[Discussion] Anyone else have a problem with pushing people away?
- Thread starter sandman20
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HashiraMadara SenjUchiha
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Well Africa or South Africa to be specific is not a place where one can be lonely(it's country in its infancy)
I've actually spent most of my teenage years (15 to 19) alone and heavily thinking about my life and others and whatnot. That would pretty cool if you could be a sort of guide on something like thisThe only answer is to spend months alone thinking about yourself, others, and life. You won't fully believe anything anyone tells you. Only you can figure it out. I can help guide you there if you want though
^I extend my offer to anyone and everyone with any and all kinds of problems. Why? You'll find my reason blinking in the speech bubble below this comment. And, arrogant as it may sound, I know I can help anyone who is willing to trust me
Tennis Robot
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It's a really meticulous method. If I don't have the information to do it myself, all I can really say is that everything about your personality has very distinct roots in your past. You make sense. If you are analytical enough, you can examine your life and figure out why you are the way you are. Once you know yourself, you can pursue your true desires. Or something like that lol. But it isn't easy.I've actually spent most of my teenage years (15 to 19) alone and heavily thinking about my life and others and whatnot. That would pretty cool if you could be a sort of guide on something like this
Warning: Self-absorbed, depressing tangent below. I would not recommend reading it. That isn't reverse psychology. I really hate the need I have to talk about myself so much. Even though I understand it
So I clearly don't hate it at all...It's pretty ****ed up.I'm probably the most calculating/analytical person you will ever know, and it took me four months of literally being by myself thinking all day about things. I only ate probably 5 days a week on average, and it would almost always be just a single, normally portioned meal (if not a little less than that tbh). I would go 20+ hours without sleep daily. That’s how focused I was. I ran into a lot of walls. Probably every two weeks or so I would think I had everything figured out, only to find some flaw in my reasoning. It was demoralizing. I entertained the idea of suicide briefly, and I think the only thing that kept me alive was my least favorite aspect of myself: my arrogance. What made it worse was the loneliness. Because there was literally no one in this world (myself included) who knew who I was. I had lied to myself and everyone else for pretty much the entirety of my life. Over 3100 of my posts here were from May-October of this year. This was the closest thing to human interaction I had, and the only distraction I had from my self-deprecating, mentally taxing internal dialogues. However, I can say that it was infinitely more difficult to empathize with myself than it ever has been for me to empathize with others. I think I said too much. Sorry
rickjamesbitceh
Member
I can kinda understand what you're coming from reading that "self-absorbed" tangent. I'm arrogant as well when it comes to myself and just I may not exactly done what you've done, but it's similar I suppose.It's a really meticulous method. If I don't have the information to do it myself, all I can really say is that everything about your personality has very distinct roots in your past. You make sense. If you are analytical enough, you can examine your life and figure out why you are the way you are. Once you know yourself, you can pursue your true desires. Or something like that lol. But it isn't easy.
Warning: Self-absorbed, depressing tangent below. I would not recommend reading it. That isn't reverse psychology. I really hate the need I have to talk about myself so much. Even though I understand it
I'm probably the most calculating/analytical person you will ever know, and it took me four months of literally being by myself thinking all day about things. I only ate probably 5 days a week on average, and it would almost always be just a single, normally portioned meal (if not a little less than that tbh). I would go 20+ hours without sleep daily. That’s how focused I was. I ran into a lot of walls. Probably every two weeks or so I would think I had everything figured out, only to find some flaw in my reasoning. It was demoralizing. I entertained the idea of suicide briefly, and I think the only thing that kept me alive was my least favorite aspect of myself: my arrogance. What made it worse was the loneliness. Because there was literally no one in this world (myself included) who knew who I was. I had lied to myself and everyone else for pretty much the entirety of my life. Over 3100 of my posts here were from May-October of this year. This was the closest thing to human interaction I had, and the only distraction I had from my self-deprecating, mentally taxing internal dialogues. However, I can say that it was infinitely more difficult to empathize with myself than it ever has been for me to empathize with others. I think I said too much. Sorry
I thought i was the only one (0_0).
Up till last month, i just realised i dislike being too close with other people. What I always do though, so far, i tend to be the first person to talk to someone and form some sort of acquaintanceship with him/her, and once i notice we get too close, i push that person away, like avoiding him or her. I never thought of my behaviour can be like that before, i only know it when i do a few self-reflections.
Wonder if we should change it?
Up till last month, i just realised i dislike being too close with other people. What I always do though, so far, i tend to be the first person to talk to someone and form some sort of acquaintanceship with him/her, and once i notice we get too close, i push that person away, like avoiding him or her. I never thought of my behaviour can be like that before, i only know it when i do a few self-reflections.
Wonder if we should change it?
Funky Tiger
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As someone who got Karate training from a very young age, (~5) I find it pretty easy to push, punch and mawashigiri people, op.
Same here man, like for example I meet someone at college in class and we talk throughout the entire semester, but the next semester I see them and I avoid them. It's messed up, but I can't help it! It's just how I'm wired as a person and yeah I do feel guilty most of the time when I do that. Hmmm well I believe we should, I mean how else are we going to have consistently good friendships and relationships.
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I have that problem, but don't consider it a problem anymore. I've accepted who I am and most of the outcomes that go along with that behavior.
But the the fact that you consider it a problem indicates that you're unhappy with the outcomes.
Ask yourself what you want that you aren't getting: close friends? Intimate relationship?
Identifying what you want might encourage you to pay attention to your behaviors that sabotage those goals.
They might be subconscious behaviors, but when you look for them, you will see them.
Good luck
But the the fact that you consider it a problem indicates that you're unhappy with the outcomes.
Ask yourself what you want that you aren't getting: close friends? Intimate relationship?
Identifying what you want might encourage you to pay attention to your behaviors that sabotage those goals.
They might be subconscious behaviors, but when you look for them, you will see them.
Good luck