Sixth Chapter: Toys and Candles
:Summary of the last chapter:
The girls had been feeling devious and decided to prank some of the fellow Akatsuki members. Luna had put pink dye into Itachi’s shampoo causing his hair to turn pink. (Don’t worry his hair is fine now. XD) Hidan got his gel replaced with pudding, his necklace stolen and writings on his neck. Lea being the weirdo she is had decided to make a clay penis to put on Deidara’s bed.
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(The next day~)
:Summary of the last chapter:
The girls had been feeling devious and decided to prank some of the fellow Akatsuki members. Luna had put pink dye into Itachi’s shampoo causing his hair to turn pink. (Don’t worry his hair is fine now. XD) Hidan got his gel replaced with pudding, his necklace stolen and writings on his neck. Lea being the weirdo she is had decided to make a clay penis to put on Deidara’s bed.
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(The next day~)
Luna: She sighed, sitting backwards on the couch with her head on the couch cushions and her feet dangling over the top. "I'm so booooored," she whined. "Everyone's gone. Pein's doing paperwork (why the hell he does paperwork anyway I'll never figure out) Noru and Kisei are off.. somewhere.. Zetsu's off being a plant. There's never anything to do when everyone's gone." She moaned her complaint to Lea.
Lea: The blonde hair girl was lying on the couch with her legs propped up onto Luna's lap. Everyone was just so god damn ****ing busy! There was NOTHING to do here! Lea pulled from her thoughts when Luna had started to rant. "No ****ing kidding! I hate it here! I want to DO SOMETHING! Run around! Rape a candle! I mean SOMETH--Heyyy...maybe we can chill outside?"
Luna: She snickered. "Rape a candle? That's a nice choice." But upon hearing the idea of going outside, the gears within her mind began to whir. "Hm.. We need to figure out how to get outside first. We could always try Zetsu's little poisonous plant garden thing since it's outside. But if we're even able to get that far without anyone noticing.." She thought about it for a minute. I mean, what are the odds of escaping without being noticed by SOMEBODY? I mean, seriously. They're ninja. But.. still...It was worth a shot. "If we're able to, we should try going to Ame. I mean, it's a village. There should be all sorts of fun stuff we could do."
Lea: "Yes raping a candle can be fun!" Lea said with excitement as she imagined doing such a thing. "Actually...take raping a candle out of the list of things to do. I imagined what I could do to that candle and I felt bad for it." Lea whined, but stopped when Luna mentioned Zetsu's garden. "I guess we could go there, but I'm always afraid I would get eaten by a plant--Ame? The village? That is a good idea! However...we might need money...and stitches...has money."
Luna: She stroked her chin as she imagined a criminal mastermind might if she had a goatee. "Yeah.. And Kakuzu's gone.." An evil smirk graced her lips. Righting herself into a normal position on the couch, she stood up, stretched her limbs a bit, and told Lea, "Well let's get started then. Kakuzu's probably hidden the money somewhere in his room. He'll find out someone took it though. I mean, they're ninja. But meh." She shrugged. "It'll be worth it. And since they're not willing to kill us anymore, we have nothing really to worry about." Thank god for that, she thought to herself in relief.
Lea: The girl had pulled her legs off of Luna's lap when he friend rose from the couch. Sitting up straight, she had then hopped off the couch with a smirk upon her lips. "We could always blame Hidan. I mean the bitch is always whining about getting more gel." Lea laughed loudly before grabbing her friend's wrist and tugging her out of the den and into the hallway. "Soo...where does he keep the money though?" The girl asked with a blank stare.
Luna: "I dunno. That's why we need to get crackin' so we can find it before they get back," she replied, making her way to the zombie duo's room, throwing the door open and delving inside, immediately beginning her search for the cash. It had to be here somewhere. Kakuzu wouldn't carry that much money around on his person because he'd be afraid of it getting stolen or something. Tapping the side of her head, she looked around, searching drawers or anything that could hold money inside it. Exhaling in frustration when her search came empty so far, she scowled. "Damn. Come onnn it's gotta be in here somewhere!" she whined.
