I'm sorry // UB

[UchihaBrat]

Yes. I don't know what else to put in the title, since I do want someone to read this, anyone I've possibly hurt would be ideal. So it weighed between putting a title which doesn't have much to do with what I really want(a title which would not interest that many, risking no one to read this at all) and a title mediating what I really want which is partly to pick your interest and possibly lead to you reading all this. Also, it's easy to understand why I put this thread in this section. That is also because I seek your attention, like so many other thread makers(though some probably just got it wrong when they post a thread clearly related to the Naruto manga in this section).

Yes, I want you to read this because it is basically me opening up to everyone and someone in particular whom I have probably wronged, but whom still persists in hating me, albeit I fear the hatred isn't entirely directed at me only.
Sorry if I'm just taking up a lot of space, actually, I am and I'm not really sorry for it, obviously since it allows me to communicate my feelings with you who read this, so forget the sorry, just continue to read, please.

So, I don't really know where to go or how to continue here in order to properly convey what I want said. It is difficult because I'm most likely trying to close my 'heart' again as I write. I've always been someone to make ambiguous statements and say ambiguous things. Things which can mean many different things depending on how you interpret them, and it is always my own interpretation which is the correct one as I am the one making the statement etc. This I hide behind. I hide behind a lot of things, for example; when I'm in a group of friends, I'm always interested in what is going on wherever I'm not involved. Say I'm talking with a friend and that there is two others talking a bit further away from us, they laugh and I'm interested because I'm selfish. I'm interested because I immediately think that they have somehow become 'greater' friends with each other and that I'm left out of it. I'm ugly and disgusting because I fear that I might not be recognized by them any longer, that they'll wander of to somewhere without me. Hence I want to surround myself with friends, I want to be the one they're all laughing with when I joke and the one they feel the closest with.
It is so and I won't deny it, I'm horrible as a person but strange as it is, I don't feel all that bad about it now that I have understood it. I just pity myself for having lived in such a shoddy world, maybe I still do.
Despite all this I want to change this, perhaps this post is partly or only to serve for that purpose or maybe it doesn't help that cause at all. Either way I'm still sorry for repressing my true self and letting it pour over onto you guys.
You may think it is pointless to post it here in a forum where I can't say it to your faces and I must agree that it is sort of sad that I can't say sorry to you all in person. But without this forum or internet at all I wouldn't have been able to say anything, which is also why I think that people who say things such as me being 'butthurt', 'emo' or tell me 'what does posting about it on a forum do?', are quite silly, because I can't really go to all of you in person, it'd take years, and it is you whom I've hurt, so I'll post it here where you can access it in less time than all those years.

I think my hear has closed a little now, it's probably a psychological function for me to handle things as I have before, even though it isn't what I want, so I'll change it however I can.
Thank you if you read it and even if you didn't, thank you, because you helped raise the view count, which people often take into consideration when looking for interesting threads

Edit: Oh and, if a mod decides to give me an infraction for posting this thread in the wrong section despite knowing it was, then I'm fine with it. Sorry for adding to your workload and straying from properly following the rules.

 

[Hawker]

Didn't read the whole thing 'cause too long. I've said this to you before but you think and write waaay too much. Just simplify what you want to say and I'm sure you'll get your point across.

You don't have to write every aspect and point you think of. People can use their imagination and head too to figure out the rest.

That way you'll get more replies I'm sure. Now you're basically just writing for yourself.

 

[UchihaBrat]

Didn't read the whole thing 'cause too long. I've said this to you before but you think and write waaay too much. Just simplify what you want to say and I'm sure you'll get your point across.

You don't have to write every aspect and point you think of. People can use their imagination and head too to figure out the rest.

That way you'll get more replies I'm sure. Now you're basically just writing for yourself.

I think you're wrong in a sense that feelings aren't to be underestimated. In reality they probably aren't more than a series of biological processes and whatnot, but the psychological part is far more complex than you seem to judge it to be.
Also, please don't misunderstand, I know I write a lot and that I could probably write less, but in these cases limitations as those means you as a reader will have to guess things which are hard to guess, so I write it instead so as to save you the trouble.

I'm not looking for replies, you may read this and be quiet about it, there is nothing that says you must reply. But yes, it is for myself, but in another sense, besides, if you don't read it all you probably aren't interested and your reply is better not sent at all, is what I think.

 

[The Riddlerr]

Google "Local Psychiatrists" and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who can help... Or even go to like... Beyond Blue or something...

 

[UchihaBrat]

Google "Local Psychiatrists" and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who can help... Or even go to like... Beyond Blue or something...

Thank you for suggesting it, but no thank you, going to a psychologist is a waste of energy and time in my case. You would probably be able to tell if you actually read the whole text.

