Chapter 10 :
-How a Child Pushes-
"Ready Sasuke?" Itachi asked his brother. Sasuke looked up from where he was sitting and blinked. His eyes went wide, but then he looked down, acting like he wasn't excited. Itachi smiled a little at that. He remembered those gestures so well. They haunted his dreams...and his waking moments as well. Now, they were real again.
"Ready for what?" Sasuke asked.
Itachi smirked. "Training. I can see we need to work on a lot more than your shuriken throwing technique, though. Your memory seems to be pretty bad too."
Sasuke scowled and his gaze shot back up. "I remembered!" Itachi raised a questioning eyebrow and his brother, who scowled harder. "I just...'Tou-san said you were tired. I didn't think you wanted to train with me."
Itachi shook his head. "I said I would, didn't I? Also, helping you train isn't that hard."
Sasuke made a face at that. "Why not?" He stood up, eyes eager despite the perplexed look on his face. Oh, he wanted to spend time with his idolized older brother. Maybe Itachi would even praise him. Maybe his father would look at him and smile. Itachi's face smoothed out, and he knew this wouldn't make Fugaku smile at Sasuke. Poor little Sasuke, born into a family of secrets, liars, and killers.
"Why not?" Itachi repeated the words to get his wandering thoughts under control. "Sasuke, I've been throwing shuriken around longer than you've been alive. I think it should be obvious why teaching you such a simple thing would be easy for me." Itachi motioned for Sasuke to move towards the garden. Itachi went to retrieve the shuriken.
Itachi watched Sasuke throw, and then moved in to correct his little brother. He adjusted Sasuke's finger's hold with his own, and gently nudged the boy's feet and legs into a better stance. It was practical to correct Sasuke with touches instead of words. It was more precise. Itachi explained what he was doing as he did it, and Sasuke looked down at Itachi, meeting his brother's gaze solemnly and drinking in every word.
Sasuke was so small and soft. His little legs still had chubby baby fat, and even his finger were rounded. Itachi's own looked spidery thin next to Sasuke's. Sasuke was so young. He was still a child right now-practically a baby. His face was round, his eyes were bright, and he stuck out his tongue as he tried to hit the targets set up in one corner of their garden. He was so young.
Itachi was both sad and happy to see his younger brother like this. Soon, though, Sasuke would be like what Itachi remembered. He'd go from singing Itachi's praises to praying for his doom. What was Itachi doing here now? Teaching his little brother so he could kill Itachi that much faster? Itachi watched as Sasuke made another throw, this one more powerful and much more accurate. He looked at Itachi, face flushed with excitement, eyes bright with pride and accomplishment.
Itachi opened his mouth to praise, and he couldn't hear the words that came out. Sasuke did, and he nodded before turning back to his practice. Should Itachi instead be showing Sasuke how best to kill his brother? Should he be school his this child to be an assassin, so this time around Itachi could suffer less? Should he be whispering in Sasuke's ears the best places to land a killing blow with those small hands?
Itachi's head hurt. He pressed a hand to his temple, and almost slumped to the ground. He felt the kitten come alert. He stalked up, watching Itachi's weakness avidly. Itachi knew if he let his guard down, the kitten would pounce and try to take control. Itachi shook his head and looked back to Sasuke. He looked at the serious look on the child's face, and he wished he could change what was going to happen. Sasuke didn't deserve it.
None of them deserved it. How could anyone have deserved being slaughtered by you?
Itachi felt the kitten's shock at the remorse. The kitten was also confused, prowling around a prodding gently, trying to get a better idea at what was going on inside the other's head. The kitten was curious, no doubt, and he needed that information. He thought if he had enough information he could control Itachi. That was what had gotten the kitten into the situation he was in now, though. He had dug to deep, and he'd gotten lost in all Itachi's memories-or what would be. Now the kitten was a prisoner in his own mind.
Itachi felt a pang of guilt and anger. Who was he...who was he do to that to someone else after what had happened to him? Did he have any right to? No, he didn't, but he was doing it. He was as despicable as ever. He shouldn't even be surprised by the things he did any more.
Woe is me! I am wicked, terrible, and utterly unloved! Maybe because I killed my clan. Hmmmm...will you get over yourself? Being trapped in here is bad enough without listening to you whine.
