why would you take girlfriend/boyfriend

[Kushan]

from most of those posts i can say most of you are afraid of commitment or just trolling on my thread but there is few who gave me answers even if it make no sense but who am i to judge your culture .

becoming different doesn't mean you are wrong

so plz give ur answer or leave no trolls wanted here

OK lets look at this way, from your location it's safe to assume you're Muslim as the majority of Egyptians follow Islam, hence the cultural orientation is eastern, as easterners, people are taught by religion, culture and tradition that marriage is an institution that must be entered by all men and women and it's frowned upon by society when men and women stay single after a certain age (especially women), although this mentality is rapidly fading in Asia, it's still widely considered the norm in Africa and the sub Saharan countries, hence you think that the ultimately you expect a relationship with a women should end in marriage having kids and continuation of your family, on the other hand if you're a Muslim, and according to my limited understanding of the Sharia (spellings) law I posses, divorce is considerably easy (you say thalak three times and return all the dowry the woman brought with her and you're a free man), am I right so far???

Now you look at the modern western culture, where people are more self oriented, and tend to have more cultural freedom, here society or religion does not force people to live their lives according to religious texts or obligation, the definition of family is different from what it's in the eastern cultures, so naturally this has given them freedom of choosing there partner as they please, marriage is not easily entered as it's very hard to get out of it once you enter it; hence the boyfriend girlfriend concept, children are considered as the responsibility of their parents regardless of the fact weather they're married or not, when someone neglects these responsibilities the government steps in and take necessary measures, and the lack of legal document (marriage certificate) doesn't mean that these partnerships are carries less importance in society.



Hope this wall of text answers your question!!!

The name you give to a relationship is not important, what's important is the spirit that you enter in to the relationship, both systems has there pro's and cons it's up to you to make up your mind on how you want to live your life. I personally love women not a woman!!!!

 

[Nikkou Arashi]

Spoiler

OK lets look at this way, from your location it's safe to assume you're Muslim as the majority of Egyptians follow Islam, hence the cultural orientation is eastern, as easterners, people are taught by religion, culture and tradition that marriage is an institution that must be entered by all men and women and it's frowned upon by society when men and women stay single after a certain age (especially women), although this mentality is rapidly fading in Asia, it's still widely considered the norm in Africa and the sub Saharan countries, hence you think that the ultimately you expect a relationship with a women should end in marriage having kids and continuation of your family, on the other hand if you're a Muslim, and according to my limited understanding of the Sharia (spellings) law I posses, divorce is considerably easy (you say thalak three times and return all the dowry the woman brought with her and you're a free man), am I right so far???

Now you look at the modern western culture, where people are more self oriented, and tend to have more cultural freedom, here society or religion does not force people to live their lives according to religious texts or obligation, the definition of family is different from what it's in the eastern cultures, so naturally this has given them freedom of choosing there partner as they please, marriage is not easily entered as it's very hard to get out of it once you enter it; hence the boyfriend girlfriend concept, children are considered as the responsibility of their parents regardless of the fact weather they're married or not, when someone neglects these responsibilities the government steps in and take necessary measures, and the lack of legal document (marriage certificate) doesn't mean that these partnerships are carries less importance in society.



Hope this wall of text answers your question!!!

The name you give to a relationship is not important, what's important is the spirit that you enter in to the relationship, both systems has there pro's and cons it's up to you to make up your mind on how you want to live your life.

Agreeable statement. Marriage is indeed a very complicated thing. The differences of our cultures regarding it have a great part in us getting in to it. Overall though, it must be something that we all should not take for granted. The BF/GF part is that point in your life where you get to know each other so, you can never say "why not marry right away?". If you belong to a culture where doing "it" before marriage is still unacceptable then, don't do so. After all, that act is meant to be done after marriage from the start.

"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof leads to destruction" Taken from the book of Proverbs.

What's important here is that you know what is right and what is wrong and not find justifications to make wrong things right. Do what you think is right and judge not the others. You can start with thinking about that "act" and its consequences. If you find it easy to leave your son/daughter to grow up away from you (in the case where you got your GF pregnant and you realized you're not meant for each other) then, do away without being cautious. If its the other way around then, you either wait for the right person and wait to do it after marriage, or be super cautious.

Love, marriage, the act, kids, they all should jive in together. I do not live in a country where divorce is easily done nor do we just leave our kids to grow up with different parents. I could not imagine how I would have taken life if my parents would lived with separate partners. Probably not when I was a kid. (Grown up now, I think I can handle.xd)

Its amazing though how kids - who live where divorce is easy - manage to live on in such a dilemma. Yet, strong as they have become though, I'm pretty sure it have been really difficult for them to overcome that point in their lives, where they lived in the pain of loosing their parents.

