First chapter
(In Itachi's room. Also, Zetsu won't appear in this chapter, or Konan.)
Lea: Lea groaned lightly as she placed both of her hands through her sandy blonde hair groaning. Why did she feel like there was a brick smashing down on her head? Opening her eyes, she sat up slowly. Her green orbs gazed around as she saw that she wasn’t…in her room. The walls were black and…everything was just creepy. There was a dresser, a closet and a bathroom. Looking to her left, she saw Luna resting peacefully. “What the ****? OH SHIT! DID WE GET KID--LUNA BUN! WAKE UP!” Lea spazzed suddenly as she moved her hands to the girl and shook her violently. “WE’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED! And we have been forced to sleep together!!"
Itachi: Itachi was sitting in a chair that was pressed against the dark cave walls as he sipped his tea quietly. He and Kisame had kidnapped the two girls that were involved with Orochimaru. It was an easy mission and he was sure that he would gain information from the girl’s once they have awakened. His crimson eyes glanced to the side that led to the hallway when a loud voice could be heard. “Kisame, go check on them.” He said dully before continuing sipping his tea.
Tobi: “Deidara-Sempai! I didn’t mean too!” Before he could say another word Deidara chased him out into the kitchen. “Itachi-sama! Tell Deidara-Sempai to be nice!” The man with the orange swirl like mask complained before hiding behind Kisame. “Tobi is a good boy!” The other said in his defense before pausing. “Oh! The girl’s are up! I wanna go see them!”
Deidara: “I said get the **** out of my room!!!” Deidara shouted loudly as he chased the masked man into the kitchen. “Stop being stupid! You messed me up on this bomb I was creating you idiot!!! Kisame! Move!” The blonde demanded as he tried to chase Tobi, but the masked ninja ran away towards Itachi’s room where their captures were.
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Luna: She groaned loudly as her loud friend roused her from her slumber. "Leaaaa," she whined. "Shut uuuupp. I wanna slee--wait. Did you say we were kidnapped?" she realized and shot up. "Dude. Isn't this like the second time we've been kidnapped?" Luna questioned the blonde. The brunette was then suddenly hit with a throbbing pain in the back of her head. Gently, she felt the back of her head with her hand and hissed in pain when she noticed there was a very large bump on her head. "Whoever the **** hit me in the head better start running before I neuter them," the girl growled.
Kisame: The blue man stared at Deidara with a manic grin. "Say please," he said with a sadistic look on his face. But, hearing Itachi, he unfortunately had to leave his fun behind. "Fine fine, I'll go. Don't have too much fun without me," he said with a backhanded wave and left the room to find room the snake's pets were currently residing in.
Hidan: "KAKUZU! WHERE THE **** IS MY HAIR GEL?" a wet, angry looking Hidan shouted at the zombie man with a towel wrapped around his waist. Apparently he'd just gotten out of the shower. "I am ****ing sick and tired of you moving my ****ing shit around all the time! Sharing a room with you doesn't give you permission to touch my things you money grubbing *******! Especially if my shit happens to be expensive!"
Kakuzu: "Your hair gel is in the bathroom, where you left it, dumbass," the man replied with a scoff. "And I doubt your hair gel is that expensive or I wouldn't let you buy it.” He was currently sitting on his bed reading a book by the only lamp within the room, shedding minimal light, but that was only because Kakuzu felt that adding more light into a room was wasting electricity and therefore money that could be used for other, better things.
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Lea: “I told you we were kidnapped!” Lea whined at her friend as Luna plopped down onto the bed muttering about neutering someone. “Well, they better be sexy.” Lea said with a nod before getting off the bed quickly, but when she did, she felt lightheaded. “****…brain…stop playing poker with my blood cells!” Once she felt like she could walk the blonde haired girl skittered over to the door. Grabbing the doorknob she had turned it slowly. Seconds later, she yanked the door open and jumped outside the room. “OKAY WHO DECIDED TO KID--nap…us…Kisame…oh…my…****ing…FISH STICK!” Lea without any hesitation leaped at the tall blue man and gave him a huge hug despite…it was hard since she was so short. “Okay, I forgive you!”
Itachi: Itachi was ignoring Deidara and Tobi with their constant arguing as he sighed mentally. Sometimes he wished he could just lock them up in a closet. It got…very…annoying after a while. He raised his eyes up from his cup when the same girl who shouted earlier…could be heard again. “…” Why would someone be so happy to hug someone who helped kidnap you? Not to mention she knew his name. It didn’t surprise him that much since they heard that these girls had a lot of knowledge about their world.
Tobi: “Kis--Deidara-Sempai! Stop chasing me!” Tobi wailed as he ran down the hallway where Kisame could be seen being attacked by the short blonde haired girl. Thinking quickly, he jetted inside Itachi’s room and jumped onto the bed where the other girl was. “Hello!” Tobi greeted her happily.
Deidara: “I’m not saying please!!” Deidara snapped at Kisame as the blue haired man left and Tobi ran into Itachi’s room. “Ugh, you’re so annoying, un.” Deidara groaned heavily before heading back into his room. “Hidan! Why don’t you be a little louder!?” Deidara shouted at the silver haired man when the religious ninja could be heard from the room.
