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should you hold it over someones head?

should i hold it over her head?

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dazmycheezypoof

dazmycheezypoof

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i am confused on what to do but the question is "should you hold something against your mother if its her fault for the rest of her life?"

i am not talking about i didnt get what i wanted for Christmas or she embarrassed me, but something like she physically scar'd you for life... and nothing she dose or will ever do will make up for it...

i know i might get ridiculed, but well this is the story my mom told me what what happen,

the story begins in a town called andrews well my mom went and married a guy, together they had my sister and i, but she had said he was so jealous, if my mom would look at someone he would beat her when they got home, well one day i was crying just not even one year old, she said my dad had beat me near death almost killing me.

Thats the story i believed all my life so i resented my father to a point i wanted to kill him but recently i read the police reports saying my mother had did it to me, living with adopted family for all my life since then, i moved in with my real mother at 19, just after school ended so i can get my life started.

the reason i hate her is she lied to me all my life about who did it and she keeps telling me he did it and making her seem like the hero...i cannot see out of my right eye at all and have to wear glasses/contacts to see out of my left.

having said this should i hold it over my mothers head because she lied and ruined my life... the pic in my avatar is me

also i dont know my dad never seen him only in a pic my mom said he loved my sister and would take her anywhere
 
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Baka Sennin

Baka Sennin

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that's horrible, i would try to forgive her and move on though mate. i can't imagine what you went and are still going through, but keeping hate and resentment inside yourself will only hold you back and not solve a thing. you are the better person, don't let the past drag you down.
 
Itachi Namikaze

Itachi Namikaze

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I don't know, I wouldn't say to forgive and forget. Forgetting is the wrong thing to do because that isn't forgiveness at all. If you actually want to have a real relationship with your mother then you should confront her, talk to her and get her to apologize. Don't demand an apology as that also wouldn't be real.

If you can try to forgive her if she is truly making an effort to make reparations, but never forget what happened.
 
dazmycheezypoof

dazmycheezypoof

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Baka Sennin said:
that's horrible, i would try to forgive her and move on though mate. i can't imagine what you went and are still going through, but keeping hate and resentment inside yourself will only hold you back and not solve a thing. you are the better person, don't let the past drag you down.
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thanks but the thing is.... i cant my eye my vision will never get better .... always reminding me what she did or lied about..
 
dazmycheezypoof

dazmycheezypoof

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Itachi Namikaze said:
I don't know, I wouldn't say to forgive and forget. Forgetting is the wrong thing to do because that isn't forgiveness at all. If you actually want to have a real relationship with your mother then you should confront her, talk to her and get her to apologize. Don't demand an apology as that also wouldn't be real.

If you can try to forgive her if she is truly making an effort to make reparations, but never forget what happened.
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i do but living with her for the past 3 months, honestly its hard because well she a bi-polar bitch one second shes nice really nice then she is mad as heck so idk
 
Itachi Namikaze

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dazmycheezypoof said:
i do but living with her for the past 3 months, honestly its hard because well she a bi-polar bitch one second shes nice really nice then she is mad as heck so idk
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I'm so sorry man. I can't even imagine what that would be like. I know that I personally wouldn't be able to forgive her.

Are you completely blind in your right eye?
 
dazmycheezypoof

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Ninetails Fox said:
already happened if he was adopted, no?

try to forgive her, she might be acting tough, but the fact that she lied to you means that she felt bad and didn't want you to know about it, although it wasnt the best way to go...
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the fact she is lying about it pisses me off so much, it would actually better if she told me the truth maybe then i could get over it...
 
Rei

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I think you should seek professional help to deal with your issues. Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that you are sick or anything, but those emotional scars will never go away without some proper help. In my opinion, your -completely justified- anger can possibly hurt you even more in the future.
Forgive me if I am intruding in your life, but why are you still living with her? Go away and maybe try to find your dad?
 
dazmycheezypoof

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❤ Rei ❤ said:
I think you should seek professional help to deal with your issues. Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that you are sick or anything, but those emotional scars will never go away without some proper help. In my opinion, your -completely justified- anger can possibly hurt you even more in the future.
Forgive me if I am intruding in your life, but why are you still living with her? Go away and maybe try to find your dad?
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well he went to mexico so idk i never seen him, because i want to start my life and the town i was living in is soo small i couldnt even find a job, if i could get over it just my eye there reminding me forever what happened.. :\
 
Rei

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dazmycheezypoof said:
well he went to mexico so idk i never seen him, because i want to start my life and the town i was living in is soo small i couldnt even find a job, if i could get over it just my eye there reminding me forever what happened.. :\
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I see. I am very sorry about what happened to you, but i strongly believe that living in the same house with your mother and seeing her everyday will not help you move on with your life. Maybe you can start searching for jobs in another area where you have friends or relatives, get a job there, find a house and move out.
 
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