Daniel Guardian of the Realms Characters

[8Hokage]

Jehsok is bully to skinny, Fat and special need person.

 

[Shinsuke]

So....You've got lots of facts and statistics for characters, even a language which is outstanding attention to detail.

But, wheres the actual story? Another thing is where's the development on the characters? Take Daniel for example. I know his height, weight, occupation and complete educational history....but there's only two sentences for his personality? That needs to be more fleshed out, for its his character traits that will dictate his choices, his beliefs, what he says, what he does and why. Those are the kind of things that make us understand a character and form an emotional bond with them, not the stats behind them.

Thats not to say to get rid of the statistics, as they're useful for imagining the characters appearance, but I'd focus more on the personality side if I were you.

 

[8Hokage]

So....You've got lots of facts and statistics for characters, even a language which is outstanding attention to detail.

But, wheres the actual story? Another thing is where's the development on the characters? Take Daniel for example. I know his height, weight, occupation and complete educational history....but there's only two sentences for his personality? That needs to be more fleshed out, for its his character traits that will dictate his choices, his beliefs, what he says, what he does and why. Those are the kind of things that make us understand a character and form an emotional bond with them, not the stats behind them.

That not to say to get rid of the statistics, as they're useful for imagining the characters appearance, but I'd focus more on the personality side if I were you.

Daniel emotional person and out wit his bullies most of the time. his beliefs are similar to a Christian point of view. Alpha King his his god. He has dry-skin and danduff. He dictate think first but other times he take action. He's lover but he's gentleman fighter but he already some moves to disarmed a person. He's a vision person who only learn what he sees. He'll be tempt with the sins. Like a normal christians does go threw.

Side note: Don't worry I'm not making the gays the villains. It would be Misunderstanding type deal.

The other characters I don't know what do with.

 

[Shinsuke]

Side note: Don't worry I'm not making the gays the villains. It would be Misunderstanding type deal.

Gay people being villains? I'm not sure where that came from? :erm:


Anywho, thats better, some of that is useful in understanding the character.
-He's the emotional type: So he wears his heart on his sleeve, he thinks with his heart, not with his head.
-His Belief system is similar to a practising Christian: That's also something useful. It means he has some sort of moral code he lives by. One thats easily recognisable and identifiable too. It could also throw up an interesting dynamic when these dimensions start to appear, meaning his beliefs and faith are challenged by these things.
-He's gentle natured, but can fight when needed.

But you don't know for any other characters? It seems the approach to the story and the characters is oddly unbalanced. There's so many details about Daniel and not much for anyone else? I might be better to spend a bit of time coming up with a supporting cast and compelling antagonists. You could even use common character tropes, but add a small twist to them. This would help flesh out the cast.

Also, is there a chapter of the story released yet?

 

[8Hokage]

So....You've got lots of facts and statistics for characters, even a language which is outstanding attention to detail.

But, wheres the actual story? Another thing is where's the development on the characters? Take Daniel for example. I know his height, weight, occupation and complete educational history....but there's only two sentences for his personality? That needs to be more fleshed out, for its his character traits that will dictate his choices, his beliefs, what he says, what he does and why. Those are the kind of things that make us understand a character and form an emotional bond with them, not the stats behind them.

Thats not to say to get rid of the statistics, as they're useful for imagining the characters appearance, but I'd focus more on the personality side if I were you.

Daniel Den's personal traits:

creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, doesn't support marijuana legalization, focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying in his room or far away from others, he is competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with himself and he's a christian type character. He's a gentlemen to both men and women. He also is kinda to kids.

 

[8Hokage]

Also, is there a chapter of the story released yet?

Nope yet. I'm still in the begin stages.

But you don't know for any other characters? It seems the approach to the story and the characters is oddly unbalanced. There's so many details about Daniel and not much for anyone else? I might be better to spend a bit of time coming up with a supporting cast and compelling antagonists. You could even use common character tropes, but add a small twist to them. This would help flesh out the cast.

Avril Danette is a fan girl like how Sakura was with Sasuke but then she got over it. When she meets Daniel Den at first. She judge him by his looks of him and cause he isn't strong like Chuyne Dawmpy who acts like Sasuke the Avenger. Chuyne Dawmpy have white hair not because he's old. He's a bully to both Avril and Daniel.

 

[8Hokage]

Chaki is the energy that opens the realms portal unless you are a Supernatural like a god or anything like that powerful. Banville is the strongest Chaki in the 8th Realm. Earth has less chaki. Chaki is a mixture of both Ki from DBZ and Chakra from Naruto.

I'm not sure what moves should I call Banvilians' powers. You guys could help me. give them some superpowers. I can't think of any.

 

[8Hokage]

Gay people being villains? I'm not sure where that came from? :erm:


Anywho, thats better, some of that is useful in understanding the character.
-He's the emotional type: So he wears his heart on his sleeve, he thinks with his heart, not with his head.
-His Belief system is similar to a practising Christian: That's also something useful. It means he has some sort of moral code he lives by. One thats easily recognisable and identifiable too. It could also throw up an interesting dynamic when these dimensions start to appear, meaning his beliefs and faith are challenged by these things.
-He's gentle natured, but can fight when needed.

But you don't know for any other characters? It seems the approach to the story and the characters is oddly unbalanced. There's so many details about Daniel and not much for anyone else? I might be better to spend a bit of time coming up with a supporting cast and compelling antagonists. You could even use common character tropes, but add a small twist to them. This would help flesh out the cast.

Also, is there a chapter of the story released yet?

Also I'm trying to recreated America's history but this time Demons and Alienkies are the ones that are in control of all of the world. Then.

