I am sorry to hear about your loss. I've taken comfort from these words which came from a true sage Chuang Tzu.
“How do I know that love of life is not a delusion after all? How do I know but
that he who dreads death is not as a child who has lost his way and does not know
his way home?
“The Lady Li Chi was the daughter of the frontier officer of Ai. When the Duke of
Chin first got her, she wept until the bosom of her dress was drenched with tears.
But when she came to the royal residence, shared with the Duke his luxurious couch,
and ate rich food, she repented of having wept. How then do I know but that the
dead may repent of having previously clung to life?
“Those who dream of the banquet, wake to lamentation and sorrow. Those who dream
of lamentation and sorrow wake to join the hunt. While they dream, they do not know
that they are dreaming. Some will even interpret the very dream they are dreaming;
and only when they awake do they know it was a dream. By and by comes the great
awakening, and then we find out that this life is really a great dream. Fools think
they are awake now, and flatter themselves they know — this one is a prince, and
that one is a shepherd. What narrowness of mind! Confucius and you are both dreams;
and I who say you are dreams — I am but a dream myself. This is a paradox. Tomorrow
a Sage may arise to explain it; but that tomorrow will not be until ten thousand
generations have gone by. Yet you may meet him around the corner.
When Laotse died, Ch’in Yi went to the
funeral. He uttered three yells and departed. A disciple asked him saying, “Were
you not our Master’s friend?”
“I was,” replied Ch’in Yi.
“And if so, do you consider that a sufficient expression of grief at his death?”
added the disciple.
“I do,” said Ch’in Yi. “I had thought he was a (mortal) man, but now I know that
he was not. When I went in to mourn, I found old persons weeping as if for their
children, young ones wailing as if for their mothers. When these people meet, they
must have said words on the occasion and shed tears without any intention. (To cry
thus at one’s death) is to evade the natural principles (of life and death) and
increase human attachments, forgetting the source from which we receive this life.
The ancients called this ‘evading the retribution of Heaven.’ The Master came, because
it was his time to be born; He went, because it was his time to go away. Those who
accept the natural course and sequence of things and live in obedience to it are
beyond joy and sorrow. The ancients spoke of this as the emancipation from bondage.
The fingers may not be able to supply all the fuel, but the fire is transmitted,
and we know not when it will come to an end.”
When Chuang Tzu was about to die,
His disciples began planning a grand funeral.
But Chuang Tzu said:
“I shall have heaven and earth for my coffin,
the sun and moon will be jade symbols
hanging by my side;
planets and constellations
will shine as jewels all around me,
and all beings will be present
as mourners at the wake.
What more is needed?
Everything is amply taken care of.”
But the disciples said:
“We fear that the crows and kites
will eat our Master.”
Chuang Tzu replied:
Well, above the ground I shall be eaten
by crows and kites,
And below the ground by ants and worms.
In either case I shall be eaten –
So why are you favoring the birds?”
Take care.
