Kagutsuchi
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Surprise Early Release !
Production of Screw You Studios. The Creators of Naruto My Style, Life on Streets and Ending Lines. We, Kagutsuchi, Faust and Nocturnal Present.
It’s a Reality TV Show, where This Trio will Barge into Narutobase’s Members House and will Interview them till their ass is kicked out of house.
Links to Previous Chapters:
Link to Chapter 1:
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Link to Chapter 2:
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Link to Chapter 3:
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Crew:
Faust - Camera Man
Nocturnal – Interviewer
Kagutsuchi – Interrogator
Flaw – Research Guide/Specialist
Nocturnal: For Today’s Story, We have brought a Guide who will help us in discovering the secrets of Lord of Darkness: Nexus. His Name is Flaw, the famous writer of Noobs Issue.
Kagutsuchi: Awesomeness. We have a Legend here.
Faust: Stop sucking up.
Kagutsuchi: Bloody Hell, I am not sucking up. He just happens to be best at fanfic writing.
Nocturnal: Suu..ccccccckkiiiinnngg Upppp.
~Kagutsuchi Turns away and Introduces Flaw~
Kagutsuchi: Ladies , Gentlemen and ( Theos,Nero,Pop123 and Few others ) , I present you Flaw. This is Flaw and Flaw they are them. =|
Nocturnal: So, Flaw. Why did you decide to help us.
Flaw: Because … *Looks at crowd* , They want me back.
Faust: He isn’t making any sense *Checks his weed Stock* , Oi Oi He stole and smoked some intense shit here. He ain’t “Flaw” Right now.
Nocturnal: :zonder: Now I can Embarrass Flaw. Perfect Opportunity for Revenge.
Author’s Note: If you want more of the Flaw Action and want to know what happens next, Keep following the series. Flaw’s Detailed Interview will arrive soon. But not today 
for Now lets Get back to the Story.
for Now lets Get back to the Story.The rubbish van is rolling slowly on an empty desert road. Flaw is in the middle checking an upside-down map, Nocturnal is texting his girlfriend (an Android aplication), Kagutsuchi is pushing the van, and Faust thinks he is driving.
Faust : Hmm, weird. I get this feeling the engine is not started.
Flaw : Well maybe that's because it actual-...Ouch !
~Flaw is interrupted by Nocturnal's sudden nudge~
Nocturnal : Faust, it must be because of that overdose. *whispering to Flaw* This pothead is permanently on crack. He can't drive for shit yet he insists on doing it, so we have no choice. *loud* Ali, you alright back there ?
Kagutsuchi : The hell I am! You try pushing this piece of crap.
Nocturnal : We couldn't have it any other way, Ali, you're the only one stupid enough to push such a heavy-ass thing.
Kagutsuchi : What ?
Nocturnal : I said Keep up the Good Job.
Faust : What *snore* was *snore* that ? *droll*
Nocturnal : Nothing, Keep the wheel straight will you ?
Faust : ZOH my goodness, we're moving so fast. Woooohoooo, Shia Labeouf!!!!!!
Nocturnal : How long 'till we reach our destination ?
Flaw : According to my calculations, about 5 minutes. According to this map, about 5 inches. But according to that weird-looking Cactus, we're already there.
Nocturnal : I see. Gentlemen, we will reach our destination soon. Ali..I mean Faust, Speed up.
Faust : Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *snore*
Flaw : There! That's the Nexus Peak.
Faust : Aw, heeeel naw.
Kagutsuchi : Well, f'ck me...
Flaw, Nocturnal, Faust, The van : We refuse ?_?
Despite the overwhelming hot weather in the desert, ahead lied a horrific mountain, on top of which dark clouds were gathered releasing a terrible lightning storm below.
Nocturnal : Well, man up, boys, it's now or never.
Faust : Great, get someone else to tape your shit.
Nocturnal : Nexus is really friendly, you just didn't get to know him. Come on, Flaw, we need your knowledge on the track, in order to reach the peak.
Flaw : I'm afraid that this is as far as I go.
Nocturnal : What ? Why ?
Flaw : The last time I visited Nexus' manor, I didn't get out in one piece. Here *un-zips*
Nocturnal : I don't see anything.
Flaw : Exactly. There's supposed to be a penis here.
Nocturnal, Faust : ?_? No...
Kagutsuchi : What ?
Nocturnal, Faust : His penis...
Kagutsuchi : What's a penis ?
----------------- ***10 minutes later*** -----------------
The four (3 and a half, actually...No offense, Nocturnal[Greg`s Note : I am not actually that short. -_-]) are climbing up an abrupt slope.
The four (3 and a half, actually...No offense, Nocturnal[Greg`s Note : I am not actually that short. -_-]) are climbing up an abrupt slope.
Flaw : I can’t believe I got persuaded into coming with you.