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Luna: "I should hope they're sexy, it might save them fro--" she was cut off as she watched Lea run out of the room and into a familiar looking blue man. "Wait did she just say KISAME?!" she shouted excitedly and was suddenly surprised when an orange, swirly mask appeared in front of her face. With a startled yelp, her flight instincts took over and she scrambled to get away and ended up falling off the bed. "****ing ow," she groaned.
Kisame: Kisame, mistaking her awe for fear, was grinning manically. His expression was, however, immediately replaced with shock and confusion when she called him fish stick and proceeded to glomp him. Tightly. The ****?! With a visibly confused expression, he looked down at the weird blonde hugging him and said intelligibly, "Uh..."
Hidan: "SHUT THE **** UP BLONDIE! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM A TRANSSEXUAL!" Hidan shouted back, feeling angrier as well as stupider because Kakuzu was, in fact, correct in that his hair gel was in the bathroom. With a disgruntled murmuring under his breath he squeezed a large glob into his hand ran it through his thick, silver locks. Grabbing his change of clothes and swiftly putting them on, he exited the bathroom and decided to go into Itachi's room to see the new, temporary females of the Akatsuki.
Kakuzu: "See?" Kakuzu said to his partner smugly. "I told you." His response was rewarded by the universal one-fingered salute, simply causing his grin to grow wider.
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Lea: “Yeah! I said Kisame! I AM HUGGING KIS--OH SHIT TOBI!” Lea had turned her head so quick it looked like it could have easily snapped off. Peering inside the room with her arms still remaining around the shark, she frowned. “Aw…Luna bun went boom.” However she instantly turned her head when she could hear Deidara shouting. Wait…when did he get there? Before she could question herself…Hidan…came…out…of…the…room. Releasing her arms from Kisame she stared at the silver haired man. “Holy shit…, not like shit can be holy, but HOLY ****ING SHITASTIC SHIT! HIDAN!” Before she could attack Hidan she turned to Kisame and grinned. “Pardon me Kisame, but I have too assault Hidan before I explode and all of you eat my organs!” With that said she ran over to the silver haired man and glomped him. “Hello there you evil immortal son of a bitch that I adore!”
Itachi: Itachi groaned heavily when Tobi took off into his room, so he placed his cup onto the table. Getting up from the chair he strolled over to where the commotion was happening. He ignored the blonde haired girl’s idiocy and headed inside his room. Once Itachi was inside his room his crimson orbs shot over to the brunette who just had landed on the floor because of Tobi. “Tobi, get out of my room.” He scowled at the other as he walked over to the girl. “Are you okay?” He asked simply not because he cared…, but just in general.
Tobi:“Tobi is sorry, Tobi is a good boy!” He whined a bit as the girl had fallen off of the bed. He was just about to make sure if she was alright when Itachi came in. “Yes Itachi-Sama.” Tobi nodded at the other before leaving the room. Seeing an angry Deidara, he disappeared and appeared behind him. “If you keep frowning like that, you’ll get wrinkles!”
Deidara: “Who are you calling a transsexual you religious freak!?” Deidara was about to shout at Hidan when he came out of his room, but Tobi appeared behind him. “Oh shut up!” He grunted before he stormed off into his room and shut the door.
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Luna: With her legs still on the bed and her back lying vertically with the side of the bed, she gently removed herself from the awkward position and her legs landed on the floor with a loud thump. Groaning in pain, she helped herself up, using the bed as support, and stared into a pair of crimson eyes. She froze. "Sexy.. overload.. must.. not.. fangirl.. Oh **** it. ITACHI-SAMA!!!" she shrieked with joy and tackled him to the ground. "It's like a dream come true!" the brunette squealed.
Kisame: "That was just ****ing weird," Kisame said to himself, scratching the side of his head in confusion, watching the blonde scamper off to assault said religious ninja then grinned. "But awesome. I like this girl. She's a riot." It was actually pretty hilarious to see Hidan practically tackled to the ground by some midget civilian. In excitement nonetheless. He felt like a celebrity with all attention that was being passed around.
Hidan: "HEY! I MAY BE RELIGIOUS BUT AT LEAST I DON'T TAKE HOURS TO DO MY ****ING HAIR!" he retorted and was about to add to his shouting fest with Deidara when he was suddenly interrupted. "The ****?!" Hidan exclaimed as he was literally knocked off his feet by some weird blonde who started hugging him. "Who the **** are you and get the **** off me you stupid bitch!" he shouted at her while trying to pry the girl off of him. The ironic thing was that it was actually really hard because she had a grip like a ****ing Rottweiler. "****ing Jashin-sama, get the **** off me!"
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Itachi: Itachi had given the girl a very confused look when she started to mumble something before he was instantly attacked to the ground. “Gah!” Itachi shouted as his back hit the ground while the girl was hugging him. What the hell was wrong with these girls?! The blonde was just an insane little woman and this one…just needed to get off of him. “Get off of me now.” Itachi gritted through his teeth as he resist the urge to push her off of him roughly. If he hurt the girls, Pein would get on him, so he couldn’t really do much.
