[Discussion] Divorce and some things.

[Alaries]

Coming from a divorced woman with a kid. For a man to say he did nothing wrong? Maybe you didn't but you were not doing anything right either. For a marriage to work it takes both just like raising a child takes both. Before I continue my son has lived with both me and my ex at times. When he was living with me my ex paid child support and when he was living with my ex I paid child support. When the child was living equal between us both neither of us paid child support. But I the Mother of the child has paid for all his clothes, school supplies, and any other thing he needed, weather my son was living with me or not and when my son was living with me my ex says that is what he paid child support for. And when I was paying child support his answer when I ask for help was he cant. So if you love the child regardless of who is at fault (both) You both made this child and you should support it. If this child is going to be living with her most of the time (Because her expense to care for the child will be higher) then you need to step up as a father and a Man and support your child. Yes she needs to step up and be a woman and a Mother and get a job Because you cant support both of them if she is sitting on her but not doing anything. And what ever you do don't make your child suffer because you two could not make it work. Stop thinking your were innocent because everything takes two. And FYI I am the one who left him and he still says to this day he did nothing. Which is exactly why I left cause he did nothing!!!! But drank.

if the ex wife can't make enough money to feed her child without support how could she won custudy?

Because when a man takes a wife he agrees to support her and any children that may come for as long as they both shall live. When they made a decision that she would stay home and take care of the child it was an agreement between both parties that he would bare all the burden of supporting a family. Just because he chose to take on such a burden does not mean the child has to suffer. Most of the time the woman gets domiciliary parent because most woman are more caring then the father and tend to the child's needs. Not saying all men don't take care of their children but its a woman's nature to care for the child. There are some cases where the Mother is truly a dead beat and shouldn't have the child but still its hard to take them away from the mother. Prob. Purely due to the fact that a child comes from the mother and the bond the child has to the mother at young ages are hard to break and can damage a child even more then the mother will.

 

[EnDash]

Coming from a divorced woman with a kid. For a man to say he did nothing wrong? Maybe you didn't but you were not doing anything right either. For a marriage to work it takes both just like raising a child takes both. Before I continue my son has lived with both me and my ex at times. When he was living with me my ex paid child support and when he was living with my ex I paid child support. When the child was living equal between us both neither of us paid child support. But I the Mother of the child has paid for all his clothes, school supplies, and any other thing he needed, weather my son was living with me or not and when my son was living with me my ex says that is what he paid child support for. And when I was paying child support his answer when I ask for help was he cant. So if you love the child regardless of who is at fault (both) You both made this child and you should support it. If this child is going to be living with her most of the time (Because her expense to care for the child will be higher) then you need to step up as a father and a Man and support your child. Yes she needs to step up and be a woman and a Mother and get a job Because you cant support both of them if she is sitting on her but not doing anything. And what ever you do don't make your child suffer because you two could not make it work. Stop thinking your were innocent because everything takes two. And FYI I am the one who left him and he still says to this day he did nothing. Which is exactly why I left cause he did nothing!!!! But drank.



Because when a man takes a wife he agrees to support her and any children that may come for as long as they both shall live. When they made a decision that she would stay home and take care of the child it was an agreement between both parties that he would bare all the burden of supporting a family. Just because he chose to take on such a burden does not mean the child has to suffer. Most of the time the woman gets domiciliary parent because most woman are more caring then the father and tend to the child's needs. Not saying all men don't take care of their children but its a woman's nature to care for the child. There are some cases where the Mother is truly a dead beat and shouldn't have the child but still its hard to take them away from the mother. Prob. Purely due to the fact that a child comes from the mother and the bond the child has to the mother at young ages are hard to break and can damage a child even more then the mother will.

the case i was talking about was when the women can't support the child on her own so she must rely on support from the father. in that case i think it is more right that the father will get full custudy of the child. when you make a family and bring a child to the world relying on the father for to make a living for the family is wrong isn't it? as said it needs to be equal and it's wrong that only the father will pay support. i'm not saying that you shouldn't demand support because as you said he is also responsible for the child and should pay for his clothes and food and school and all of that. but i see a strong trend where it's the father who pays the bigger sum in child support, and when the father doesn't even get to see his son how is that right?

child support should be equal to both parents as much as possible, i can't say that it is this way enough times.

 

[Alaries]

the case i was talking about was when the women can't support the child on her own so she must rely on support from the father. in that case i think it is more right that the father will get full custudy of the child. when you make a family and bring a child to the world relying on the father for to make a living for the family is wrong isn't it? as said it needs to be equal and it's wrong that only the father will pay support. i'm not saying that you shouldn't demand support because as you said he is also responsible for the child and should pay for his clothes and food and school and all of that. but i see a strong trend where it's the father who pays the bigger sum in child support, and when the father doesn't even get to see his son how is that right?

child support should be equal to both parents as much as possible, i can't say that it is this way enough times.

Yes It should be equal, but nothing is ever equal. Most people see support as just money, but its way more then that. No one can say that each parent tends to a child equal in ever way. Say a child needs more hands on others do we punish the one that is unable to work because of this fact? Should one parent care for an child emotionally and the other don't? and the list can go on and on. The fact is there is more then just money that has to be in factor here.

And NO I do not believe any woman or man should live off another persons money even if there is/isn't children involved. And believe it or not when you go for child support it does look at the family as a whole. Say the 1 parent gets paid 100,000 and the 1 parent makes 50,000 then the income is 150,000 year say the child's gets 10% of the income then the 1 parent contributes 10,000 while the other contributes 5,000. With that said to say both contribute equally with money is like saying hey you haha I make double what you make and since I pay child support I get to spend all my money on me while you struggle to pay bills and feed our child. Same goes for the other way one will struggle to pay support while the other is still happy saying yay I get your money and get to keep mind. IS THAT FAIR?

 

[EnDash]

Yes It should be equal, but nothing is ever equal. Most people see support as just money, but its way more then that. No one can say that each parent tends to a child equal in ever way. Say a child needs more hands on others do we punish the one that is unable to work because of this fact? Should one parent care for an child emotionally and the other don't? and the list can go on and on. The fact is there is more then just money that has to be in factor here.

And NO I do not believe any woman or man should live off another persons money even if there is/isn't children involved. And believe it or not when you go for child support it does look at the family as a whole. Say the 1 parent gets paid 100,000 and the 1 parent makes 50,000 then the income is 150,000 year say the child's gets 10% of the income then the 1 parent contributes 10,000 while the other contributes 5,000. With that said to say both contribute equally with money is like saying hey you haha I make double what you make and since I pay child support I get to spend all my money on me while you struggle to pay bills and feed our child. Same goes for the other way one will struggle to pay support while the other is still happy saying yay I get your money and get to keep mind. IS THAT FAIR?

no it's not fair. and thats what i'm trying to say lol. the optimal and desirable case is where both parents get to spend time with their child and both parents pay equally for his needs. but even getting close enough to that is so rare i never saw it happen. the absolute majority of cases end where one side "loses" and the other "wins". it's not only about the money but it's the same with other cases, the man sometimes get full custudy on the child even thought the mother is perfecly fine and is even more qualified to care for the child then the man. and sometimes the mother get full custudy over the child even thought she is unable to care for him on her own and have to rely on child support. rarely it ends with both parents spending time with the kid and support the kid equally.

 

[l Forgotten l]

Men should pay, women should get a job, if they don't have one.
The end.
Why not help support your kid though, regardless of your "innocence".