Itachi ignored the crabby griping of the kitten and turned back to Sasuke. "That's good Sasuke, but you're not using your wrist enough." Itachi adjusted his brother's hold, and watched as Sasuke tried again. Itachi nodded. "Better."
Sasuke beamed. Itachi's heart lurched. Did such a simple word of praise make Sasuke that happy? Was he so starved and needy for attention and acknowledgement?
He loves you-me. Sasuke's always like that. He's always smiling at me, or trailing after me hoping for praise and acknowledgement. Sasuke lives for those words, from anyone, but he treasures them from me. He loves his family. He bases his existence on the people he loves. And you-you're going to take that away from him. You talk about how poor he is, and how you want to spare him. You act like you might love him, but how can you love him if you're going to take everything away from him? Do you think he'd want to live in a world like that? It would be better if you killed him too.
No, he couldn't kill Sasuke. He'd kill everyone else. He knew he could manage that, but he couldn't kill Sasuke. He didn't want to kill Sasuke. Not killing Sasuke had been his one victory in this. He'd let his innocent brother live on. Sasuke didn't deserve to die.
But he deserved to live in Hell? Gods, you killed our family! Why would he want to live beyond that? You made him hate you! You forced him to hate you or be disloyal to his memories of his family. You make me sick. It'd be better just to kill him too. It'd be better if you'd just thrown yourself off a bridge instead of Shisui. You're the one who's too weak to live!
The kitten didn't know. The kitten hadn't seen all of that. The kitten hadn't felt the hot, angry press around his mind, his very being. The kitten didn't know what it was to fight. The kitten knew nothing. Nothing at all. He had no idea what he would face. He couldn't say what was right or wrong. He really didn't know what he was talking about. The kitten was still a child, naive and as innocent as Sasuke when compared to Itachi. The kitten didn't know anything.
I know better than to make my brother a shell with nothing to live for but killing the last living person he loves. Do you think he ever stopped loving you? How could you do that to him? How can you pretend you ever loved him? How can you get onto me for ignoring him, especially when you seem to think your gods awful future is inevitable. It will all just hurt him more.
The kitten had jammed his foot into a sore spot, and he was using that to wriggle his way further into control. Itachi's blood was pounding in his ears. His head was spinning.
Why didn't you kill Sasuke? Why did you kill anyone of them!
Because he could save Sasuke. How could he save them all? The kitten knew nothing. He hadn't felt the burning back up his spine, eating into his brain. He hadn't felt the white hot fury mixed so thick with despair it was too thick to even breath through. He didn't know what it was to want to scream and be unable to. He didn't know. He didn't know...
I can't-
The world filled upside down. Itachi staggered, knees buckling, head spinning, eyes aching, and stomach lurching. For a moment he thought he was falling up, and then he realized he was slipping down. His eyes saw everything in too many colors, and he realized his sharingan was activated. He saw Sasuke, wide eyed, looking at him. He was falling.
Strong hands caught Itachi's shoulders, and his head and shoulders fell back against hard, warm flesh. He smelled sulfur, paper, and acrid ink. Itachi's head fell back, and he looked up to see his father looking down at him. Itachi blinked, and the sharingan vanished. The world returned to its normal colors, and seemed almost darker for it. His legs went completely limp, and the only thing holding him up was his father's hands on his arms.
Fuagku's mouth was moving, and Itachi couldn't hear anything but the blood pounding in his ears. He couldn't hear anything-
"NII-SAN!" Sasuke's high voice, panicked and scared, broke through. His hands jerked on Itachi's shirt, grounding him to reality. Itachi took a quick breath and looked down at Sasuke. Noise crashed down around him, and after hearing it with the other as a filter all day, Itachi was disoriented. His head pounded harder with the onslaught, and he was certain he was going to pass out.
Fugaku was carrying him into the house, his arms warm across Itachi's shoulder and under the crook of his knees. Itachi blinked at the blue sky. He heard Sasuke's anxious little feet pattering after them. Itachi stirred, muscles tightening-finally under his control- and his mouth moved.
"I'm all right."
It was soft, almost a dreamy whisper. He didn't really feel all right. His chakra system ached. His eyes felt raw, and there was an unpleasant feeling of heat up and down his back. Still, he didn't need to be carried like a child. "It was just a dizzy spell...I probably need to eat something."
