[Approved] ‡ Andúril Roronoa Zoro - ロロノア・ゾロ ‡
- Thread starter Caliburn
- Start date
After hearing "Cali's bio this, and Cali's bio that" I had to come and see what the big ordeal was. Yet I don't see what all the fuss is, it's an extremely long bio with pictures here and pretty text there. Though, unlike everybody else who just goes straight into instantaneous gratification (probably in hopes of garnering your respect and favor) I'll give some valid input.
Grammar, though it's mostly fluent I've come across certain areas that make it extremely difficult to read at times. For example, the first paragraph (aside from being a run on sentence), the last portion really didn't make sense.
At other times, paragraphs seemingly end, and instantaneously begin mid-sentence at time (though that's probably due to spacing issues).
Another thing you might want to work on is the repetitiveness. For example, in the personality section, the first paragraph contains the word "stoic" a total of three times.
Though to summarize things here, I'll give my final opinion on this work: boring. Though, that's just an opinion, don't get upset about it.
Grammar, though it's mostly fluent I've come across certain areas that make it extremely difficult to read at times. For example, the first paragraph (aside from being a run on sentence), the last portion really didn't make sense.
At other times, paragraphs seemingly end, and instantaneously begin mid-sentence at time (though that's probably due to spacing issues).
Another thing you might want to work on is the repetitiveness. For example, in the personality section, the first paragraph contains the word "stoic" a total of three times.
Though to summarize things here, I'll give my final opinion on this work: boring. Though, that's just an opinion, don't get upset about it.
I don't really find it boring i think in someway is somehow interesting. Thought i found reading itself boring so i don't really read a lot of stuff unless i'm extremely bored for example, When i read this it was because i was waiting for the new One Piece episode to come out. This bio is the best one i seen so far.
Last edited:
HatsuneMikuFan
Member
Everyone has his own opinion, I find your bio's boring too as they look like a chronicle. You sum things up extremely dry, almost like you're counting on your fingers. And if you don't see what's all the fuss is about, it just means you're not very knowledgeable about both our RP system, OP and NB as a whole as even if you don't like the bio, no matter the case you should be able to understand what all the fuss is about.
That some paragraphs look like that is just the center option, which is the best option when you write long texts. When you only write two-three lines that option doesn't look well, however in long texts it's better.
Personally I find my English pretty good, however it's not that complex, I'm not an English writer, so I don't know 10 synonyms for each word. As a result I often fall back on the same words, however that doesn't take away that they are placed so that it doesn't look that repetitive. Yes I used the word stoic several times, however they were placed in a context it was acceptable. It would be worse if I would say it 10 times in 3 paragraphs, but in this case it's not really a problem. It would be a problem if you change the context every time, but keep the same words.
And it's impossible that you don't understand parts of it, then there's something wrong on your side, that's not the bio's fault. Then you just made a huge contradiction as how can you start giving that kind of criticism if you didn't even succeed in understanding parts of it? There isn't a single part of the bio that everyone with normal knowledge of the English language can't understand. If there is, it means something's wrong on your side not relevant to the bio. If I was able to even understand Theos' custom jutsu's, which are some of the most senseless jutsu's in existence, then you should be able to understand everything I wrote with ease when you're writing that kind of criticism. If not it means you're ignorant about all the subtle hints and inside jokes that refer to NB, OP, Middle Earth etc. This is also clearly shown because you only talk about the language, however bio's are more than just that. If you didn't even realize that, it means you're talking about stuff you don't know.
Everyone has his own opinion, that you don't like my bio that's your choice, I don't really care about that specific. However if you say that you don't understand what the fuss is about, it means by default you're ignorant as liking/hating the bio and understanding the value of it are two different things. If you don't understand what the fuss is about, you don't have the right to give that kind of criticism as you don't understand what you're talking about and yes that annoys me. That's even backed up by the fact that even you took something from my bio, used it in your own and apparently you didn't even realize it, which shows how far that fuzz reached.
Rei was the first person who read this bio and she isn't stupid. She has no reason to lie to me nor is she like that and she was impressed with the bio. Of course there are here and there things that you can start criticizing on, but as a whole? No, then it just means you're focusing on little irrelevant things, but make it appear like they are the center of it all and you ignore all the rest.
Maybe I misspoke a bit about the "fuss" deal. You clearly put a lot of work into your bio, and certainly deserve recognition for that. I guess what I meant was I was expecting the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and felt a little let down.
I suppose you have the right to be annoyed by my statements as well. Though, in all honesty, I was trying to give some pointers. While you're English is very good, in long scriptures people are bound to make mistakes. I have a tendency to get hung up on little mistakes, especially early in writing. A general rule of mine is to ensure the first paragraph is flawless and superb. The first paragraph always sets the tone and will give people an idea of what to expect. The first paragraph, will also be the paragraph that captivates your reader. When a reader becomes captivated, they will become engrossed in what they're reading and will often miss other small errors which will always be present.
As for centered text, it's in my personal opinion the only text that should be centered is the title of the document, and certain poetry (in particular Haiku, where the lines are short). When lines become long, it leads to the reader's eyes having to jump around the page causing the reader to lose his place at times. Though, I guess that's just personal preference.
And I took something from your bio, and used it in mine? I must have missed it, as it took me quite a while to read your entire bio. Is it something a lot of people use in their bios now? Like the image alignment? Though, I'm still working on a final layout for my bio.
Spamming on a global moderator's thread much?
I don't see how this is related to either flaming/pwning as you guys are suggesting.
Last edited:
I'm not saying his flaming and i'm not suggesting it either i'm just saying that what Zoombie said shouldn't had been said since Caliburn put a large amount of work to his bio. Also, Caliburn feels good when they call his bio awesome so i rather not post than tell him that his bio is boring which in my opinion is not.
Edit: So.. many people spammed on Zen thread when he left for two months.
I reckon you had created a thread stating that you were going to Update your bio, not an Update to the bio itself, but a heads up, what happened to the thread? Of course everyone rushed to... "Kiss Rectum", simply because, you have made yourself famous. On all honesty, what would happen if a 5 month Member did the same thing? You would only see responses like "And we need to know this, why?".
You made it a fuss yourself, giving a "Second Coming" feel.
I do admire your bio though, it has effort in it, but I personally find that effort somewhat unnecessary.
Bottom of the line, the fuss is about you having an enormous Biography History, which I am sure no-one bothered to read entirely without you asking them to do so, there is nothing pleasing to the story whatsoever.
@Pain and Siberia, you are obviously not deep enough.