Nocturnal : No one refuses a pack of Kent.
Flaw : Shut up, halfling, you've no idea how it is.
Nocturnal : Provided you have no penis, I'd say you're the gap in our group's manliness.
Flaw : Ah, no you didn't. You want a piece of this ? You want a piece of this manliness ? Huh, nigguh ?
Nocturnal : I’m pretty white in my opinion.
Faust : Flaw, mate, chill, it'll grow back. Plus penis or no penis. your private parts still look manlier than Greg's.
Kagutsuchi : I still don’t understand what’s so wrong with having no penis.
Flaw, Faust, Nocturnal : ?_? Ali, Gtfo to bed.
Kagutsuchi: Is that another joke on my Virginity ? Eh ?
Flaw: Yes.
~They stumble upon a creepy-ass castle, on the peak of the mountain. The silver doorbell, shaped like a penis was hanging on the massive wooden door.~
Faust: WHY IS THERE A PENIS INVOLVED WHEREVER WE GO ?!
Nocturnal : Flaw, ring the bell.
Flaw : You do it.
Nocturnal : Fine, Kagutsuchi will ring it.
Kagutsuchi : Wait, wh-..
Flaw : You have no say in this, Mustachu.
Kagutsuchi : First my virginity, and now my mustache ?
Flaw, Nocturnal, Faust : Just ring the damn bell already!
~Persuaded by his so-called teammates, Kagutsuchi grabs the silver penis and slams it to the door. The collision is then followed by a series of orgasmic sounds, and a message is being carved onto the wooden door.~
‘Thou hast challenged the mighty lord of rape
In order for thee to pass
The silver penis please thou must
In other words, stranger, have *** with the door bell.’
‘Thou hast challenged the mighty lord of rape
In order for thee to pass
The silver penis please thou must
In other words, stranger, have *** with the door bell.’
Faust : Looks easy enough. Who’s gonna do it ?*puffs*
~Everyone looks at Faust.~
Faust : What, a hell no, I got mine.
Nocturnal : Exactly, you have gained experience.
Faust : Send me on a planet full of Marijuanna, I still won’t be high enough to f’ck a doorbell.
Kagutsuchi : Please! We need this chapter.
Nocturnal: Yes, Faust. Would you like our honour to be stained in shit because of you ?
Faust : No! Shut up, I’m not doing it. Stooooop!
Nocturnal : Will you be able to live with yourself ?
Kagutsuchi: How will you sleep at night ?
Faust: OKAY! I’ll do it! Shit...I can’t believe. *gets on all fours in front of the door*
~The penis magically flies towards Faust’s anus, and starts pumping it. After 10 minutes, Nocturnal is texting his app, Kagutsuchi is looking for a penis, Flaw is sleeping. Faust complains about being tired so the doorbell stuffs itself in his mouth. When the penis is done, it re-attaches itself to the door, Faust puts his clothes on and gets up. ~
Faust: I can’t believe this shit. I literally blew a freaking doorbell. This better be worth it.
Nocturnal: Well, at least you’re not the only one. Right, Flaw ?
Flaw: *wakes up* Hmm, what ?
Nocturnal: You had *** with the silver penis too, right ?
Flaw: Oh, the bell. No, I just jerked it off.
Nocturnal, Kagutsuchi: .____.
Faust: Come again ?
Flaw: I can’t, I have no pen0r.
Faust: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
~The door opens. ~
Nocturnal: Faust, quit your bitching and grab your equipment, we must proceed. WITH CARE!
Kagutsuchi: Finally. After all we’ve been through.
Faust: After all I’ve been through.
Kagutsuchi: Yeah, whatever.
~As they enter, they are welcomed by a long, dark hall, decorated with spider webs, sleeping bats, bugs, and sinister chandeliers.~
Flaw: It's just as I remember. Follow me, Nexus must be in the living room.
Faust: Living room ? LIVING ? This whole f'cking place is dead.
~Nocturnal links Faust to a webpage about namesake ab-verbs.~
Faust: Spare me, Wiki McGooglehead.
Nocturnal: Well, I thought it would be refreshing for you to read something. You know, after getting butt secks'd by a doorbell.
Faust: I'll kill you.
Flaw: How does one kill that which has no life ?
Faust, Kagutsuchi, Nocturnal:....
Voice: A most wise, yet mysterious question, my old friend.
~They turn their heads towards the direction of the voice, and they are astounded by what they see. ~
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Flaw: Nexus. I see you didn't quit your bad habit.
Nexus: Why, no I haven't. Virgin blood is way too addictive.
Flaw: Give me back my penis, you douchenozzle!
Nexus: How could I ? It is by far the most valuable decorative object in this house. There it is.
~Nexus points his index finger towards the dusty wall, and Flaw blacks out seeing his penis in the middle of a showcase, among various other body parts and limbs from different poor humans.~
Nocturnal*whispers*: Faust..do you wanna go have *** with it too?
