Thoughts on Dating Someone with Kids

[Umari Senju]

The most important thing is to take it slow. REALLY REALLY get to know the other part really well before getting involved and calling it a "relationship". Don't move together for atleast 1-2 years. Make sure that if you're going to move in with the other part, it's going to last and it's NOT going to be anything like her/his previous relationship.

You must understand that you're not just getting into a relationship with the parent, but you'll also be a part of the kids lives.
Understand that if you get another child with this man/woman YOU MUST ALWAYS understand that you can't love your own kid more than the other bonus-kids. EVERY KID should be treated equal, ALWAYS.

This! so much truth. I dated someone with kids once for 6 years. Moved in together on year 3. I grew close to his (yes he) kids. And when the relationship ended I was not only breaking up with him but his kids as well. I loved the hell out them too.

While it was hard to do I don't regret my time with them at all and we are still good friends to this day.

 

[System001]

Not mentioning gender wouldn't make me sexist.
Did i segregate the genders for no other reason then their *** ? No.
Could he possibly be Homosexual ? Yes.
Is it statistically a higher possibility that he is a heterosexual ? Yes indeed.
If anything i made an assumption.Not a sexist remark.You should learn the difference before making assumptions of your own.

Jumped to conclusions and pulled some far left argument out cho ass without even stopping to consider other possibilities or perspectives.

 

[Avani]

LoL, since when did he specify gender? If anyone is sexist here it seems to be you.

It's a sound guess.

I doubt any of the guys here are going to tell a girl not to date a guy who has kids. But of course feel free to pretend it's not the case.

 

[Punk Hazard]

I probably could, depending on how much I like her and the kid.

TO ME it's stupid and you dealing with somebody else mistake.

I love how you capitalized "to me," like that means people wouldn't be able to respond in disagreement or something.

 

[BenjerminGaye]

It's a sound guess.

I doubt any of the guys here are going to tell a girl not to date a guy who has kids. But of course feel free to pretend it's not the case.

Don't date a person with kids, male or female doesn't matter. Thats a can of worms that need not be opened, in a 7 billion deep planet.

 

[Edward Snowden]

Avoid it at all costs. It's not worth it.

Just pump her and dump her.

 

[CosmicPlayground]

Jumped to conclusions and pulled some far left argument out cho ass without even stopping to consider other possibilities or perspectives.

"Pulled some far left assumptions" ? Its called statistics.
And i already said the logic still applies regardless of gender when BenjerminGaye brought up the possibility of the person with kids being a male. But i guess your not in the habit of reading before YOU jump to conclusions ? If replied to you in kind with anything remotely hinting or implying that could not be the case {That single single fathers exist} then your argument would have merit.



But, the fact that i acknowledged that the scenario does exist and the logic of going about a relationship would be the same it showcases that i am not sexist.As i said before i merely made an assumption.
Context is important and its something you are severely lacking.

Your insistence on replying back on a matter that is already solved is pitiful.

 

[System001]

*Runs away from the thread before he gets banned*
My two cents; my logical mind says f'no to raising anyone else progeny. But the humanitarian in me is all 'but think of the kids!'. I'm all for adoption, can really change a childs life, but I'd have to feel that the kid was really special for me to personally do it.
But the question was dating someone with kids, not marrying or anything of that sort, so yeah sure, why not. Except I'd remained thoroughly uninvolved in any domestic/child based affairs. Ideally the kids wouldn't even see me, screw single parents who introduce their kids to a new person every year or some shit.

 

[CosmicPlayground]

It's a sound guess.

I doubt any of the guys here are going to tell a girl not to date a guy who has kids. But of course feel free to pretend it's not the case.

After BenjerminGaye pointed out there is a possibility it could be male i told him it doesn't change the advice.
So i said something like it changes the whole scenario or that is a different ball park that would indicate sexism.
What i did and what you are doing right now

"I doubt any of the guys here are going to tell a girl not to date a guy who has kids. But of course feel free to pretend it's not the case."

Is making an assumption.

We all make mistakes.
Its no big deal once you recognize it.
People like Scaze however,seem to want to argue for arguments sake.

 

[Edward Snowden]

Having kids prior to a current relationship or potential relationship isn't a cornerstone of basing ones self worth and value.

