Should I confront my friends about this because I'm super worried

[Sakura Michiko]

I'm really upset. I am super worried about my niece(she's actually my godchild but none of us have a religion. I'm agnostic, my friend boyfriend is agnostic,and she's atheist) My niece is two and her mom and dad (my friends) never gave her a sippy cup. I brought one for her to drink because she still was drinking bottles. One of my niece's grandmother's just brought her a training potty because my niece mom and dad didn't and wasn't trying to take her to the bathroom to learn how to potty. My friends don't even discipline her.They'll post pictures of her on facebook running and setting in huge puddles and tell me they just let her do whatever and when they do "try" to discipline her they are always doing it in a joking manner or laughing or smiling at my niece when she does stuff like trying to climb on top of the refrigerator. She barely listens to her parents but when she came to my house she listened to my mom and I and her grandparents.My niece lives with her mom and I honestly do not think she is feeding her enough.My niece is really small and only a few of her cloths I buy her fit.*I'm not sure if this had something to do with the fact that my friend, the mom, had an eating disorder for a while. My friends can't even buy clothing or anything for that matter for her because they are jobless and every time my niece is with them and only with them they have her tacky. I went pick up my niece for a day and they gave her to me with a dirty shirt and she had candy all over her face and some of her hair. They didn't even bother to clean her off or change her. I had to do that. My friends don't even have a good hygiene.They always look tacky.It's like they don't even spend enough time with my niece. The mom is always posting how sad she is on facebook(which I don't think is a good idea because when she had her baby cps came because her stepdad mentioned she had ptsd and other things she was dealing with and he was trying to make her lose her kid) and my niece's dad is always playing games and his mom and dad practically watches the kid. They don't even talk to her enough and she is never around other kids. I brought her to hang out with my cousins who are 3 and 6 and she ran away from them crying.She is afraid of other kids. Should I confront my friends about their parenting? If I do how should I confront them? I'm afraid they might lose her and I can't get custody of my niece because I wouldn't be able to watch her like I want. I'm a nursing student and I have a job and my mom also has one. I'm really worried.

 

[123fire]

Watch naruto

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Watch naruto

So are you tell me to be Iruka or Jiraya?No but on a serious note I'm worried

 

[Styles]

Well I mean, if it's bad then why not try?

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Well I mean, if it's bad then why not try?

I don't know what to tell them.My boyfriend told me to tell them bluntly that they are bad parents

 

[Jazzy Stardust]

that wall of text though. i mean if you saw someone else post a wall of text like this, would you want to read it? im not trying to be mean whatsoever but some spacing wouldnt hurt. a general summary maybe?

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OT: go with what you feel is the right thing, trust yourself and your reason and action. thats the only way youre capable of knowing what you can do. its your life and your decision to make

 

[Sakura Michiko]

that wall of text though. i mean if you saw someone else post a wall of text like this, would you want to read it? im not trying to be mean whatsoever but some spacing wouldnt hurt. a general summary maybe?

---

OT: go with what you feel is the right thing, trust yourself and your reason and action. thats the only way youre capable of knowing what you can do. its your life and your decision to make

Yea I know it's a lot to read ....I probably should have spaced it as paragraph and yea I probably would have read it depending on the context and ot ok.

 

[Callypigia]

This is a boundary issue. She isn't your child, and they aren't your family. If she's in danger (i.e., physical/sexual abuse, or neglect) you have an obligation to register a complaint with CPS. If you've already made up your mind to talk to them then there's nothing anyone on here can really say. Parenting is very personal, and if you judge them it will only make them resentful. Not everyone is going to agree with your parenting style either; which is fine, that is reality. So unless the child is in danger, which in that case you refer the case to professions, it will mostly likely just cause a change in your friendship, not in their parenting skills.

 

[Styles]

I don't know what to tell them.My boyfriend told me to tell them bluntly that they are bad parents

Well I mean if that works and they listen and know it then it's worth a shot.

 

[Legendary Broly]

That's quite sad. The safest route would be to offer to spend more time with her get her accustomed to being around other kids or suggest to them to put her in day care and make it sound super beneficial like sell the idea that it's good to socialize children young. Just in general when she's around you just continue to take care of her even if it seems the parents aren't. They may see things different to you, and the last thing you want to do is get in an argument about how to parent a kid because trust me I've been there and it isn't pretty lol.

Unless it becomes super apparent the parent's are being neglectful to an extent which is unsafe for the child then I would do something more confrontational.

 

[Legendary Saiyan]

Watch naruto

Bruh you gon make her niece cry harder if she watches Naruto filler. How dare you!!

OT: Tell them. Don't hesitate.

 

[sagemode07]

This is what narutobase has become.

 

[Donald J Trump]

If you can't be bothered to write an "In conclusion " I'm not going to be bothered to read the wall of text.

