Jinchuuriki Chronicles: Missing-Nin

Rorschach

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Hey Y'all this is the prologue & first chapter of my FF. I hope you will enjoy it.....
NOTE:The story takes place after the fourth shinobi war.


PROLOGUE
“Dear Kushina-chan,

It’s so good to hear from you again. I really miss you and I hope you will keep your promise of visiting us soon; Heishima is eager to meet your husband! Speaking of which, how is the baby; have you decided a name for it yet. I’m so excited for you, please send a message once you have delivered, and don’t worry, even if Heishima refuses to let me leave the village then…. Maybe I’ll just bring the village along… just kidding.
Anyways, this village can get boring. It’s surprisingly getting longer dark hours; some say it’s an omen, but who cares, right? Kenta will two in a few weeks and already he’s showing great promise; aside from being playful and mischievous.
Well, I heading out with Kenta to the market, so till you reply…… Love you!
Your Sis.
Ayane.”



Naruto rolled back to scroll and sat in silence as he watched some seabirds dive and brutally maul unsuspecting fish from the sea. If he was correct, this letter was written 3 weeks before that faithful incident that deprived him of a true family. He closed his eyes and began recollecting his memories; of his mother and father’s love for him, of Madara’s disregard for his existence as a human host, the very disregard that lead a once great shinobi to tear up the life of a newly born child.

It couldn’t be helped; there were too many things at stake at that time for either parent to think of their own personal problems. The Kyuubi had been sucked from his mother; an act that spelt certain death for any Jinchuuriki. Madara was loose in the village; his father had a duty as Hokage to stop him. The Kyuubi, a monsterous being with 9 tails hell-bent on destruction; was on a rampage in konoha. It was inevitable; once those circumstances had taken place, nothing could stop him becoming an orphan. But he wasn’t an orphan at heart. He smiled at the Irony; an orphan who grew up alone on nothing but orphan charity from the village; the same village that despised him for being a Bijuu host; the same village he had proven wrong times without number; the same village that gradually grew to love and respect him… the same village he had deserted over a year ago in search of this family he never knew about. Try as he must, he will never find that sense of belong one has with a family member.

He opened his eyes as the gentle breeze blew across his face. The sunset shone brightly once its rays hit the water and reflected into his eyes. For a moment everywhere went red-orange, as though the apocalypse was upon them. Then slowly everywhere went blood-red, and one man’s memory crept into his thoughts; Sasuke! He frowned a bit and noticed something across the water. A bird had dived down at a potential prey to pick it up in one swipe. But it had miscalculated; after clumsily landing in the water it began thrashing about before it was eaten up by a carnivorous fish. Everything had an end….. Even rivalry!
“Someday, Sasuke, we’ll have to settle this… someday.”



Chapter One

(A year ago)

Hatake Kakashi sat reading a copy of ‘come come paradise’. He looked up at the calendar on his wall and smiled beneath his mask. Even though he was smiling he knew deep down a part of him was sad. Today was the day Jiraiya’s death was reported in Konoha. Slowly, he looked at the time; 10:43… Late!

“Oh well, it’s not like I’m ever on time for anything,” he chuckled to himself. As he got out of bed, he placed the signed copy of Jiraiya’s novel on a table and stepped into the shower. After a few minutes he was out and set to go. Just before he left through the door he noticed a picture of Jiraiya and Naruto next to the closet. “You might be gone Jiraiya-sama, but your legacy lives on. You would have been proud to see what your student has accomplished.” And with that he was out to meet up with the ever-waiting Team7.



Sai reviewed his picture book. Ever since the fourth-shinobi war, the book had become even more important to him. His brother’s soul was released merely by the memories the book contained. He shut it quietly and looked at the scar on his arm and gave a half-smile; Sakura turned and looked at him.

“What’s with the smile, remember something?” she asked sitting next to him. They had been at the park all day waiting for Kakashi and Naruto. Awkward as it was for them to be seen together, alone, in a park, she was enjoying his company. “Sai?”

Huh?” he jumped back to reality, “oh, sorry, it’s just the scar on my arm” with that he rolled down a sleeve over it.

“It’s late.” she remarked.

“What do you want to do now?”

“Let’s get going, we’ve waited long enough.”

“Kakashi-sen-“

She cut him off. “Are you seriously going to wait for Kakashi-sensei?” The stare she gave him wasn’t intimidating and she knew she had to cut him off again, “Don’t answer that, let’s just get moving.”

