Tenth Chapter: Attack Of The Stitches
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Hidan's Brilliant Idea
:Summary of the last chapter:
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Hidan's Brilliant Idea
:Summary of the last chapter:
In the previous chapter Tobi had heard from Noru that Hidan and Lea were being friendly. Tobi being Tobi misunderstood what little Noru had said and came up with his own insane theory that Hidan and Lea were dating. (Sooo not true.) Luna doesn’t believe him not one bit. Meanwhile Lea is demanding for Hidan to get her a cat. Not to mention Itachi is about to spill the beans to Kakuzu.
(Also for a heads up you will hear a new name being mentioned in this chapter. She is one of my Ocs, but she won’t be brought in just yet. Just try to keep her name in the back of your head. X3)
(Continuing where I had left off before~)
Lea: “Sheesh if you flatter yourself a bit more your ego could make everyone explode around you!” Lea had shouted with a roll of her eyes. Yes Hidan was an attractive man, but it was annoying when someone flaunted it around like Hidan just did. It just made them seem less attractive and more…annoying. Lea pulled out of her thoughts when Hidan claimed that he was not a manwhore. “Are you sure about that? You sure do act like one.” The girl said with a grin before looking down at her wrist when Hidan finally let it go. Lea moved her other hand to rub the spot where it was throbbing. Lea was about to scold Hidan, but he had threatened NOT to get her a kitty cat. “NOOO!!! YOU WILL GET ME A CAT!!” Lea grabbed the man’s cloak and attempted to shake him as she shook her head left and right. “I WANT A KITTY! HIDAN WILL GIVE LEA A KITTY!!! GIVE HER A KITTY NOW!!!” The girl whined loudly.
Hidan: "Good. Maybe that'll get rid of the annoying members of this ****ing organization," he grumbled. Crossing his arms, he glared at Lea. "I do not act like a manwhore. I'm just ****ing joking around. Is that a crime now or something? Seriously--LET ME GO WOMAN AND STOP YELLING IN MY ****ING EAR!" he suddenly roared when she grabbed him by the front of his cloak and started shaking him. "If you keep ACTING this way then I really WON'T get you a ****ing cat SO SHUT THE **** UP!"
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Luna: She rolled her eyes. "I think the one in denial is you, Tobi. Lea. HATES. Hidan. No exceptions. And Hidan dislikes her just as much. Again, the only reason why she even hangs around him is to annoy him half to hell." The girl frowned and narrowed her eyes at Tobi. "As true as that may be, I don't foresee a relationship budding between those two. At least not a favorable one."
Tobi: The masked man had frowned as the woman said that Lea wouldn’t lie and how Noru could have made a mistake. Noo! He was positive that Noru was positive! “Hidan is fun to annoy…, but I don’t think that is the only reason why she is hanging around him!” The male protested as Luna put up a stubborn front about Lea not liking Hidan and how it was impossible for those two to be together. “You know there is a fine line between love and hate!” Tobi said with a nod as he used a finger to tap his mask. “Tobi thinks you are in denial and don’t want to agree with me!”
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Itachi: The man felt himself sigh mentally and cursed to himself as Kakuzu was glaring his way. Why did he have to tell him Luna bought it for him? Now Kakuzu was going to go on a rampage if he told him the truth. Then again…it wasn’t like it was going to affect him. “Lea and Luna wanted to go shopping and went to buy presents with your money. They put whatever change they had back though.”
Kakuzu: He could feel his blood boiling. No one touched his ****ing money except for him or Pein-sama. NO one. Once he finished his bowl of chopped liver, he set it aside and stood slowly. Looking down over to Itachi, he said in a dangerously quiet tone, "Thank you for informing me of this.. matter. It will be dealt with swiftly." With those threatening words lingering in the air, he made his way into the kitchen and spotted Lea. Reaching over to the woman, he removed her from Hidan and slammed her against the wall, growling menacingly, "How DARE you take my money you worthless little *****."
Itachi: The raven haired male raised a brow when Kakuzu thanked him before informing him that he was going to take care of it. This wasn’t going to end well. No matter how calmly Kakuzu had just spoken he was obviously livid. Itachi heard Kakuzu from the kitchen, but decided not to go in. It was their problem now.