 

[Hawker]

I think you're wrong in a sense that feelings aren't to be underestimated. In reality they probably aren't more than a series of biological processes and whatnot, but the psychological part is far more complex than you seem to judge it to be.
Also, please don't misunderstand, I know I write a lot and that I could probably write less, but in these cases limitations as those means you as a reader will have to guess things which are hard to guess, so I write it instead so as to save you the trouble.

I'm not looking for replies, you may read this and be quiet about it, there is nothing that says you must reply. But yes, it is for myself, but in another sense, besides, if you don't read it all you probably aren't interested and your reply is better not sent at all, is what I think.

I condensed that post of yours into four sentences:

"I disagree. Feelings arent' to be underestimated 'cause they are much complex than you may think.
I write alot 'cause I have alot to say and you know them only until you read them.

I'm not looking for replies and if you aren't interested in reading don't reply."

That is what I mean by simplyfying. I mean you talk alot. I'm just trying to help you to get your point across more easily 'cause that is prolly the reason why you posted on a public forum, to get people to read it.

 

[UchihaBrat]

I condensed that post of yours into four sentences:

"I disagree. Feelings arent' to be underestimated 'cause they are much complex than you may think.
I write alot 'cause I have alot to say and you know them only until you read them.

I'm not looking for replies and if you aren't interested in reading don't reply."

That is what I mean by simplyfying. I mean you talk alot. I'm just trying to help you to get your point across more easily 'cause that is prolly the reason why you posted on a public forum, to get people to read it.

It isn't helping, simply because it isn't me. But, thank you for trying. I must inform you though, it isn't very practical to condense in these cases, you seem not to get that.

 

[ZK]

Didn't read the whole thing 'cause too long. I've said this to you before but you think and write waaay too much. Just simplify what you want to say and I'm sure you'll get your point across.

You don't have to write every aspect and point you think of. People can use their imagination and head too to figure out the rest.

That way you'll get more replies I'm sure. Now you're basically just writing for yourself.

Spoiler

Nope.jpg
Don't simplify it, especially not when dealing with this kind of things. If you let people use their imagination to fill out blank holes, sometimes even obvious and self-evident ones, in your explanation, you'll always end up with a result that is worse than what you would've had if you had filled out the blanks yourself.
Replies don't matter if they aren't meaningful, really. Many make the mistake of simply commenting on something with a single word, or two if they're feeling generous. The thing is; it doesn't help. As a writer, for exmaple, it's nice to hear that people appreciate my work, but what I'd really like to hear is how I can do it better. Most people know they're good at what they do, that's why they want to get better.

____________________________________________________________

I'm back. Sorry about that.
I was really surprised about the whole laughing thing, but I've recognised it, to a certain extend, in myself and in many around me, so I'm very tempted to write it off (to a certain extend) as something we humans do to, in lack of a better terminology, 'scout the area'. I think it's linked to the blank template that comes with attempting to step into a new social enviroment, all shapes and sizes included. Without previous memories and experiences to link to, the brain lack direct experience to draw upon and therefore reflects to what you're most prominent and successful with in the majority of your social encounters. In your case, and mine, it's laughter/making people laugh. I'd say that it's a pretty natural response to use your most effective weapon against an unknown foe, no? It's kinda like that, I guess. Of course, even in known territory you react to empathy, which should explain your need to be where the 'action' is.
Heh, I've gotten side-tracked, haven't I? I should really go do my novel analysis.

Also; don't worry about posting stuff like this. As long as you don't ***** yourself out, I'm okay with this kind of stuff. Good to hear from you, bro.

 

[Hawker]

It isn't helping, simply because it isn't me. But, thank you for trying. I must inform you though, it isn't very practical to condense in these cases, you seem not to get that.

Yeah probably not as a whole but still I would've wrote differently what you said in your op. I mean I would've changed the structure of the post to be more clear and be divided into more clear points.

And I know it's your style so that's why I tried to give advice. For future posting aswell. 'Cause after all this is a forum, were your writing style defines how people react what you mean and say.

But do as you please. Peace.

Nope.jpg
Don't simplify it, especially not when dealing with this kind of things. If you let people use their imagination to fill out blank holes, sometimes even obvious and self-evident ones, in your explanation, you'll always end up with a result that is worse than what you would've had if you had filled out the blanks yourself.
Replies don't matter if they aren't meaningful, really. Many make the mistake of simply commenting on something with a single word, or two if they're feeling generous. The thing is; it doesn't help. As a writer, for exmaple, it's nice to hear that people appreciate my work, but what I'd really like to hear is how I can do it better. Most people know they're good at what they do, that's why they want to get better.

Well I'm not surprised that you replied like this, seeing as you two have the same style in writing. You write hellofalot. Not necessarily a bad thing.