She got up to leave but noticed he was still sitting down. “Sai, let’s-.” He cut her of with a light puffing sound. As the mild smoke cleared, before them stood a great bird made of ink. Sai jumped onto the bird and extended his arm out to Sakura, which she took. With both ninjas on its back, the great bird spread its wings and became air-borne. Sai smiled to himself. At least, things are looking better for some of us. He looked at Sakura, whose eyes were closed enjoying the cool breeze as it blew into her face and sent her pink hair flying.

Slowly, the bird began to glide towards the graveyards. Sai looked out across and noticed Kakashi standing over a stone monument. He frowned, “So that’s where Kakashi-sensei went!” He took out a book in an attempt to catch Kakashi in his excuse-zone. Unfortunately, Kakashi was gone before he could start. Disappointed, he urged the bird to fly faster to avoid arriving after Kakashi; it was one thing for Kakashi to be late for an appointment, it was another thing for Kakashi to arrive before someone else.

With one quick unnoticed motion, (which serves as a means of commanding his creations), the bird plummeted downwards by closing its wings and loosing altitude. Seconds before it struck the ground, its wings came open and glided gently unto the ground, which was empty save for the various grave stones of past ninjas and citizens of Konoha; empty except for the yellow-haired boy sitting, cross-legged in from of a gravestone with a red fire emblem above it. Slowly both Sai and Sakura alighted from the bird and walked up to towards the grave stone and knelt behind the already present visitor.




Uzumaki Naruto sat in a Sage stance with both eyes closed. He could sense the presence of three beings behind him; Sai, Sakura and Kakashi, who had just arrived and was standing behind the three of them. Around his eyes wearing orange markings that signified sagehood. After a few minutes of silence, he picked up a small vase and poured its contents into a saucer and placed it on the grave stone as the liquid began to fizz and evaporate, filling the atmosphere with the sweet scent of Toad oil. Slowly, the orange markings began to dissolve as he said a prayer for the resting of souls. Then he took out a double ice-popsicle, removed its wrapping, broke it in two, placed one on the grave and began licking the other.

“Are you alright, Naruto?”

He turned and looked at Sakura and smiled while a drop of orange frost landed on his shirt.

“Yes I am,” he then noticed the extra company. “Granny Tsunade, Captain Yamato!” Getting up, he picked up his forehead protector and wore it. Sai and Sakura both stood up to face their Hokage.

“It’s nice to see you all here together.” Remarked Tsunade. “Jiraiya would rest well knowing his memories live on in all of you.”

Yamato handed Tsunade a scroll, and nodded towards Kakashi. Tsunade unrolled it and read through it. “So it’s come to this then. Team 7, report to my office. Now!” And with that she left them at the graveyard.

“What’s wrong, Yamato?” Kakashi asked, sensing there was something Yamato wasn’t telling them.

“Kakashi-sempai, may we talk in private?” putting his left arm out for Kakashi to follow him.

“Oi, Captain Yamato what’s going on?” Naruto inquired.

Darkness crept slowly over Yamato’s face as his eyes became fixed on Naruto. “Are you my Sempai?”

Mutual fear gripped the three Ninjas as Kakashi and Yamato left the graveyard smiling.




Average height, with a slightly bushy brown hair, blue eyes and a charming smile, Yoshi Tatsu was a bright Shinobi. He had proven his worth as a Chuunin of Konoha during the fourth shinobi war, and made sure everyone around him knew it. He walked into the Hokage’s palace to meet up with his teammates and their sensei. The entire hallway was in array. Everyone seemed to be concentrating on something at the other entrance.

What the hell is going on? Tatsu asked himself as he struggled to make his way towards the center of attraction. Slowly, after much pushing and cursing he finally caught a glimpse of what was causing the commotion.

“Naruto, will you sign an autograph for me?”

“Naruto, Naruto, sign my forehead protector please!”

“Naruto, I’m your #1 fan!

“Naruto, I love you!”

Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, Naruto.


Tatsu frowned, not noticing his teammate Takuya standing behind him. “You okay, Tatsu?”

“NO I’M NOT OKAY!” He growled before realizing it was Takuya who had addressed him. “Oh, Takuya-san, I’m, sorry for bursting out on you like that.”

Takuya smiled, “It’s okay, I get that you’re angry… maybe even jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, it’s just-“

“He gets too much attention, huh?”