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Tobi: The male gasped when Luna had accused him being in denial. “Tobi is NOT in denial!” The boy said as he flailed his arms in the air as the woman continued to rant. Tobi was going to comment, but he heard shouting coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t your typical Lea or Hidan shouting either. It was coming from Kakuzu. Tobi grabbed Luna’s hand and poked his head slightly in the kitchen doorway when Lea was suddenly slammed to the wall. Oh no! Why was Kakuzu going to hurt Lea? He thought they got along in a way. “Why is he saying hurtful words to Lea? I don’t get it!” The boy whispered towards Luna.
Luna: She turned away from Tobi as her attention was soon distracted by a commotion coming from the kitchen. First she'd heard Lea and Hidan arguing, no surprise there, but when she heard Kakuzu, she froze. A white pallor took hold of her face as she rushed over to the entrance of the kitchen, looking on in horror as Kakuzu attacked her friend.
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Lea: “I’M NOT YELLING IN YOUR EAR! I’M TOO SHORT TO REACH YOUR EAR TO YELL IN!!” Lea shouted loudly, as she instantly stopped shaking Hidan as he threatened to not give her the cat once more. “Finee--AH!” The girl was suddenly pulled away from Hidan and before she knew it she was slammed against the wall. Pain had rushed through her body as she winced when someone started yelling at her. Lea blinked up towards the face when she noticed it was stitches. Oh no! ITACHI TOLD HIM DIDN’T HE?! That weasel!! “K-Kakuzu!! Please let me go!! We just wanted to buy some…small presents! They weren’t anything expensive I swear! PLEASEE let me go!! I’M SORRY!!” Ugh this sucked ass. MAJOR ****ING ass.
Hidan: He was a little relieved that she stopped yelling and shaking him, but a growing horror overcame him as he realized his partner looked about ready to kill Lea. "****," he swore under his breath and rushed over to Kakuzu, yanking the male off of Lea and tossing him away from her. "HEY! NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO KILL THAT BITCH BUT ME, GOT IT ****FACE?!" he yelled at Kakuzu. He moved himself into a position where he was standing between Kakuzu and Lea, standing almost protectively.
Kakuzu: He growled loudly and was about bash her head against the wall when he felt himself suddenly flying through the air and hit the kitchen floor with a grunt. Pulling himself to his feet, he spat, "What the ****, Hidan?! She spent my money! I have every right to kill that stupid woman!"
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Tobi: The male had frowned deeply under his mask at the scene displayed before them. However he blinked when Hidan out of nowhere pushed Kakuzu away and defended Lea. Well, not necessarily defend her, but claim that HE was the only one allowed to kill her. Tobi smirked under the mask before poking Luna. “I tolddd you.” If Hidan hated Lea why else would he stand in front of her so protectively?
Luna: Her horror soon turned to astonishment as Hidan not only shoved Kakuzu off of Lea, but stood between them to protect her. What the ****?! Her jaw dropped in shock and she was soon snapped out of her stupor when she felt Tobi poking into her side. Still feeling flabbergasted, she said, "Well.. then maybe it's just one-sided? Or Hidan's feeling guilty about nearly strangling m--" She smacked her hand over her mouth and looked away. Oops. No one was supposed to know about that.
Tobi: The masked man grinned under his mask as Luna looked like a lost puppy as of right now. Tobi pulled out of his thoughts when Luna said something about strangling. Frowning, he tilted his head to the side. “Guilty about strangling…what? Tobi doesn’t understand.” The male said as he pulled Luna away from the kitchen entrance for now. “Tobi wants to know what happened!” The male nodded continuously.
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Lea: The girl stared at Kakuzu just hoping that he would release her and let her go with a warning. She highly doubt that would happen, but she could hope for it god dammit!! Lea was pulled from her thoughts when Hidan had pulled Kakuzu off of her. She really had a mind****ed moment as of right now. Lea half expected Hidan to sit back and enjoy the show, but NO, he pulled Kakuzu away. Odd. No…one was allowed to kill her, but him? Who the hell made him in charge on who is allowed to kill her?! Lea placed both hands on Hidan’s arm before poking her head out from behind him. “Kakuzu! I said I was SORRY!! I won’t do it again without your permission!! Please don’t be mad!” Yeah, asking him not to be mad was like asking Itachi if he had a sense of humor.