Fugaku gave Itachi an uncertain look, but he righted Itachi and set his son's feet on the porch. Itachi felt his knees try to buckle, but he managed to stay standing. He did feel dizzy and light headed like he did when he went too long between meals, but he didn't think that was it. Something about wrenching control away from the other had made him feel this way.
"Is everything all right?" Mikoto asked. Her brows were drawn down in worry, and her lips were pursed.
"It is-"
"Itachi fell down! He started shaking and then he started to fall down!" Sasuke interrupted. He looked from parent to parent to Itachi, eyes wide. "He-he's not okay! He fell down. He shouldn't fall down while he's just standing there. Something's wrong." Sasuke's eyes darted between them all. His voice rose, and the panic in it was stabbing into Itachi's achy head.
Mikoto's face softened, and she opened her mouth to speak. Itachi turned and clapping his hands sharply together, cutting through Sasuke's words and startling the boy into silence. Fugaku looked a little startled as well.
"Sasuke, I'm all right." Itachi said shortly, eyes locked on his younger brother's pale face. "I was sick, but I'm getting better. I haven't eaten enough today, so I got dizzy. It's going to take some time for me to get completely better, okay?" Itachi's expression and tone softened a little. "You don't have to worry about me, Sasuke. I'm okay."
Sasuke blinked. He sniffed and looked just a bit less panicked. "It...it's my fault you fell down, isn't it? I shouldn't have asked you to-"
"No, it's not. I should have eaten something more today," Itachi said firmly. He ignored the fact both his parents were looking between him and Sasuke with unreadable looks.
"Supper's ready," Mikoto intoned, still looking between her boys.
Itachi nodded, and motioned for Sasuke to follow him. "Come on Sasuke, we need to wash up." Itachi's hands were a little grimy from the other's climb onto the monument. He wiped them together, as if that could clean them, and padded past his mother into the house. Sasuke followed, hesitant in his footsteps. Itachi reached the bathroom first and turned on the faucet. When the cold water splashed over his hands he jerked, and everything snapped back into focus.
He was back in control of his body now, totally and completely. He took a quick breath and closed his eyes. For a while...he'd thought he might have lost control to the other forever. He'd thought he'd lost control, and doomed his family to the horrific death the other had in mind for them.
Except, the other seemed sadder about their deaths than happy. It insisted they would die, and Itachi would kill them, but he didn't seem to take joy in that fact. When Itachi focused on the dizzy memories from last night floating around in his head, he knew he was missing something from the other's motives and reasons, but he couldn't see what it was. Itachi bit into his lower lip in frustration. If he wanted to keep the other from killing his family, he needed that missing piece.
"Nii-san..." Sasuke's small voice jerked Itachi back to the present. He realized he was just standing there, wringing his hands under the water. Itachi blinked and stepped back, motioning his brother forward. Sasuke eyed his brother warily before stepping forward to wash his hands. Itachi watched the water fall over his brother's small hands. He caught sight of Sasuke's pale neck, and for a moment he thought he saw a dark spot on it-dirt or a bruise maybe.
Itachi reached forward and touched the spot, only to find it was clean skin. There was nothing there, and there never had been. Would there be something there one day? Sasuke twisted his head to the side a little. Itachi looked down at met his brother's gaze. Itachi removed his finger from his brother's neck, and hurried out to supper. Once again, it was quiet affair. Itachi hated the looks people kept shooting him. It made it hard for him to think, and he was so tired. He needed to think, though. He needed to analyze what had happened. He needed to think over what he's learned about the other so he could apply it.
He was too tired to make any connections. His muscles ached, liked he'd done strenuous activity, which he hadn't. His chakra network felt stretched too, tired, like he'd been reaching too far with it for too long. His eyes ached like he'd been awake too long. Itachi blinked heavily, and his head nodded forward while he was picking through his rice. He felt the looks he was getting.
When he almost nodded off in his Miso soup, his mother sent him to bed like a child. He bowed his head and went, only staggering once as he went down the hall. He was exhausted. He could only guess the sudden exhaustion had something to do with the struggle for control with the other. Why it would make him feel so exhausted, he didn't know. He readied for bed slowly, moving careful to accommodate for all his aches. He settled the soft, worn cloth of his yukata around his shoulders, and rubbed the fabric between his fingers.