There's a difference in being able to say what you think in clear and condensing way and writing as much as you can think of from one thing and thus making the readers head hurt and making him/her forget the main points.

I've seen your posts, you write good stuff. But still imo too long. If you take for example Caliburn, his posts are the middleground I'm looking for here. Just straight facts, one point per paragraph.

 

[Josh]

Who are you apologizing to exactly?

You haven't offended me in any way that I can think of at the moment, though your name is familiar. I think you're being too hard on yourself and valuing other peoples' opinions too much. Granted, you should value other people, but you shouldn't "wear your heart on your sleeve."

What that means (for me) is that people will often joke or say harsh things which you could equate to a friend or enemy punching you on your arm (your sleeve). If you wear your heart there (Your emotions, feelings, and confidence), it's going to get rocked every now and then. I'm not saying to bury your feelings or not be a nice, friendly, and caring person, I'm saying you should make sure you don't allow yourself to easily get hurt.

If you have hurt others (Again, I can't think of anything), then you need to be more careful of the things you say and do. Try to keep your emotions in check and think before you speak. Since you were really unsure about the things you were writing in the OP, I probably misunderstood you, but I hope what I've said still helps in some way.

 

[UchihaBrat]

Spoiler

Nope.jpg
Don't simplify it, especially not when dealing with this kind of things. If you let people use their imagination to fill out blank holes, sometimes even obvious and self-evident ones, in your explanation, you'll always end up with a result that is worse than what you would've had if you had filled out the blanks yourself.
Replies don't matter if they aren't meaningful, really. Many make the mistake of simply commenting on something with a single word, or two if they're feeling generous. The thing is; it doesn't help. As a writer, for exmaple, it's nice to hear that people appreciate my work, but what I'd really like to hear is how I can do it better. Most people know they're good at what they do, that's why they want to get better.

____________________________________________________________

I'm back. Sorry about that.
I was really surprised about the whole laughing thing, but I've recognised it, to a certain extend, in myself and in many around me, so I'm very tempted to write it off (to a certain extend) as something we humans do to, in lack of a better terminology, 'scout the area'. I think it's linked to the blank template that comes with attempting to step into a new social enviroment, all shapes and sizes included. Without previous memories and experiences to link to, the brain lack direct experience to draw upon and therefore reflects to what you're most prominent and successful with in the majority of your social encounters. In your case, and mine, it's laughter/making people laugh. I'd say that it's a pretty natural response to use your most effective weapon against an unknown foe, no? It's kinda like that, I guess. Of course, even in known territory you react to empathy, which should explain your need to be where the 'action' is.
Heh, I've gotten side-tracked, haven't I? I should really go do my novel analysis.

Also; don't worry about posting stuff like this. As long as you don't ***** yourself out, I'm okay with this kind of stuff. Good to hear from you, bro.

Hmm. It may very well be as you say, but in the end it is ultimately, in my case, the result of my selfishness.
I don't worry about it, thank you and good to hear from you as well!

Yeah probably not as a whole but still I would've wrote differently what you said in your op. I mean I would've changed the structure of the post to be more clear and be divided into more clear points.

And I know it's your style so that's why I tried to give advice. For future posting aswell. 'Cause after all this is a forum, were your writing style defines how people react what you mean and say.

But do as you please. Peace.

Ah. Yes, the structure could be different, but then I again I'm inclined to think that if one is really interested, they wouldn't mind such things as structure that much, besides, my points require lots of text. Peace.

Who are you apologizing to exactly?

You haven't offended me in any way that I can think of at the moment, though your name is familiar. I think you're being too hard on yourself and valuing other peoples' opinions too much. Granted, you should value other people, but you shouldn't "wear your heart on your sleeve."

What that means (for me) is that people will often joke or say harsh things which you could equate to a friend or enemy punching you on your arm (your sleeve). If you wear your heart there (Your emotions, feelings, and confidence), it's going to get rocked every now and then. I'm not saying to bury your feelings or not be a nice, friendly, and caring person, I'm saying you should make sure you don't allow yourself to easily get hurt.

If you have hurt others (Again, I can't think of anything), then you need to be more careful of the things you say and do. Try to keep your emotions in check and think before you speak. Since you were really unsure about the things you were writing in the OP, I probably misunderstood you, but I hope what I've said still helps in some way.

Thank you, but there is no need for worry. I'm saying sorry to whomever might come upon this and maybe it is more for myself than for others, but I'd be glad if someone I have hurt would read this. Nonetheless, I'm not someone to get hurt by replies, they say what they want, if it's trolling o flamming, I just pity them instead of feeling bad about it. So I do, in a way make sure I don't get hurt, thank you.