Lea: Lea had stepped inside the room while watching Luna search around for the money. "Hmm..." Lea strolled over to the bed and checked under his pillow, but nothing was there but a cute little lint ball. Aw it was so cute. "OKAY Lea FOCUS!" Yelling at herself out loud, she ran across the room to check the boy's closet. "Oh! Luna! Check under the mattress!" Lea suggested while roaming through clothes.
Luna: She rolled her eyes. "Why would an evil criminal hide their money under the ma--holy shit it's actually under there!" the girl replied in astonishment as, low and behold, she lifted up the mattress and found a bag jingling with coins and it felt like bills were also inside. Grabbing the bag by the strings, she brought it out and set it on the bed, opening it, and grabbing half the wads and a large handful of coins. She wasn't sure on the currency since they'd never really been to any villages before (except Konoha but that was when they'd been kidnapped while with the Sound) so never had any opportunity to spend money. "I hope I grabbed enough. I just don't wanna grab too much and have zombie man pissed at me," the girl muttered.
Lea: Lea was searching through Kakuzu's pants when she heard Luna's comment. "It is there?! HELL TO THE **** OF THE YEAH!" Lea laughed as she stormed out of the closet and shut the door behind her. Skipping over to where Luna was her green eyes had peered down at her friend. "Seriously! We don't need him tying you to the bed and putting a sock in you--oooh kinky." Lea snickered before pushing the thought away. "Anyways, shall we get going Luna before someone catches us?"
Luna: Shoving the money into her pants pocket, she nodded, opting to leave behind the cloaks because, whether or not they're on good terms with Ame, she didn't feel comfortable wearing them because it could only get them into trouble. They weren't technically shinobi and it'd be a pretty bad idea if they came across someone who wasn't so favorable to the Akatsuki. Voicing this idea to Lea, she said, "You should leave your cloak too so we don't get in trouble or something."
Lea: The girl moved both hands into her hair as she watched her friend stash the money into her pocket. "Aww!! I like wearing them! They smell good make us look sexy..., but I suppose you are right..." The girl frowned before heading out of the room. "Come Luna bun! Let us escapeeee!"
Luna: The girl grinned and nodded and made her way out of the room. Now to find Zetsu's greenhouse.. She stopped in the middle of the hallway, looking left and right. This place WAS practically a maze after all. She just had to remember how the hell to get to that stupid greenhouse. Scratching her head in confusion, she looked around then to Lea and asked sheepishly, "Do you remember where Zetsu's greenhouse thing is? I can't remember.."
Lea: As the two friends made their way into the hallway, she had noticed the look on Luna's face. The girl was just about to ask Luna what was wrong, but the girl had made a reply. "Oooh. I think the back door in the kitchen leads to it. I remember Tobi going through it before to find Zetsu." Lea said with a thoughtful look.
Luna: "Through the kitchen.." she contemplated. Then memory dawned on her and she smacked the side of her face as if she couldn't believe her stupidity. "Duh. I can't believe I forgot that! Let's go Lea!" Grabbing the girl's hand, they made their way through the hideout and finally came across the kitchen. Looking around to make sure no one was onto what they were doing, they went through the back door and were immediately greeted by a wave of heat. It wasn't surprising. It was a greenhouse after all. There appeared to be a large selection of plants, most of them poisonous, the brunette assumed. Some of them were certainly pretty, but she didn't have much of a death wish so refused to go near them. Now just to find a way through this dreaded jungle...
Lea: "Hehe! Don't worry it--GAH! Lunaa!" Lea cried out when her friend grabbed her hand and had pulled her down the hallway. The girl was so dizzy by how fast her friend was running with her being dragged along side the other. As they finally made their way into the kitchen, she had blinked. "About timeee." Lea whispered as Luna had then pulled her out of the back door. "OH ****ING A!! It is soooo hot! Ugh! I could cook eggs up in this bitch!" The girl cried out before glancing around for some kind of door. "Do you see anything? Ugh I wish I had my glasses..."
