Eighth Chapter: Chocolate Covered Dead Cats
:Summary of the last chapter:
:Summary of the last chapter:
The three Akatsuki members finally found Lea and Luna as the two girls were on a shopping spree. However when Kisame and Itachi arrived at a knickknack shop they spotted Hidan strangling Luna to death. Thanks to Itachi and Kisame they had pried him off of her. Now…they are finally back at the lair.
(Continuing where I had left off before~)
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Lea: “Ugh! That hill is like a big turd with corn as rocks and pretzels as sticks!” Lea cried out, but stopped her whining when she was received looks. Heh. When Itachi agreed for them to head back through teleportation, she had smiled. Sweet! Lea was just about to say something, but…a puff of smoke appeared and they were now in the den. “HOMEEE!”
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Luna: It felt weird, the whole teleportation thing, but after getting over the dizziness of being poofed five miles away, she sighed in relief then winced, her fingers grazing over the bruised flesh. "Ouch," she hissed quietly and sat herself on the couch.
Hidan: Thank god, they were home. Now just to think of a way to make it up to Lea. Looking at the rest of them, he then turned away and decided to just go back to his room. Kakuzu wouldn't be back yet until later that night which would give him ample time to think of a way make Lea.. well.. not so mad at him. It wasn't that he cared about her or anything, he just didn't like this guilty feeling that had settled itself in the pit of his stomach.
Kisame: "All right I'm heading to my room. I need a nap," he yawned widely, showing an array of extremely sharp teeth. Tiredly, he gave a backhanded wave and made his way to the room he and Itachi shared, practically throwing himself onto his bed and burying his head into a set of soft, downy pillows, succumbing to the eternal bliss of sleep.
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Lea: Lea had glanced to the side when Hidan walked off, but shrugged it off as Kisame started to speak. “Aw…ok! Night Sharky!” Lea smirked before turning on her heel when she heard Luna hissing in pain. “Ow…that looks like it hurts a lot. This so beats my score in running into a light switch.” The girl whined before glancing up at the only remaining Akatsuki member in the room. “Can’t you do something about her bruise? Or Zetsu…?”
Itachi: The raven haired male watched emotionless as Kisame and Hidan went off to go to their rooms. His Sharingan eyes glanced down at Lea when she had spoken to him. “No. I don’t know if Zetsu can do anything about it either. Luna, do you wish for me to report what Hidan did to you to Pein?” Itachi asked as he let his arms rest at his sides.
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Luna: She looked up at Itachi and thought about it. Pein wouldn't be very pleased about the whole thing, but it wasn't as if he could really do anything to Hidan except scold him. He was immortal so there was really no point. Kisame already gave him a talking to about that so that was done. There really wasn't anything left to do. Finally, she shook her head. "No. What's done is done and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I mean, what's Pein gonna do, spank him?" she asked Itachi with a note of incredulity.
Hidan: Hopping onto his bed, he sat Indian style with his elbow on his knee, his hand holding up his head. "Hmm.. What does Lea like again?" The best way to make it up to her would be to do something she would appreciate, something she liked. But what did she like.. He knew she liked lettuce so maybe a bowl of salad? Mm.. perhaps. She also seemed to like cute things too, or anything that would be considered ****ed up by normal people. He had to grin at that. She certainly was different.
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Lea: The blonde haired girl frowned when Itachi said there wasn’t much he could do about the bruised neck. Well that sucked!! Damn Hidan and his big gorilla hand ways! Lea glanced over at Luna when she said she didn’t want Itachi to inform Pein about what Hidan had done. Seriously?! If Hidan did that to her she would announce it to the ****ing world and shove his gel down his throat! “CRAP! I almost forgot! I have to give Deidara and Tobi their gif--Oh! Luna, want me to take the rest of the money and put it back under Kakuzu’s bed so you don’t have to see Hidan?” Lea asked with a blink.
Itachi: “…As you wish.” Itachi replied with an anime sweat drop when Luna had made up her mind. Spank Hidan? What was with all of these visual disturbing images he was receiving today? He made a face at Lea however when she had spoken. “Kakuzu is not going to be pleased to find his money missing.” Kakuzu made sure he knew how much he spent and how much he had left. “Anyways…, Luna give her the money and I’ll find you a bandage to put on your neck.