Hidan: "Hey! I had dibbs on her first! We had to ****ing FIND the stupid girls which was a chore and a half all by itself! So quit ****ing complaining; it's not like we're broke or something you dumbshit," the male snapped irritably. "We can always ask Hizoku to get us more missions or something anyway."
Kakuzu: He scowled. "Yes, but she also gets a cut of that pay as well which means we get less money. Meaning that our spending should be cut substantially as well so we don't run out. You don't seem to understand, Hidan," he hissed, "that money doesn't grow on trees. We don't have as much as you think we do so any extra spending is out of the question."
Lea: The blond haired girl stared at both men as they started to argue then some random name was brought up. Eh? Who the hell was Hizoku?? There wasn’t a Hizoku in the show…was there? The girl asked herself before shaking loose from her thoughts before looking at Kakuzu. “I’ll pay you back? Somehow…” Where the hell was SHE going to get money? It wasn’t like she could shit them out of her ass. Then again it would be covered in poop…so Kakuzu probably wouldn’t accept it anyways. Or…would he? “All I can say is that I’m sorry Stitches. Also…is it safe to come out from behind Hidan…? Or are you still going to try and rip me apart?” Heh better safe than sorry.
Hidan: "I wouldn't advise it, Lea," he muttered just loud enough for her to hear him. "Not unless you have a death wish. And anyway Kakuzu," he continued a little louder, "it doesn't ****ing matter how much money we have. It's not like we actually have to buy anything anyway. We can just take whatever the **** we want and no one can do anything about it. We're ****ing ninja's for Jashin's sake."
Kakuzu: He rolled his eyes. "That's not the point, Hidan. And you'd be acting like an imbecile by doing something so tactless. We use the money so don't we blow our disguises when we actually USE them. We don't want to be tactless when going under cover, get it dumbass?" the male folded his arms with an almost exasperated look on his face. They'd been through this kind of argument before and it was always frustrating when Hidan didn't seem to understand. He was more of the 'kill first ask questions never' type of person and it was very irritating.
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Luna: "Ah, wait!" she protested as Tobi began dragging her away from the kitchen. When Tobi asked, or demanded rather, to know what had happened, she was about to shake her head no when she realized that would probably hurt her bruise. "No no nothing happened!" she said a little too quickly.
Tobi: “Tobi thinks Luna is lying!” The male had whined as he pointed his index finger towards the woman. It was obvious she was lying by the way she responded so quickly. “Did big foot Hidan hurt Luna!?” Tobi asked with a whine before something caught his eye. There was a bandage on her neck. Stepping closer, he brushed some of her hair away from her neck to show the bandage. “See! You are lying!!” The male said as he took a step back from the woman as he pouted under the mask.
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Lea: The blonde haired girl had let out a small whine when Hidan warned her not to move from behind him. Was Kakuzu seriously THAT pissed? They just bought…a duck…a stuffed animal and pink clay. It was probably around twelve dollars in total. It would be different if they spent fifty dollars on something. Ugh Kakuzu needed to go to rehab or something. Did they even have rehab in the ninja world? “Stitches!” Lea called out to get his attention since he seemed to ignore her the first time. “I am sorry about all of this I am! Can’t we just drop it please?” The woman begged hoping Kakuzu would have a heart. HELL he had more than one ****ing heart so he better!
Hidan: He sighed heavily and was beginning to agree with Lea. "Can we just drop it, you money grubbing *******? What's done is done and getting pissed about it is a ****ing waste of time," the male replied with a hint of exasperation to his tone.
Kakuzu: About to retort back, he hesitated. Hidan had a point, for once in his life, but that didn't mean he had to like it. "Can't we at least punish them or something?" he asked sullenly.
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Luna: "I-I'm not lying!" she stammered, just digging her grave even deeper. There was no way she was going to get away with lying now. She was a pretty bad liar under pressure anyway so it came to no real surprise. When Tobi pointed to the bandage round her neck, she knew that it was about hopeless now. But that didn't stop her from trying to get out of it. "No!" the girl cried out. "It was.. self inflicted!" ....It was actually fairly believable where she was concerned since she could be such a klutz at times.