Tobi: “Whoa! Tobi thinks that Blondie number two likes to hug!” Tobi said with a childish laugh as he was now standing besides Kisame. “I like these girls! They seem fun!” The masked man nodded excitedly as he nudged Kisame with his elbow. “What do you think?” He asked curiously, but a hint of playfulness still remained in his tone of voice.
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Luna: She felt slightly disheartened, but it wasn't really his fault he felt that way. He didn't know her so of course he'd want her to get off. With a heavy sigh, she replied dejectedly, "Fine.." and got off him. Spotting Lea on top of Hidan, she squealed loudly in joy. "HIDAN!" And with that loud war cry, she flew through the air until her arms were wrapped securely around his torso, from his side of course, in a tight hug.
Kisame: Kisame laughed loudly. "Looks like Hidan is quite the ladies man," the blue man teased his religious teammate. Looking towards Tobi, he shrugged. "They're entertaining. Doesn't mean I won't kill 'em though. It'd be a shame to but we can always find entertainment elsewhere. Like in a certain cross dresser."
Hidan: "Elf bitch? Kidnapping? The ****? I don't remember kidnapping anyone!" he yelled back. "Whoever the **** brought you here will be sacrificed to Jashin-sama I swear!" His feelings towards sacrificing whoever brought these hellions upon him increased ten fold when he was practically having the life squeezed out of him by a short brunette. "ALL OF YOU GET THE **** OFF ME!" Noticing Kisame laughing at him, he roared, "THE **** IS SO FUNNY FISH BOY?!"
Kakuzu: The zombie man emerged from the room he was sharing with his partner and said, "Shut up Hidan. No one cares about your problems." And went back inside to finish his book.
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Itachi: Itachi had waited patiently for the brown-haired woman to release him from her grasp and when she did, he sighed to himself mentally. Pushing himself off the floor, he stood up and brushed off his Akatsuki robe. Muttering a few profound words, he walked out of the room just in time to hear Hidan’s comment. “You’ll sacrifice ‘who’ to that idiotic god of yours?” Itachi asked in a bitter tone as his eyes remained cold on the silver haired man who was being attacked by the girls.
Lea: “STOP SHOUTING LIKE YOUR BALLS IS BEING RIPPED OFF BY A CHIPMUNK!” Lea shouted in the man’s face as he continued to shout like no other. “Also! I am NOT getting off unless you make me a salad you --LUNA BUN!” Lea cheered excitedly when Luna came over and attacked Hidan in a hug as well. Before she could let another word escape her lips, Kisame’s comment stopped her. Frowning lightly, she pushed herself off Hidan. “Your turn to squeeze him to death Luna.” Lea said with a laugh before skittering over to Kisame as she grabbed a hold of his arm. “Aw, c’mon! Don’t kill us! Please!” The girl said with a pouty expression that a child would use on their parents.
Deidara: Deidara was still in his room working on his clay birds when he heard something about a cross dresser, so he shouted. “I HEARD THAT FISH BAIT!” Deidara shouted as loud as he could before continuing his artwork.
Tobi: “Oh yes! Tobi thinks so too! They flock to hi--Oh! Itachi-Sama!” Tobi gasped a bit when the Uchiha came out of the room looking rather annoyed. However, he looked back up at Kisame and frowned. “Aw, but we need more girls around here!” He said to the tall blue ninja before snickering a little when the blonde haired girl came over. “Tobi thinks that you should listen to her!” He nodded as he looked over at Kakuzu. “Teehee.”
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Luna: She squealed happily as Hidan made no attempts to push her off of him. And, once given permission from Lea, she now had full reign to completely assault the silver haired man. Looking down at his torso, she whistled lowly. "Wow. You really are too sexy for your shirt aren't you?" she grinned widely. Hearing Kisame's comment kind of brought her back to the reality that they might just really die here. Well ****, that would suck. With this realization, she slowly released her grip on Hidan and scampered back to Lea, hanging close by her.
Kisame: "Sorry kid," he grinned toothily, showing off his pointed teeth. "But if it's ordered, it must be done. Can't upset Leader can we?" Hearing the blonde's comment, he retorted, "SAYS THE GUY WHO NEARLY GOT EATEN BY A SHARK WHEN WE WENT FISHING LAST SUMMER!"
Hidan:"'Bout ****ing time you got off me," he grumbled, standing up and brushing off his robes in a disgruntled manner. "And shut the **** up Kakuzu! No one cares to listen to YOU either!" he shouted at the closed door to his room.
Pein: "Will you all shut up already? Thanks to the lot of you I now have a headache." Thus, of course, all the yelling has caused their one and only leader, Pein, to emerge from his quarters. Immediately everyone went silent as they all stared up at him. Thankfully, with his commanding authority, he was able to have this wonderful effect on them all which was useful when he wanted them to be quiet, seeing as most of them acted like stupid children.
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(Dun dun dun Pein has arrived. Will they all finally shut the heck up? ;D )
End of the first chapter. :'D
