Jokes....

[Cyborg]

This is a free for all, meaning any good joke you know, feel free to share it.I'll start:

English is a difficult language for the Japanese. A true story: a few days ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was given some basic englishtraining before he visits Washington to meet President Barack Obama.....

The instructor told Mori when you shake hands with Obama please say ' How r u?' Then Obama should say 'I'm fine and you?' Now u shud say' me too'. Afterwards we(translators) will handle.

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said ' who r u'(instead of how r u). Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor' Well im Mishal's husband, haha.' Then Mori said 'me too, haha'.

long silencexd

 

[Michael92]

This is a free for all, meaning any good joke you know, feel free to share it.I'll start:

English is a difficult language for the Japanese. A true story: a few days ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was given some basic englishtraining before he visits Washington to meet President Barack Obama.....

The instructor told Mori when you shake hands with Obama please say ' How r u?' Then Obama should say 'I'm fine and you?' Now u shud say' me too'. Afterwards we(translators) will handle.

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said ' who r u'(instead of how r u). Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor' Well im Mishal's husband, haha.' Then Mori said 'me too, haha'.

long silencexd

Lmaoxd Is there a clip of this available?xd
When thinking twice of it, wasn't it Bill Clinton and Mori, and not Obama?

 

[MrSharingan]

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

 

[Abysmal.]

Racist joke but oh well
what do you call someone who says a racist joke on a family forum with quite a few black people?

Another black person with a sense of humor.

 

[MrSharingan]

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The copper said, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

 

[Gobi Gobletsson]

Well, I know some racists jokes, but Imma not gonna mention it, but I got a your momma joke though! ^_^

Your momma's like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and lays in the closet.

:x

 

[MrSharingan]

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.

The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

 

[MrSharingan]

What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both black people with white faces

 

[MrSharingan]

Why cant white men jump? They were too busy making racist jokes.

 

[MrSharingan]

A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on? A Prison Break.

 

[Cyborg]

Girl:Nice mobile.

Where did you buy???

Boy:I won this in a running race......



Girl: Really, how many people participated??




Boy: MOBILE OWNER, POLICE AND ME

 

[The Virgin]

Mother: where are you going dear? why are you bringing some stuff with you?

Child: i'm moving out here. i'm gonna leave for good.!

Mother: what? but honey, why?

Child: cause i'm always wrong. i've never done anything right here in this house. you don't love me anymore because of that! i was always wrong!!!

Mother: honey, your wrong......

Child: see? (walks away and cry)

 

[Cyborg]

Lmaoxd Is there a clip of this available?xd
When thinking twice of it, wasn't it Bill Clinton and Mori, and not Obama?

Thanx, lol no video, sry! The version i heard was obama

 

[Cyborg]

We are very proud to inform you that an american has established a new world record and held his breath underwater for 37 mins!!!

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Long Live USA






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Funeral prayers will be held at noon tomorrow

 

[MrSharingan]

what do you call a witch on the beach? a sand-WITCH

 

[Egdvdfz]

A Jamaican man walks into a shop, he picks up a carton of orange juice and some sugar. The man paid for the orange juice then walked out, later that day he was arrested for stealing sugar and when he was asked why he stole it he said,
"Mi no thief di sugar, mi look pon di back nah orange juice it say SUGAR FREE"

 

[Cyborg]

An Asian and an American met on a plane & had a bet that if the Asian fails to ans his question he must give 5$ nd if American fails he has to give 500$!

*American: What's da difference between the earth and moon?
Asian silently gives 5$.

Asian:Which is the animal that has 3 legs, goes to the mountain and returns wid 4 legs?

The American searches for 2 hrs on laptop nd gives 500$ nd asks' Wats da ans?'


*Asian again silently gives 5 $*.

 

[The Virgin]

Father: hey son! what's up?

Son: hey dad! I just had my first *** with my classmate.

Father: oh son! I'm so proud of you! you're now a man. You're no longer a boy! Congratulations! let's celebrate!

Son: later dad. I need to take some rest. My ass still hurts.

 

[Cyborg]

7 preconceptions people have:

1. Eyes are that part of the body that cannot be washed with soap.

2. You cannot count all of the hair you have on your head




3. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue







4. ....you're smiling because you realize you can


5.Only an idiot would try point no 3

6. Your laughing because you just did

7. So you're an idiot

 

[Raito Yagami]

There was once a Jockey, a Nerd, and a Really Hot Girl. The Jockey was having *** with the really hot girl in the top bunk, while the nerd was sleeping in the bottom bunk (they had a bunk bed). Whenever the Jockey wanted the girl to go faster, he'd say "Lettuce!" and when the Jockey wanted the girl to go slower he'd say "Tomato...". "Lettuce Lettuce Lettuce! Tomato...Tomato...Tomato...". Then the nerd said to them "CAN YOU STOP MAKING SANDWICHES???!!!!!! The Mayonnaise is spilling all over me!!!!!!!!!"