Luna: She shook her head. "No.. not really. I'm afraid to go through any of these plants but I don't see much of a path.." She sighed. "Great. Well.. we'll just have to test our luck and hope we don't die. We haven't died yet, surprisingly enough, hopping between the Sound, Konoha, and the Akatsuki," the girl muttered. It truly was a miracle they haven't been killed yet. One could say it might be perhaps.. divine intervention. She hoped that was the case at least. "Uh.. I'll let you lead. You seem to have more luck than I do when it comes to things like this..."
Lea: "True enough." Lea sighed as she tried to find some kind of way out of the Zetsu's little house of joy. Lea had pulled from her thoughts when Luna had spoken to her. "Why meeee?" The girl whined, but decided she might as well. "Just try not to touch any of these plants. Who knows what is safe or not." With that said the blonde haired girl started to move left and make her way through all of the plants. Some in which she recognized since she took horticulture class and learned a few about plants. After a while of roaming around in what appeared to be a circle, she had spotted a door covered in vines. "Luna! I think that is it!" Lea said as she dashed towards the door.
Luna: "I certainly don't, I never took horticulture or anything so I know absolutely zero," the girl muttered, dodging over each plant as best she could. Stepping lightly, she saw the tiny clearing near the door and nearly sighed with relief. "Thank god.." She was about to reach for the door when she heard a sound behind her. Fear shot through her and she whipped around, looking left and right but only finding Lea. Relaxing a bit, she turned her wary eyes back to the door. There was definitely someone watching them, but she didn't know who. Either way, they were caught and if they were going to get away with going to Ame, they'd need to leave. Quickly. Grabbing the door handle and throwing it open, she shoved Lea out the door and followed her shutting the door behind her.
Lea: The girl had glanced around when she thought she had heard some movement, but decided to ignore it. The girl was about to say something until she was shoved out of the door. "WAAAH! Lunaaa!" Lea whined when shoved out. "Give me a little warning next time please?"
Kisei: Ever since he saw the girls heading towards the kitchen, he had decided to follow them. They seemed to be up to something fishy. As he entered the greenhouse, he hid behind some plants. When Luna turned around, he ducked down. '****.' Peeking his head out from behind a plant, he watched as the girls left. "The hell?" Standing up, he ran back into the kitchen and out of the room as well. Heading down the hallway, he had bumped into Hidan. Bah, he was gonna tell Pein, but Hidan was already here. "Hey dumb**** the girls just left. I think they are running away. Gonna do something about it? They came from your room."
Luna: "Sorry Lea," she apologized. "I thought I heard something, that's all. So, we should probably get the hell out of here and find Ame before someone comes looking for us." With that in mind, she began walking quickly away from the hideout and in search of Ame. In a way, it was sort of easy to find since the hideout was higher up and overlooked the village. From that, they had a good vantage point to figure out how the hell to get there. If it wasn't for that, they might've been wandering the woods for hours and probably encounter a shinobi who would wind up killing them. That certainly would not do.
Lea: "It's fine! I forgive you!" Lea grinned widely at her friend as she hurried behind the girl quickly. "So which way should we go?" Lea asked the brown haired girl as her eyes scanned over the village. "Should we go straight down?" Lea asked not sure which way they should go.
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Hidan: "Watch where you're going you ****ing bra-what the **** are you talking about, jailbait? The girls are in the main room where we left them. They're not stupid enough to run away."
Kisei: His golden eyes narrowed dangerously at the male when he called him jailbait. "Call me that again and I'll shove my foot up your ****ing ass! Also they WERE in the den. Hint...WERE! They left and went into your room! Came out and headed in the kitchen and through the garden and out the back door of the greenhouse. *******."
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Luna: She scanned the area. Down looked dangerous as the hideout was perched on a cliff and trying to climb that.. freehanded.. was nuts. "Hell no, down will get us killed faster than you can say Death Note. But there seems to be a steep path that goes down the cliff that we could try," the girl suggested.
