naruto1246
Active member
please tell me your honest opinions
there will be grammical mistakes and spelling errors and what not.
this story takes place on another world. this world has three continents, Cygnus, Lyra and Draco, each ruled by a different government. each of these governments those that control Cygnus, lyra and Draco are at war. their war is one of greed, hatred, and envy. these three governments want only one thing, absolute control they wanted control of their own planet so much that they didn't even care about over taking the rest of the galaxy. after about ten thousand years of war this ancient civilization decided to end fighting with its own people and started looking outward abducting creatures from all over the galaxy and breeding/ training them to fight a war. this is not a story about a planet located within the habitable zone of a yellow star... the planet Orion but a story about one soldier in the midst of war decides he wants to make a change and bring peace to his planet. but how can a mere man on a planet filled with creatures far stronger than him how can he possibly hope to make a difference?
-year 30299. we find a human male in a large tent. this mans name is will. he was trained since birth to fight a war started for simple control, for years he loved fighting. he believed he was doing the right thing, protecting his home and its people, but as he got older. around the age of 23 he started wondering why was it his government never told him about their goals? they only ever told him what the others wanted. a year after this thought surfaced... will realized what his government wanted to destroy and take over, just like he was told the other countries wanted... after learning of this he deserted from the governments... deciding he wanted peace rather than war. he set out to learn and create, help and save. but after months of doing this Will decided he couldn't do enough fast enough to create an impact. he decided that he needed to be faster stronger.... he needed to be able to draw more attention. so his solution is to become a catalyst that will draw the attention of each participant in the war.
will-"I need to build something that will be able to even the playing fields... a super weapon that wont be able to be copied in a million years because it'll be able to improve itself... yeah. but how and what.." as he said this he walked out of his tent and looked up at the night sky. he saw what looked like a suit of armor in the stars... he decided at that point what he would make. the process of making the plans and gathering the resources. it took him months to design and build the suit. in the end he can up with a firm skin tight flexible biological suit... its atoms were destabilized thus allowing it to be manipulated however you wanted it to be. but this also gave it the ability to be evolved. but to do it himself would be impossible. so will designed an AI that will constantly look for ways to adapt and continue to make the suit better. it will also help with strengthening the suit and its wearer. it will increase reflexes and processing speed. fighting ability everything. the suits abilities will reveal themselves.
will- " alright lets put it on" he said reaching for the invention quickly it grabbed hold of him and started bonding with his dna. the suit covered his entire body. zzzzt "hello will" said an unknown voice. "I assume you're the AI I created".
"that is correct will" the AI stated its voice sounded robotic and seemed to be coming from nowhere.
"good, I don't remember designing the suit to crawl onto me like one of those weird sybiotes from that what ever god forsaken planet they're from." will said
"you designed me to constantly improve the suit I decided a dna bonding method would be better as it will keep others from using the suit." the AI stated
"ya ... good idea.... hmm what should I call you... hmm, it should be something easy to say...i'll call you alex ."
"understood I shall answer to alex from now on."
"hehe alright alex we're gonna cause a ruckus. lets fly into battle"
"activating personal gravity manipulator. will I am connected to your cerebral cortex all you have to do is think and it will happen" said alex
"yeah yeah yeah I know I just like to talk out loud is all" will said
"understood" alex said"
will flew from his secret area... he took to flying like a natural. he quickly got to his destination at near mach 10. his destination a never ending battle between the three warring factors. he lands in the middle of the war zone. by lands I mean crashed straight into the ground creating a crater about 15 meters in diameter. "well its good to know the suit is durable" will said.
after getting out of the hole he created will looked toward one side of the area and took off, his first target a creature two times his size it looked like a giant crab. he grabbed its claw and threw it toward the group on the other side, after taking care of the crab he ran at blinding speeds to a particle disassembler cannon and tore it apart. it didn't take long for everyone to realize what he was doing as the started firing lazers at will.
they were quickly absorbed by the suit.
"what is that" will thought
"I noticed a large amount of energy weapons in this area so I adjusted the suit to absorb the energy and convert it to power which will be used to strengthen the power density and speed of the suit." alex stated
"damn i made you and didn't think you would do that" will thought laughing.
they fired their weapons but nothing worked. giants from all sides raced in to attack the man only to have the blows blocked and their bodies used as clubs. within minutes everyone except for three were dead.
"go tell your leaders that they have a new enemy. and i will stop at nothing until they are all destroyed." will spoke his voice being manipulated by the suit. quickly all three ran off and toward their cruisers... as they warped toward their continents capitol will heard "quantum teleporter added just think where you want to go" alex told him.
will smiled "this is going to change the world... maybe even the galaxy hahahahahaha"!! he instantly appeared back at his tent.