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Luna: She grinned. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, Lea." Digging her hand into her pocket, she grabbed a wad of bills and a handful of coins and deposited them into Lea's open palms. "That should be the rest of it." Glancing over at Itachi, she grimaced. "Yeah, I know. But we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it," the girl shrugged and blinked at him when he mentioned something about bandages. "You'd do that?" A small smile graced her lips and she said, "Thanks. And maybe an ice pack too if it's not too much trouble?"
Hidan: He suddenly put the last two things he thought of together and came up with the perfect gift. Cute and ****ed up. He grinned. "I think I know exactly what to get her now," he said to himself.
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Lea: “No problemo Luna Bun!” Lea said with a grin as she waited for Luna to pull the money out of her pockets. Once it was handed to her, she had taken off towards the hallway. She didn’t want to see Hidan right now…, but she had to put away stitches money. Walking over to Hidan and Kakuzu’s room, she had knocked once before stepping inside. “Don’t stab me; I have to put Kakuzu’s money back.” Lea said with a scoff as she strolled over to Kakuzu’s mattress. Putting all of the money back under it, she had stood up and glanced at Hidan. “Why do you have a weird look on your face?”
Itachi: “…Well it would be better if you have a bandage on the bruise anyways. It is hard to get a bruise in such a place without something ‘drastic’ being the cause of it. This way you can say you got cut by a branch, or someone tossed a kunai and it scraped against your neck.” Itachi shrugged as he motioned her to follow him. Hearing the comment about the ice pack, he nodded. “Alright.” Once he was at his room, he turned to look at her. “Wait here.” Heading inside, he made sure to be quiet since Kisame was sleeping. Walking into the bathroom, he opened up the mirror cabinet and grabbed a bandaged. Making his way out of the room, he offered the bandage to her. “Now I’ll see if we have an ice pack in the freezer…” Itachi nodded as he headed off towards the kitchen.
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Luna: "Yeah, you have a point," she mused. "And I'd really rather not broadcast the fact that I was just about strangled by Mr. PMS in there," Luna jerked her thumb towards Hidan's room as she followed Itachi to get her some bandages. She listened as he rumaged around through the cabinet and grabbed a roll of Ace bandages before handing it off to her. She gave him a grateful look and then followed him into the kitchen.
Hidan: He looked up as Lea entered the room. Raising a brow, he responded indignantly, "I wasn't going to stab you, dumbass. And you know he's going to be pissed when he finds out someone spent his money. And he's probably gonna blame it on me," he said irritatedly as he watched her stuff the money back under his partner's bed. "And what look? I don't have a strange look. If anyone does, it's you."
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Itachi: The tall male had entered the kitchen and headed over to the refrigerator. Opening the freezer, he had moved a hand inside it trying to find the ice pack. After a few moments he had found it. Shutting the door Itachi had offered the ice pack to Luna before sitting down in a chair. “Wait…what is this in my pocket?” Itachi felt something poking him, so he moved a hand into his robe pocket and pulled out a stuffed animal. “How on --oh right, you bought me it.” Itachi felt an anime sweat drop form on his forehead. Guh, why did he still have it on him?
Lea: “Could have fooled me Mr. I’m now Mr. Snuffles the death strangler.” Lea said with a roll of her eyes as Hidan pointed out that Kakuzu was going to be pissed. “I’m well aware that he is going to be pissed. Plus, you should take the blame you could at least do that much for what you did to Luna’s neck.” The girl huffed before raising a brow. “…You did have a look on your face! Like you just thought of the best idea in the worl---I do not have any look on my face other than ‘I am yelling at you right now!’”
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Luna: Taking the ice pack, she followed Itachi back into the den and sat on the couch opposite him, holding it to her neck. With the roll of bandages still in her hand, she looked up at him and asked a bit embarrassed, "Um.. I've never really had to bandage myself up before so.. would you mind doing it for me?" Oh god what a horrible thing to ask. It was bad enough that she found him attractive and that she was already dating his brother and having him that close to her would only make it worse.
Hidan: He felt a tic form above his eye. "Don't. Call me. Mr. Snuffles. It's Hidan. ****ing. Hidan." God he hated that nickname. He didn't understand why she had to keep calling him that, it was ridiculous! But after hearing Lea's comment, he felt his cheeks heat up with shame. Scratching the side of his face, he muttered, "I guess I did.. overreact a little.."
