[Adventure] A Dream Not To Be

[Ryu Kishi]

A distant land yet to be
Explored, i will venture there
With nothing but a sword.

A song and tale will tell
My story, for i will reap
A heroes glory.

My dreams and hopes are
All i hold, to me they are
Worth A ton of gold.

So i will wait and sleep
This nigt, for tomorrow
I change my wretched
Fate.

As i journey to fame and
Glory, i am met with
Hate and fury. The sea;
Shes like a tainted lover,

Who only wants, for you
To love her. Set your
Eyes on other treasure,
And she will slay you with glee and pleasure.

We rise, we fall we take it
All, we will not sway we,
we will stand tall.

The lightning sings
A firghtening song, the waves
A hammer with mighty fall.

Our hearts and minds begin
To sway, for fear grips and
Tears it away.

I hear a man, scream and
Cry, i hear another, saying goodbye.

I look to the west, i look
To the east, but all i see
Is no end to this beast .

And as the waves crash on to
Me, i see the dream that
Was never meant to be.​

​

 

[fiend]

Dude as usual wonderful imagery =D, loved your description of the sea, it's beautiful, . Then comes the transition in tone from his light hearted dreams to the darker reality, beautifully done and the contrast between stanza 2 and the last stanza is just heartbreaking and invokes sadness, masterfully done. <3<3

Superb, just keep on writing.

 

[Tenshi Hikari]

It is melancholic. I like it.

 

[Ryu Kishi]

Dude as usual wonderful imagery =D, loved your description of the sea, it's beautiful, . Then comes the transition in tone from his light hearted dreams to the darker reality, beautifully done and the contrast between stanza 2 and the last stanza is just heartbreaking and invokes sadness, masterfully done. <3<3

Superb, just keep on writing.

It is melancholic. I like it.

Thanks guys

 

[Decimo Blaze]

awesome man this was my favorite part


We rise, we fall we take it
All, we will not sway we,
we will stand tall.

 

[Ryu Kishi]

awesome man this was my favorite part


We rise, we fall we take it
All, we will not sway we,
we will stand tall.

Thanks bro

 

[~Ethereal~]

Nice.

 

[Ryu Kishi]

Nice.

Thanks

 

[Luciform]

like it Senpi-san, especially this part :
My dreams and hopes are
All i hold, to me they are
Worth A ton of gold.

awesome :yayy:

 

[Ryu Kishi]

like it Senpi-san, especially this part :
My dreams and hopes are
All i hold, to me they are
Worth A ton of gold.

awesome :yayy:

Thanks tata chan!

 

[Ryóma]

This is really great. The last stanza is sad. It seems like you've put a lot of thought in this poem.

 

[Ryu Kishi]

This is really great. The last stanza is sad. It seems like you've put a lot of thought in this poem.

Thanks fuji, and it was a hard one to write

 

[Byron123]

Simply beautiful, it had this heroic feeling in it, in fact while I was reading I could imagine listening to a song of rhapsody' band. Just some corrections: journey, sally, and in the end you wanted to say "never meant to be"? Sorry for the corrections, I never correct anyone but you know since it's a poem I couldn't help it XD Very good indeed, and the punctuation was very carefully selected and I liked how you so many vague words such as hate, fury, glory, they really gave it an epical tone in a poetic sense


This is the song I could hear
[video=youtube;Ye6YHQ8AZzU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye6YHQ8AZzU[/video]

 

[Ryu Kishi]

Simply beautiful, it had this heroic feeling in it, in fact while I was reading I could imagine listening to a song of rhapsody' band. Just some corrections: journey, sally, and in the end you wanted to say "never meant to be"? Sorry for the corrections, I never correct anyone but you know since it's a poem I couldn't help it XD Very good indeed, and the punctuation was very carefully selected and I liked how you so many vague words such as hate, fury, glory, they really gave it an epical tone in a poetic sense


This is the song I could hear
[video=youtube;Ye6YHQ8AZzU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye6YHQ8AZzU[/video]

Thanks byron san, it was late at night when i posted it, and i dident check it prop. also the ending is how i wanted it, and im glad you like it

 

[Iventera]

Wow this poem was great!
The way you create images is excellent *_*

 

[Ryu Kishi]

Wow this poem was great!
The way you create images is excellent *_*

Thank you