Tobi: “Self inflicted?! LUNA! That isn’t a good thing to do!! Plus…how do you hurt yourself…on the neck? That is a weird place to get injured.” He still was still quite suspicious about the bandage and had a feeling she was still lying, but maybe she wasn’t. Who knew? Either way he wasn’t going to stop asking questions. The male smirked under the mask before using a finger to tap his mask gently. “Hmm Tobi still thinks you may be lyinggg.”
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Lea: SWEET! Hidan was agreeing with her! Hopefully hell wasn’t freezing over right now. Poor Satan. Lea frowned at Kakuzu when he had whined about being able to still punish them. “Luna has already been punished and I agreed to already do whatever Hidan says for a week. Right Hidan?” The last part was a lie, so she nudged Hidan in the back with her hand to kind of hint that. Hopefully Hidan didn’t take it literally and decide that he would want her to do whatever he said because that was NOT going to happen.
Hidan: He had a guilty expression when she talked about Luna already being punished, when she mentioned something about herself doing whatever he wanted her to for a week, he perked up. "I did?" he asked aloud. Then realizing the pros and cons to this idea, an evil grin tugged at his lips. "Oh.. that's right. I think I do recall something like that."
Kakuzu: He looked a bit suspicious, but realized there wasn't much he could do and sighed. "Whatever. But that girl better replace the money that was lost somehow," he said with a final glare in her direction and walked out of the kitchen.
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Luna: It was actually working?! Well, Tobi still suspected she was lying, but at least it was a fairly believable lie and it wasn't as if he could prove that she didn't do this to herself. Wait, a witness! She'd already discussed with Itachi about how she didn't want everyone knowing, so maybe he'd back her up! "I'm not lying I swear! Ask Itachi, he was there when it happened!" the girl said, nodding her head with a smile.
Tobi: “He was?” Tobi asked as he tilted his head to the side when Luna informed him that Itachi saw what happened. “Well if that is the case then ask him in front of me!” Itachi rarely lie, and he doubt Itachi would lie for Luna, sooo this was a good chance to see if she was lying or not! Tobi grabbed Luna’s hand and tugged her down the hallway and towards the den. Itachi was still there watching television, so it was perfect. “Itachi Sempai! Did Luna hurt herself on her neck?”
Itachi: The raven haired male was leaning against the couch as he flipped through the TV channels out of boredom. There was never anything good on. What was the point of getting a TV if there wasn’t anything decent to watch? Itachi pulled out of his thoughts when Tobi and Luna entered the room. Ahh, he noticed the bandage. “Yes, she hurt herself. Why does it matter?” Itachi lied since he did not feel like getting into the whole situation that happened. Tobi would whine to Pein, and it would just be annoying.
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Lea: “I will!” Lea shouted to Kakuzu as he gave them a look before leaving the kitchen somewhat annoyed. Lea walked out from behind Hidan and hugged his arm. “It worked! I am alive…and…IT WORKED! Also, thanks for saving my ass. I kind of half expected you to sit back and enjoy the show.” Lea pointed out before releasing Hidan’s arm. “Also…I am NOT going to do whatever you say so don’t think that I will. It was just to drive Kakuzu away.”
Hidan: He rolled his eyes. "I only saved you because of what I said earlier. Only I'm allowed to kill you. No exceptions." Watching as she came out from behind his back, he turned to her with a grin similar to that of a Cheshire cat. "Oh? Is that what you think? Well, here's the thing, dear Lea. Now that Kakuzu knows the 'specifics' behind the punishment, he's going to remember them. You see, he has the memory of an elephant. A very old elephant at that. And if you're not doing as I say in accordance with the 'punishment' you just lied about.. Well you could say that he might find a way to punish you himself instead.."
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Luna: She nodded her head up and down enthusiastically. Yes! He was buying it! But when Tobi said something about asking Itachi himself, she began to get nervous. The idea seemed like a good one at the time, but would he really lie for her? Unfortunately, she wasn't quite able to fully process this thought as Tobi dragged her out into the den where Itachi was watching TV. When he was asked the question he.. actually lied for her.. To say she was in shock was an understatement.
