[Discussion] Girls dating a guy with a child.. U_U

[Ciao]

Im 20 years old.. :|

Well if you're American, you're likely to be paying child support soon. I worked with young guys who had kids with ex girlfriends and 60% of their paycheck went to child support.

As far as dating goes, you'll just have to be upfront and tell the girl you have a kid.

 

[BusinessManTeno]

Simple fact is that your child is part of your life. You can't be with someone that wants to be with you but can't deal with you having a child. Be honest and if she doesn't want to be with you tough.

Oh and congrats on your little girl.

:| Lol. Creepy seeing as we dont know what it is yet

Erm, I think you should focus on your kid before you decide to go out and date again.

If the girl can't accept your circumstance, she isn't for you, bro.

I mean.. I I need to hop on stuff while I can.. Not to mention I live in VA she lives in TX. So I wont be having the child with me

u should try to work it out with the mother of your child. where is the love? the compassion and loyalty? be strong

I tried.. Trust me.... I dont want to be with her no more.. Everything I went thru with her after this proove she leaves when shit hits the fan.. I love her but we will only be friends...

 

[D R E X]

Im 20 years old.. :|



Umm..
Well, She wanted an abortion and she wanted 500 to get rid of it. I talked her out of it and told her im not doing that. If she dont want the baby give it to me. I begged her to keep it.. something most men wont do
So she dumped me and said she still gonna have it but she dont feel Im there for her cause I didnt give her money to abort the baby.. Smh

If I were in your situation , I would go the the church and pray to god

Secondly , don't stress it ......it will only make you feel bad and cause tension .

last , if you are brave enough tell her mother about it...... Go for it

In addition , never lose Hope ...its what keeps us alive today

eat well , sleep well and live well...that's all I have to say.

Everything will be fine the next day .

 

[BusinessManTeno]

Well if you're American, you're likely to be paying child support soon. I worked with young guys who had kids with ex girlfriends and 60% of their paycheck went to child support.

As far as dating goes, you'll just have to be upfront and tell the girl you have a kid.

She wont be putting me on child support, cause if she trys.. The baby is coming with me.. Im WAY more stable than her and If need be Ill fight for the child. I gave it her way and let her have the baby.. cause I feel a child need their mother more than father (-sigh-) Dont ask why I think that way so I rather the child be with her mother everyday even though I do wanna be with my child.. heh cant have your cake and eat it too right

If I were in your situation , I would go the the church and pray to god

Secondly , don't stress it ......it will only make you feel bad and cause tension .

last , if you are brave enough tell her mother about it......

In addition , never lose Hope ...its what keeps us alive today

eat well , sleep well and live well...that's all I have to say.

I dont go to church to pray. U_U I just do it home
And her mom knows about it.. Her mother called me apologizing cause she talked mad shit abot me (I didnt know) but she read the text messages me and my ex had and was like Im the definition of a real man, a man willing to take a child even if the mother dont want it.. and told me dont give up on trying to convince her to stop the abortion (Which at the time i gave up, but her mom gave me the boost)

Im not losing hope.. I just hope this dont mess up my shit.. =/

 

[Craziie]

You just tell her, this isn't some struggle.
Some girls, don't mind depends on what kind of girl your talking to.
If she is an acceptable person and loving, then most likely , she will be excited for a baby.

Let her know about this baby, because if your in her life, then she should be one of the most important person in your life, don't hide her.

I'm out.

 

[Kαmi]

I like this answer. *****



I agree with you here



Im 20


No. On a porn forum. NO SHIT A ANIME FORUM. smh



Man, you totally right...I was telling my brother that. The fact that Im handling my business might be a plus.. But I just got a bad feeling.. But your right.. Any women that dont wanna be in me or my child life. Ion need em

Exactly son, it's good you realize that and that's the main thing you need to keep in mind when you're serious with a girl. In any case, good luck man and congrats on the baby, continue to be a man and do your best as a father!

 

[Urda]

Well if you're American, you're likely to be paying child support soon. I worked with young guys who had kids with ex girlfriends and 60% of their paycheck went to child support.

As far as dating goes, you'll just have to be upfront and tell the girl you have a kid.

As men, we are brothers. Brotherly advise.

You are taking care the child. If she is getting child support, it would be the end of you. Get full custody if you have not already. Save your receipts for evidence to say your are the sole provider of your child. Have a job and a stable home. Child support is a no. We would not let that woman break you than she already has.