Except that, it is.

 

[CosmicPlayground]

Except that, it is.

No it really isn't.

Character and your actions dictate who you are and how others act in response.
Basing someones value on whether they have kids and are in a relationship with someone else is just baseless judgement otherwise known as an assumption.A very ignorant and crass assumption at that.

You ignore the history of the two who conceived the children and filter your own bias and stereotypes to fill in for the stuff you don't know about them and that makes you ridiculous.

Given your picture and the little quote above the Like/Dislike option leads me to believe your some type of pseudo-intellectual.

 

[Edward Snowden]

No it really isn't.

Character and your actions dictate who you are and how others act in response.
Basing someones value on whether they have kids and are in a relationship with someone else is just baseless judgement otherwise known as an assumption.A very ignorant and crass assumption at that.

You ignore the history of the two who conceived the children and filter your own bias and stereotypes to fill in for the stuff you don't know about them.

It exhibits the person's character that she is careless and irresponsible.

 

[JStar King]

What an inept and low class thing to say.Really stupid.

Having kids prior to a current relationship or potential relationship isn't a cornerstone of basing ones self worth and value.
You have a very sexist stereotypical male view of the relationships and women in general.Its not for you to judge someone based off a relationship you have no information on.

Relationships fail for many reasons. Irreconcilable differences,fidelity,overall trust issues,abuse psychically and mentally.
Maybe the father was a deadbeat and was never in the picture at all ?


OP: Children can makes things more intricate but they also add a whole new dynamic and that could help you two bond and grow even closer.Women with kids have priorities.Maybe she just wants a fling or maybe she doesn't have any preexisting notions of this becoming more than what it initially is but,its worth noting that with certain priorities trust,reliability and consistency are most important.Take things slow and really decide whether you want to be apart of this family before integrating yourself in case you decide to pull out.It is not like a relationship with a single childless woman.That is not meant to make you doubt yourself or the relationship its just something that comes with the territory.

Dating someone with kids isn't wrong, but imagine having a run in with the baby daddy.

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[Avani]

*Runs away from the thread before he gets banned*
My two cents; my logical mind says f'no to raising anyone else progeny. But the humanitarian in me is all 'but think of the kids!'. I'm all for adoption, can really change a childs life, but I'd have to feel that the kid was really special for me to personally do it.
But the question was dating someone with kids, not marrying or anything of that sort, so yeah sure, why not. Except I'd remained thoroughly uninvolved in any domestic/child based affairs. Ideally the kids wouldn't even see me, screw single parents who introduce their kids to a new person every year or some shit.

*Inserts eye-roll here

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*

Well I don't advise anyone to date people that randomly in the first place and that goes double for people with kids. Find a better social support system if you are that lonely rather than looking for random people who are in it just for short fun and have little to no respect or consideration for you or your kids. So I don't really care for rest of the argument over it.

 

[Edward Snowden]

Dating someone with kids isn't wrong

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[JStar King]

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You never know. You two might click.

 

[CosmicPlayground]

It exhibits the person's character that she is careless and irresponsible.

Once again.No it doesn't.

You are making ASSUMPTIONS about their character based on stereotypes.

Relationships fail for many reasons. Irreconcilable differences,fidelity,overall trust issues,abuse psychically and mentally.
The other parent could of been a deadbeat and was never in the picture at all or flaked or they could be dead.
The one thing that is clear is YOU don't know.

But you are sitting here typing away as if you do.
You sir,are retarded and lack any signs of common sense and lack all critical thought.


You will probably reply with something that translates to "I don't have to know a single thing about someones history to know something about them" and it will only highlight your stupidity to greater levels....know this......i won't reply.Its not worth the headache.Stay ignorant.

 

[CosmicPlayground]

Dating someone with kids isn't wrong, but imagine having a run in with the baby daddy.

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Depending on the involvement the awkward levels will heighten.
If the parent isn't as involved or is a piece of shit my cares will be little to none.

 

[Deadlift]

It's a sound guess.

I doubt any of the guys here are going to tell a girl not to date a guy who has kids. But of course feel free to pretend it's not the case.

Here comes the feminazi

 

[Sauce]

I don't see anything wrong with it