Hmm, to close, I would probably say, either you don't take marriage for granted or you don't take making kids for granted.xd

(Yay! that was quite a long post!xd)

 

[sinbad]

You know i've had an egyptian guy ask me the same question. He lives in Dubai right now thats where i met him.

And he too whas completly puzzled with the same question. I'll give you a proper explanation and you'll see that you live in a whole other world that has nothing to do with commitment. And honestly the guy i knew had the same mentality and i wanted to smack he's face for it too. Like your culture is not the same as mine is it cause you people are scared and chicken?

Dude i now too want to flame you so bad. Do you understand why i and others hate you now?

Good, lets move on.

First of all why would we have to be afraid? We have this thing called divorce, wich means we can end the marriage so i find it pretty much a stupid (and narrow view) assumption of you to say cause you fear commitment. Cause you can easily get out of it. (i'd love flame so bad on this part but i wont). And because you can easily get out of it just doesn't have the same value as it does for you people in your culture. Look at people in hollywood they marry all the time and divorce all the time. Thing is not everyone has the money to go around paying for marridges every 2 years or so. Ofcourse normal stay with the same woman for approx 10 to 20 years. Some there entire lives it depends on what both the couple wants.

Second because the woman here are 100% the equal of men. No bride treasure or whatever (i don't egyopt has this but lots of islamcountriues have it so). Also if you say wife shut she must shut up (or be slapped around or stonyfied or whatever they do in muslim countries i don't even want to know). I know Egypt is not pakistan but still. Here the wife doesn't have to listen any more then you do. So because of this there is a much bigger chance of divorce.

All of this marriage and divorce bussiness is really really expensive. Also when divorcing your assets become devided. In most cases the men have more money because they work more hours woman. So suppose the woman has saved 1000$ and the man has saved 2000$. They each would get (1000$+2000$)/2=1500$ per person. The woman has gained 500$ the man has lost 500$. It can be the other way around as well if the woman has 2000$ and the man has 1000$. Do you understand that?

All of this makes our marriage a completly diffrent setting than what you understand.

I on the other hand will not marry even though i have a g/f for 8 years now. I'm an atheist will not marry because it is a religious thing. Just like you will mary because you feel you have to i feel that i shouldn't.

Now there you have it. answered the question and tried to keep my cool. But just so as you know it's the' same thing like talking bad of islam you people get pissed too. Don't talk bad about my culture it makes want to rip your ****ing head off! So i really hate you and hope you ****ing die.

who told you that women isn't equal to men here in egypt they have the same rights beside divorce here isn't that easy u ppl imagin from the point of the egyptain law belive me u have to bay alot to ur ex wife and her children if you have
lets say that i am muslim and gf/bf relationship is forbidden for us but what about the christian they think the same way this isn't a religion matter it is about how do you think about yourself and what do you think of your lover

 

[ZK]

*didn't read any of the walls of text.

Depends...

 

[Sonne]

what about the christian they think the same way

No they don`t,you are allowed to have a girlfriend,it is actually a given thing to have a girlfriend.

 

[kanesannin]

Christians act that way, yes but strictly speaking in traditional christianity extra-marital relationships are not encouraged. The 17th - 18 th century enlightenment changed people's views......before that, the western world was even more conservative and generally worse than some parts of the world are today.......that's why EDUCATION is important.

 

[Vincent]

No they don`t,you are allowed to have a girlfriend,it is actually a given thing to have a girlfriend.

shows how much you know... in the roman catholic faith (the older form of christianity compared to the protestant stuff) prohibits intimate relations before marriage.

 

[sinbad]

as i said before it isn't religion matter because gf/bf r the same as marriage because marriage isn't just A piece of paper it is about the commitment you make and having ur woman as gf this mean that u donot trust her or you cannot spend the rest of your life with her

 

[Sonne]

shows how much you know... in the roman catholic faith (the older form of christianity compared to the protestant stuff) prohibits intimate relations before marriage.

And again,show`s how much you know.

Catholic isn`t the oldest for of Christianity,Orthodox is,they were all Orthodox when in the Medieval there was a separation.
First complete empire to take up on Christianity was Byzantium,after the death of Constantine something (Last year`s history,don`t really remember),the whole Empire was pured into Christianity,he alone was a Paganist,baptized minutes before his death.

Also,you don`t have to have *** with your girlfriend,a girlfriend is exactly what the name suggest`s,a girl,who is your friend.