If you want her to hurt, you get child support. I think that is possible. I forgot.

 

[KGB Kakuzu]

Im 20 years old.. :|



Umm..
Well, She wanted an abortion and she wanted 500 to get rid of it. I talked her out of it and told her im not doing that. If she dont want the baby give it to me. I begged her to keep it.. something most men wont do
So she dumped me and said she still gonna have it but she dont feel Im there for her cause I didnt give her money to abort the baby.. Smh

I have to admit not backing down is a pretty noble choice on your part. That's a bit of a touchy subject so I won't go into it, but I respect your decision.

As for the mom, I understand her angle on you not being there, but in all honesty you are being there for the kid.. and of course that easily can extend to you being there for her before, during, and after child labor. While I cannot empathise with your frustration in that regard... To a degree I can get an idea of how that must have felt.

But like I said, you think, and someone else mentioned... You need to let this other woman know what the situation is.

 

[smokesup]

yes honesty is the best policy. And there's nothing odd about going to an anime web site for advice. I had to make a very important speech a month ago, a lot was riding on it and I was very nervous. Someone on this site gave me the suggestion that I imagine everyone in the room in their underwear while I made the speech to make me less nervous. When the big day came and it was my turn to give the speech, I did it, I imagined EVERYONE in the room in their underwear, the Judge, the Jury, my lawyer, EVERYONE. I am happy to say I am now a free man! Thanks Narutobase!

 

[Itachi The Solo King]

The struggle is real if you're resorting to NarutoBase for answers.

OP: Honesty is the best policy, she'll find out eventually if you stay with her.. man up.

lol plus-Rep

You deserve it

 

[Daien]

:|
I tried.. Trust me.... I dont want to be with her no more.. Everything I went thru with her after this proove she leaves when shit hits the fan.. I love her but we will only be friends...

Assuming you are both in the same age bracket 18-25, You should not give up.She is probably just having an immature reaction to a mature situation. You need to be persistent and don't just run off to be comforted by another woman. If you are persistent in your support of her, she will eventually come around. You have to realize that this has completely changed her life. Your decisions have and will continue to impede this young woman's ability to chase her dreams. If you cannot be more understanding of her situation and just put up with her current anger at you, you will most likey regret it.

 

[BusinessManTeno]

As men, we are brothers. Brotherly advise.

You are taking care the child. If she is getting child support, it would be the end of you. Get full custody if you have not already. Save your receipts for evidence to say your are the sole provider of your child. Have a job and a stable home. Child support is a no. We would not let that woman break you than she already has.

If you want her to hurt, you get child support. I think that is possible. I forgot.

If she thinks she puttn me on child support, I will be going to court for my child. No ifs, ands, or buts

I have to admit not backing down is a pretty noble choice on your part. That's a bit of a touchy subject so I won't go into it, but I respect your decision.

As for the mom, I understand her angle on you not being there, but in all honesty you are being there for the kid.. and of course that easily can extend to you being there for her before, during, and after child labor. While I cannot empathise with your frustration in that regard... To a degree I can get an idea of how that must have felt.

But like I said, you think, and someone else mentioned... You need to let this other woman know what the situation is.

I know, I told her im there for her, what she needs not what she wants. I told her (Even now) since you are carrying MY child. I will provide for YOU while you are carrying the child. I told her she will never go without a want while pregnant. Anything she want. She got it. TO me, I feel like she let the best thing that happened to her go.. I told her this..Idk.. Shes just immature.. she said some very hurtful things.. but i wont get on that but Ima be honest with you bro.. I never thought I would feel it.. But she had me contemplating if I wanna be there for the child.. YES it was that bad.. She had so much shit to say and what she was gonna do I actually thought "**** it, Ima just be a dead beat dad" Then I thought, I dont want my child growing up hating me..=/

Assuming you are both in the same age bracket 18-25, You should not give up.She is probably just having an immature reaction to a mature situation. You need to be persistent and don't just run off to be comforted by another woman. If you are persistent in your support of her, she will eventually come around. You have to realize that this has completely changed her life. Your decisions have and will continue to impede this young woman's ability to chase her dreams. If you cannot be more understanding of her situation and just put up with her current anger at you, you will most likey regret it.

Bro.... I agree 100%.. But she has made it 100% clear she dont want me no more.. Like... I told her time and time.. like dude, u will never see me beg for a chick. she told me she no longer living with me blah blah. -sigh-.. But maybe you are right.. But in my heart I feel like she is trying to move on.. =/. The Immature thoughts to a mature situation I do believe.. =/ I have no clue how to go about that

 

[-Punk-]

Personally , i wouldn't date a girl with a child .

but , you have to be honest with this girl you are dating , there's no point in lying to her about the kid , either she accepts you like that or dumps you . You can't hide it forever .

 

[Crossroads]

I hope you like your answers from kids who don't even know what they had for breakfast this morning.

Seriously, this isn't the best place for this sort of thing..

 

[D R E X]

I hope you like your answers from kids who don't even know what they had for breakfast this morning.

Seriously, this isn't the best place for this sort of thing..

I had nothing for breakfast .....

 

[H A D E S]

You should be totally honest, man.

Take her to a quiet place. A place where she can get mad at you (she'll be shocked and say things like "Why didnt you tell me before?") Well, this is totally fine. Any person is going to freak-out at first at such news, so it OK. If I were you, I wouldn't directly start the conversation with something like "Look, I have a child". I'd suggest, first tell her what got you into the situation and end it with you telling her the main problem that is the child part. I'm telling you this b'cuz some girls just runs away after hearing the worst part and doesnt want to listen to the rest of the part anymore.

Now, on your part, try not to force her to stay (continue her relationship with you). If she understands you and stays then its really cool (She's really into you). But if she decides to break-up with you then you should just let her go. Thats b'cuz even if she stayed without her own will to stay, she's obviously going to regret it in the near future and could cause problem in your life (esp for you child).

And one more thing, give her time to decide. Its going to be a tough decission. Even if she's mad at you at that present moment, she might cool down later and come to understand you. Give her a day or two.

Good Luck bro.
And congrats you're gonna be a father.

 

[Gokillerz]

Confess all the way, before you are going to continue your relationship, don't hurt her feeling man, don't lie too...

 

[ShishaMastah420]

How do you expect to father a child when you have trouble with simply making a decision to tell your significant other about the fruit of your loins?

Once you accept the responsibility of molding a Human Being it is best to affirm your prioties and make sure said prioties are firmly asserted.

Ignorance is Bliss; Naivety is Insanity.

 

[Gdamon]

Just tell her already the quicker the better...

 

[cptenn94]

If she thinks she puttn me on child support, I will be going to court for my child. No ifs, ands, or buts



I know, I told her im there for her, what she needs not what she wants. I told her (Even now) since you are carrying MY child. I will provide for YOU while you are carrying the child. I told her she will never go without a want while pregnant. Anything she want. She got it. TO me, I feel like she let the best thing that happened to her go.. I told her this..Idk.. Shes just immature.. she said some very hurtful things.. but i wont get on that but Ima be honest with you bro.. I never thought I would feel it.. But she had me contemplating if I wanna be there for the child.. YES it was that bad.. She had so much shit to say and what she was gonna do I actually thought "**** it, Ima just be a dead beat dad" Then I thought, I dont want my child growing up hating me..=/



Bro.... I agree 100%.. But she has made it 100% clear she dont want me no more.. Like... I told her time and time.. like dude, u will never see me beg for a chick. she told me she no longer living with me blah blah. -sigh-.. But maybe you are right.. But in my heart I feel like she is trying to move on.. =/. The Immature thoughts to a mature situation I do believe.. =/ I have no clue how to go about that

Well i think whatever happens in your future, that you will make a splendid father to your child.

Women can be VERY emotional beings. It is possible she may come around once she sees the child. If she doesnt, then it might be best to just move on to someone better.

If I were you, i would be more focused on makeing sure Im prepared to be able to handle the baby, when it arrives, before looking to get into a new relationship. That child will take quite a bit of your time and energy when it arrives(not to mention stress). If you are in a new relationship, then you may find takeing care of the child MAY take a toll on your relationship. However if you find a really good new girl, then it could possibly strengthen it(as that hypothetical girl could help take care of the child, makeing it less stressful).

This is only what i could imagine doing, as i am not in your situation.(and you never know what you will actually do till you are in the situation)


I respect your strength in the decision to keep the child, and hope everything works out for you though.