He stared blankly at the wall of his dimly lit room. His sharingan slowly swirled into life, bringing everything into sharper focus and color. Itachi breathed in slowly, relaxing the frantic spinning. He could feel it-almost hear it spinning. Everyone in the clan had praised Itachi on how sensitive his sharingan was to react to movement, tracking it almost without Itachi's consent at times. Itachi blinked. He felt the sharingan trying to pull into something...else. Itachi frowned. He let the pull grow stronger.
Itachi gasped, hunched over, and dropped to his hands and knees as his eyes exploded with pain. The world warped, shifted, changed, bent under his eyes and he gagged on a noise that wanted to be pained and helpless. Itachi scrunched his eyes shut, and forced the sharingan off. It left with a sickening lurch. Itachi wiped his hand cross his face, clearing off the tears that had started falling. His hand came away red and sticky with blood. Itachi stared at the obscenely bright liquid, and his mouth went dry.
He felt the trail of blood up his face to his eyes, and he shuddered. His eyes hurt. He closed them and rubbed at the blood, smearing it more over his face rather than getting it off. Itachi stood, took a step that was almost a stumble, and sank down by the black clothes he'd just taken off. He used the inside of his shirt to wipe the blood off his face, and checked in a mirror to see he'd gotten it all off. He could still see the barest traces of the viscous liquid stuck in his eye lashes, but it would do.
Itachi folded his shirt back up with shaking hands, and placed the mirror away. He rolled out his futon and slowly lowered himself down into it. It was still light in the room, but soft enough he could easily fall asleep. As his head hit his pillow, he felt something rise up to greet him. Itachi recoiled, but his body was heavy and slipping off into sleep. He knew this feeling, dark, thick, and sticky like the blood running from his eyes. This was the other's dreams-memories, rising up to meet him.
Itachi struggled, but he knew he was trapped. He was dragged down into the memories, like the night before, and he could not get away. Itachi felt the other chuckle.
Enjoy
-How a Child Pushes-
"Ready Sasuke?" Itachi asked his brother. Sasuke looked up from where he was sitting and blinked. His eyes went wide, but then he looked down, acting like he wasn't excited. Itachi smiled a little at that. He remembered those gestures so well. They haunted his dreams...and his waking moments as well. Now, they were real again.
"Ready for what?" Sasuke asked.
Itachi smirked. "Training. I can see we need to work on a lot more than your shuriken throwing technique, though. Your memory seems to be pretty bad too."
Sasuke scowled and his gaze shot back up. "I remembered!" Itachi raised a questioning eyebrow and his brother, who scowled harder. "I just...'Tou-san said you were tired. I didn't think you wanted to train with me."
Itachi shook his head. "I said I would, didn't I? Also, helping you train isn't that hard."
Sasuke made a face at that. "Why not?" He stood up, eyes eager despite the perplexed look on his face. Oh, he wanted to spend time with his idolized older brother. Maybe Itachi would even praise him. Maybe his father would look at him and smile. Itachi's face smoothed out, and he knew this wouldn't make Fugaku smile at Sasuke. Poor little Sasuke, born into a family of secrets, liars, and killers.
"Why not?" Itachi repeated the words to get his wandering thoughts under control. "Sasuke, I've been throwing shuriken around longer than you've been alive. I think it should be obvious why teaching you such a simple thing would be easy for me." Itachi motioned for Sasuke to move towards the garden. Itachi went to retrieve the shuriken.
Itachi watched Sasuke throw, and then moved in to correct his little brother. He adjusted Sasuke's finger's hold with his own, and gently nudged the boy's feet and legs into a better stance. It was practical to correct Sasuke with touches instead of words. It was more precise. Itachi explained what he was doing as he did it, and Sasuke looked down at Itachi, meeting his brother's gaze solemnly and drinking in every word.
Sasuke was so small and soft. His little legs still had chubby baby fat, and even his finger were rounded. Itachi's own looked spidery thin next to Sasuke's. Sasuke was so young. He was still a child right now-practically a baby. His face was round, his eyes were bright, and he stuck out his tongue as he tried to hit the targets set up in one corner of their garden. He was so young.
