[Discussion] Anyone else have a problem with pushing people away?

[sandman20]

I've noticed I had this problem since I was teenager to where I'll be friends with someone for probably over a year or so and I'll just stop talking with them for months! I acknowledge this now and yet I still do it and can't maintain a consistent friendship to save my life, hell you can forget about relationships Lol I just can't get that close to people like I could as a kid and it frustrates me to no end that I do this subconsciously.

 

[HashiraMadara SenjUchiha]

well it means there is something taking some of your time that should have been spent with friends

 

[BlazeRelease]

Stop trying to get close.

A real friendship just happens, orherwise it's just forced.

 

[Jinrou]

Same here i think. My friends always complain that i do not know how to keep in touch ^^ Fortunately i found someone like me. We might not talk or see each other for months but when we do, everything's still the same.
I assume i'll change as i get older though but i just prefer being alone. Peace and Quiet ftw.

 

[Jcub]

When does it start, does it start with offense? or does it start when someone becomes familiar?

I'm guessing its the latter, and you are suffering from a orphan spirit, maybe something happen to you to betray your trust with someone close to you, and as result you push people away so you don't have to worry about getting help.

Relationships of all sorts take effort, and you have to make an conscious effort even if your sub con is trying to evac, we all need people as I am sure you know, God made us to need him but also others.

 

[Wabbit]

I dnt have problem if there are no witnesses and the building is high enough to kill them.

 

[Murasame]

I kinda have the same problem except for me its just that I've moved like 3-4 times and the first ew times I made close friends but after starting all over again and again I didn't really make much effort. Ive just made some casual friends with only 2 close friends. It doesn't matter much though to me since I have to start taking priorities over friends like College or a job so I've kind of pushed friends away as well subconsciously or on purpose. Anyways just do you.. if you make some friends along the way that's fine but don't force it

 

[tobitaka]

how is your attention span with other things in your life? do you flit from thing to thing, or do you have a hobby that you've been doing for years?

sometimes this era we live in can give people an instant gratification mentality. for example, if you play a lot of video games, you might get used to playing things through until they reach some sensible conclusion, and then discarding them for something new. i don't know your circumstances, but perhaps you're making a friend and then failing to stick at it because you lose interest??

just a stab in the dark tho.

 

[Zee Seh]

Friendship isnt about being consistently talking to each other, Its more like a bond, i guess.

actually i dont believe in the concept of "Best Friend" .. Its just a normal friend of yours whom u spend more time with . You stop talking to them for a few months or so. You'll realize that 'Best" tag actually meant nothing.. Its just a matter of time.
Better to just keep it to 'Friends' No need to take it to the 'Best' level. Just make sure u make plenty of friends *_*

 

[Erebus]

I feel your pain, i never really had friends for a while so when i did get them, i never appreciated them enough then things sort of fell apart, it's really hard trying to maintain them especially for more who is very introverted, but i'm getting there =D. Bottom line is effort, it takes effort from both sides to maintain a solid friendship. And also don't try to join the popular circles, those... don't work out.

 

[HashiraMadara SenjUchiha]

I feel your pain, i never really had friends for a while so when i did get them, i never appreciated them enough then things sort of fell apart, it's really hard trying to maintain them especially for more who is very introverted, but i'm getting there =D. Bottom line is effort, it takes effort from both sides to maintain a solid friendship. And also don't try to join the popular circles, those... don't work out.

I am the kinda guy who don't even need to make effort because of the way I grew up, I grew up in populated environment and there making friends is easy

 

[The Amazing Spider Man]

"Born alone die alone no crew to keep my crown or throne"
- Nas

 

[SoloGod]

I was just googling this 20 minutes ago because I have this problem. I used to have this juvenile view of the world and always wanted to help people, used to be so outgoing and put people before myself etc but I think due to past experiences I have lost some empathy for people and don't mind pushing them away, because they pushed me away in the first place and i've picked up that behaviour as a result. Oh I also don't like getting too attatched to people either anymore and I pick my friends carefully.

>mfw this sounds like madaras story

 

[sandman20]

Same here i think. My friends always complain that i do not know how to keep in touch ^^ Fortunately i found someone like me. We might not talk or see each other for months but when we do, everything's still the same.
I assume i'll change as i get older though but i just prefer being alone. Peace and Quiet ftw.

That's what I'm looking for. A friendship to where it won't feel weird after not talking with them for quite awhile and I don't have anyone I know I can do that with.

 

[sandman20]

I feel your pain, i never really had friends for a while so when i did get them, i never appreciated them enough then things sort of fell apart, it's really hard trying to maintain them especially for more who is very introverted, but i'm getting there =D. Bottom line is effort, it takes effort from both sides to maintain a solid friendship. And also don't try to join the popular circles, those... don't work out.

Yeah, and true is most if not all my "friends" make no effort to contact me first. I always have to do it first...

 

[HashiraMadara SenjUchiha]

I was just googling this 20 minutes ago because I have this problem. I used to have this juvenile view of the world and always wanted to help people, used to be so outgoing and put people before myself etc but I think due to past experiences I have lost some empathy for people and don't mind pushing them away, because they pushed me away in the first place and i've picked up that behaviour as a result. Oh I also don't like getting too attatched to people either anymore and I pick my friends carefully.

>mfw this sounds like madaras story

googling friendship stuff!

You must be registered for see images

 

[Erebus]

I am the kinda guy who don't even need to make effort because of the way I grew up, I grew up in populated environment and there making friends is easy

Lucky you then, it just works out for some people, others not so much, or maybe i'm looking at it too much from my POV.

Yeah, and true is most if not all my "friends" make no effort to contact me first. I always have to do it first...

If all attempt prove futile, it just means that it wasn't meant to be, if you reach out long enough there'll always be someone to take your hand

 

[SS100]

a true friend is someone that you spend playing and growing up since your childhood

 

[Transcendence]

Not really. But there is times where I don't talk to my best friend for a while since we're both in medically related programs at school and we're tied up a lot. But I grew up with him and he's basically like a brother to me. So even if I don't seem him for a while, when we do see each other, it's like nothing has changed. We both understand the priorities that life puts forth, but we're still best friends through and through.

 

[Tennis Robot]

The only answer is to spend months alone thinking about yourself, others, and life. You won't fully believe anything anyone tells you. Only you can figure it out. I can help guide you there if you want though

^I extend my offer to anyone and everyone with any and all kinds of problems. Why? You'll find my reason blinking in the speech bubble below this comment. And, arrogant as it may sound, I know I can help anyone who is willing to trust me