Chapter 6 :
How a Brother Loves-
What I really mean to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way I am,
I never meant to be so cold to you-"Cold"-Crossfade
It had taken forever for Itachi to convince his mother he was all right now. She'd finally gone out to make her customary social calls, and Itachi breathed a sigh of relief as she left. He'd said he was going to rest, maybe even go back to sleep. His mother had been pleased by that suggestion. Rest was good for the ailing, even when one didn't know the ailment. Itachi's topple at breakfast had both his parents worried again. They didn't know what had caused it. Itachi did.
Itachi went to the garden, and started going through kata. He knew why he'd fallen over at breakfast, and he didn't like it. It showed him the other was still around, and it wasn't fading like Itachi thought it should be doing if it were just some strange remnant from a nightmare. It also showed Itachi he wasn't as good at holding the other back as he'd thought. He was beginning to think the other was only pushed back because it let itself be pushed back.
Still an 'it', am I?
Itachi ignored the soft thought and went through the mindless motions. The other had been talking to Itachi all morning, and Itachi hadn't realized it at first. He hadn't pegged the thoughts as instantly not his own, and that made Itachi think. How much control did he really have over the other? Did he only have what control he did because the other let him have it? Was the other trying to drag Itachi into a sense of false security before the other took over?
Itachi's pattern stuttered as he got a phantom feeling his legs should be longer. He scowled and went on, movements smooth once more. His head was pounding a little, but he ignored it. The air was sweet with the smell of blossoms, and the sun was shining down. This was right. This was good. This was home and where he belonged. This was where he'd always belong.
No, blood, death, carnage, and betrayal would pull him away. He would never be welcome here again. He would never want to come back. He would live in torment and hellish conviction of what he had done. He would cry himself to sleep, choking on regret and trying so hard not to let anyone hear the awful noises he made.
Itachi snarled and shoved the other away. It went, but Itachi knew it went because it wanted to. Itachi didn't have much if any control over it. He was fighting a losing battle over this thing that wanted his parents dead. He was going to end up blood-covered with corpses piled at his feet, and Sasuke screaming hate at him. What a terrible, terrible thing to look forward to.
Except he wasn't fighting. Itachi felt the air move past him as his movements sped up. He frowned to himself and let the motions carry him away. He wasn't fighting the other, he was running away. He was scared of the other, and the things it showed him. He was terrified, deep down in some part of himself he tried to deny-the part that woke up screaming and crying from nightmares in the middle of the night and wanted to go find someone to sleep with just so he would know he wasn't alone. Itachi was just ignoring the other, and that wasn't working. He was going to have to fight if he wanted to subdue the other.
That would be hard. The other was strong. It was filled with things Itachi didn't understand and didn't want to know. He just wanted to run and hide and ignore the other. He didn't want to face the images and thoughts he knew the other held. He didn't want to see himself drowning Shisui. He didn't want to see his parents dead. He didn't want to see Sasuke hating and killing him.
He didn't want to, but he would have to. How did he go about subduing the other, though? What would he have to do? What would it take?
You think you even have a chance of that?
The other slipped around Itachi, pressing on his thoughts and Itachi could feel phantom fingers prying into his brain. He could feel something that wasn't him slipping into his skin, sliding him out of control like one would pull a kitten away from something. Itachi hung helpless and gave a mental shout of rage at the other. He was ignored.
Itachi's steps faltered again, and suddenly his balance left him. His legs were too short.. His movements weren't right, but they were. He knew they were, but that didn't stop him from falling for the second time that morning. He felt the other's shock and surprise, and then Itachi's head struck one of the ornamental rocks littering the garden.
He lay on the ground stunned for a few seconds, and then tried to pull himself up. He almost fell back down. Something insisted his body was too small and frail. It should be bigger. His arms should reach farther. He should have to go farther up to be standing. This wasn't right.
It was, Itachi insisted. This was his body. Thirteen and small. He was still growing. He'd be bigger one day, but not before then. For now he was small, but that meant little. He was still a competent ninja, no matter what his size. He was still strong. Itachi slowly pulled himself up, a little dizzy. He stood in the garden and breathed slowly, centering himself and found the other had retreated for now, bewildered and in pain.