Faust: You fricking son of a mother duck I am going to f`cking kill you!
Nexus: So, what is this all about ?
Nocturnal: We are the Inside Stories Crew, we burge into people's houses and interview them.
Nexus: That's called violation.
Faust(from behind the camera): Trust me, it's us who always get violated.
Kagutsuchi: Namely you. Anyway, Ready the mic, Greg. So, Mr. Nexus. take us through a day in the life of an admin.
Nexus: Well, the first thing I do in the morning is have my Virgin blood. It extends lifespan, thus making me immortal. But virgin blood is really rare, as you can't really find a lot of virgins these days. Few exceptions, though *winks at Kagutsuchi*.
Kagutsuchi: *voice trembling* P-p-p-please continue...
Nexus: *Continuing* Then I go into the dungeons and anally rape The Pervy Sage with my toys.
Kagutsuchi: You mean Dan ?
Nexus: Danna, yes. She's a tough one...screaming and all. But she is very obedient.
Kagutsuchi: Well, I guess that's what you get for thinking that marrying an admin of the same gender is fun.
Nexus: Yeah, actually, Danielle wanted to divorce at some point. That's why the dungeon is now her new kitchen. *evil smirk*
Kagutsuchi: What's your relation status with the other staff members ?
Nexus: Ah, well, I get along awesomely with the other staff members. The only problem is that when you're in the same room with Rag, it's a bit hard to breathe, and I blame both the smell and the enormous quantitiy of oxygen his body requires.
Faust: Imagine if he were a pothead as well. You guys would literally choke.
Nexus: Ah, well, he is no different in behavior from a junkie actually. He is a kid fella, and there's nothing wrong with him, but he is different. We think it's because of his...past.
Kagutsuchi: Yeah, all those kids with differences. *looks at Nocturnal*
Nocturnal: Get lost, virgin.
Nexus: Did you just say the 'V-' word ?
Kagutsuchi: This is all for today folks, tune in next time, ktxhbai. *attempts to run*
~Nexus grabs Kagutsuchi's collar: Waaaaait, a minute. I think I just found me a miniature fountain of youth. You people..collect Flaw from the floor and get lost. This one stays here.~
Nocturnal: Understood! Faust, Take the equipment, run, and don't look back.
Kagutsuchi: Wait, I thought we were friends! Traitorrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!
Faust: See you!
----------------- ***5 minutes later*** -----------------
Faust: Phew, that was close.
Nocturnal: Yeah. Let's gtfo. Flaw, wake up.
Flaw: You're ugly.
Faust: Fact.
Nocturnal: Cut the crap, we need to hurry.
Nexus: Not so fast.
Nocturnal: Holy 6 dollar portabello Mushroom Burger!
Nexus: The guy with the mustache tells me the gnome is also a virgin.
Faust: Look at his face, what did you expect ?
Nexus: My bad. You're coming with me.
~Nexus grabs Nocturnal's foot and drags him up the mountain, as he tries to crawl out.~
Faust: Well, that's that. They're both going to the dungeon.
Flaw: Lord have mercy on their asses. Should we go, before he finds out we're also virgins ?
Faust: Nah, let's just hit a bong.
Flaw: Fo' shizzle. Pass that shit.
-1 Month Later, Nexus`s Castle-
Nexus: Time to drink some blood...I`ll have a Dwarf today.
~Nexus heads to his cellar and takes a bottle, labelled “Dwarf Blood”~
Nexus: Should be fun....
~Nexus Drinks the blood, as he is sitting on his Throne,relaxing.~
Nexus: Wha...what is this? Why am I burning up...? Could It Be ? It can’t be possible? That Dwarf got Laid O_O[Greg`s Note “It Happens.”]
~Nexus’ Body is now on Fire and slowly disintegerating~
Nexus: Arrrghhh , That bastard wasn’t a virgin!
Next Time :
All Time Special! Flaw's Interview
Special Credits go to Flaw, he practically wrote the whole chapter, we just cleaned up after him.
A little piece of wording by us to him :
Kagutsuchi: “Thank You for an Awesome Chapter, great Addition.”
Nocturnal: “You wrote an Epic chapter in under 5 hours, I tip my hat to you sir.”
Faust: “Where`s my bong again?”
Thanks to Nocturnal (A.K.A) Greg For the Title Images
Special Credits go to Flaw, he practically wrote the whole chapter, we just cleaned up after him.
A little piece of wording by us to him :
Kagutsuchi: “Thank You for an Awesome Chapter, great Addition.”
Nocturnal: “You wrote an Epic chapter in under 5 hours, I tip my hat to you sir.”
Faust: “Where`s my bong again?”
Thanks to Nocturnal (A.K.A) Greg For the Title Images
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nice chapter