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Itachi: The male felt his left eye twitch a little when Luna asked him to bandaged her neck. His eye watching twitching because she asked it was because she didn’t know how to bandage herself. It wasn’t that hard to do, but then again…the girls were useless. “Fine.” Grabbing the bandages from her, he had gotten off of the chair and had sat on the couch. “Move the ice pack away from your neck.” Itachi waited for Luna to do so as he unrolled some of the bandages and started to wrap the bruise carefully not to put too much pressure on it. Moments later the Uchiha had pulled away after finishing bandaging her neck. “There I finished. Does it feel tight enough?”
Lea: “I know what your ****ing name is! I just like calling you Mr. Snuffles because you need a nickname.” Lea said with a wiggle of her finger, but had stopped when she noticed Hidan’s cheeks turning red. Was he constipated or something? “A LITTLE? Boy you might as well bite her head off and chucked it at someone’s head!” Lea whined as she pointed at the man.
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Luna: She could sense his irritation and quickly replied, "You don't have to if you don't want to, you could always get someone else to--" she was suddenly interrupted when Itachi told her to move the ice pack from her neck. Meekly, she nodded, "Okay..." The girl was trying her hardest not to blush at the contact and the close proximity between the two of them. Itachi was even more handsome up close, she thought to herself but mentally facepalmed. I'm in love with Sasuke I'm in love with Sasuke I'm in love with Sasuke, the girl repeated the mantra over and over to try to distract herself from the extremely attractive older brother. Startled out of her thoughts when he suddenly spoke, she moved her head this way and that and said, "No. It's fine..."
Hidan: "Well I don't like the nickname so ****ing quit it," he grumbled at her. His eyes widened as she went off on him and complained how he practically killed Luna. ...Which he did. Unfortunately he was far too proud to apologize.
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Itachi: The raven haired ninja watched as Luna had snapped out of some sort of daze to see if the bandages fitted right. His eyes watched as she moved her head side to side before replying that the bandages were fine. “Good.” Itachi said before glancing to the side. Hmm Lea hasn’t come back yet and there wasn’t any normal shouting going on between Hidan and the girl. Then again the idiot did mention she had gifts to get Deidara and Tobi. “What exactly did Lea get Deidara and Tobi?” Itachi asked with a raised brow.
Lea: “No, I will not quit it until you something to make it up to Luna bun! Make her brownies, apologize…buy her something, oh…and did I mention…APOLOGIZE?” Lea snapped as she placed her hands on her hips as she narrowed her green eyes at Hidan. “Bah, I don’t even know why I am wasting my time yelling at you. The next thing I know is that you'll be trying to rip my leg off."
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Luna: She snickered. "She got Tobi a rubber duck. I forgot why, but she did. I dunno exactly what he's going to do with it but.. Well anyway and she got Deidara some pink clay. I think it's mostly just to make fun of him, but either way that's what we got him. Oh yeah, how do you like YOUR present, Mr. Weasel?" she grinned widely.
Hidan: ...He was actually going to try to make it up to Lea so she wouldn't be so mad at him, but Lea had a point. Now he felt stupid. Sighing heavily, he scratched his head and said, "Look. I'm not good at this whole.. apologizing thing, all right? I guess I could make it up to her.. but I won't apologize. That's just not something I can do."
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Itachi: “…A duck? What is he going to do with a duck?” Tobi would probably use the duck to annoy everyone in the lair, or end up giving it to Noru. Shaking loose from his thoughts, he rolled his eyes at the pink clay comment. “I’m sure he will be ‘thrilled.’” Itachi said sarcastically before making a face when Luna brought up the stuffed weasel and…called him by that name. “Stop. Calling. Me. That.” He said as he narrowed his eyes. “Hn, childish…is all I can say.”
Lea: “I swear men and their pride!” Lea said with a roll of her eyes before heading over to his bed before plopping lying on her stomach as she set the bag in front of her. “Well, you could make her brownies, but I doubt you could cook. Anything with chocolate will make her happy, so either you get her some chocolate…or make some brownies by yourself.” The girl suggested as she started to kick his feet back and forth as she stared over at Hidan.