“My point exactly. Just because he saved the village doesn’t mean we all have to worship him like he’s Hokage. What about the rest of us who went through hell just for the village. I defeated an Edo Tensei summon even though it resurrected back. He thinks he’s such a hot shot because of the curse power he-.”

Takuya cut him off before he could finish. “Chill out will you, some things you just have to let them go, Okay? Besides what are you going to do about it?”

Tatsu frowned and looked at the floor. Maybe Takuya was right, maybe he needed to give it a rest. Besides, rationally speaking Naruto had done quite a lot for Konoha. The type of Shinobis he had defeated were the kind found in the bingo books of ANBU members.

“Naruto, please sign my forehead protector!” Tatsu looked up upon hearing the voice of Zeya, his teammate. Now his rage knew no bounds.

That’s it, Naruto! One way or the other, you’re going down! One way or the other!


Well, what do you guys think? :pwease:
 
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Allan Hoshigaki

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Boring didnt even read the shit. Quit . Even if you like making up stories dont put copy written characters in your bullshit stories. Why dont u make up everything from scratch
 

Rorschach

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Boring didnt even read the shit. Quit . Even if you like making up stories dont put copy written characters in your bullshit stories. Why dont u make up everything from scratch
Seriously? You're flamming bcos of a Fan Fic!? OMG..... we'll i didn't make it for you... if its not up to your taste please dont bother posting.... It's my first, so pls gimme a break!:p
 

Escorpiius

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@Allan Hoshigaki - Please see the definition of the word Fanfiction before posting a comment.

Well, elftwist, you've got a good style of writing! Your prologue specially was very good.

For some CnC: :cool:

- You should have provided a little more ample details about the time period about the current manga as I was a bit lost about that while readin' it :p
- Your vocabulary is decent and grammar quite good but some phrases do go stiff there and there...That'll improve with practice. :D
- I like the part of Jiraiya's death anniversary...good for a change. :D
- I lost track a bit however about the Tatsu and Takuya part! Who the hell are they and how did the scene changed so suddenly? That's quite weird? :(I wonder if you missed something...:p
- Well, def. there seemed to be twist with yamato but I wonder why you skipped the explanation and that part? :|
- I'd like to read more to get a better opinion as I want to know where this head especially after the weird and stunnin' finish...:)

Nice 1st try overalll :D;)
 
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Rorschach

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@Allan Hoshigaki - Please see the definition of the word Fanfiction before posting a comment.

Well, elftwist, you've got a good style of writing! Your prologue specially was very good.

For some CnC: :cool:

- You should have provided a little more ample details about the time period about the current manga as I was a bit lost about that while readin' it :p
- Your vocabulary is decent and grammar quite good but some phrases do go stiff there and there...That'll improve with practice. :D
- I like the part of Jiraiya's death anniversary...good for a change. :D
- I lost track a bit however about the Tatsu and Takuya part! Who the hell are they and how did the scene changed so suddenly? That's quite weird? :(I wonder if you missed something...:p
- Well, def. there seemed to be twist with yamato but I wonder why you skipped the explanation and that part? :|
- I'd like to read more to get a better opinion as I want to know where this head especially after the weird and stunnin' finish...:)

Nice 1st try overalll :D;)

Thanks.... the time skip is actually after the 4th war.....
Tatsu and Takuya are my added characters( few amongst a host of others)
Naruto's mates revolve around: Him, sakura, sai all the way to Rock lee, the Gaara's family... making only 15..... i just decided to add a few to make the story a bit more interesting.... Thanks!
 

-Yard-

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very nice, i can agree with kingscorp and you might also find it great use too try the RP's here from time to time they help me on providing detail/grammar
 

vengsea

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@Allan Hoshigaki - Please see the definition of the word Fanfiction before posting a comment.

Well, elftwist, you've got a good style of writing! Your prologue specially was very good.