Itachi was in pain too. His head was throbbing where it had struck the rock, and he felt sickly dizzy. He grimaced and slowly tottered back to the porch to sit down. The wood was sun warmed. Itachi turned his face up to the sky and breathed out slowly. This was his body, and he wasn't going to let the other have it. He would be the one in control. He had to be.
Itachi cocked his head to the side. Someone was knocking. Itachi slowly pulled himself up and wondered who it was. If it were Mikoto, the only reason she'd knock would be that her hands were full. Itachi carefully padded through the house, wary of his now aching head. He fingered the growing knot on the back of his head as he approached the door. It was tender to the touch, but the skin wasn't broken.
Itachi pulled the door open and found Iruka standing there, Sasuke piggy backed. Iruka turned his beaming smile on Itachi and slowly let Sasuke slide down to the ground.
"Hello, Itachi!" Iruka greeted. Itachi looked from Iruka to Sasuke, a frown forming on his face.
"What's wrong?" Itachi asked Iruka, but his eyes were on Sasuke. He didn't see any obvious injuries on the boy, so had he gotten in trouble?
"Sasuke-kun had a stomach ache, so we decided it would be best if he came home," Iruka explained, dropping a hand to Sasuke's head.
"Ah," Itachi felt tension drain out of him. If that was all... "Thank you for bringing him home, Iruka. Would you care for a drink?" It was hot outside, and if Iruka had carried Sasuke all the way from the Academy, then it was only polite to offer some refreshment.
"Ah, that would be nice," Iruka admitted. "But I can't stay long. I have to get back to the Academy."
Itachi nodded and looked down to his little brother."Sasuke, go put your things in your room."
Sasuke glanced between his brother and teacher. He did look paler than usual, and there was something strained about his face. Sasuke nodded slowly and kicked off his shoes. He walked gingerly past his brothers, and Itachi let a gentle hand touch his brother on the head before focusing on Iruka again.
"Please follow me," Itachi bowed and motioned towards the kitchen. He led Iruka in, and listened to the man's heavier footfalls. The two were friends of a sort, having been Genin together for a few years. Iruka had been a Genin much longer than Itachi, but the Uchiha had graduated at an odd time, and been stuck with some older Genin. Iruka had tried to watch out for the diminutive Uchiha, who had often gotten himself into trouble due to his small size. There was a large difference in size between an eight year-old and a thirteen year-old boy, and while skill could make up for that difference in most cases, sometimes it wasn't enough.
Itachi pulled a cup from the cabinet and put some ice in it before filling it with water. Water was best on days like this, and Iruka would appreciate water more than anything else. Itachi handed the cup over, and Iruka's calloused hand brushed against Itachi's smaller one. Itachi pulled his hand back and leaned against the counter. He looked up at Iruka, who was regarding him with friendly eyes.
Iruka took a sip and made a pleased noise. "So, Sasuke said you're sick. You don't look very sick, but you are off mission duty for the next week." Iruka took another sip.
"Chakra exhaustion," Itachi replied shortly. Iruka, for all he was only a Chuunin, he could be counted on to know almost everything. How he did that, Itachi would never know, but Iruka was on top of all the latest in Konoha ninja gossip.
"Yeah, right," Iruka looked at Itachi, and the light from the kitchen window gleamed off his dark eyes, growing blue around the black pupils. "I know you Itachi, and I never saw you with chakra exhaustion when we were Genin. I somehow doubt you'd run into it as a Jounin."
Itachi gave an eloquent shrug. "Believe what you want." Itachi didn't think it was chakra exhaustion either, but it was something.
"Mmm," Iruka took a long drink and gave Itachi a smile. "Common rumor says something's up besides you being sick."
Itachi let his eyes sink half closed. "Common rumor twists the truth. I am sick." Itachi lowered his voice and gingerly felt the knot on the back of his head. "My balance is off. I fell over doing kata just before you got here. That is not something I normally do."
Iruka looked surprised. "I hope not. Really? You fell down? Let me see. Did it leave a bump? How long ago?" Iruka set his glass down and reached out his brown hands. He paused and cocked his head to the side. "May I?"
