Hero. Chapter 1: The Will
- Thread starter Sage Of The Six Pringles
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Sage Of The Six Pringles
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Dragonfly X
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It was fair, I don't know why you kept doing this - "sentence in here " <- Why the space at the end? And you also did "sentence* <- That is wierd, quotations are the first one in writing. You can use the second, just be consistent 
Besides that, a few grammatical errors, not to bad, 6/10 xd
Besides that, a few grammatical errors, not to bad, 6/10 xd
ackeem1992
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Sage Of The Six Pringles
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i used these "is when someone is talking" and 'is when someone is thinking'. Thanks for the feedback +rep hope your gonna read chapter 2It was fair, I don't know why you kept doing this - "sentence in here " <- Why the space at the end? And you also did "sentence* <- That is wierd, quotations are the first one in writing. You can use the second, just be consistent
I thought it was really good, lol it made me laugh but also got me excited...there isnt really any criticism from me except some gramatical errors but that doesnt really bother me
BTW I use "This when someone is talking too" but I use (This when they are thinking) lol
BTW I use "This when someone is talking too" but I use (This when they are thinking) lol
Sage Of The Six Pringles
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Sorry it took so long for me to respond. I never expected you to write a Fan Fiction, but you've surprised me. You've delved out a good amount of description, more so than I usually do. It was quite nice really.
The only thing you could use really is some editing. Minus a few grammatical mistakes here and there, which is to be expected, you have a few paragraphs jumbled together here and there.
If you like, I can PM you with what you can fix in it so you can fix it. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to bash you at all. You obviously put a good amount of effort into this and you deserve respect for it. So if you like, I'll PM you with the few mistakes you had and how to correct them (and then your first FF will be perfected).
Again, I apologize for the delay in my response.
The only thing you could use really is some editing. Minus a few grammatical mistakes here and there, which is to be expected, you have a few paragraphs jumbled together here and there.
If you like, I can PM you with what you can fix in it so you can fix it. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to bash you at all. You obviously put a good amount of effort into this and you deserve respect for it. So if you like, I'll PM you with the few mistakes you had and how to correct them (and then your first FF will be perfected).
Again, I apologize for the delay in my response.
Sage Of The Six Pringles
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Thanks for the positive feedback and changes that needs to happen are all taken on broad +rep when available xd
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Sophie Ezra
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Cool Fan fic very well done 10/10 let me know if you add to it