Lea: "Hehee...Death Note." Lea snickered at the thought as she placed her hands upon her hips. "Hmm, I guess you are right. I am a ditz, so I'd end up tripping over my own feet while screaming 'FUUUU' on the way down to my death." The girl laughed before heading over to the steep path.
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Hidan: "I'd like to see you try, dickless," the silver haired male seethed at the dark haired boy. Oh how he would just LOVE to sacrifice the annoying kid but he didn't want to have to deal with Pein's bitching and Noru's crying so it wasn't really worth it. "How do I know you're not just using this as an excuse to insult me? Seeing as that's become your favorite hobby lately, jailbait," he emphasized the word, if only to piss the kid off.
Kisei: "You are about to become dickless if you keep it up!" Kisei growled as Hidan started to accuse him of lying about what he had just said. "Look you dumbass piece of shit. I like to cause trouble and I can call you whatever the **** I want ANY day of the week, so why would I go out of my way to lie when I can do it anytime I please? The girls ****ing left and probably stole some money while they are at it."
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Luna: She laughed loudly at the description. It was probably true and, seeing as Luna herself was quite klutzy, she'd end up with the same fate as Lea. No point in escaping to have some fun if you just end up dying without even reaching the destination. So she followed Lea down the steep path, half on her back because it really was that steep and she didn't feel like falling off the cliff. With both legs in front of her and using her hands to crawl down the path, she made her way steadily down.
Lea: "Damn if only it was snowing...then we could sled down here instead! We could use a pizza pan to grease the bitch up! But nooo! It has to be hot!" Lea whined as she started to crawl down the hill carefully. She was so tempted to roll down it..., but she didn't want to slam into a tree or something.
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Hidan: "Which is exactly why I find it suspicious since, as you say, you can lie about this kinda shit any day of the week." His eyes narrowed and he could feel himself boiling over with anger. "Well then, brat, if you can call me whatever the **** you want then so can I, asshat. And I'd like to see you even try it because I'll have you in pieces before you can even lift up that puny ass kunai of yours," he hissed.
Kisei: "...Whatever you are a ****ing idiot. You may be stronger, but your intelligence is the same as a crippled donkey.” Kisei said with a scoff escaping his lips. “I’ll go talk to Pein since he is the only smart one around here unlike your jackass self.” Walking away from Hidan, he had stormed off to Pein’s office. Pushing the door open roughly, he groaned. “Pein! The girls escaped and I think you should send Itachi and Hidan to search for them in my opinion.” Hehe.
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Luna: She sighed. "Well unfortunately, God decided to be a bitch and just had to make things difficult for the non ninja people like us," the girl commented, making her way down as best she could without falling to her death. Even though everyone keeps saying to never look down, she decided to anyway and looked over towards the end of the path and paled, gulping audibly. "Holy shit that's a hell of a fall..." Her eyes were wide and panic almost engulfed her had she not slapped herself. "Get a grip, Luna, you won't die unless you're an idiot," she muttered to herself, at least thankful that they were half way to the bottom.
Lea: "I think old man God is being a sadist right now! GOD YOU HEAR ME ---" Lea stopped when she almost had slipped down the hill. She hurried and caught herself from falling as she felt her heart beat quicken. "Okay...my life just flashed before my eyes." Lea had whined as she felt her head start to spin. "Guess what I saw? MYSELF SMASHING INTO A TREE!" the blonde haired girl mumbled as she continued to crawl down the hill. After a good few minutes, she had made it down the hill. "PHEW! I AM ALIVEEEE AND YOUNGGG!"
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Hidan: "A crippled donkey?" he asked the kid skeptically. "Donkeys are actually smart, dumbass. And a crippled one is just that, crippled. So smart mouth me again and you'll not just feel MY wrath but the wrath of Jashin-sama," the religious man seethed, baring his teeth. Watching the kid walk away, he could feel himself getting even angrier at the stupid kid and had half a mind to slice his head off. Growling audibly, he turned away and stormed into the den, eager to prove the stupid kid wrong when he realized.. that Kisei was indeed correct. ....NOW he felt like an idiot. "I'm still gonna kill that kid," he muttered, his cheeks reddening with shame but of course would rather chop off his own head and bury it than admit that to anyone.