Itachi nodded. Iruka reached out and prodded the back of Itachi's head, feeling the growing lump gently. He pulled his hands back a little, and Itachi could almost feel them going through signs behind his head. Iruka's hands touched the back of Itachi head again, and the throbbing pain lessened and slowly vanished. Itachi gave a soft sigh of relief, and Iruka stepped back, hand coming back to his cup, which was almost empty.
"Thank you," Itachi gave Iruka a small bow.
"Anytime," Iruka drank the last of his water. "Now, I have to head back. Will you two sickies be okay alone?" Iruka asked, a teasing grin pulling at his lips.
Itachi's face deadpanned. Iruka could be annoying when he wanted to be. "My mother will be home soon. I think we can manage until she returns."
"Excellent!" Iruka clapped his hands and Itachi escorted him back to the door. "I hope Sasuke's well enough to come back to class tomorrow. He's really our best student, but that's not surprising, considering where he's coming from."
Sasuke isn't anything like me. Don't say that. Don't compare him to me. He'll never be me.
"He's an Uchiha, of course he does well," Itachi responded, ignoring the other. Obviously, Sasuke was no genius. Everyone knew that.
Iruka slipped his shoes back on and gave Itachi a puzzled look. "I meant he's your brother, and he's got you to learn from. Uchiha or no, you're a genius, Itachi, and Sasuke is learning from you as much as anyone else. It's a good thing he is too. These kids need all the extra help they can get to survive being a ninja."
"I-" Itachi felt his face suddenly flush, but with shame, not pride. When was the last time he'd helped Sasuke with anything? How long had it been? Could something he'd neglected to teach his brother get Sasuke killed one day? "Thank you."
Iruka grinned and laughed, wild and free. Itachi looked at him, and for a moment, he wished he wasn't an Uchiha. He wished he was a ninja like Iruka, with no greater concern than his own welfare. He wished he didn't have a fan on his back and a point to prove to everyone he met. Then, he remembered Sasuke, his family, the over whelming support of knowing he had a whole clan backing him. That meant more to him than freedom, and it was worth everything just to have them.
"Don't mention it!" Iruka gave Itachi a sloppy salute and a wave. "See you around, Itachi!"
"Aa," Itachi gave a half wave in return and watched Iruka leave. He stood for a moment, just looking at the door. He dropped his hand and curled his hands into fists, eyes dropping closed. He felt the other stir sluggishly. Itachi took a deep breath and turned around, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked and took a hurried step back. Sasuke was standing there, huge black eyes, pale face, and dark marks under his eyes.
Itachi felt a note of worry resound in his chest. He leaned down and placed a hand on Sasuke's forehead, pushing the boy's bangs up and away from his face. He frowned a little, and Sasuke looked down, biting his lip.
"How bad do you feel?" Itachi asked. Sasuke's forehead was warm, but Itachi's hands were always cold. It was hard for him to tell if his little brother had a fever.
Sasuke shrugged. "I dunno. Bad."
Itachi frowned and pulled his hand back. He hated it when Sasuke sulked. It was annoying. "That was very informative Sasuke, thank you." Itachi straightened up and walked past Sasuke, intending to go back out to the garden. If Sasuke wanted to be sulky and petulant, Itachi didn't want to deal with him.
Do not leave him there. You turn around and ask him what's wrong.
Itachi's footsteps faltered. For a moment he felt like a child under the chastisement of an adult for a very foolish act. His earlier chagrin at Iruka's words flooded back, and he realized he was doing it again. He was ignoring Sasuke because he felt he had better things to do. Sasuke was eight. He was going to be annoying and petulant, and Itachi shouldn't just walk away from his little brother because of that.
They were brothers, bound by blood and so much more.
"Sasuke." Itachi turned back around. Sasuke's back was to him, and Itachi could see the tension in his brother's back and shoulders clearly. Itachi gave a tiny sigh, and went down on his knees. He turned his brother around with a tug on his shirt, and looked up into the little boy's face. For a moment it was overlaid with one that was more angular, and those sulky eyes were bright with a maniac hate that made Itachi's heart freeze.