Tobi: In a way he felt almost disappointed when Itachi had confirmed that she did hurt her neck. “Well if Itachi Sempai says that is what happened, that is what happened. Tobi is going to go bug Deidara Sempai now!” With that said he headed out of the den.
Itachi: The male kept his eyes on Tobi as he had spoken before leaving the room. Well that was easy. His eyes darted over to Luna who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “If you are wondering why I lied for you it is only due to the fact that it would cause a lot of trouble if the truth came out. Tobi would report straight to Pein if he found out what happened.” Itachi rolled his eyes before tossing the remote across the room. He was bored with it now.
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Lea: “Pfft Who are you to say who is allowed to kill me? What if I wanted a hobo to kill me?” Lea asked with a roll of her eyes before making a face at Hidan. ****! He was going to be the twisted stupid…BASTARD he was and try to use this to his advantage. Also…were elephants really that smart? Also how would he know? Too much discovery channel maybe? If that…was a channel they got in this world that was. Lea snapped out of her thoughts before stomping her foot on the floor and pouting. “THIS IS BULLSHIT! You might as well have let him kill me!” Lea whined before crossing her arms. “Ya know what…; I’ll do whatever you say…but ONLY around Kakuzu. Also, I don’t cook, clean or do laundry.” Lea snapped. The only reason she was agreeing was because she didn’t want a sock in her mouth like the time Kakuzu did that to Hidan. **** no."Also! Do NOT call me dear!!"
Hidan: "How is this bullshit Lea?" he smirked. "You're the one who came up with that brilliant idea, not me. So you can't blame me for wanting to take full advantage of it." When she said she'd only do what he wanted her to around Kakuzu, he shrugged his shoulders. "I expected that. But at least you get to be my slave," the male chuckled evilly.
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Luna: The girl breathed a sigh of relief as Tobi seemed to accept Itachi's explanation. Thank god. When he left, she turned to look at Itachi and eyes full of gratitude when he told her why he lied. Shaking her head slowly so as not to invoke pain in her neck, she replied, "I don't care about that. I'm just thankful you lied for me. Really. I owe you one. So.. thanks." The girl smiled.
Itachi: The man had let out a low grunt as the girl thanked him for lying for her. It wasn’t like he was doing it for her; he did it so Pein wouldn’t have a cow. Itachi rested his arm on the armrest of the couch. “Fine, you can owe me by go fetching that remote for me.” Itachi told the girl trying to hide his smirk as he glanced over at the girl. It wasn’t like he needed the remote…he just kind of hated when things were out of place. There was a word for it, but he didn’t feel like trying to think of it. Looking over at Luna, he waited to see if she would go and pick it up for him or not.
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Lea: “Yes I can blame you! You don’t have to take advantage of it! But nooo! You and your sadistic ways!” Lea whined loudly as Hidan actually agreed to her only being able to do what he says in front of Kakuzu. Good at least that wasn’t so bad. She just had to avoid being around Kakuzu for a week and Hidan. Somehow. Lea made a face however when the other had spoken. “Call it whatever the **** you want. It is only for ONE god damn week. What the hell are you going to make me do anyways?” Seriously…what was he going to make her do?
Hidan: He snickered. "Hey it's your goddamn fault for coming up with the idea so don't blame me. Besides, if I said something like that you'd be on me like a bitch in heat so don't ****ing complain to me when you'd do the exact same thing." When she asked what he'd do, he began to ponder. What COULD he make her do? He then shrugged and said, "I'll think of something."
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Itachi: The male raised a brow when Luna had made a comment before heading over to where he tossed the remote. She was actually going to get it? Itachi watched in amusement when the girl tossed the remote to him. With ease he caught it in his right hand before setting it down on the coffee table. “Happy? Hardly. It was just an nuisance being over there.” Itachi said with a simple shrug before looking over at her.
Luna: While she did say she owed him one, picking up the remote he just flung into space was not exactly what she had in mind when she said it. Staring at him with a deadpan expression, she sighed and muttered, "Jesus, what am I a slave?" With a resigned expression and a roll of her eyes, she found the remote close to the TV and tossed it over to Itachi. "There. Happy?"
