Do you agree that there is a difference between discipline and abuse?

Lightbringer

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My friend has a child and he's never disciplined him before. He loves his son and spoils him rotten, but that's when kids get out of control. His kid actually has the nerve to talk back to him and he's only 5.

My other friend told me that he had to spank his niece for something bad she did. He said it was terrible and they're probably going to hate you for a while, but it's the only way for them to learn to behave when words fail.

When kids know there are no real consequence, they'll take advantage of that, that's when you need to spank them.
 
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Multiply

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In my family m parents believed in Physical Discipline. However, they never took it over the edge. It was jut something to make me think; why did I just receive that? So if the opportunity came to make the same mistake, I would remember the pain, and decide against it. When kids aren't disciplined enough, they start to not think of the consequences of their actions, and that's where you get some of the talking back, and reckless behavior.
 

~Sky~

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I don't know. I'm not a big fan of spanking but what else can you do? It's not like your kid has any sort of understanding between right or wrong. You have to teach that to him/her.

How do you do that? There isn't really a set way. I mean, I got beat as a kid and I'm perfectly fine today. My parents didn't "fail as parents," because of that.

I don't know where you expect to get with sitting a kid down and talking to them. I mean, they are kids after all. Just don't spoil your kids. Tell them no, make sure they understand at a young age that they can't have whatever they want. Then go from there.
 

Multiply

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I don't know. I'm not a big fan of spanking but what else can you do? It's not like your kid has any sort of understanding between right or wrong. You have to teach that to him/her.

How do you do that? There isn't really a set way. I mean, I got beat as a kid and I'm perfectly fine today. My parents didn't "fail as parents," because of that.

I don't know where you expect to get with sitting a kid down and talking to them. I mean, they are kids after all. Just don't spoil your kids. Tell them no, make sure they understand at a young age that they can't have whatever they want. Then go from there.
Exactly this. I don't believe my parents failed as parents because I'm fine too. It's not like they hit me at every damn chance they got, and it's not like they beat my ass to which I had bruises. It was simply something to put me back in line.
 

Tera Path

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Surprising you didn't run away.

Abuse creates vengeful people.
I actually appreciate all that my single mother has to go through to take care of her 2 sons.

For me, anyone who would run away from home is just a spoiled brat.

Besides, it's not like she beat the crap out of me every day or actually abused me on a regular basis, it would only happen maybe once a year.
 

Punk Hazard

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I don't know. I'm not a big fan of spanking but what else can you do? It's not like your kid has any sort of understanding between right or wrong. You have to teach that to him/her.

How do you do that? There isn't really a set way. I mean, I got beat as a kid and I'm perfectly fine today. My parents didn't "fail as parents," because of that.

I don't know where you expect to get with sitting a kid down and talking to them. I mean, they are kids after all. Just don't spoil your kids. Tell them no, make sure they understand at a young age that they can't have whatever they want. Then go from there.
I'm speaking from my personal experience really. My grandmother, when she raised me, talked things out with me. She explained to me why things were wrong before she ever resorted to hitting, and I responded far better to talking simply because when I got hit, it just built up negative feelings.

My father hit me, and it ruined our relationship, I never liked being around my dad and loved when he left for trips overseas because of his job or whatever. Not because it meant "I can do whatever I want now, I won't be hit", but because something inflicting any type of pain on me is something I naturally sought to avoid. Getting hit/spanked/whatever for things didn't make me think "Oh I'm going to stop doing it", it just made me want to find ways to not get caught. Like you said, kids aren't gonna be so keen to reasoning, not every kid is gonna say "That got me hit, I don' wanna get hit, I'm gonna stop doing it", but probably say "I just don't wanna get hit." Sometimes, spanking doesn't get across "What you did was wrong". That's why I personally find it better to sit your kid down and explain why what they did was wrong, and what they should do instead. I once got caught playing with matches, and my instead of spanking or hitting, my mom just explained to me flat out I could burned the house down and killed everyone inside, so I avoided playing with matches.

I've seen other kids who got spanked and just felt some sort of negative feeling towards who spanked them, and then when the feeling went away(they're kids after all), and then continue doing it by try harder not to be caught because they weren't actually told "This is wrong", they didn't fully understand that part.
 

Yurei

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not disagreeing with you, but what about taking the time to sit with the child and let them know why they received the punishment
I really don't get what you're saying.

You have a child, but don't have time to teach her right or wrong? I think that hitting the kid is the fast way out, but not the best.
 

King Kendrick

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ive had my fair share of beatings ( fair share meaning over 9000 ) But discipline is needed thats why i was never screwing girls at 12 or smashing windows with rocks ( or doing whatever ungrateful , rebellious kids do nowadays )
 

Princess Kaguya

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Although physical punishment is used by many parents, there has been no correlation found between it and behavior. A slap on the wrist is not harmful when the child is unable to understand words. Children need to understand that getting near something that is potentially dangerous should not be done. However, any form of physical punishment should cease once the parents can explain properly why doing something is wrong.
 

ShiroT

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I don't have kids, so I really don't know much about raising them, but I don't think spanking children is the way to go. I don't think you'll teach much to them through violence.

I think that putting the kid on a couch, and talking to them about what they did works far better.
you must not have been spanked if you dont know how spanking goes, or are susposed to go.

OT: yea there is a difference and i think spanking works if you dont do it to often, and if you do it correctly
 

Jin Hayami

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Nope. My old man whooped my ass all the time and I thank him for it. I was a wild kid and I got outta line all the time. I deserved it. When I got into my teenage years he made sure to remind my brother and I that he could still knock us out whenever we felt up to challenging him for the throne. I'll be raising my kids the same way.

Ages 1-4 light spanking. Basically a pat on the butt but preconditioning them to view it as a punishment.
Ages 5-7 spanking. Leave a red mark on their ass.
Ages 8-13 willow switch or belt. Kid better not bring one back with less than three knots on it.
Ages 13+ ass whooping. They challenge me they're gonna end up face down gasping for air or tapping out.
 

Tera Path

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Nope. My old man whooped my ass all the time and I thank him for it. I was a wild kid and I got outta line all the time. I deserved it. When I got into my teenage years he made sure to remind my brother and I that he could still knock us out whenever we felt up to challenging him for the throne. I'll be raising my kids the same way.

Ages 1-4 light spanking. Basically a pat on the butt but preconditioning them to view it as a punishment.
Ages 5-7 spanking. Leave a red mark on their ass.
Ages 8-13 willow switch or belt. Kid better not bring one back with less than three knots on it.
Ages 13+ ass whooping. They challenge me they're gonna end up face down gasping for air or tapping out.
I think that's a bit too much my friend.
 

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Well my dad used to hit/smack me quite a bit as a kid. But he never went overboard with it, and even though I didn't really enjoy it, I am kind of glad he did it as I turned out ok.
 

UchihaNagashi

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kids these days have no rspect they should be smacked until their teeth fall my mom and dad used to beat the shit out of me my dad threw me off a 8 storey building and i almost died my mum electrocuted me in the shower by shooting charges at me that were 100mw my granpa poisoned me so that i would hallucinate at nite

kids these day should be spanked hard af
 
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