"Sasuke, what's really wrong?" Itachi asked softly, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. Sasuke's shoulders were tiny, just bone underneath the cloth. He was so tiny, just a child. Sasuke met his brother's gaze, and Itachi let his expression soften. He squeezed Sasuke's tiny shoulders, and for a moment he felt something he hadn't even known had been there give way.
Sasuke took a breath, and it shook. He looked at his brother and his mouth moved. He blinked and closed his eyes, taking a few more breaths. Sasuke opened his eyes again, and this time he managed words. "Are you going to die?"
Itachi blinked. His mouth fell slack in shock, and he gave Sasuke an incredulous look. He saw Sasuke's lip tremble, and the over-bright look in his brother's eye. Itachi shook his head. "No, Sasuke, I'm not. I'm just...just a little sick. I'll be okay."
Sasuke nodded, and he blinked. Itachi thought for a moment Sasuke would be okay. He thought the boy might walk away, and go do his schoolwork or something. How ridiculous it was for him to think that Itachi might be dying. Where had he gotten an idea like that?
Sasuke looked at Itachi, and for a moment Itachi almost reached out to hug Sasuke, tear bright and trembling with his made up fears. He really was just a kid, and even though Itachi could remember being eight, he'd never been like Sasuke. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
The door opened and Mikoto walked in. She was visibly surprised to see both her sons home. Itachi dropped his arms, and Sasuke turned to look at his mother. She took in Sasuke's expression and softly swooped in with motherly concern, asking Sasuke what was wrong, why he was home, and everything she should. She gave him a hug and told him to go lie down, maybe he'd feel better. She would make him some soup in the mean time.
Itachi watched from the floor, feeling suddenly small and isolated. He felt like an outsider, staring at his mother and his brother, especially after the questioning look his mother gave him as she left for the kitchen. What had he done for Sasuke, she wanted to know. Itachi looked at his cold hands in his laps and knew exactly what he'd done to Sasuke.
He'd done nothing.
Enjoy
How a Brother Loves-
What I really mean to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way I am,
I never meant to be so cold to you-"Cold"-Crossfade
It had taken forever for Itachi to convince his mother he was all right now. She'd finally gone out to make her customary social calls, and Itachi breathed a sigh of relief as she left. He'd said he was going to rest, maybe even go back to sleep. His mother had been pleased by that suggestion. Rest was good for the ailing, even when one didn't know the ailment. Itachi's topple at breakfast had both his parents worried again. They didn't know what had caused it. Itachi did.
Itachi went to the garden, and started going through kata. He knew why he'd fallen over at breakfast, and he didn't like it. It showed him the other was still around, and it wasn't fading like Itachi thought it should be doing if it were just some strange remnant from a nightmare. It also showed Itachi he wasn't as good at holding the other back as he'd thought. He was beginning to think the other was only pushed back because it let itself be pushed back.
Still an 'it', am I?
Itachi ignored the soft thought and went through the mindless motions. The other had been talking to Itachi all morning, and Itachi hadn't realized it at first. He hadn't pegged the thoughts as instantly not his own, and that made Itachi think. How much control did he really have over the other? Did he only have what control he did because the other let him have it? Was the other trying to drag Itachi into a sense of false security before the other took over?
Itachi's pattern stuttered as he got a phantom feeling his legs should be longer. He scowled and went on, movements smooth once more. His head was pounding a little, but he ignored it. The air was sweet with the smell of blossoms, and the sun was shining down. This was right. This was good. This was home and where he belonged. This was where he'd always belong.
No, blood, death, carnage, and betrayal would pull him away. He would never be welcome here again. He would never want to come back. He would live in torment and hellish conviction of what he had done. He would cry himself to sleep, choking on regret and trying so hard not to let anyone hear the awful noises he made.
Itachi snarled and shoved the other away. It went, but Itachi knew it went because it wanted to. Itachi didn't have much if any control over it. He was fighting a losing battle over this thing that wanted his parents dead. He was going to end up blood-covered with corpses piled at his feet, and Sasuke screaming hate at him. What a terrible, terrible thing to look forward to.
