Episode 2. Life vs. Death. My Anime

[Angelsluv]

Hey there fellow NB users
I just recently finish my 2nd Ep. To my anime.
It's using the Sims 3 program so you can visually see what is happening. I am using the program because of the simple fact my drawing skills have gone down the drain, do to the fact I have not giving myself a chance to draw something.

Anyway, the way you will be able to read this will be as if you were reading a Naruto Manga page, Right to Left.
I've posted this on my facebook, but I'm posting it on here to get some kind of feedback.

Some of the parts may confuse you on who is speaking because of the program, I was unable to do the speaking bubbles. Please try to continue anyway.

So here we go.

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Just cover art.

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As we see the close up on Alonso faces, the cuts on his face from fighting are healing. Then we see Vera as cuts are seen not healing.

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The 2nd to last panel her arm is outstretched towards her brother. Last panel Alonso is being held in the air.

Thanks for reading, please leave a comment on telling what you think. I would love any kind of feedback, somewhat if it's hate feedback. I'm going to start to work on my 3rd Episode, but with work and everything I can't say when it will be completed.

Also if you want to read the 1st episode look up "rererepost Life vs. Death. or just my Username: Angelsluv

Thanks again, fellow NB users.

 

[Zombie]

Not to be mean or anything, but this is bad. Very bad.

 

[Angelsluv]

Not to be mean or anything, but this is bad. Very bad.

I'm just starting out. I've sent my writing script out to many anime publishers, just waiting to hear back from them.
But what is the very bad, explain.
Too add also this really isn't how my story starts off.

 

[Zombie]

I'm just starting out. I've sent my writing script out to many anime publishers, just waiting to hear back from them.
But what is the very bad, explain.
Too add also this really isn't how my story starts off.

I shouldn't have to strain my eyes to read a script that sucks and try to figure out what's going on in the panels that are all stretched to hell. Which is why I didn't read any of it.

 

[Angelsluv]

I shouldn't have to strain my eyes to read a script that sucks and try to figure out what's going on in the panels that are all stretched to hell. Which is why I didn't read any of it.

Thank you for explaining.

 

[Sublime]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/goto/post?id=10522986" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-10522986">Angelsluv said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent"> I'm just starting out. I've sent my writing script out to many anime publishers, just waiting to hear back from them. <br /> But what is the very bad, explain. <br /> Too add also this really isn't how my story starts off. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink"><a>Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Okay CnC time,<br /> -Don't get me wrong, but this is not a manga nor an anime (it couldn't be an anime anyway as anime means it's animated and this is just screencaps) so to begin with, don't think you are making a manga cause you're not. If you want to make a manga (or comic if you are not from Japan), it means you want to <u>draw</u> the comic panels. If you don't know how to draw or can't bother learning, try writing a book, comics are not for you.<br /> -One can make wonderful Sims stories, I've read quite a few in the past with really well worked environments and scenarios. This was just a generic environment, you hadn't even furnished some of the areas and there really wasn't anything great about it. <br /> -There is no need for you to stretch and shrink the pictures to fit manga panels, that looks very ugly, sorry. Just use screen caps and write a story. I'd suggest a normal story with narrating and such. And again, work on your characters environments.<br /> -Try not to make typos, I think I saw a few in there.<br /> <br /> I'll go and reread this and add to my critisism, these were all first impressions.<br /> You can reply to this, or wait for the edit.<br /> <br /> Edit: Okay, I can't get to read that, some pages are messed up, you got page 3 two times then jump to 6, feels like I've missed sth. Well basically the problem is the comic pages, I really don't like that but I can tell you have some idea of a scenario planned out in your head. I just don't like how you want to fit it in comic pages and call it a manga I guess. You know, there are some sims websites that host stories like that, maybe you should pay a visit to them?<br /> (also sorry I took ages to reply, something popped up so I'm busy atm....) :/</div>

 

[Angelsluv]

Okay CnC time,
-Don't get me wrong, but this is not a manga nor an anime (it couldn't be an anime anyway as anime means it's animated and this is just screencaps) so to begin with, don't think you are making a manga cause you're not. If you want to make a manga (or comic if you are not from Japan), it means you want to draw the comic panels. If you don't know how to draw or can't bother learning, try writing a book, comics are not for you.
-One can make wonderful Sims stories, I've read quite a few in the past with really well worked environments and scenarios. This was just a generic environment, you hadn't even furnished some of the areas and there really wasn't anything great about it.
-There is no need for you to stretch and shrink the pictures to fit manga panels, that looks very ugly, sorry. Just use screen caps and write a story. I'd suggest a normal story with narrating and such. And again, work on your characters environments.
-Try not to make typos, I think I saw a few in there.

I'll go and reread this and add to my critisism, these were all first impressions.
You can reply to this, or wait for the edit.

I'm writing the story out, I have it wrote out. I'm just doing this part for visual purposes. Yes I can can draw, my drawing just been sucky for the past 2 yrs on trying to get my life together. The screens, I'm making it as I go because of my PC is very old, and shuts down on me sometimes when I have very little running so I can't really save areas. So I have to go back a remake most of them.

I know it's not a Manga or a Comic book yet. I'm trying to get it viewed by who can help to make it better, such as if any publishers look at this site. I'm trying my best not to sit on my ass and read other people stuff and not use what I have in my own head to use and to be viewed by others.

And Thank you BTW.

Edit: Okay, I can't get to read that, some pages are messed up, you got page 3 two times then jump to 6, feels like I've missed sth. Well basically the problem is the comic pages, I really don't like that but I can tell you have some idea of a scenario planned out in your head. I just don't like how you want to fit it in comic pages and call it a manga I guess. You know, there are some sims websites that host stories like that, maybe you should pay a visit to them?
(also sorry I took ages to reply, something popped up so I'm busy atm....) :/[/QUOTE]

Yea the page numbers i didn't want them to show. the program has this add page feature and it saves page 5 for page 7 and so on.
Thank you for reading, and semi understanding it. And i never knew about a site for the sims to post things such as this type.
Thanks