 

[JG2480]

who told you that women isn't equal to men here in egypt they have the same rights beside divorce here isn't that easy u ppl imagin from the point of the egyptain law belive me u have to bay alot to ur ex wife and her children if you have
lets say that i am muslim and gf/bf relationship is forbidden for us but what about the christian they think the same way this isn't a religion matter it is about how do you think about yourself and what do you think of your lover

Yeah ok sorry for my being an ass, i had to work with some african people recently who where islam and they where so unrespectfull i don't even want to talk about it (its not your fault). So i shouldn't give you crap of making assumptions while i did it myself and i must appologize.

To truly understand i really think you'll have to visit a western country for a while to just see how we our culture differs from yours.

 

[Ishikage]

Commitment takes many forms. Marriage, for me, is imaginary. I can stand in front of everyone I know and promise to be together forever. But since I am not religious, it won't be recognized as such. And I don't believe the government has any say who I choose to sleep with. So in my eyes, there is no organization capable of giving, or taking sanction away, sanction of my personal relationship. Marriage is not a true commitment, because it is not binding. There is no one in my family who is still married to their first spouse. That's both sets of grandparents, 10 aunts and uncles, my parents, and some of my cousins. You can end it whenever you choose. Real commitment is eternal and internal.

 

[sinbad]

Yeah ok sorry for my being an ass, i had to work with some african people recently who where islam and they where so unrespectfull i don't even want to talk about it (its not your fault). So i shouldn't give you crap of making assumptions while i did it myself and i must appologize.

To truly understand i really think you'll have to visit a western country for a while to just see how we our culture differs from yours.

no problem bro

Commitment takes many forms. Marriage, for me, is imaginary. I can stand in front of everyone I know and promise to be together forever. But since I am not religious, it won't be recognized as such. And I don't believe the government has any say who I choose to sleep with. So in my eyes, there is no organization capable of giving, or taking sanction away, sanction of my personal relationship. Marriage is not a true commitment, because it is not binding. There is no one in my family who is still married to their first spouse. That's both sets of grandparents, 10 aunts and uncles, my parents, and some of my cousins. You can end it whenever you choose. Real commitment is eternal and internal.

this mean that u donot belive in love or u just donot trust ur gf enough to spend the rest of your life with her ( i found this realy strange but it is your culture i guess that i willn't be able to understand ur culture ) no offence i didn't mean to make any one get angry i just wanted to know

 

[Kushan]

who told you that women isn't equal to men here in egypt they have the same rights beside divorce here isn't that easy u ppl imagin from the point of the egyptain law belive me u have to bay alot to ur ex wife and her children if you have
lets say that i am muslim and gf/bf relationship is forbidden for us but what about the christian they think the same way this isn't a religion matter it is about how do you think about yourself and what do you think of your lover

as i said before it isn't religion matter because gf/bf r the same as marriage because marriage isn't just A piece of paper it is about the commitment you make and having ur woman as gf this mean that u donot trust her or you cannot spend the rest of your life with her

no problem bro



this mean that u donot belive in love or u just donot trust ur gf enough to spend the rest of your life with her ( i found this realy strange but it is your culture i guess that i willn't be able to understand ur culture ) no offence i didn't mean to make any one get angry i just wanted to know

Sinbad; you're completely missing the point, what you don't seem to know or understand is that modern marriage or rather the origins of it is in religions, religious texts such as the 10 commandments, 5 principals of Buddhism are some of the oldest forms of law, when the modern man was a mere shell of his civilised state, when small tribes of prehistoric humans lived in caves marriage was not practices but domestic partnerships between a man and a woman existed, when tribes grew larger and thing got complicated the concept of property came to be, a man's hut, a man's woman etc. with ownership came the challenge of protecting what they own, and from this laws were dictated, and laws were based on what ever the religious practices the said tribe practised.

Religion is a major influential factor of culture and society, so weather you like it or not marriage has everything to do with religion and culture, furthermore the value given to a marriage in your society is given to similar relationships in other societies, I'm from the east by birth but I've spent a majority of my adult life in a western country, so when I say this I say it with experience and with facts, it's not that GF/BF scenarios are any less respected, a BF/GF living together for more than a year, has the same rights as a married couple, so your it has nothing to do with lack of love or doubt about their love, it's a matter of necessity, for you to show your love to a women in Egypt you have to marry, in the western world they have more freedom, hence they need a permission slip from the government to have *** with the woman/man they choose that is the only difference

 

[sinbad]

Sinbad; you're completely missing the point, what you don't seem to know or understand is that modern marriage or rather the origins of it is in religions, religious texts such as the 10 commandments, 5 principals of Buddhism are some of the oldest forms of law, when the modern man was a mere shell of his civilised state, when small tribes of prehistoric humans lived in caves marriage was not practices but domestic partnerships between a man and a woman existed, when tribes grew larger and thing got complicated the concept of property came to be, a man's hut, a man's woman etc. with ownership came the challenge of protecting what they own, and from this laws were dictated, and laws were based on what ever the religious practices the said tribe practised.