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Luna: "I think we have a winner for question of the year," she laughed. "And as for Deidara, he'll probably use it to blow up Lea for getting him pink clay. When that happens I hope you don't mind us hiding out in your room." Itachi's room would be the safest place in the hideout next to Pein's because EVERYONE knew that you didn't wanna mess with Itachi. Or Kisame. Unless you wanted to get impaled by Samehada or Sharinganned half to death. Her grin became even wider as he became irritated by the nickname she gave him. "Aww but I got it specifically for you! After all, that's what your name means, doesn't it? Besides, weasels are cute."
Hidan: "Anything with chocolate? What about cats?" he asked her. He knew Itachi and Kisame hated cats, well in Itachi's case he didn't mind them if they weren't in his way, so if anything, he just wanted to piss them off for treating him like shit earlier. He could kill two birds with one stone this way.
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Itachi: “…” Itachi grunted at the browned haired girl’s first comment, but made a face at her next comment about Deidara. “I would actually enjoy seeing her blow up.” Itachi said with a small smirk crawling upon his pale lips. “…Hide in my room? One, she will be dead if he blew her up, and two, why should I let you hide in my room?” Itachi scoffed before moving a hand to brush some bangs out from his eyes. “…Whatever my name may mean doesn’t mean I would like you to call me by the meaning, and it is ‘not’ cute.”
Lea: “Yeah pre--chocolate cats…as in candy…? Or…real cats…covered in chocolate? I really hope you mean the first thing I said.” Lea said as she gave Hidan a blank stare. Then again Hidan was a crazy bastard so he probably did mean the second comment. Stretching, she had used her foot to kick Hidan in the leg lightly. “She does love cats, but she already has one…, and Kuei might get jealous.” Oh how she missed that cat.
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Luna: "Well one, I didn't mean when she blew up, stupid. I meant before then so she WOULDN'T blow up. And two, because you love me?" she said grinning widely. Then she frowned. "Yes it is, what are you talking about? Weasels are adorable. Why do you think I got one for you?" she asked cheekily.
Hidan: He gave her a strange look. "Chocolate covered cats? Where the **** did that come from? I meant a live cat, without the chocolate, dumbass. And when did she get a cat? Where IS it anyway?"
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Itachi: He rolled his eyes at her first comment and simply scoffed loudly at her second one. “ ‘Love’ you? Don’t be foolish.” Itachi grunted as he averted his eyes to the side in annoyance. “You may think they are cute, but I currently do not.” The male muttered before allowing his eyes to glance back over to the girl. “What am I supposed to do with a stuffed weasel anyways?” Itachi asked with a raised brow. “ Play with it? I think not.”
Lea: “…It came from my imagination that is forbidden to normal people! Well, I guess I can let you in since you aren’t normal.” Lea grinned before Hidan confirmed that he meant an actual cat. “Ooh, I see.” Lea said thoughtfully before sitting up on the bed. “She found it outside the Sound lair and took it in. So he is probably back at the lair torturing Sasuke. The cat HATED him.” Lea laughed. “Ya know…if you are gonna get her a cat you should get me one too. I did get you gel!”
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Luna: The girl had to resist the urge to roll her OWN eyes. "I didn't mean really, dummy. I'm in love with Sasuke. Not you." At least, that's what she told herself, but she couldn't help but form a slight crush on the older male. "And you don't have to play with a stuffed animal. Some people just collect them. You, well.. think of it as just a gift from me to you. Nothing more. A token of.. friendship maybe." Of course she was spinning all this off the top of her head so it probably didn't sound quite so believable.
Hidan: "I figured that much," he drawled. "And actually I like to consider myself as being much more normal than you are. **** immortality and sacrificing people, you make me look a boring civilian with your ****ing insanity. You should be locked up." Or put in some sort of asylum, he thought, at least her friend was sort of normal. "Is that so?" he mused. "Well maybe I could go get it then. It'd be easy enough. And if I find another cat along the way, I'll give it to you."
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Itachi: “I would hope so.” Itachi said with a scoff when the girl said she didn’t mean it literally. Thank god that was the case. The male pulled away from his small thoughts as Luna continued to speak. “A token of friendship…?” Itachi questioned with a blank expression on his face before glancing at the stuffed animal. “…I suppose.” Itachi said with a grunt before sighing mentally. It was best just to keep the thing otherwise she wouldn’t get off his back if he got rid of it.
