My first poem on NB

Scooby Doo

Active member
Immortal
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
45,490
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
So this is a translation of one of my poems I wrote when I was 17. Maybe it's not perfect, but this is the closest to the original.Feedbacks are welcome.

The 31st of November



The memory of that day is still vivid in my mind.
The day,the shadow of my existence,envelopes
my soul, as if fog covered the daylight.
The Sun, this humble shepherd,was driving its
flock,whistling the melody of gentle winds,
followed by fuzzy clouds on the wings of a fresh breeze.

My thoughts were dwelling in the heavens as well,
seeking for an angel there, but she was down, here.
My nerves were dancing when she addressed me,
like when the apostles were called by their Saviour.
And then I followed her,speaking nonsense, to Paradise.

All the trees along the way bowed before her godlike presence,
and the leaves like rusty rugs covered the holy ground,where
her feet touched the earth.

The harmony of her voice jingled as the bells of transcendental
spheres;
The infinite glitter in her eyes, like the never ending image of
trillions of stars shining;
Her body was the concordant beauty of Nature itself.

Ah! How delighted I was back then!
I felt as if I was about to die of the brilliant flood of light!
I was as tiny on the pure, white mountain of my Muse,
as Moses in front of God.

Then the day was over...My heart was crying,and its tears
painted red the autumn leaves, that fell down in front of the
altar of her feet as martyrs,and along with them ,
I sacrificed my love to her.

Oh you incarnation of all perfection!To me you are like electricity to machines!
We are bound together by eternal laws, that connect life with death.
Our souls meet in Infinity, where the earth and the sky touch each other.
All of my sins are purified in you. All of my deeds are given a purpose by you.
Don't leave me, please! I beg you, becaue I love thee...

I still remember the day. The day, that never existed.



(note: November has only 30 days...)
 
Last edited:

Scooby Doo

Active member
Immortal
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
45,490
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️

Tsuki

Active member
Supreme
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
38,439
Kin
1,237💸
Kumi
30,393💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Awards
Great work.
Does anyone know what happened to the user with the Cloud Strife ava who always wrote poems and shit?
I think he's inactive atm =/
____________
OT: That was a great poem! :D I like the metaphore and how you put up things ;)

But even if it's good like that, in my opinion a poems is always best in its original language.

So what you've written in your main language would most probably sound better.
You've done a great effort to keep it poetic while translating it :scorps:
 

Scooby Doo

Active member
Immortal
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
45,490
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
brilliant!! you should write more.
:blush: Thank you.
I think he's inactive atm =/
____________
OT: That was a great poem! :D I like the metaphore and how you put up things ;)

But even if it's good like that, in my opinion a poems is always best in its original language.

So what you've written in your main language would most probably sound better.
You've done a great effort to keep it poetic while translating it :scorps:
Thanks you, I know that, but I wanted to translate it anyways.
 

Scooby Doo

Active member
Immortal
Joined
May 10, 2012
Messages
45,490
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
brilliant!! you should write more.
:blush: Thank you.
I think he's inactive atm =/
____________
OT: That was a great poem! :D I like the metaphore and how you put up things ;)

But even if it's good like that, in my opinion a poems is always best in its original language.

So what you've written in your main language would most probably sound better.
You've done a great effort to keep it poetic while translating it :scorps:
Thanks you, I know that, but I wanted to translate it anyways.
 
Top