Itachi was both sad and happy to see his younger brother like this. Soon, though, Sasuke would be like what Itachi remembered. He'd go from singing Itachi's praises to praying for his doom. What was Itachi doing here now? Teaching his little brother so he could kill Itachi that much faster? Itachi watched as Sasuke made another throw, this one more powerful and much more accurate. He looked at Itachi, face flushed with excitement, eyes bright with pride and accomplishment.
Itachi opened his mouth to praise, and he couldn't hear the words that came out. Sasuke did, and he nodded before turning back to his practice. Should Itachi instead be showing Sasuke how best to kill his brother? Should he be school his this child to be an assassin, so this time around Itachi could suffer less? Should he be whispering in Sasuke's ears the best places to land a killing blow with those small hands?
Itachi's head hurt. He pressed a hand to his temple, and almost slumped to the ground. He felt the kitten come alert. He stalked up, watching Itachi's weakness avidly. Itachi knew if he let his guard down, the kitten would pounce and try to take control. Itachi shook his head and looked back to Sasuke. He looked at the serious look on the child's face, and he wished he could change what was going to happen. Sasuke didn't deserve it.
None of them deserved it. How could anyone have deserved being slaughtered by you?
Itachi felt the kitten's shock at the remorse. The kitten was also confused, prowling around a prodding gently, trying to get a better idea at what was going on inside the other's head. The kitten was curious, no doubt, and he needed that information. He thought if he had enough information he could control Itachi. That was what had gotten the kitten into the situation he was in now, though. He had dug to deep, and he'd gotten lost in all Itachi's memories-or what would be. Now the kitten was a prisoner in his own mind.
Itachi felt a pang of guilt and anger. Who was he...who was he do to that to someone else after what had happened to him? Did he have any right to? No, he didn't, but he was doing it. He was as despicable as ever. He shouldn't even be surprised by the things he did any more.
Woe is me! I am wicked, terrible, and utterly unloved! Maybe because I killed my clan. Hmmmm...will you get over yourself? Being trapped in here is bad enough without listening to you whine.
Itachi ignored the crabby griping of the kitten and turned back to Sasuke. "That's good Sasuke, but you're not using your wrist enough." Itachi adjusted his brother's hold, and watched as Sasuke tried again. Itachi nodded. "Better."
Sasuke beamed. Itachi's heart lurched. Did such a simple word of praise make Sasuke that happy? Was he so starved and needy for attention and acknowledgement?
He loves you-me. Sasuke's always like that. He's always smiling at me, or trailing after me hoping for praise and acknowledgement. Sasuke lives for those words, from anyone, but he treasures them from me. He loves his family. He bases his existence on the people he loves. And you-you're going to take that away from him. You talk about how poor he is, and how you want to spare him. You act like you might love him, but how can you love him if you're going to take everything away from him? Do you think he'd want to live in a world like that? It would be better if you killed him too.
No, he couldn't kill Sasuke. He'd kill everyone else. He knew he could manage that, but he couldn't kill Sasuke. He didn't want to kill Sasuke. Not killing Sasuke had been his one victory in this. He'd let his innocent brother live on. Sasuke didn't deserve to die.
But he deserved to live in Hell? Gods, you killed our family! Why would he want to live beyond that? You made him hate you! You forced him to hate you or be disloyal to his memories of his family. You make me sick. It'd be better just to kill him too. It'd be better if you'd just thrown yourself off a bridge instead of Shisui. You're the one who's too weak to live!
The kitten didn't know. The kitten hadn't seen all of that. The kitten hadn't felt the hot, angry press around his mind, his very being. The kitten didn't know what it was to fight. The kitten knew nothing. Nothing at all. He had no idea what he would face. He couldn't say what was right or wrong. He really didn't know what he was talking about. The kitten was still a child, naive and as innocent as Sasuke when compared to Itachi. The kitten didn't know anything.
I know better than to make my brother a shell with nothing to live for but killing the last living person he loves. Do you think he ever stopped loving you? How could you do that to him? How can you pretend you ever loved him? How can you get onto me for ignoring him, especially when you seem to think your gods awful future is inevitable. It will all just hurt him more.