"alright time to come off alex" will said.
the wonderful invention quickly detached itself from wills body and rested its self and its stand.
boom story.
there will be grammical mistakes and spelling errors and what not.
this story takes place on another world. this world has three continents, Cygnus, Lyra and Draco, each ruled by a different government. each of these governments those that control Cygnus, lyra and Draco are at war. their war is one of greed, hatred, and envy. these three governments want only one thing, absolute control they wanted control of their own planet so much that they didn't even care about over taking the rest of the galaxy. after about ten thousand years of war this ancient civilization decided to end fighting with its own people and started looking outward abducting creatures from all over the galaxy and breeding/ training them to fight a war. this is not a story about a planet located within the habitable zone of a yellow star... the planet Orion but a story about one soldier in the midst of war decides he wants to make a change and bring peace to his planet. but how can a mere man on a planet filled with creatures far stronger than him how can he possibly hope to make a difference?
-year 30299. we find a human male in a large tent. this mans name is will. he was trained since birth to fight a war started for simple control, for years he loved fighting. he believed he was doing the right thing, protecting his home and its people, but as he got older. around the age of 23 he started wondering why was it his government never told him about their goals? they only ever told him what the others wanted. a year after this thought surfaced... will realized what his government wanted to destroy and take over, just like he was told the other countries wanted... after learning of this he deserted from the governments... deciding he wanted peace rather than war. he set out to learn and create, help and save. but after months of doing this Will decided he couldn't do enough fast enough to create an impact. he decided that he needed to be faster stronger.... he needed to be able to draw more attention. so his solution is to become a catalyst that will draw the attention of each participant in the war.
will-"I need to build something that will be able to even the playing fields... a super weapon that wont be able to be copied in a million years because it'll be able to improve itself... yeah. but how and what.." as he said this he walked out of his tent and looked up at the night sky. he saw what looked like a suit of armor in the stars... he decided at that point what he would make. the process of making the plans and gathering the resources. it took him months to design and build the suit. in the end he can up with a firm skin tight flexible biological suit... its atoms were destabilized thus allowing it to be manipulated however you wanted it to be. but this also gave it the ability to be evolved. but to do it himself would be impossible. so will designed an AI that will constantly look for ways to adapt and continue to make the suit better. it will also help with strengthening the suit and its wearer. it will increase reflexes and processing speed. fighting ability everything. the suits abilities will reveal themselves.
will- " alright lets put it on" he said reaching for the invention quickly it grabbed hold of him and started bonding with his dna. the suit covered his entire body. zzzzt "hello will" said an unknown voice. "I assume you're the AI I created".
"that is correct will" the AI stated its voice sounded robotic and seemed to be coming from nowhere.
"good, I don't remember designing the suit to crawl onto me like one of those weird sybiotes from that what ever god forsaken planet they're from." will said
"you designed me to constantly improve the suit I decided a dna bonding method would be better as it will keep others from using the suit." the AI stated
"ya ... good idea.... hmm what should I call you... hmm, it should be something easy to say...i'll call you alex ."
"understood I shall answer to alex from now on."
"hehe alright alex we're gonna cause a ruckus. lets fly into battle"
"activating personal gravity manipulator. will I am connected to your cerebral cortex all you have to do is think and it will happen" said alex
"yeah yeah yeah I know I just like to talk out loud is all" will said
"understood" alex said"
will flew from his secret area... he took to flying like a natural. he quickly got to his destination at near mach 10. his destination a never ending battle between the three warring factors. he lands in the middle of the war zone. by lands I mean crashed straight into the ground creating a crater about 15 meters in diameter. "well its good to know the suit is durable" will said.
after getting out of the hole he created will looked toward one side of the area and took off, his first target a creature two times his size it looked like a giant crab. he grabbed its claw and threw it toward the group on the other side, after taking care of the crab he ran at blinding speeds to a particle disassembler cannon and tore it apart. it didn't take long for everyone to realize what he was doing as the started firing lazers at will.
they were quickly absorbed by the suit.
"what is that" will thought
"I noticed a large amount of energy weapons in this area so I adjusted the suit to absorb the energy and convert it to power which will be used to strengthen the power density and speed of the suit." alex stated
"damn i made you and didn't think you would do that" will thought laughing.
they fired their weapons but nothing worked. giants from all sides raced in to attack the man only to have the blows blocked and their bodies used as clubs. within minutes everyone except for three were dead.
"go tell your leaders that they have a new enemy. and i will stop at nothing until they are all destroyed." will spoke his voice being manipulated by the suit. quickly all three ran off and toward their cruisers... as they warped toward their continents capitol will heard "quantum teleporter added just think where you want to go" alex told him.
will smiled "this is going to change the world... maybe even the galaxy hahahahahaha"!! he instantly appeared back at his tent.
"alright time to come off alex" will said.
the wonderful invention quickly detached itself from wills body and rested its self and its stand.
boom story.
