is it wrong to wish something bad to happen to your dad?

[Itachilover94]

my mom and dad were married for 19 years and 2 months ago some tramp came by acting like she was my mom friend to get to my dad as soon as he tried to have *** with her she said she couldn't because she wouldn't be able to look at my mom again...but while saying this she was laying down opening her legs for him

they didn't know I was home at the time so imagin how hurt and scard i am...but anyway this was 2months ago and and is still an issue i am dealing with because they are still together, she is now prego, and my dad just wants everyone to be happy with it...

my younger sister is only 2 so it hurts me more when she jumps in my bed at night crying that she miss daddy not only that but my mom don't want to leave him she keeps telling herslef that he will come back...it's hard being the mom of the houes at only 17 watching my little brother and sister, cleaning, cooking and school with no help because my mom is stuck in a place of depression

then he has the nerve to come to my house today and say we need to get over it because he wasn't happy here so he left... even when he was on drugs my mom gave that man the world no matter what!! and he comes over and says that!! now my mom is in her room crying because the man she loved for 19 years left her for a ****!! is it wrong to wish death on someone because thats how I feel right now?!?!

 

[Avani]

Spoiler

my mom and dad were married for 19 years and 2 months ago some tramp came by acting like she was my mom friend to get to my dad as soon as he tried to have *** with her she said she couldn't because she wouldn't be able to look at my mom again...but while saying this she was laying down opening her legs for him

they didn't know I was home at the time so imagin how hurt and scard i am...but anyway this was 2months ago and and is still an issue i am dealing with because they are still together, she is now prego, and my dad just wants everyone to be happy with it...

my younger sister is only 2 so it hurts me more when she jumps in my bed at night crying that she miss daddy not only that but my mom don't want to leave him she keeps telling herslef that he will come back...it's hard being the mom of the houes at only 17 watching my little brother and sister, cleaning, cooking and school with no help because my mom is stuck in a place of depression

then he has the nerve to come to my house today and say we need to get over it because he wasn't happy here so he left... even when he was on drugs my mom gave that man the world no matter what!! and he comes over and says that!! now my mom is in her room crying because the man she loved for 19 years left her for a ****!! is it wrong to wish death on someone because thats how I feel right now?!?!

Under circumstances I don't blame you at all. I would have been the same way. And I know it hurts like hell. That's very brave of you that you are still able to keep yourself together so far and took the role of the adult in the home when the real adults are being so selfish and immature.

I hope your mother is able to handle herself sooner than later and comes to term with the whole situation. She needs to get up and busy herself with her routine at least to deal with it..

Get some family friends or relatives to talk to your mther and get help soon. It is better to handle the problem of depression early on. You guys will have to be strong and be ready for the condition that things are never going to be the same ever again - but they can turn out to be much better with time. Good luck.

 

[Itachilover94]

me and my dad would do everything together when I was younger...I use to look up to my dad wanting the man that I was going to marry to be just like him...he would always tell me a man who cheats or puts his hands on you is not worth fighting for or chasing after funny I never thought he would be in that place...cheat on my mother for a sl*t who aint worth the dirt that I walk on

 

[Itachilover94]

[/SPOILER]

Under circumstances I don't blame you at all. I would have been the same way. And I know it hurts like hell. That's very brave of you that you are still able to keep yourself together so far and took the role of the adult in the home when the real adults are being so selfish and immature.

I hope your mother is able to handle herself sooner than later and comes to term with the whole situation. She needs to get up and busy herself with her routine at least to deal with it..

Get some family friends or relatives to talk to your mther and get help soon. It is better to handle the problem of depression early on. You guys will have to be strong and be ready for the condition that things are never going to be the same ever again - but they can turn out to be much better with time. Good luck.

thanks I needed that

 

[Avani]

.. A lot of things happen we never think could happen to us. What your father told you was correct. He probably knows what he did was not fair to your mum anyway. this doesn't simplifies the situation unfortunately.

When people feel guilty they try to pass over the guilt and blame of fauilure to another- that's why the excuses like " I was never happy to start with" or " We were already having problems or the other person wouldn't have come between us" etc come up.

People will find all kind of faults in their spouse so they can somehow justify their actions. Best way is to understand that it's not your fault( our your mum's in this case) but problem lies with your father and he is the person who needs to deal with his own actions first. Your mum cannot control hs acts so she should better concentrate on her own.