The kitten had jammed his foot into a sore spot, and he was using that to wriggle his way further into control. Itachi's blood was pounding in his ears. His head was spinning.
Why didn't you kill Sasuke? Why did you kill anyone of them!
Because he could save Sasuke. How could he save them all? The kitten knew nothing. He hadn't felt the burning back up his spine, eating into his brain. He hadn't felt the white hot fury mixed so thick with despair it was too thick to even breath through. He didn't know what it was to want to scream and be unable to. He didn't know. He didn't know...
I can't-
The world filled upside down. Itachi staggered, knees buckling, head spinning, eyes aching, and stomach lurching. For a moment he thought he was falling up, and then he realized he was slipping down. His eyes saw everything in too many colors, and he realized his sharingan was activated. He saw Sasuke, wide eyed, looking at him. He was falling.
Strong hands caught Itachi's shoulders, and his head and shoulders fell back against hard, warm flesh. He smelled sulfur, paper, and acrid ink. Itachi's head fell back, and he looked up to see his father looking down at him. Itachi blinked, and the sharingan vanished. The world returned to its normal colors, and seemed almost darker for it. His legs went completely limp, and the only thing holding him up was his father's hands on his arms.
Fuagku's mouth was moving, and Itachi couldn't hear anything but the blood pounding in his ears. He couldn't hear anything-
"NII-SAN!" Sasuke's high voice, panicked and scared, broke through. His hands jerked on Itachi's shirt, grounding him to reality. Itachi took a quick breath and looked down at Sasuke. Noise crashed down around him, and after hearing it with the other as a filter all day, Itachi was disoriented. His head pounded harder with the onslaught, and he was certain he was going to pass out.
Fugaku was carrying him into the house, his arms warm across Itachi's shoulder and under the crook of his knees. Itachi blinked at the blue sky. He heard Sasuke's anxious little feet pattering after them. Itachi stirred, muscles tightening-finally under his control- and his mouth moved.
"I'm all right."
It was soft, almost a dreamy whisper. He didn't really feel all right. His chakra system ached. His eyes felt raw, and there was an unpleasant feeling of heat up and down his back. Still, he didn't need to be carried like a child. "It was just a dizzy spell...I probably need to eat something."
Fugaku gave Itachi an uncertain look, but he righted Itachi and set his son's feet on the porch. Itachi felt his knees try to buckle, but he managed to stay standing. He did feel dizzy and light headed like he did when he went too long between meals, but he didn't think that was it. Something about wrenching control away from the other had made him feel this way.
"Is everything all right?" Mikoto asked. Her brows were drawn down in worry, and her lips were pursed.
"It is-"
"Itachi fell down! He started shaking and then he started to fall down!" Sasuke interrupted. He looked from parent to parent to Itachi, eyes wide. "He-he's not okay! He fell down. He shouldn't fall down while he's just standing there. Something's wrong." Sasuke's eyes darted between them all. His voice rose, and the panic in it was stabbing into Itachi's achy head.
Mikoto's face softened, and she opened her mouth to speak. Itachi turned and clapping his hands sharply together, cutting through Sasuke's words and startling the boy into silence. Fugaku looked a little startled as well.
"Sasuke, I'm all right." Itachi said shortly, eyes locked on his younger brother's pale face. "I was sick, but I'm getting better. I haven't eaten enough today, so I got dizzy. It's going to take some time for me to get completely better, okay?" Itachi's expression and tone softened a little. "You don't have to worry about me, Sasuke. I'm okay."
Sasuke blinked. He sniffed and looked just a bit less panicked. "It...it's my fault you fell down, isn't it? I shouldn't have asked you to-"
"No, it's not. I should have eaten something more today," Itachi said firmly. He ignored the fact both his parents were looking between him and Sasuke with unreadable looks.
"Supper's ready," Mikoto intoned, still looking between her boys.
Itachi nodded, and motioned for Sasuke to follow him. "Come on Sasuke, we need to wash up." Itachi's hands were a little grimy from the other's climb onto the monument. He wiped them together, as if that could clean them, and padded past his mother into the house. Sasuke followed, hesitant in his footsteps. Itachi reached the bathroom first and turned on the faucet. When the cold water splashed over his hands he jerked, and everything snapped back into focus.