Pein: Looking up from his stack of paperwork, his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean escaped? And why Hidan? Itachi I can understand but Hidan's an idiot who will only make a scene." He briefly wondered why the girls would even bother to escape in the first place but then remembered that they also have a very small attention span and thus would require entertainment to keep them occupied or they quickly become bored. He learned that when the girls decided to prank a good number of the members. Of course, he'd given them a stern talking to about that and that would just get them killed, or in Deidara's case, blown up, so it would be unwise. Sighing heavily, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling like he was looking after a bunch of Academy students, rather than S-ranked criminals. It was quite sad actually. "Kisei, you may go find Itachi when he returns from his mission with Kisame and.. perhaps I will allow Hidan to accompany him." At least then he wouldn't annoy the rest of the members as he usually seems to keen on doing, Pein thought to himself.
Kisei: "Escaped as in they left the lair through the back door to Zetsu's little house. I would say Hidan because he has been a slob lately, and he could use the exercise. I think he is gaining weight from all of those brownies." Kisei cooed as he smirked at the male as he folded his arms behind his head. He waited for the the man to say something and when he did, he had nodded. "Alright, see ya." Walking out of the room, he went to find Hidan. "YO HIDAN!" Kisei shouted as he glanced around. It took a few moments, but he found the other in the den. "Told you they left dipshit. Also, when Itachi and Kisame get back from their mission Pein wants you and Itachi and Kisame to go find the girls."
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Luna: She grinned sheepishly. "Perhaps we shouldn't make rude comments about Him anymore. I think we pissed him off." She only said this because she had also narrowly come face to face with Death himself and decided she didn't particularly feel like experiencing that again. Sliding down a cliff was not on her list of fun things to do in her life. When they finally got to at least a quarter of the way down, which thankfully was about 25 feet and not TOO life threatening should they slip and fall, she got to her feet as the path began to even out a little bit to a point where it was actually possible to walk. She was still practically clinging to the cliff wall though. There were a few times where she had a misstep and grabbed onto the wall, hoping to steady herself since she knew if she grabbed onto Lea, they'd both fall and that wouldn't be too good..
Lea: "Either that or God is a woman and is pmsing all over the world." Lea said with a grunt as she glanced over at Luna. "What are we going to do first when we get there? Shopping? Oooh, we should buy ourselves something, and like buy the members something so they do not get a log up in their ass for us leaving. Hehe. How does that sound?" Lea asked with a smirk forming onto her pale colored lips.
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Hidan: He may have felt like the world's biggest idiot because Kisei was actually right, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to hit him for being a brat anyway. His hand fisted and he smashed it into the top of Kisei's head, feeling slightly better now that he'd hit him. "I didn't ask for your ****ing side comments, ya little ****er. So shut the **** up." Hearing that he and Itachi and Kisame were all to go looking for them did not improve his mood. At all. In fact, when he found that little bitch Lea, he was going to smack her so hard that she wouldn't DARE to leave the lair again. He hated being made a fool of and even though it wasn't technically her fault that Kisei was just being the ass he always was, he felt it was partly her fault anyway.
Kisei: The boy waited for Hidan to say something, but instead he was welcomed with a fist colliding against his skull. Pulling away in pain both hands had moved to his now throbbing head. “WHAT THE **** WAS THAT FOR!?! Don’t you know you shouldn’t hit kids you penis face!?” Kisei shouted as the other had then told him to shut the **** up. “Whatever. I hope Lea tortures you to death when you go find her.” Muttering a few profound words, he had walked off in search of Noru.
