment necessary. Any difficulty she may have in controlling any one of these impulses reinforces the idea she has that she is a horrible person and is bringing you down.
The worst part about this is that this is something she has convinced herself of - and only through finding a true love/appreciation for who she is - for the fact that she can become a great person in spite of her past can she ever free herself from that cycle of self-abuse and hatred.
She may eventually settle into a relationship where she is slave to a person who is not abusive to her - but she will still be a slave to a master as opposed to a genuine companion. Currently, she is likely after the type of people who reinforce the idea that she is a horrible person - that they are 'what a person like her deserves.' But, eventually, the only real requirement is that a guy be indifferent to her outside of providing the outlet of service.
I know that doesn't help much in terms of what you can do...
But, sometimes, all you can do is let someone know that you will always be there for them, and have faith that they will survive long enough to find the inner strength to realize there is something of worth within them.