Except he wasn't fighting. Itachi felt the air move past him as his movements sped up. He frowned to himself and let the motions carry him away. He wasn't fighting the other, he was running away. He was scared of the other, and the things it showed him. He was terrified, deep down in some part of himself he tried to deny-the part that woke up screaming and crying from nightmares in the middle of the night and wanted to go find someone to sleep with just so he would know he wasn't alone. Itachi was just ignoring the other, and that wasn't working. He was going to have to fight if he wanted to subdue the other.
That would be hard. The other was strong. It was filled with things Itachi didn't understand and didn't want to know. He just wanted to run and hide and ignore the other. He didn't want to face the images and thoughts he knew the other held. He didn't want to see himself drowning Shisui. He didn't want to see his parents dead. He didn't want to see Sasuke hating and killing him.
He didn't want to, but he would have to. How did he go about subduing the other, though? What would he have to do? What would it take?
You think you even have a chance of that?
The other slipped around Itachi, pressing on his thoughts and Itachi could feel phantom fingers prying into his brain. He could feel something that wasn't him slipping into his skin, sliding him out of control like one would pull a kitten away from something. Itachi hung helpless and gave a mental shout of rage at the other. He was ignored.
Itachi's steps faltered again, and suddenly his balance left him. His legs were too short.. His movements weren't right, but they were. He knew they were, but that didn't stop him from falling for the second time that morning. He felt the other's shock and surprise, and then Itachi's head struck one of the ornamental rocks littering the garden.
He lay on the ground stunned for a few seconds, and then tried to pull himself up. He almost fell back down. Something insisted his body was too small and frail. It should be bigger. His arms should reach farther. He should have to go farther up to be standing. This wasn't right.
It was, Itachi insisted. This was his body. Thirteen and small. He was still growing. He'd be bigger one day, but not before then. For now he was small, but that meant little. He was still a competent ninja, no matter what his size. He was still strong. Itachi slowly pulled himself up, a little dizzy. He stood in the garden and breathed slowly, centering himself and found the other had retreated for now, bewildered and in pain.
Itachi was in pain too. His head was throbbing where it had struck the rock, and he felt sickly dizzy. He grimaced and slowly tottered back to the porch to sit down. The wood was sun warmed. Itachi turned his face up to the sky and breathed out slowly. This was his body, and he wasn't going to let the other have it. He would be the one in control. He had to be.
Itachi cocked his head to the side. Someone was knocking. Itachi slowly pulled himself up and wondered who it was. If it were Mikoto, the only reason she'd knock would be that her hands were full. Itachi carefully padded through the house, wary of his now aching head. He fingered the growing knot on the back of his head as he approached the door. It was tender to the touch, but the skin wasn't broken.
Itachi pulled the door open and found Iruka standing there, Sasuke piggy backed. Iruka turned his beaming smile on Itachi and slowly let Sasuke slide down to the ground.
"Hello, Itachi!" Iruka greeted. Itachi looked from Iruka to Sasuke, a frown forming on his face.
"What's wrong?" Itachi asked Iruka, but his eyes were on Sasuke. He didn't see any obvious injuries on the boy, so had he gotten in trouble?
"Sasuke-kun had a stomach ache, so we decided it would be best if he came home," Iruka explained, dropping a hand to Sasuke's head.
"Ah," Itachi felt tension drain out of him. If that was all... "Thank you for bringing him home, Iruka. Would you care for a drink?" It was hot outside, and if Iruka had carried Sasuke all the way from the Academy, then it was only polite to offer some refreshment.
"Ah, that would be nice," Iruka admitted. "But I can't stay long. I have to get back to the Academy."
Itachi nodded and looked down to his little brother."Sasuke, go put your things in your room."
Sasuke glanced between his brother and teacher. He did look paler than usual, and there was something strained about his face. Sasuke nodded slowly and kicked off his shoes. He walked gingerly past his brothers, and Itachi let a gentle hand touch his brother on the head before focusing on Iruka again.