He was back in control of his body now, totally and completely. He took a quick breath and closed his eyes. For a while...he'd thought he might have lost control to the other forever. He'd thought he'd lost control, and doomed his family to the horrific death the other had in mind for them.
Except, the other seemed sadder about their deaths than happy. It insisted they would die, and Itachi would kill them, but he didn't seem to take joy in that fact. When Itachi focused on the dizzy memories from last night floating around in his head, he knew he was missing something from the other's motives and reasons, but he couldn't see what it was. Itachi bit into his lower lip in frustration. If he wanted to keep the other from killing his family, he needed that missing piece.
"Nii-san..." Sasuke's small voice jerked Itachi back to the present. He realized he was just standing there, wringing his hands under the water. Itachi blinked and stepped back, motioning his brother forward. Sasuke eyed his brother warily before stepping forward to wash his hands. Itachi watched the water fall over his brother's small hands. He caught sight of Sasuke's pale neck, and for a moment he thought he saw a dark spot on it-dirt or a bruise maybe.
Itachi reached forward and touched the spot, only to find it was clean skin. There was nothing there, and there never had been. Would there be something there one day? Sasuke twisted his head to the side a little. Itachi looked down at met his brother's gaze. Itachi removed his finger from his brother's neck, and hurried out to supper. Once again, it was quiet affair. Itachi hated the looks people kept shooting him. It made it hard for him to think, and he was so tired. He needed to think, though. He needed to analyze what had happened. He needed to think over what he's learned about the other so he could apply it.
He was too tired to make any connections. His muscles ached, liked he'd done strenuous activity, which he hadn't. His chakra network felt stretched too, tired, like he'd been reaching too far with it for too long. His eyes ached like he'd been awake too long. Itachi blinked heavily, and his head nodded forward while he was picking through his rice. He felt the looks he was getting.
When he almost nodded off in his Miso soup, his mother sent him to bed like a child. He bowed his head and went, only staggering once as he went down the hall. He was exhausted. He could only guess the sudden exhaustion had something to do with the struggle for control with the other. Why it would make him feel so exhausted, he didn't know. He readied for bed slowly, moving careful to accommodate for all his aches. He settled the soft, worn cloth of his yukata around his shoulders, and rubbed the fabric between his fingers.
He stared blankly at the wall of his dimly lit room. His sharingan slowly swirled into life, bringing everything into sharper focus and color. Itachi breathed in slowly, relaxing the frantic spinning. He could feel it-almost hear it spinning. Everyone in the clan had praised Itachi on how sensitive his sharingan was to react to movement, tracking it almost without Itachi's consent at times. Itachi blinked. He felt the sharingan trying to pull into something...else. Itachi frowned. He let the pull grow stronger.
Itachi gasped, hunched over, and dropped to his hands and knees as his eyes exploded with pain. The world warped, shifted, changed, bent under his eyes and he gagged on a noise that wanted to be pained and helpless. Itachi scrunched his eyes shut, and forced the sharingan off. It left with a sickening lurch. Itachi wiped his hand cross his face, clearing off the tears that had started falling. His hand came away red and sticky with blood. Itachi stared at the obscenely bright liquid, and his mouth went dry.
He felt the trail of blood up his face to his eyes, and he shuddered. His eyes hurt. He closed them and rubbed at the blood, smearing it more over his face rather than getting it off. Itachi stood, took a step that was almost a stumble, and sank down by the black clothes he'd just taken off. He used the inside of his shirt to wipe the blood off his face, and checked in a mirror to see he'd gotten it all off. He could still see the barest traces of the viscous liquid stuck in his eye lashes, but it would do.
Itachi folded his shirt back up with shaking hands, and placed the mirror away. He rolled out his futon and slowly lowered himself down into it. It was still light in the room, but soft enough he could easily fall asleep. As his head hit his pillow, he felt something rise up to greet him. Itachi recoiled, but his body was heavy and slipping off into sleep. He knew this feeling, dark, thick, and sticky like the blood running from his eyes. This was the other's dreams-memories, rising up to meet him.
Itachi struggled, but he knew he was trapped. He was dragged down into the memories, like the night before, and he could not get away. Itachi felt the other chuckle.
Enjoy
