I don't think you've offended anyone

No reason to be on edge, we are all e-friends here.
I don't argue with what you say but I think we were discussing about the one who would make this decision, not the situation itself. That's the point here, what the one taking the decision should be thinking, not what would happen in each occasion. And yes, definitely, we do not live in an ideal society, so human life is not valued the same. Hundreds of Muslims die every day in Palestine and we are concerned because of the few deaths that happen daily in our countries and we get annoyed or sad by it. All of us, or at least most. This is the absolute devaluation of human life: depending on where the death took place, we get involved or we ignore.
For the second part of what you said, it has all been said by Kant already: we get punished -and involved- not because of what we did but because we could have acted otherwise, so it's not about what we will gain but about what we will not lose.
By the way, have you read Nietzche's: 'On the Genealogy of Morality'? Seeing that you are somewhat thinking philosophically, I really recommend it to you because, in my opinion, it's the best answer to what you've just said and the best explanation of what this 'conscience' (and not subconscious) really is:
'The proud realization of the extraordinary privilege of responsibility, the awareness of this rare freedom and power over himself and his destiny, has penetrated him [the Man] to the depths and become an instinct, his dominant instinct: -what will he call his dominant instinct, assuming that he needs a word for it? No doubt about this answer: the sovereign man calls it his conscience'