How to meet new people

[LeafSpirit 20]

Ok, guys I need your help, as im kinda stuck here. Well I have never been a very social person, and the perfect place to get a lot of friends/ gf is high school.. Well Im now in college, and I guess I let my high school time fly away without making much friends... And the friends I do have are to busy working, or have their own lives now, or turned to total jerks.. Right now Im in vacation of college, and only attend two days in a week and only have two classes, and most of the people in college keep to themselves, and are not very social, as they now have their own lives as well. And im also appliying for jobs, but no luck.. So what do you suggest me to do, as I think of myself as being stuck and get frustrated... =(
I also dont have a car, and dont know how to drive pretty well.. =(

 

[DarkPhoenix]

you fit Sai's personality quite well....

try to find common ground....
gain an interest and join a group...

 

[~Rihan~]

hmm you gotta start the conversation lol and then the other person should start to talk then bang you made a friend lol

 

[Piccolosan]

lol yea collage is like that
also don't make it sound as if your going to die alone, embrace this and you shall see that it usually falls together by itself. If you try to hard nothing will happen

 

[Zanu]

you fit Sai's personality quite well....

try to find common ground....
gain an interest and join a group...

¨

Yeah indeed. Im guessing they have sport clubs and science clubs or what not at the college?, why not joing a club of sorts in wich u have interest ?

 

[Jack Spicer]

I'm in the same place, but in High School xd

My school is combining with other schools this year, so I think I'll be fine. I just gotta stop being lazy. It's just that no one likes what I likes, that I know so far.

 

[Scorps]

Hum... I passed both of those stages and the best advice is to first chill and don't stress. Also, look around to find groups or people that share the same interests as you.

Also, dont't try to be someone you're not just to try and fit in...it generally doesn't go well...

I'd say internet but i don't know how things are in your country. In mine it's a good way to meet friends of friends and sometimes share interests... But in less secure countries that could prove a dangerous...

 

[Yashin]

Be yourself man,Just find people with common intrests,(Music-Games-Tv shows etc..)

 

[LeafSpirit 20]

Lol, I know right, a lot of people say I look like sai, and im like sai =o.
And very good points of view, thx guys =). The problem is that is hard for me to start a conversation, specially when your classmates in college are all quiet and mature, and 65 percent of your classmates are 40 years old and up with their own family... (Im 20, btw)
I have tried to be sociall on church, and im going to a group, but its just once a week, and people are like 5 to 4 years younger than me there, and they all know each other pretty well already there..
So how do you start a conversation and make friends when youre the new kid and everybody pretty much knows each other, and they dont talk to you, they just stick to their group... Its hard...

 

[Avani]

There must be something you like to do- you can involve yourself in that. And try to stay focussed yourself about your studies and goals. it's for a short span and you will get used to it and I think you will be able to make friends too, slowly.

Being around older mature people has its advantages- some of them actually may turn out to be intelligent! and willing to share their expeirence and knowledge if you ask.

I made a friend who was 74 year old when I was 16. She and I had the same hobby I liked reading books and she liked to share her collection with me. And she had travelled a lot and had many interesting incidents to tell from all around the world. It was fun. I still miss her.

I don't make friends that easily either. But I talk to everyone around usually, if I find them interesting I will find out a subject to share with. It doesn't mean that you have to crowd that person. If he/she is not interested back of or if they want to keep the interaction limited, let it be. It's a part of growing up.

You really do not make that many friends in a college. Everyone is there for themselves. You can get a few good friends and lots of contacts though if you persist.

Good luck.

 

[LeafSpirit 20]

Thanks for that thoughtfull post.. Like you said, perseverance is a key factor.. High school was the perfect place to meet tons of people, but I let that chance sleep by, no good in criying about it, past is past. It is hard, like you said, college people keep to themselves, so i get frustrated a lot with my current situation... It sucks that you hear, see, people (friends) going out and having a good time, when you dont..Its depressing.

 

[Avani]

Don't think what others are doing. They maybe jealous of your having time for yourself at times.

What are your hobbies? Is there anything you like for which you really don't need company? Like Swimming/Skating/shooting/Reading/trecking/ walking/anything? If you take any of such thing for routine, even if you joind a gym regularly you will have an outlet for your energy and you will feel that you accomplished something. You may come across new people and make friends too. Or at least people with whom you can spend some time and just chit chat.

As we grow up we have to learn to be independednt and that includeds not depeding on certain freinds for companinonship all the time. They are bound to have their own life and you have to make your own and learn to enjoy it. Make a routine for yourself.

 

[LeafSpirit 20]

Don't think what others are doing. They maybe jealous of your having time for yourself at times.

What are your hobbies? Is there anything you like for which you really don't need company? Like Swimming/Skating/shooting/Reading/trecking/ walking/anything? If you take any of such thing for routine, even if you joind a gym regularly you will have an outlet for your energy and you will feel that you accomplished something. You may come across new people and make friends too. Or at least people with whom you can spend some time and just chit chat.

As we grow up we have to learn to be independednt and that includeds not depeding on certain freinds for companinonship all the time. They are bound to have their own life and you have to make your own and learn to enjoy it. Make a routine for yourself.

