Why do some people do like nontraditional is bad ?

[PlatinumTitan]

This is simple to answer, but hard to fix. Because the issue is in both persons.

It is all about instinct. We have a natural instinct that tells us to protect ourselves from anything that poses as a potential threat to us.
Regardless of this being a territorial threat, belief, religion, etc.
If you keep your existence long enough among these people that see you as a threat, you will soon be considered one of them and get to be accepted.

*Also, be careful that you judge someone by how they make you feel. While you might do the same thing to others without even noticing. Usually the people who complain about something are the people who do it themselves. Because one's mind cannot see what it cannot do.

To make it short: people will always protect their beliefs, traditions from someone who is nontraditional by fighting them with their own known way. It is a conservation instinct that tells you: "I fought and had a hard time to make this "tradition" strong and also believe in it. I will not let you shatter my hard work and make my spent time feel useless."
Why ? Well accept it or not, you, yourself a "nontraditional" have your own traditional way of doing things. The way you wanna do things is a tradition but just not accepted by the community yet.

In my opinion you should grow some skin if you already decided on which road to walk on.

Tradition is something passed on from generation to generation. It's impossible to make something traditional in one life. Also...a big part of being human is the ability to reject our insticts. Our ability to...reason. Nobody should have to,'grow some skin.' (though I understand why you'd say that and...it does seem quite necessary)

 

[Namar]

"Grow some skin." I'm expressing an opinion.I'm not one of those people that let people tell me whatever they want. I wouldn't be destroy anything for the traditional person because they can be traditional if they like too.

Listen, you are a great person. You are expressing a nice opinion.
Accept that you as a "nontraditional" are actually a traditional that tend to threaten the other already existing "tradition" - Mind Set -

I'm afraid that your last sentence is no making much of a sense because of the way it is written.
+If you are not one of those persons who let others tell them what they want+ Then, your mindset is the problem. You should be more open minded and put what others tell you in a balance and see what fits you right. Just because you do something different or see it different doesn't give you the right to think that the way you do it is right 100%. After all you are just a merely grown adult if not even less who barely knows the hard things in life.

 

[PlatinumTitan]

Why would you care about what someone else think.

Same reason why you'd care if someone who had influence over you looked down upon you.
Could be your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, bosses, pretty much the whole world except unacquainted strangers.
What other people think, matters.

 

[Namar]

Tradition is something passed on from generation to generation. It's impossible to make something traditional in one life. Also...a big part of being human is the ability to reject our insticts. Our ability to...reason. Nobody should have to,'grow some skin.' (though I understand why you'd say that and...it does seem quite necessary)

I understand what you say, but I'm refering to the fact that she(her mindset) is something that threatens their traditions(mindset) . Actually she's a kid that wants to have things done in her own mindset which is not bad at all because it forces people to evolve. As she wrote the article she tried to force her opinion to us as to why people are problematic of her being different. (actually those people are not problematic they are just defending, but she sees them problematic).

And as mentioned above people tend to see those who threaten their position by seeing them problematic. So, she is too acting on instinct.

You are right human beings have the power to reject instincts but this is not the case.

 

[PlatinumTitan]

Listen, you are a great person. You are expressing a nice opinion.
Accept that you as a "nontraditional" are actually a traditional that tend to threaten the other already existing "tradition" - Mind Set -

I'm afraid that your last sentence is no making much a sense because of the way it is written.
+If you are not one of those persons who let others tell them what they want+ Then, your mindset is the problem. You should be more open minded and put what others tell you in a balance and see what fits you right. Just because you do something different or see it different doesn't give you the right to think that the way you do it is right. After all you are just a merely grown adult if not even less.

No disrespect, but you seriously need to look up the definition of traditional...
You cannot make a tradition in one lifetime. So if you are,"untraditional," you are simply just that. But if your children or someone else's children follow your precedent, it becomes a tradition.

 

[BSK]

Yea I completely understand


Well I'm not up here telling people to be non traditional. I just wanna know why some people make it problematic. If anything you should grow up. Telling people that are babies is pretty immature and clearly you fail to understand my post.

It doesn't mater if you tell them do anything they are expressing there opinion. You just don't want people which is impossible.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Listen, you are a great person. You are expressing a nice opinion.
Accept that you as a "nontraditional" are actually a traditional that tend to threaten the other already existing "tradition" - Mind Set -

I'm afraid that your last sentence is no making much a sense because of the way it is written.
+If you are not one of those persons who let others tell them what they want+ Then, your mindset is the problem. You should be more open minded and put what others tell you in a balance and see what fits you right. Just because you do something different or see it different doesn't give you the right to think that the way you do it is right. After all you are just a merely grown adult if not even less.