 

[Escorpiius]

Well, overall, obviously not but in your case, I def. can't blame you.

Having seen your father cheating in front of your eyes must have been horrible and frankly, I suppose that this moment doesn't let your mind consider any pity for retribution to your father and I understand. But it's surely harder for your mother who can't possibly let those 19 years slip-by like that. I understand your current anger and hate towards your father but right now, your priority should be to take care of your mother. She needs someone right now and it's up to you to make her understand that that she deserves much much better than your father.

Your father will definitely try to come back. He's having much guilt right now - typical cheating husband's reaction. He will try to pacify with you all and will use up every way possible to it - Conversation, explanation, excuses, pardon and even blackmail possibly. Your mother - due to those 19 years - will surely consider some of these ways proposed.

I don't know if you'd like a patch-up (don't forget your sister in this story). It's your problem and personal; that is. So, despite all the natural hate and resent right now, my best advice will be to take care of your mother and sister. Their state is much more important than your hate.

 

[Itachilover94]

Well, overall, obviously not but in your case, I def. can't blame you.

Having seen your father cheating in front of your eyes must have been horrible and frankly, I suppose that this moment doesn't let your mind consider any pity for retribution to your father and I understand. But it's surely harder for your mother who can't possibly let those 19 years slip-by like that. I understand your current anger and hate towards your father but right now, your priority should be to take care of your mother. She needs someone right now and it's up to you to make her understand that that she deserves much much better than your father.

Your father will definitely try to come back. He's having much guilt right now - typical cheating husband's reaction. He will try to pacify with you all and will use up every way possible to it - Conversation, explanation, excuses, pardon and even blackmail possibly. Your mother - due to those 19 years - will surely consider some of these ways proposed.

I don't know if you'd like a patch-up (don't forget your sister in this story). It's your problem and personal; that is. So, despite all the natural hate and resent right now, my best advice will be to take care of your mother and sister. Their state is much more important than your hate.

I am taking care of my mom and sister and even my brother...but I have no one there to take care of me. I put on a strong face because I don't want to see the people that i'm trying to help to seen me cry but while doing so I have so much hurt and pain built up in me

 

[Uchiha Riyo]

You're dad's a bitch. I hate people like that. It isn't a bad thing to do, talk to him.

 

[Avani]

I am taking care of my mom and sister and even my brother...but I have no one there to take care of me. I put on a strong face because I don't want to see the people that i'm trying to help to seen me cry but while doing so I have so much hurt and pain built up in me

It's fine to let it out once in a while, you know. Do you have some family friends or someone older in RL with whom you can talk? We are here to listen to you but, we cannot do much for you other than extending moral support.

Let your mum know that not everything is lost and you are there for her but, your sibblings and you also need her to be there for you all. Get someone whom she might listen to talk to her to get some professional help as well if need be.

Seriously even if your father ever returns and get backs togther with your mum, both will need many issues to resolve. It may take years to heal the hurt of this kind whatever one may want to pretend. So it is a long road ahead- Sooner your mother is able to put her back together better her chances of recovery. But you will need to be patient. Even sooner maybe months.

 

[Itachilover94]

fact is my dad is my dad and I will love him no matter what but looking at it I see that it's not really him I hate (I feel sorry for him) I mean yea i'm mad at him for cheating and rubing it in and trying to get us to jump and say yay a new baby... but I hate her more for throwing herself at him knowing he was married with 4 kids already...he wakes up at 5 every morning and sometimes dont get off of work untill 6pm because now he has to take care of my older brother, me , little brother, little sister and the child that she already had before him pluse get money ready for the new born...

 

[Avani]

fact is my dad is my dad and I will love him no matter what but looking at it I see that it's not really him I hate (I feel sorry for him) I mean yea i'm mad at him for cheating and rubing it in and trying to get us to jump and say yay a new baby... but I hate her more for throwing herself at him knowing he was married with 4 kids already...he wakes up at 5 every morning and sometimes dont get off of work untill 6pm because now he has to take care of my older brother, me , little brother, little sister and the child that she already had before him pluse get money ready for the new born...

That's natural. He is your dad after all.

The fact remains that he is a big boy and has to take responsibility of his own actions. The other woman is off course selfish as hell as well but, at this time no amount of reasoning is going to affect them. Your father also needs cooling time and get this whole episode out of his system.