 

[V h o]

Hmm might be best to talk with them and see if their parents could help. It seems they had a child too early and can't really support themselves less enough a child. I would not suggest you taking part, as you have no legal right but also you would probably become a full time nanny due to how the parents are. If the grandparents can't help, then you could try to visit more and help some. Although again, the main issue is the parents themselves, they really need to change for that family to be stable. A job would surely help keeping the girl clean and feed but it seems her behavior would most likely be the same (grandparents would fix that imo ).

Edit

You could suggest that their parents help them while they get back on their feet or something.

 

[Henry1350cent]

i just skimmed through but ya i think u should if they gonna look or act like that thats what i would do and hopefully ur words changes on their actions i guess

 

[Sakura Michiko]

This is a boundary issue. She isn't your child, and they aren't your family. If she's in danger (i.e., physical/sexual abuse, or neglect) you have an obligation to register a complaint with CPS. If you've already made up your mind to talk to them then there's nothing anyone on here can really say. Parenting is very personal, and if you judge them it will only make them resentful. Not everyone is going to agree with your parenting style either; which is fine, that is reality. So unless the child is in danger, which in that case you refer the case to professions, it will mostly likely just cause a change in your friendship, not in their parenting skills.

When she had the kid ironic she told me I was the god mother because she trust me and wants me to handle anything if something bad happens and I know she isn't my kid.I'm just worried because I don't want anything to happen.I'm not trying to call CPS because I really didn't want my friends to lose the kid.

That's quite sad. The safest route would be to offer to spend more time with her get her accustomed to being around other kids or suggest to them to put her in day care and make it sound super beneficial like sell the idea that it's good to socialize children young. Just in general when she's around you just continue to take care of her even if it seems the parents aren't. They may see things different to you, and the last thing you want to do is get in an argument about how to parent a kid because trust me I've been there and it isn't pretty lol.

Unless it becomes super apparent the parent's are being neglectful to an extent which is unsafe for the child then I would do something more confrontational.

They can't afford day care but I am planning on getting her more.

 

[Callypigia]

When she had the kid ironic she told me I was the god mother because she trust me and wants me to handle anything if something bad happens and I know she isn't my kid.I'm just worried because I don't want anything to happen.I'm not trying to call CPS because I really didn't want my friends to lose the kid.

From the little information available it doesn't really sound like a CPS issue at this point anyway, but as godparent your allegiance is to the well being of the child over your friendship. I'm the godparent for my best friend's daughter (custody would be awarded to his parents though-who are good people). Technically it has no legal bearing; it just means one is responsible for religious upbringing of the child in case of parental death. I don't agree with some of his parenting skills, but if there was no abuse/neglect occurring I wouldn't bring it up, and I used to teach parenting classes. If I had to ever make a CPS report I would, but I know it would be difficult.

I don't know how much time you spend with your god-daughter, but I would recommend keeping an eye for abuse/neglect, and being a positive role model in the time you are with her.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

This is a boundary issue. She isn't your child, and they aren't your family. If she's in danger (i.e., physical/sexual abuse, or neglect) you have an obligation to register a complaint with CPS. If you've already made up your mind to talk to them then there's nothing anyone on here can really say. Parenting is very personal, and if you judge them it will only make them resentful. Not everyone is going to agree with your parenting style either; which is fine, that is reality. So unless the child is in danger, which in that case you refer the case to professions, it will mostly likely just cause a change in your friendship, not in their parenting skills.

That's quite sad. The safest route would be to offer to spend more time with her get her accustomed to being around other kids or suggest to them to put her in day care and make it sound super beneficial like sell the idea that it's good to socialize children young. Just in general when she's around you just continue to take care of her even if it seems the parents aren't. They may see things different to you, and the last thing you want to do is get in an argument about how to parent a kid because trust me I've been there and it isn't pretty lol.

Unless it becomes super apparent the parent's are being neglectful to an extent which is unsafe for the child then I would do something more confrontational.

From the little information available it doesn't really sound like a CPS issue at this point anyway, but as godparent your allegiance is to the well being of the child over your friendship. I'm the godparent for my best friend's daughter (custody would be awarded to his parents though-who are good people). Technically it has no legal bearing; it just means one is responsible for religious upbringing of the child in case of parental death. I don't agree with some of his parenting skills, but if there was no abuse/neglect occurring I wouldn't bring it up, and I used to teach parenting classes. If I had to ever make a CPS report I would, but I know it would be difficult.

I don't know how much time you spend with your god-daughter, but I would recommend keeping an eye for abuse/neglect, and being a positive role model in the time you are with her.

I know it's not legal. I was looking into the legal options but I got so much on my plate with job and school till I wouldn't be able to be there all the time to watch her if I had custody of her but I am keeping an eye out for her and I'm going to get her every chance I can.

 

[Marin]

Tell them to either stop treating her like a toy or **** off. A kid needs discipline, love and patience not retards making cheap fun off of her.

 

[The Work]

Either tell them they need to do better or mind your own business because Nursing school is no joke.