Defying Fate I

Nikkou Arashi

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Very nice. Good twist on the canon characters. I like how you use the colors for different people, too.

Some good descriptive words in there would really add some atmosphere and draw the reader in. It sometimes seems like the characters are just standing on a blank sheet of paper.

Overall 3/5
Right, I know..LOL! I've laid off a little with the details actually. Though, I've had loads of them with the previous 14 chapters. Usually ends up with more or less 2000 words and becomes really lengthy to read already. Also, I'm in a hurry to finish this up and go off somewhere else.^^
 
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Michael92

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Thanks. The entire plot's all done as I've mentioned before so, it's not that hard to pick it up from where I leave it.:D

I made some notes regarding the Time Line.:? You skipped reading it, probably.:p Naruto's Rasenshuriken and Sage Mode; did I put that in one of the prev chaps as a note/comment/reply or did I just mention it you? The story's long overdue though, and the time line where it has to finish is quite left out already so, I have to change it.

The previous chapters does not have a thing to do with whatever Time Line it is on though. Not until these ending chaps. So, I have to change that. You'll find out why in the next chap.:D


Next Chapter already posted:

Well I think it has something to do with the thing you posted on 11;

"Okay, the setting happens within the Naruto Shippuden era so yeps, I preferred to stick within the characters existing techniques as much as possible. Like Naruto and Yamato's wind and water vortex combo"

And I'm sure you followed up by saying that it was before Naruto learned Sage mode and before Jiraiya's death, so Naruto couldn't throw the shuriken yet, but oh well:p

I'll check the next chapter once I get some time;)
 

Nikkou Arashi

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Well I think it has something to do with the thing you posted on 11;

"Okay, the setting happens within the Naruto Shippuden era so yeps, I preferred to stick within the characters existing techniques as much as possible. Like Naruto and Yamato's wind and water vortex combo"

And I'm sure you followed up by saying that it was before Naruto learned Sage mode and before Jiraiya's death, so Naruto couldn't throw the shuriken yet, but oh well:p

I'll check the next chapter once I get some time;)
Hmm, I see. well, anywayz, that was what the Time Line note above is for.:D And as I didn't involve anything about the previous Time Line in the previous chapters, I guess its okay to move it to a recent time.:p
 

Kuroi Honoo

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First off, let me just say that I have finally caught up to the second part of your Fanfiction!!! It took me a long while but I am somewhat up to date ^.^ This chapter was phenomenal and I was able to get that confusion I had in an earlier chapter cleared. I enjoyed it from start to finish. You may have had a hiatus. Although, you came back stronger than ever! ;) I loved the part where Sai saved Sakura! ^.^ I’m going to guess that the one who pierced Naruto was Arashi but I could be wrong. The ending of this story is becoming more and more fierce and I cannot wait for the next one!​
 

Nikkou Arashi

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First off, let me just say that I have finally caught up to the second part of your Fanfiction!!! It took me a long while but I am somewhat up to date ^.^ This chapter was phenomenal and I was able to get that confusion I had in an earlier chapter cleared. I enjoyed it from start to finish. You may have had a hiatus. Although, you came back stronger than ever! ;) I loved the part where Sai saved Sakura! ^.^ I’m going to guess that the one who pierced Naruto was Arashi but I could be wrong. The ending of this story is becoming more and more fierce and I cannot wait for the next one!​
Hehe, it seems that I got you lost with the last part.:) But, you'll find your back with DFII.:D
 
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