For some CnC: :cool:

- You should have provided a little more ample details about the time period about the current manga as I was a bit lost about that while readin' it :p
- Your vocabulary is decent and grammar quite good but some phrases do go stiff there and there...That'll improve with practice. :D
- I like the part of Jiraiya's death anniversary...good for a change. :D
- I lost track a bit however about the Tatsu and Takuya part! Who the hell are they and how did the scene changed so suddenly? That's quite weird? :(I wonder if you missed something...:p
- Well, def. there seemed to be twist with yamato but I wonder why you skipped the explanation and that part? :|
- I'd like to read more to get a better opinion as I want to know where this head especially after the weird and stunnin' finish...:)

Nice 1st try overalll :D;)
Good Writing !:rolleyes:
 

Escorpiius

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Good Writing !:rolleyes:
You should comment about his story not my review LOL! even if I think you meant to comment about his story :D
Also eltwist, thx for clarifying that you've included some new characters but where the heck did he arrive and bumped into Naruto :? :| Well, never mind, I see you're going to put other creatred characters so I better check the other chapters! Good Luck xd
 

Nikkou Arashi

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Well, what do you guys think? :pwease:
Firstly, thank you for inviting me to your fanfic. I didn't know you are into writing, too. Now, to what I think about it. It's all good. The plotting, the scene presentation, are all good. You have an explicit way of describing the settings, too.

As for the story, its quite promising. Set a year after the 4th ninja war ha. So, its like a fictional prediction of Naruto. Keep going! :)


Boring didnt even read the shit. Quit . Even if you like making up stories dont put copy written characters in your bullshit stories. Why dont u make up everything from scratch
@Allan Hoshigaki - Please see the definition of the word Fanfiction before posting a comment.

Well, elftwist, you've got a good style of writing! Your prologue specially was very good.

For some CnC: :cool:

- You should have provided a little more ample details about the time period about the current manga as I was a bit lost about that while readin' it :p
- Your vocabulary is decent and grammar quite good but some phrases do go stiff there and there...That'll improve with practice. :D
- I like the part of Jiraiya's death anniversary...good for a change. :D
- I lost track a bit however about the Tatsu and Takuya part! Who the hell are they and how did the scene changed so suddenly? That's quite weird? :(I wonder if you missed something...:px
- Well, def. there seemed to be twist with yamato but I wonder why you skipped the explanation and that part? :|
- I'd like to read more to get a better opinion as I want to know where this head especially after the weird and stunnin' finish...:)

Nice 1st try overalll :D;)
Oh well, I was about to say the same thing, KC. *sigh* I often wonder why there are people who insists on making a fanfiction that's not based on copyrighted characters. That's just not Fanfiction after all! Go to a bookstore and buy novels there if you want to read stuffs that does not involve copyrighted characters!

Here's some thought from KC's comments. KC, that part is what I call a scene shifting strategy. It can be confusing indeed if you don't get a hint to pause from one scene to the other.

Eltwist, scene shifts in writing can actually be presented by (1) putting an indention to the first paragraph of the scene or (2) putting a marker to separate both scenes [in mine, I use asterisks] or (3) both. That way, your readers get a hint to pause.

I did not find those scene shifts and the entering of the new characters confusing at all. It was all good. As for Yamato and Kakashi's secret talk, I guess you decided to keep it a surprise? That's a good way to make your readers advance to your next chap as they would want to find out what that would be.:)

All in all, its a work well done!
 

Rorschach

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Firstly, thank you for inviting me to your fanfic. I didn't know you are into writing, too. Now, to what I think about it. It's all good. The plotting, the scene presentation, are all good. You have an explicit way of describing the settings, too.

As for the story, its quite promising. Set a year after the 4th ninja war ha. So, its like a fictional prediction of Naruto. Keep going! :)






Oh well, I was about to say the same thing, KC. *sigh* I often wonder why there are people who insists on making a fanfiction that's not based on copyrighted characters. That's just not Fanfiction after all! Go to a bookstore and buy novels there if you want to read stuffs that does not involve copyrighted characters!

Here's some thought from KC's comments. KC, that part is what I call a scene shifting strategy. It can be confusing indeed if you don't get a hint to pause from one scene to the other.

Eltwist, scene shifts in writing can actually be presented by (1) putting an indention to the first paragraph of the scene or (2) putting a marker to separate both scenes [in mine, I use asterisks] or (3) both. That way, your readers get a hint to pause.

I did not find those scene shifts and the entering of the new characters confusing at all. It was all good. As for Yamato and Kakashi's secret talk, I guess you decided to keep it a surprise? That's a good way to make your readers advance to your next chap as they would want to find out what that would be.:)

All in all, its a work well done!
Thank you very much!!!
 

Hazure

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this fanfic has captured my attention, im intrigued about what will happen, and i like how you started your prologue, eventually revealing that Naruto had left Konoha i'm looking forward to future chapters ^^ Keep it up!
 
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