Lea: “…H-HEY! I am not that crazy! You are the one that stabs himself over and over…and actually enjoy it!” Lea whined before shutting up when Hidan was serious about getting Luna a kitten and her too if he found one. “Seriously? What kind person crawled in your heart? OH NO! YOU ATE NORU!” Lea moved closer to Hidan and started to pound on his chest lightly. “NORRRU!”
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Luna: She nodded. "Yeah. Why not?" she asked, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of her voice. She couldn't like Itachi as a lover, so why not just a friend? As much as she hated the thought of ever being considered less.. Smacking herself, she repeated mentally, I love Sasuke I love Sasuke I love Sasuke stop ogling over his hott older brother.
Noru: Popping her head into the room, she glanced at Lea and Hidan and asked with a curious expression, "I thought I heard my name. What are you doing, Lea?" The girl looked at the older female with wide eyes, watching her pounding on Hidan's chest."D-did I interrupt something?"
Hidan: He rolled his eyes. "I do it for my religion dumbass. And it's not that big of a deal. I just have to find that girl's cat right? How hard could that be? What was it's name anyw--HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled, startled as Lea suddenly crawled into his lap and began pounding on his torso. Turning to Noru, he growled. "Get. Her off me.
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Itachi: The male had given Luna a look when the girl seemed to be lost in her own little world. Smirking, he used the weasel in his hand and had tossed it at the girl. “You seem distracted.” The male pointed out to the girl before allowing a low chuckle to escape his lips. She would probably scold him for throwing the stuffed animal, but it was either that, or sit in awkward silence.
Lea: The blonde haired girl continued to pound on Hidan’s chest until she heard a soft voice coming from the other side of the room. Looking over, she had smiled brightly. “YOU ARE ALIVE NORU! HIDAN DIDN‘T EAT YOU! THANK GOODNESS!” The girl shouted with a laugh following behind it before turning her head to look at Hidan. “PFT! I’m too heavy for little Noru to pick up. You’ll just have to do it yourself big man.”
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Luna: She was interrupted from her musings when a stuffed animal suddenly hit her in the face. The weasel fell into her lap and she looked up to see the Uchiha smirking at her. Growling, she cried, "Hey you jerk! Don't throw things at people! Especially not presents! It isn't nice!" Being a complete hypocrite, she threw the stuffed animal back at him.
Noru: She looked a bit startled as Lea began saying how happy she was that Hidan didn't eat her. Looking over to Hidan with wide eyes, she looked back to Lea and asked in a small voice, "Was.. he supposed to eat me?" The girl was pretty sure Hidan wasn't the cannibal. Zetsu was. So she was a bit confused.. as well as afraid.
Hidan: Wincing his eyes shut, he covered his ears as her piercing voice rang in his head. "WILL YOU SHUT THE **** UP?! I'LL GO DEAF BECAUSE OF YOU YOU STUPID WOMAN!" After he was satisfied that his ears had stopped ringing, he realized, Wait a minute. I'm a ****ing ninja, what the **** am I doing? Taking Lea's advice, he successfully removed her from his lap by pushing her off and getting off the bed, glaring at her all the while.
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Itachi: Itachi rolled his eyes at the woman’s scolding, but before he could say a word he was then hit by the weasel. Itachi felt his left eye twitch before narrowing his eyes at the woman. “You yell at me for throwing it at you by saying you shouldn’t throw things, and yet you throw it at me? Double standard much?” Itachi scoffed before tossing the weasel back at Luna purposely missing her.
Lea: “No, he wasn’t supposed to eat you…! I was just thought he did because he was being nice a mome-GAH!!” Lea interrupted herself when she felt Hidan shoving her off his lap. The girl had fallen off the bed and had hit the hard floor with a thud. “OWW!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?” Lea shouted as she slowly stood up glaring at the man. “I should SO beat you right now!”
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Luna: She stuck her tongue out at him in response. "Since you threw it at me, I have every right to throw it back. So there. We're even," the girl replied with a bright grin. Blinking when he threw it back, she glared. Picking up the weasel, she walked over to Itachi and stuffed it down his shirt. "Knock it off," she said angrily.