"Please follow me," Itachi bowed and motioned towards the kitchen. He led Iruka in, and listened to the man's heavier footfalls. The two were friends of a sort, having been Genin together for a few years. Iruka had been a Genin much longer than Itachi, but the Uchiha had graduated at an odd time, and been stuck with some older Genin. Iruka had tried to watch out for the diminutive Uchiha, who had often gotten himself into trouble due to his small size. There was a large difference in size between an eight year-old and a thirteen year-old boy, and while skill could make up for that difference in most cases, sometimes it wasn't enough.
Itachi pulled a cup from the cabinet and put some ice in it before filling it with water. Water was best on days like this, and Iruka would appreciate water more than anything else. Itachi handed the cup over, and Iruka's calloused hand brushed against Itachi's smaller one. Itachi pulled his hand back and leaned against the counter. He looked up at Iruka, who was regarding him with friendly eyes.
Iruka took a sip and made a pleased noise. "So, Sasuke said you're sick. You don't look very sick, but you are off mission duty for the next week." Iruka took another sip.
"Chakra exhaustion," Itachi replied shortly. Iruka, for all he was only a Chuunin, he could be counted on to know almost everything. How he did that, Itachi would never know, but Iruka was on top of all the latest in Konoha ninja gossip.
"Yeah, right," Iruka looked at Itachi, and the light from the kitchen window gleamed off his dark eyes, growing blue around the black pupils. "I know you Itachi, and I never saw you with chakra exhaustion when we were Genin. I somehow doubt you'd run into it as a Jounin."
Itachi gave an eloquent shrug. "Believe what you want." Itachi didn't think it was chakra exhaustion either, but it was something.
"Mmm," Iruka took a long drink and gave Itachi a smile. "Common rumor says something's up besides you being sick."
Itachi let his eyes sink half closed. "Common rumor twists the truth. I am sick." Itachi lowered his voice and gingerly felt the knot on the back of his head. "My balance is off. I fell over doing kata just before you got here. That is not something I normally do."
Iruka looked surprised. "I hope not. Really? You fell down? Let me see. Did it leave a bump? How long ago?" Iruka set his glass down and reached out his brown hands. He paused and cocked his head to the side. "May I?"
Itachi nodded. Iruka reached out and prodded the back of Itachi's head, feeling the growing lump gently. He pulled his hands back a little, and Itachi could almost feel them going through signs behind his head. Iruka's hands touched the back of Itachi head again, and the throbbing pain lessened and slowly vanished. Itachi gave a soft sigh of relief, and Iruka stepped back, hand coming back to his cup, which was almost empty.
"Thank you," Itachi gave Iruka a small bow.
"Anytime," Iruka drank the last of his water. "Now, I have to head back. Will you two sickies be okay alone?" Iruka asked, a teasing grin pulling at his lips.
Itachi's face deadpanned. Iruka could be annoying when he wanted to be. "My mother will be home soon. I think we can manage until she returns."
"Excellent!" Iruka clapped his hands and Itachi escorted him back to the door. "I hope Sasuke's well enough to come back to class tomorrow. He's really our best student, but that's not surprising, considering where he's coming from."
Sasuke isn't anything like me. Don't say that. Don't compare him to me. He'll never be me.
"He's an Uchiha, of course he does well," Itachi responded, ignoring the other. Obviously, Sasuke was no genius. Everyone knew that.
Iruka slipped his shoes back on and gave Itachi a puzzled look. "I meant he's your brother, and he's got you to learn from. Uchiha or no, you're a genius, Itachi, and Sasuke is learning from you as much as anyone else. It's a good thing he is too. These kids need all the extra help they can get to survive being a ninja."
"I-" Itachi felt his face suddenly flush, but with shame, not pride. When was the last time he'd helped Sasuke with anything? How long had it been? Could something he'd neglected to teach his brother get Sasuke killed one day? "Thank you."
Iruka grinned and laughed, wild and free. Itachi looked at him, and for a moment, he wished he wasn't an Uchiha. He wished he was a ninja like Iruka, with no greater concern than his own welfare. He wished he didn't have a fan on his back and a point to prove to everyone he met. Then, he remembered Sasuke, his family, the over whelming support of knowing he had a whole clan backing him. That meant more to him than freedom, and it was worth everything just to have them.