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Lea: “Be on you like a bitch in heat? I thought bitches in heat meant they were ****ing horny and want to mate. I AM NOT HORNY FOR YOU! AND I DO NOT WANT TO PUSH OUT ALIENS BABIES BY YOU!” Lea shouted as she pointed towards Hidan with narrowed eyes. Lea lowered her finger when the other said he would think of something. “Great the longer you think the longer it will probably make me suffer if you are actually putting thought into it.” The girl groaned.
Hidan: He face palmed. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU ****ING RETARD! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALIEN BABIES?! I'M NOT A ****ING ALIEN!" Just because he was immortal did NOT make him an alien! The male started to fume when she continued on with her comment. "That's true," he mused with a sadistic expression. Oh he was going to enjoy this.. Thoroughly.
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Luna: Again, she rolled her eyes and sat down on the opposite side of the couch he was sitting on. "Sure sure. I think you're just using that as an excuse to cover up the fact that you want me to be your slave," she said with a bit of a grin. The brunette knew that wasn't true but she wanted to tease him.
Itachi: “Why would I want you to be my slave?” The man asked with a scoff before rolling his own eyes as well before raising a brow. “So, did you see what happened in the kitchen?” The male asked curiously since Kakuzu was yelling pretty loud, but he couldn’t piece them together since three people were yelling at once. Maybe Luna was nearby and saw what exactly happened.
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Lea: “I didn’t call YOU a ****ing alien! I said the babies! ALL BABIES LOOK LIKE ALIENS WHEN SPEWING OUT THE VAGINA!!” The woman shouted as she felt her eyebrow twitch when Hidan started to get that smug look on his face. The woman stepped in front of him and whacked him in his chest. “Wipe that ****ing pedophile look off of your face you **** ass!”
Hidan: When she says something like that, it's very difficult not to laugh. Needless to say, he did reign in his amusement and stared at her weirdly with a smirk threatening to appear. She whacked his chest rather lightly while calling him a pedophile and he sighed. "I'm not a ****ing pedo, dumbshit. If you're over 18 then I'm not a pedo and I'm pretty sure you're not any younger than that so shut the **** up already."
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Luna: She shrugged. "I dunno. Why do people generally want slaves?" she inquired a bit rhetorically. Usually it's because people want other people to do shit THEY didn't want to do so made someone else do it instead. As for the episode in the kitchen.."I didn't see all of it," she admitted. "But.. the weird thing. Hidan actually protected Lea from Kakuzu," the girl said in a weird, awed, and very confused tone.
Itachi: “I don’t need to answer that since you probably already know the reason.” Itachi scoffed before raising a brow when Luna told him that Hidan actually protected Lea from Kakuzu. Ugh he really hoped Tobi was wrong. “God I hope those two aren’t…together.” That was just a major headache ready to happen. Itachi moved a hand to his forehead and grunted heavily.
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Lea: “You can still be a pedo even if I am going to be twenty soon!” The girl shouted as she placed both hands onto her hips. “Who are you telling to shut the **** up anyways? I can talk all the **** I want! SO HAH!” With that said she had poked Hidan’s chest over and over. Ow it was starting to hurt her hands since his chest was like made out of rocks. "Stupid rock chest." Lea muttered before pulling her hand away.
Hidan: He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If you don't shut up, I'll stuff you into my room, tell Kakuzu that you lied and have HIM deal with you. How's that?" he snapped. "And will you quit poking me dammit?! Seriously."
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Luna: She rolled her eyes. "Well obviously," the girl muttered. Hearing the comment about Hidan and Lea being together, she scoffed. "I doubt they're together. They hate each other. That whole 'him protecting her' deal was just a one time thing." 'I think..' she thought to herself, biting on her bottom lip.
Itachi: Itachi raised a brow towards Luna as she seemed quite confident that the two were not dating. “Now that I think about it…why did Hidan attack you instead of Lea? He is always arguing with her, and yet went straight after you. Now he was defending Lea to Kakuzu?” Itachi asked with a scoff before resting his right leg over the other.
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(End of chapter Ten. I hoped you enjoyed it. XD)
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