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It's actually stated in the DB that the only way to activate MS is to kill someone close to you. The only person who didn't do this was Itachi, but he still witnessed his best friend commit suicide for him, and give him his eyes.
So in general sense, you have to either do the act yourself, or watch someone close to you die. That's my general understanding. I'll post the DB if anyone wants it, though google works too since it's a popular scan page.
The DB also stated that Tobi was Madara. It just states the facts based on the manga at the date of it's release, a lot of info is outdated.
BZ tampered with the Uchiha tablets, for years Uchiha's associated power with hate, but that curse was broken. Sarada awakened Sharingan from strong emotions of love. So strong emotions is all it takes, Mangekyo probably just needs stronger emotions to awaken, the death of a loved one achieves that, but that doesn't mean it cannot happen any other way. Especially in Sarada's case given how she awakened Sharingan.