"Don't mention it!" Iruka gave Itachi a sloppy salute and a wave. "See you around, Itachi!"
"Aa," Itachi gave a half wave in return and watched Iruka leave. He stood for a moment, just looking at the door. He dropped his hand and curled his hands into fists, eyes dropping closed. He felt the other stir sluggishly. Itachi took a deep breath and turned around, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked and took a hurried step back. Sasuke was standing there, huge black eyes, pale face, and dark marks under his eyes.
Itachi felt a note of worry resound in his chest. He leaned down and placed a hand on Sasuke's forehead, pushing the boy's bangs up and away from his face. He frowned a little, and Sasuke looked down, biting his lip.
"How bad do you feel?" Itachi asked. Sasuke's forehead was warm, but Itachi's hands were always cold. It was hard for him to tell if his little brother had a fever.
Sasuke shrugged. "I dunno. Bad."
Itachi frowned and pulled his hand back. He hated it when Sasuke sulked. It was annoying. "That was very informative Sasuke, thank you." Itachi straightened up and walked past Sasuke, intending to go back out to the garden. If Sasuke wanted to be sulky and petulant, Itachi didn't want to deal with him.
Do not leave him there. You turn around and ask him what's wrong.
Itachi's footsteps faltered. For a moment he felt like a child under the chastisement of an adult for a very foolish act. His earlier chagrin at Iruka's words flooded back, and he realized he was doing it again. He was ignoring Sasuke because he felt he had better things to do. Sasuke was eight. He was going to be annoying and petulant, and Itachi shouldn't just walk away from his little brother because of that.
They were brothers, bound by blood and so much more.
"Sasuke." Itachi turned back around. Sasuke's back was to him, and Itachi could see the tension in his brother's back and shoulders clearly. Itachi gave a tiny sigh, and went down on his knees. He turned his brother around with a tug on his shirt, and looked up into the little boy's face. For a moment it was overlaid with one that was more angular, and those sulky eyes were bright with a maniac hate that made Itachi's heart freeze.
"Sasuke, what's really wrong?" Itachi asked softly, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. Sasuke's shoulders were tiny, just bone underneath the cloth. He was so tiny, just a child. Sasuke met his brother's gaze, and Itachi let his expression soften. He squeezed Sasuke's tiny shoulders, and for a moment he felt something he hadn't even known had been there give way.
Sasuke took a breath, and it shook. He looked at his brother and his mouth moved. He blinked and closed his eyes, taking a few more breaths. Sasuke opened his eyes again, and this time he managed words. "Are you going to die?"
Itachi blinked. His mouth fell slack in shock, and he gave Sasuke an incredulous look. He saw Sasuke's lip tremble, and the over-bright look in his brother's eye. Itachi shook his head. "No, Sasuke, I'm not. I'm just...just a little sick. I'll be okay."
Sasuke nodded, and he blinked. Itachi thought for a moment Sasuke would be okay. He thought the boy might walk away, and go do his schoolwork or something. How ridiculous it was for him to think that Itachi might be dying. Where had he gotten an idea like that?
Sasuke looked at Itachi, and for a moment Itachi almost reached out to hug Sasuke, tear bright and trembling with his made up fears. He really was just a kid, and even though Itachi could remember being eight, he'd never been like Sasuke. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
The door opened and Mikoto walked in. She was visibly surprised to see both her sons home. Itachi dropped his arms, and Sasuke turned to look at his mother. She took in Sasuke's expression and softly swooped in with motherly concern, asking Sasuke what was wrong, why he was home, and everything she should. She gave him a hug and told him to go lie down, maybe he'd feel better. She would make him some soup in the mean time.
Itachi watched from the floor, feeling suddenly small and isolated. He felt like an outsider, staring at his mother and his brother, especially after the questioning look his mother gave him as she left for the kitchen. What had he done for Sasuke, she wanted to know. Itachi looked at his cold hands in his laps and knew exactly what he'd done to Sasuke.
He'd done nothing.
Enjoy