Religion is a major influential factor of culture and society, so weather you like it or not marriage has everything to do with religion and culture, furthermore the value given to a marriage in your society is given to similar relationships in other societies, I'm from the east by birth but I've spent a majority of my adult life in a western country, so when I say this I say it with experience and with facts, it's not that GF/BF scenarios are any less respected, a BF/GF living together for more than a year, has the same rights as a married couple, so your it has nothing to do with lack of love or doubt about their love, it's a matter of necessity, for you to show your love to a women in Egypt you have to marry, in the western world they have more freedom, hence they need a permission slip from the government to have *** with the woman/man they choose that is the only difference

u mean it is all about divorce and law matters
and
i didn't get what do u mean by (a BF/GF living together for more than a year, has the same rights as a married couple )

 

[Nikkou Arashi]

u mean it is all about divorce and law matters
and
i didn't get what do u mean by (a BF/GF living together for more than a year, has the same rights as a married couple )

You know, I'm beginning to think that you just want to do it with your GF and yet you are confused if its right or wrong. Truth is, it is wrong because it is wrong, right from the start.U_U It has just come this far with other cultures as people start to say things to justify the act and make it right.

So if your conscience really bugs you that much. Don't do it. Wait for the right time. Also, better not think about it so as you don't be tempted.

 

[sinbad]

You know, I'm beginning to think that you just want to do it with your GF and yet you are confused if its right or wrong. Truth is, it is wrong because it is wrong, right from the start.U_U It has just come this far with other cultures as people start to say things to justify the act and make it right.

So if your conscience really bugs you that much. Don't do it. Wait for the right time. Also, better not think about it so as you don't be tempted.

no way i won't do such thing with woman isn't my wife it is shame here for the man or woman to do this things beside when i get in love i will get marry it isn't about cultur or religon because i can get gf secretly and no one will know .
but i will always take the responsibility for my actions i donot run or hid any thing this is my way of life

u can see that in my sig (happy to be myself)

 

[MentalJerk]

Girlfriend = To bang. "protection, protection, protection"
Wife= To spend all life agoning over tons of women and regretting having a wife. "it's also the proper excuse for having LEGAL kids".

 

[Kushan]

u mean it is all about divorce and law matters
and
i didn't get what do u mean by (a BF/GF living together for more than a year, has the same rights as a married couple )

OK let me break if down for you, first to answer your question, in Australia where I live when a man and a woman live in the same household as domestic partners without marrying (BF/GF living together in the same house), after 1 year it becomes a de facto relationship where each individual posses the same rights as a married couple, for example while you're in a de facto relationship if either partner dies the living person will have a right to inherit whatever is left behind by the dead person (money, property etc.) so does their biological and adopted children.

You seem to go on about people not believing in there love, afraid of committing to one relationship, but this is simply your narrow minded perspective that you've gained from what someone told you or what you've seen in a movie or TV, don't believe everything you see on tele, it portrays western women like nymphos and men to be gigolos; the reality is truthfully far from it. One can argue the opposite of what you're saying, it's because you don't trust your love and has no faith in your partner, that you choose to legally bind them to you through marriage, in your case when broken could be punishable by death, so who has less faith in their love you or me

Of course I talk about laws marriage and divorce, it's very simple isn't it; it's because marriage is a legal institution, weather you like it or not and *** and love are emotion and when your try to legalise emotions you have to speak of legal stuff :|

 

[John Constantine]

no way i won't do such thing with woman isn't my wife it is shame here for the man or woman to do this things beside when i get in love i will get marry it isn't about cultur or religon because i can get gf secretly and no one will know .
but i will always take the responsibility for my actions i donot run or hid any thing this is my way of life

u can see that in my sig (happy to be myself)

You just described the religion of being a faggot. Kudos!​

 

[Nikkou Arashi]

Girlfriend = To bang. "protection, protection, protection"
Wife= To spend all life agoning over tons of women and regretting having a wife. "it's also the proper excuse for having LEGAL kids".

O_O Likewise then:
Boyfriend = a slave of his own desire xd
Husband = to spend life in calvary, a burden, a cross to carry forever
Peace!:T_T: