Funny Jokes
- Thread starter Hot.Tendo
- Start date
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Ero sennin
Active member
a bear and a rabbit are taking a s**t in the woods the bear turns to the rabbit and says excuse me do you have problems with s**t sticking to your fur the rabbit says no so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Ero sennin
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a guy in a pub notices his friends dug licking its balls he goes to his friend id love to be able to do that he goes well give it a biscuit and it will let you
One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed." The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game. The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" asked the bartender. The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years.
There was a farmer and he had three daughters. One day, all of the daughters had their first dates. Wanting to meet the young men who were to take his daughters out on a date. So the farmer went to the porch and waited for the boys to arrive.
the first boy came up and introducted himself, "My name is eddie, I'm here for betty. We're gonna go get some spagetti, Is she ready?" Seeming like he was good he let her go. The second boy came up and introducted himself. "My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're gonna go see a show, Is she ready to go?" Seeming as he was good he let them go. The third boy came up and introducted himself. He said, "My name is Chuck-" and the farmer shot him.
If you didn't get it:
the first boy came up and introducted himself, "My name is eddie, I'm here for betty. We're gonna go get some spagetti, Is she ready?" Seeming like he was good he let her go. The second boy came up and introducted himself. "My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're gonna go see a show, Is she ready to go?" Seeming as he was good he let them go. The third boy came up and introducted himself. He said, "My name is Chuck-" and the farmer shot him.
If you didn't get it:
Since all the names rhymed. And the boys name was Chuck. His name rhymes with F***
Ero sennin
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a man who's convinced he was a moth goes to the doctor he says doctor am totally convinced am a moth. the doctor goes i can't help with that maybe a psycotheripist would help. the man goes funny you should say that i was on my way to him and i noticed your light was on.
SHARINGAN_USER UCHIHA_ITACHI
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After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."xd
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."xd
Ero sennin
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a man meets his friend in a bar his friend goes hows the wife he goes deid out the game i murdered her. he goes what yeah this morning his friend goes look am no talking to you if your gonna talk like that he goes please your self i'll show you if you like he goes ok. so they leave and go to his place they go out to the back into a wash hose and sure enough theres a mound of earth but theres a bum sticking out he goes is that her he goes yeah his mate goes why did you leave her bum sticking out he goes well i needed somewhere to park my bike
SHARINGAN_USER UCHIHA_ITACHI
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Once a young mas was asked in an interview ?Did
you ever meet any Railway accident?
The man replied: ?Yes, once the train was going
through a long tunnel I have kissed the father
instead of his daughter.?xd
you ever meet any Railway accident?
The man replied: ?Yes, once the train was going
through a long tunnel I have kissed the father
instead of his daughter.?xd