B.A. means before the the Alienkies invasion.
A.D. means after Dimension Guardian.

But the Daniel's and Avril's great great children would be like. They don't know about the Old world that Daniel and Avril had knew about.

 

[8Hokage]

This what my main character would look like if he was Naruto fan:

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I asked artist to draw me in Naruto format. The thing wrong is that I'm right handed. So that's my main character.

Her name is Eldanis. She have DA account.

 

[8Hokage]

Hamilton, Ohio:

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[8Hokage]

Oturan Hyumaki is hypocrite

Arukas Chiarun abusive lover. (Her knowledge and inner power.)

Atanih Hyumaki is perverted stalker who married her stalkee cause of his mind wiped. (Can see through things with her x-ray type vision.)

Ekusas Chiarun (Copied movements like Taskmaster of Marvel.)


Soi Ian (Mind control, obsessed with boys and fashion police of sorts.)

 

[8Hokage]

The Ranking system of Planet Banville's government:
Emperor
Pharaoh
King & Queen
Prince & Princess
President
Vice President
Kage
Head Warlord
Head General
Military Chief
Commander
2nd Commander
Lieutenant General
Colonel
Sergeant
Corporal
Chief of Police
Assistant Chief
Deputy Chief
Colonel
Major
Captain
Leader
Inspector
Private
Soldier
Border Patrol
Trainer
Deal With it Gang.
Recruiter
Recruit

 

[8Hokage]

Otu'ran Hyumaki (Husband) and Ata'nih Hyumaki (Wife)
Eku'sas Chiarun (Husband) and Aru'kas Chiarun (Wife)
Ian Shimanaka (Husband) and Soi Shimanaka (Wife)
Aru'oji Michiaki (Husband) and Cha'rui Michiaki (Wife)


Eku'sas Chiarun (Pink hair & Green Eyes) He can only copy movements and fighting styles but can't copied powers.
Aru'kas Chiarun ( Pink eyes and Black hair .She has the abilities or powers of Internal Bodily Cleansing and Disease Detection.)
Ata'nih Hyumaki ( Blonde hair and orange eyes. she's blind but she has x-ray vision)
Otu'ran Hyumaki (Purple eyes and blue hair.)
Soi Shimanaka (She can go into people's mind.)
Ian Shimanaka (He can creation by drawing or painting.)
Hata'shi Kakake (Lighting Manipulation)
Yamzo Tenato (Nature Manipulation)
Teu Mermi (Boil, Fire & Lava Manipulation)
Aru'oji Michiaki (Become giant and he can shrink.)
Cha'rui Michiaki (Water Manipulation)
Huki Yaku (Ice and Snow Manipulation)

 

[8Hokage]

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Name: Daniel Den
Age: 30
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 119.8 lbs.
Body-type: Natural Skinny
Hair color: Darkish brown (people argue about it. Dark brown or black.)
Eye color: Rich dark chocolate
Skin: Peach
Race: Human
Realm: 8th realm
Nation: USA
State: Ohio
Work place: Grubb Gaming Extreme Entertainment
School: Brown Elementary School (K-1-2) > Marie Elementary School (3) > Return to Brown Elementary School (4) > Weavers Elementary School (5) > Collins Middle School (6-7-8) > Collins High School (9-10-11-12)

Personality:
INFJ. He's witty. He's shy around girls he likes specially when the girls talk about ***.
creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, doesn't support marijuana legalization, he focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying in his room or far away from others, he is competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with himself and he's a christian type character. He's a gentlemen to both men and women. He also is kinda to kids.

Likes: helping Kids, dress up for halloween & for kids' church as well. Helping others, teaching kids strategy games (Like Battle Ship, Chess, Checkers and etc.) , Playing video games as well, writing stories, poems and songs but he's not a good singer at all.

Want to learn: Ballroom Dancing and harp lessons.

He's the only guy at church that wants to learn how to ballroom dance.
Doesn't know how to swim.

Dislikes:
deep waters (due to him almost drowning in his Aunt Nallas's swimming pool but Jeune saved him.)
Heights.


Hatred towards:
Women Abusers
Kid abusers
Animal abusers.
Illegals
Sexual Predators
Terrorists


Pet Peeves:
People who leaves shopping karts in a car parking space.
People who isn't handicap park in a handicap spot.
People who taking up more than one Parking space.

Quotes:

"I'd came to realized those who said that I'm handsome are family and friends. When I'd heard a girl tells me that I'm good looking or some thing along the lines of that. I'd automatically put her in a The girl that just wants to be friends and on the list of non-possible Girlfriends."

"Chivalry isn't dead until the World's Last Gentlemen is."

“You can't out cunning us or trick us.”
"Eternity Waits for no one!"

 

[8Hokage]

The Crow: He has Tremendous reflexes through sound.... blind character capable of whooping butt. He has tattoo on each shoulder of a White Crow. He's the one who'll teacher Daniel Den how to kick butt.


More characters:
Shshi Sko (Get out here.) He's grumpy old man all the time.
Ron Doumade (Who hates couples.) He's 24 year old.
Hiro Speth (hypocrite Corrupt Leader)
Watrtal Dooch Immg (He's a dog that it thinks he's immortal.)
Nojo Jono ( Corrupt Mean Elder)
Lilinata Gili (Who causes chaos and Scavenger and bullies style of attacks random people.)
Ryh Seye (hypocrite Corrupt Rank Officer)
Hatashi Yamake Kakato (He'll Assassin knows Medical. Who teaches Avril Danette.)
Jeh Sok (Corrupt Captain)

 

[8Hokage]

Before the Storm was banned. Can some one help with my story?

Just fix my errors??