Noru: Staring at the scene with uncertain eyes, she began to back away. "Er.. um.. well.. I.. will be leaving now.." the girl stuttered nervously and walked quickly away in search of her brother to save her from the crazy people of this hideout.
Hidan: His eyes widened as he watched her fall off the bed. Shit. That wasn't supposed to happen. Looking away, feeling a little flustered, he responded back irately in defense, "I didn't mean to, all right?! I just wanted you off me! Geeze."
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Itachi: The male had raised a brow when the girl had grabbed the weasel from the couch and headed over. “What are you--” Itachi had interrupted himself when the girl had walked over to him and shoved the stuffed animal in his shirt. He growled, and moved a hand in his shirt and took out the stuffed animal before whacking it over her head. “Maybe you should knock it off.” The male said with a bitter tone in his voice as he whacked Luna against the head once more. Heh, hitting her was quite amusing.
Lea: “No you don’t have to go Nor--” Lea stopped talking when the small girl had ran out of the room before she could finish her sentence. The girl had allowed her eyes to gaze back over to Hidan when he apologized. Him? Apologize? Yeah he had to be sick or something. Maybe he was dying--damn, he can’t die. “Sheesh! You act like I was some gay man with a raging hard on. Hehe, you probably liked it anyways, so stop complaining.” The girl said with a smirk.
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Luna: She glared at him then, startled that he'd actually smack her head with the stuffed animal, she began to stare at him open mouthed in shock. "You.. you just hit me. You JERK! I should call child abuse on your stupid ass!" the girl yelled at him, glaring. Glancing around to look for something to hit him back with, she immediately regretted the action when her bruise began to throb. Wincing, she began to rub her sore neck in a vain attempt to soothe it.
Hidan: He gaped at her. "I did not! And where the **** did that come from?" To be quite honest, if she had been a man with a raging hard on, there would be not doubt that he wouldn't shove her off. Or should he call her a him? Shaking his head of those confusing thoughts, he glared at her. "And why the hell would I like it, Lea?" he snapped at the blonde.
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Itachi: The male scoffed when the other had yelled at him for hitting her. “I barely even hit you.” The male said with a roll of his eyes. It was a stuffed animal for god’s sake. However the male had blinked when Luna turned her head as if searching for something and he soon saw her wince. Why was she winci--the bruise. Itachi sighed and dropped the stuffed animal before speaking. “You shouldn’t move your head so quickly like that especially with that bruise still there.” The male warned her.
Lea: “Where the **** did what c--the gay man hard on? How should I know? Ask the magical fairies on crack inside my head. They might know.” The woman shrugged, but had allowed a smirk to form onto her lips when Hidan glared at her. “Why the hell would you like it? I ain’t telling youuu. You will just have to figure that out on your own Mr. Snuffles.” Lea said with a grin as she wiggled her finger at him.
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Luna: "I know that now, dumbass," she snapped at him, feeling stupid that she didn't realize that it would hurt to move her neck in such a manner. "And it wasn't that you hit me hard. That you hit me at all. That's weird. Even for you," she glanced the male.
Hidan: "I think you're the one with the crack, not the magical fairies in your head," the silver haired man muttered. Glaring at her, he seethed, "Stop. ****ing. Calling me. Mr. ****ing Snuffles god dammit!"
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Itachi: He felt his eyes narrow dangerously when she had called him a dumbass. The woman was lucky she was hurt already otherwise he would have hit her again for that comment. Itachi broke loose from his thoughts and had given Luna a look. “How is hitting you, weird? You are over thinking things.” Itachi said with a scoff before heading out of the den and into the kitchen. “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to make me something to eat.”
Lea: “I resent that! I am NOT on crack!” The blonde haired girl whined towards the male as he had then started to snap at her. “Why not? I think Mr. Snuffles fits you quite well.” Lea snickered as she stepped forwards and had hit him gently with the back of her hand against his chest. “Fine…if you don’t like Mr. Snuffles, how about Mr. Snuffles of death? Or Mr. Snuffles of the dead chocolate covered cats? OR! OR! It gets even better! Mr. Snuffles the magical fairies assistant?” The girl asked excitedly as she started to bounce up and down on her feet.
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