[Other] Chocolate

Waindo · Feb 1, 2015

Poem request by Hildergarde.

Orgasmic and creamy,
So smooth and sweet.
Otherworldly flavor,
Such a treat.

Found in ice creams, milk,
And candy bars;
Take one bite,
And reach the stars.

Oh chocolate how I
Love you so;
Stick with me.
Don't ever go.

I'm hooked on chocolate,
It does my body right.
I could kiss on it all day;
And suck it all night.

I worship the way it tastes,
And how it melts between my lips.
It makes me feel so freaking good;
I can feel it in my hips.

I can drink it hot,
When hot, it is the best.
I'm a theobromine addict;
And I'm not ashamed to confess.

I love it when it's hard,
Which means that its longer lasting;
I almost decided to quit,
Than I almost died from fasting.

Desiigner · Feb 1, 2015

Waindo said:
Poem request by Hildergarde.

Found in ice creams, milk,
And candy bars;
Take one bite,
You'll reach the stars.

Awesome poem, but I have a suggestion for you.

I don't know much about poems, but if you ask me something misses in this part:

"Found in ice creams, milk,
and candy bars;
take one bite
and you'll reach the stars."

Or:

"Found in ice creams, milk,
and candy bars;
Come on, take a bite(!)
You'll reach the stars"

Idk it would sound better like that imo, but again, I have no clue how you write these things, so I'd still rate it 9,9/10 Lol.

Waindo · Feb 1, 2015

Zeeo said:
Awesome poem, but I have a suggestion for you.

I don't know much about poems, but if you ask me something misses in this part:

"Found in ice creams, milk,
and candy bars;
take one bite
and you'll reach the stars."

Or:

"Found in ice creams, milk,
and candy bars;
Come on, take a bite(!)
You'll reach the stars"

Idk it would sound better like that imo, but again, I have no clue how you write these things, so I'd still rate it 9,9/10 Lol.