(Here comes Itachi and Kisame! :’D )
Itachi: “Hopefully I will be able to take a nap.” Itachi muttered with a sigh towards Kisame as they headed down the dark hallway to the entrance of the den. They had just finished a long ass mission and both of them wanted to rest. Somehow, he had a feeling that was not going to happen. Once they reached the den, he raised a brow at Hidan and an angry Kisei. His eyes watched closely as the other stormed off. “What was that about?”
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Luna: She snickered. "Hey. Maybe God is Misa. Oh god wouldn't THAT suck. A blonde bimbo as the creator of the universe. I weep for humanity." The girl was grinning widely, her comments as a way to distract herself from falling off and to keep herself relaxed. When they finally got to the bottom, she jumped the last five feet to the ground and fell to her knees, moaning in relief. "Oh thank whatever divine beings that exist, we're alive!" She had half a mind to kiss the ground but decided that a few thank yous to whatever heavenly being that kept them from falling to their deaths would suffice.
Lea: “Ew if God is Misa then I am the spawn of Satan and I am here to rape all of your candles!” That didn’t make any sense whatsoever, but did she care? No she did not. Her eyes darted over to Luna when her friend had landed on her knees. “Of course we are alive! If we weren’t then we would probably be in anime hell with Toguro from Yu Yu Hakusho and all of the other bad guys--****! I wanna die!” Lea whined loudly.
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Hidan: "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT'S FOR, JAILBAIT! FOR BEING A ****ING PRICK! Damn for a kid you really know how to ****ing PISS me off," the silver haired man grumbled. "You're just ****ing lucky Pein likes you or you'd be ****ing dead already, I can guarantee you that. And Lea won't get the ****ing chance because I'm gonna bitch slap that ****ing cunt for even CREATING this ****ing mess." His keen ears hearing footsteps behind him, he turned to find a confused Itachi and an annoyed Kisame. The preteen stormed away, thank Jashin. He didn't know how much longer he could take of that kid before cutting his head off. "The girls ran away so Pein decided for us to be the delivery boys and bring them back. And when I get my ****ing hands on that stupid bitch I swear to Jashin I'll ****ing kill her," he ranted.
Kisame: He blinked and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Is that all? You're spazzing because a couple civilians ran away? Who the **** pissed in YOUR cornflakes to make you so uptight? Damn. And I just got back from a ****ing mission. This is ridiculous, he whined.
Itachi: Itachi wanted to face palm when he was told the girls had suddenly ran away. Why did they have to go and get the girls? It figures. “Seems like we can’t ever catch a break with those wenches.” He grumbled before moving a hand to his now throbbing head. Great…a headache was already forming from the news. “We might as well go now so we can get it over with. I am tired, irritable and I don’t want to waste any time just standing here.” With that said he made his way back through the entrance way.
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Luna: "Back to raping the candles?" she laughed and then stared at her weirdly for her next comment. "Ew why the hell would you wanna go to hell to be with TOGURO? Wait, this is you we're talking about. Forgot. You and your weird taste in men, Lea." She shook her head. "If I ever went to hell, even though I know he's in Mu or nothingness or whatever, and Light happens to be there, I swear I'm gonna jump that sexy piece of ass. I don't care if he's an *******, he's ****in' FINE." She grinned dreamily "Or L if I go to heaven. He's cute too. And awesome. I love that weird detective. He's hilarious."
Lea: “Hell yeah!” Lea laughed as her friend mentioned the candles. The girl had blinked when her friend had asked her why she would want to be in hell with Toguro. “Why?! Because he is awesome! I want to hug him!” Lea whined to her friend just as Luna started to rant about Light and L. “Of courseee you do! Now! Let us go to the village!” Grabbing her friend’s hand, she had darted down the path that led into the village. “Where should we go first, eh?” Lea asked with a smirk forming on her lips.
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End of chapter six! ;D
(I had to cut it short because of the word limit. XD; Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter! ;D I dunno when the 7th one will be up, but yeah. ;D)
Also here are the links to the other later chapters~
Chapter 1:
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Chapter 2:
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Chapter 3:
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Chapter 4:
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Chapter 5:
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