Izanagi fanfiction

Scooby Doo

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So here is my 2nd fanfic, though I thought that I wont write more, but another idea occured to me.In this fanfic izanagi requires senju dna. The story takes place before the foundation of the ninja villages, in the time of war. Sorry if you dont like it.
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It was a dark night on a cold November day , when 3 men were running quietly in a forest. They were brothers, from the renowned and feared Uchiha clan. Their sharingans were glinting, as the moonlight shone on them. Then Kato stopped abruptly.

-What's the matter, bro?-asked Kito.

-Yeah, why did you stop? My sharingan doesnt see any enemy chakra. -turned Koto to his brother.

-I've heard something. We're in enemy territory, so be prepared, though my sharingan also sees no threat.

Suddenly the bushes' leaves quivered, and 10 ninjas jumped out ,surrounding our heroes.

-Who are you? How can it be that our sharingans couldnt see you?

-Hahaha you were trapped in our genjutsu when you heard that noise.

-Impossible! Sharingan can see through genjutsu!

-But not this one!You're outnumbered,now dieeee!- shouted the enemy commander, and all 10 shinobi threw kunais at the 3 surprised Uchihas.

-Katon:Gokakyou no jutsu! Shouted the brothers together,.

The next thing that could be seen, was the Uchihas standing victorius, Kato holding a kunai against the enemy leader's throat, the other ninjas lying dead.

-How can it be?

-I told you that our sharingan can see through genjutsu.The moment you revealed your presence, we released your genjutsu and trapped you in ours.

-You bastard! You were just playing with us, pretending to be surprised!

-That's right. Now join your subordinates.

When Kato told this, the leader exploded himself, seriously injuring Kato.

-Brother, are you all right?

No answer.

-Shit, he barely survived, at this rate he's going to die.Then only one thing can be done.

Kito took a bottle out of his equipment.

-Drink this senju blood and use izanagi on yourself,brother.

Kato drank.Then a minute later he was standing all right, but his left eye was fading away.

-Oh shit, with one eye I'm doomed. Lets abandon our mission,and return to the camp.We have no senju blood left, so we have to refill our supply.

They retreated, and went back to the Uchihas' base.

The 3 brothers feeled ashamed for abandoning their mission, and they heard their fellow clansmen murmuring and whispering as they headed towards the headquarters.

Madara:- Why are you here without the secret scroll of the Senju clan? I told you not to fail.

Kato:-Sorry boss, but we were ambushed and Kato lost his eye to save himself. So he drank our remaining Senju blood.

Madara:- I see. But why didnt you get the vaccination? I've ordered every clansman to have themselves injected by senju blood.

Kato: - Sorry, we forgot about it.:shrug:

Madara:- Eh, you ruined my perfect plan. Get out of my sight. Weak Uchihas are ugly. Go and get senju dna for yourselves.

The brothers left the HQ ashamed, and went to eat something first.
They sit in a noisy tavern.

-What would you like?-asked the host.

-3 glasses of senju blood.

-Sorry but the last body we drained has no more blood, so we have to wait for the next cargo of dead senju bodies.

-Oh shit.Lets go somewhere else.-said Koto.

They left the pub and went to the ramen-stand.

-Give us 3 bowls of bloody ramen, old man.

-Sorry but I have none left. But I can give you something else, if you wish.

-Ah,no thanks.-answered Kito.-What should we do now brothers?

- I think we should just go home and wait till someone brings some dead senjus.-said Kato.

-Thats fine with me-replied Koto.

And so they left.
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Thanks for your time, maybe it seems to be unfinished, but thats because maybe it will be continued. Sorry if it wasnt funny, though the main purpose was just to show ironically that how the Uchihas used izanagi with senju dna.
 
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Scooby Doo

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I mean no offense, but I didn't like it.
-For me, it wasn't very believable.
-You need someone to proofread for grammar.
-There wasn't a clear conflict nor a resolution.
1) Ok but thats why its a fanfic I guess:shrug: and I cant imagine how the Uchihas implanted senju dna into themselves so I just came up with this wierd idea.
2)Ok, English is not my native language.
3)The idea was just to show Uchihas as a bloody clan. But youre right, i know I'm not born to be a writer, but I didnt want to write a story full of stupid jokes.
 

Tsuki

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-3 glasses of senju blood.
[...]
-Give us 3 bowls of bloody ramen, old man.
LoooooL :D those guys sounds like vampires.

I wouldnt say it was a perfect story but it's interesting cose it's as if you are giving your theory of how the uchiha clan used to attain power. I personally think it is very possible that they often transplanted body parts, etc...

When it comes for what you can imporve? I see there are some things that can be improved but sorry I can really tell you what, I don't even know how to make a fanfic sooo... yeah xd
But a long story short: nice fanfic :uruhara: and keep up the good work
 
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