Well, here is the thing man.. I wasnt social in high school because I had a very low self estem, and other issues in my head.. But now, i have mature and have gotten most of those issues out of my head, and im ready to finally go out there, and live life.. I mean im 20, if its not now, then when..? My mother, which is an excellent mother and person, was the nice, quiet type of girl all her life, and she has told me that she regrets not having friends and enjoying life, and getting married in such a young age, and now in her 40s she wants to do what she didnt as a teen... I dont want to be like that... And yeah, in all my times of solitude, I like to read, draw, write poetry, run, go on the bike, watch anime, but one gets tired of doing all this and felling alone to such a point.. I have a great family, but sometimes family doesnt sufice, I want to enjoy life, and explore the world, but seem stuck in time... It really is a pain

 

[Avani]

You are only 20. Don't get impatient. Living a life and having fun is an idea and mentality too. It may not be the fun of the type you think at the moment but some other kind.

Why do you think I am on internet chatting with some stranger (you) at middle of the night instead of just going to bed? I like to interact. And I like to help if I can, even if just for the moment.

Some times you have to think out side the box and exapnd your horizon. There are all sorts of fun activities around. Start enjoying your life as much as you can. Be outgoing. Goto public places even when alone and try to look raround and admire the life itself. When you have a really positive image of yourself you will find peace within you. And other people will sense it too and try to make you their friend themselves. People tend to turn away from desperate people.

Your mother may have her regrets, but it's not necessary that you will repeat the history. Don't let this fear affect you.

 

[shadedcrow]

• Google social groups in your area.
  
• pick up a new hobby, riding bikes, pool, darts, art classes, then chill at a place where you can develop your new skill and your bound to meet new people.
  
• Coffee shops people chill here all the time, and some of them are bound to be intresting
  
• Ride the bus- some crazy people on these things but its still kind of fun to get to know/talk to them. Just dont get your butt kicked by talking to someones gf.
  
• Be a mall rat, chill at the food court with a soda, or just go and people watch. I moved twice in a month and went back to my home town and went to the mall and saw all kinds of people I knew in school. Talked to a few as well.
  
• Go to the library
  
• find a place to volunteer, hospital, or vets office. Theres a crazy amount of people there that you can talk to, get to know/befriend. + you can use it on your applications/resume. Most places will give you a refferace after so many hours of service.
  
• Ease your way into it look for a public speaking group, like toastmasters they will bring you out of your shell.

 

[Punk Hazard]

i was like this for a while till i got to 5th grade. try being funny. that got me some friends. also find some people you have stuf in common with. i used music, naruto, dbz and some sports. even books help

 

[LeafSpirit 20]

isthatnecesary, I know consider you my buddy, thanks a lot man, Your help is really helpfull, bealive it, thx man, its always great to listen and take advice from the more experienced people! Mall rat shadedcrow? Lol, I get ya man, go out there even if its by myself, and try to experience new things, be in groups. Well my story is that since about the 7th grade I was bullied a lot in school, as i was the nice kid who didnt say bad words, and the kids made me fell like crap, like I wasnt a human, just a waste of space, kind of the felling naruto and gaara had as kids because of their beast inside them, I was bullied, or the laughing stock of the class as i was the nice, shy weak type of kid, So i got isolated even through all my high school years(the best years in ones life), and because of my isolation I forgot how to socialize with others, what emotions to use around people, kinda like sai, i got social anxiety.. Now that I have matured from experiences, I have more confidence in myself, and got a lot of those thoughts I had out of my head, now that I think i can go out there is hard for me, for the reasons I just mentioned.
Many people dont take bulliying seriously, but it is, It can destroy a kids life, bealive me
Isolation is one of the strongest pains in this world, and I woudnt wish this to anyone, not even my enemies

 

[Uchiha Riyo]

Here's a crazy idea,say hi to people.WOW

 

[Avani]

It's nice to know I could help.

Bullying is always harmful and should be tackled as early as possible. It does hinders personality development of the victims. Schools and parents both should be more vigilent about it and tackle it at early stage. Still it's also true that a lot of go though this phase at one time or another in our childhood- even in adults are subjected to it quite often.

Some of the bullies as a child remain bullies for their life. You are going to find them everywhere in different guise. Ever noticed the persons who start agressive flaming and get personal here at NB itself as soon as they start posting? It's weired that some of us think that since it's internet they do not need any manners or can get away with anything.

At other times you may find that even that bully has turned into a quite tolerable person as he learned to solve his issues instead of taking it out on others.

The trick is to separate yourself from them- bullying affects you, thats true but the problem is not you but their own mentality and incapability to handle themselves. Be firm ( not foolish though) and stand up for yourself. let bygones be bygones. if someone tries to bring up your past against you just ignore him. Treat others with respect if they don't show the same in return, just walk away.

You do not need to use bad words to express yourself- only immature people lacking in good vocabulary do that. I hardly ever use bad words - I don't feel the need.

You are at a place where you can only go forward. You made it to the college. That's a plus. There may be small road blocks here and there. You may have to take a different route at times but, best thing about life is that it always moves ahead.

Every accomplishment big or small will help you in developing a personality and in turn in getting noticed and making friends.

Good luck.

 

[shadedcrow]

people change and people grow from the time there were in middle school/high school. I have a friend who is back in my homestate and he cant stand the people there, and is putting himself into exile. ANd is miserable as hell. But no one is keeping or putting him there but himself. There are plenty of ok-cool people out there but being an introvert I cant really stand to be around 75% of the general population, of extroverts. I can be a quiet person and disapear into the masses which I enjoy at times, or I can chat it up like the worlds going to end tomarrow. Its all a personal choice and takes some getting used to, like my friend back in utah. Anyhow a mall rat is a person who goes to the mall because theres nothing else to really do, and people watch.