Never really said I was right.I just don't like how I'm looked at as bad for not fitting in a social norm .I am not traditional. Traditional-a way of thinking, behaving, or doing something that has been used by the people in a particular group, family, society, etc., for a long time.My boyfriend and I are the only people in our family that feel like how we feel. It's not something that was set in motion for a long time. I said that last sentence as a responds to this "I fought and had a hard time to make this "tradition" strong and also believe in it. I will not let you shatter my hard work and make my spent time feel useless." How would I be destroying something from them if I'm not trying to change them from being traditional?

 

[PlatinumTitan]

I understand what you say, but I'm refering to the fact that she(her mindset) is something that threatens their traditions(mindset) . Actually she's a kid that wants to have things done in her own mindset which is not bad at all because it forces people to evolve. As she wrote the article she tried to force her opinion to us as to why people are problematic of her being different. (actually those people are not problematic they are just defending, but she sees them problematic).

Well the people can't be problematic. But their hate is.

 

[PlatinumTitan]

It doesn't mater if you tell them do anything they are expressing there opinion. You just don't want people which is impossible.

BSK, you're sentences are so hard to decipher. So forgive me if my reply is off topic...
Expressing an opinion is much different than acting upon it. Like her sister (or was it cousin?) attacking her. That's not expressing an opinion, that's being hateful.
I don't...recall her saying she doesn't want people. Even if she had said that...that wouldn't make much sense.

 

[Namar]

No disrespect, but you seriously need to look up the definition of traditional...
You cannot make a tradition in one lifetime. So if you are,"untraditional," you are simply just that. But if your children or someone else's children follow your precedent, it becomes a tradition.

No disrespect also, but you didn't understand what she talks about.

She doesn't talk about traditions as in form of community that means to have specific dances, etc. She talks about things like: "Oh, don't do that child because it is bad to do it that way." and she tells us something like "but i don't want it to be done in this way I see it in this color and I want it like this not how you tell me."

So, I just used her word for what she actually meant.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

No disrespect, but you seriously need to look up the definition of traditional...
You cannot make a tradition in one lifetime. So if you are,"untraditional," you are simply just that. But if your children or someone else's children follow your precedent, it becomes a tradition.

I understand what you say, but I'm refering to the fact that she(her mindset) is something that threatens their traditions(mindset) . Actually she's a kid that wants to have things done in her own mindset which is not bad at all because it forces people to evolve. As she wrote the article she tried to force her opinion to us as to why people are problematic of her being different. (actually those people are not problematic they are just defending, but she sees them problematic).

And as mentioned above people tend to see those who threaten their position by seeing them problematic. So, she is too acting on instinct.

You are right human beings have the power to reject instincts but this is not the case.

I clearly remember saying extreme traditional people as in people that attack everyone who is different.I didn't not say everyone. I'm not forcing anything because I say they can be traditional but attacking people who isn't is problematic.That would actually be trying to force people to be traditional. Nothing is wrong with my mind set. I just don't see what is wrong with not being in the social norm and Platinum does understand me

 

[PlatinumTitan]

No disrespect also, but you didn't understand what she talks about.

She doesn't talk about traditions as in form of community that means to have specific dances, etc. She talks about things like: "Oh, don't do that child because it is bad to do it that way." and she tells us something like "but i don't want it to be done in this way I see it in this color and I want it like this not how you tell me."

So, I just used her word for what she actually meant.

My understanding was her use of the word "traditional" referred to religion. Which...would be the correct way to use it.
So I'm still confused.

 

[Namar]

Well the people can't be problematic. But their hate is.

This is not about hate. She's just being a child in front of a mature community.

You have to take in account that humans are very good at variables which means that they are very good at adopting ideas no matter if they are youngsters or adults. They can see something your brain can't see yet and attach to it. Thus making you a threat to what they saw because you might not be in accordance to them.


No offense but you feel like you just wanna protect her. While no one from this forum is attacking her. She just needs to understand some things about what she does wrong and what the people around do wrong to her so she can evolve and adapt. Talking is evolving.

 

[Namar]

My understanding was her use of the word "traditional" referred to religion. Which...would be the correct way to use it.
So I'm still confused.

Yea, to be honest what she wrote is a bit confusing because she focuses on many things at once and feels like blending them in one idea or something. Gaah save me. I think she left it out to interpretation lol.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

No disrespect, but you seriously need to look up the definition of traditional...
You cannot make a tradition in one lifetime. So if you are,"untraditional," you are simply just that. But if your children or someone else's children follow your precedent, it becomes a tradition.

My understanding was her use of the word "traditional" referred to religion. Which...would be the correct way to use it.
So I'm still confused.

I don't think he is understanding my point of view. My point is I'm pretty much not apart of the social norm or some social norm. I get attacked by these extremist about how I am and looked down upon.I clearly put that I wasn't talking about all traditional people and if someone wants to be traditional that is fine but don't try to tell me I have to.But the other poster things I have a mindset problem. I just wanna know why different is looked at as bad by some.It's amazing the other poster called me a kid.But what did I do that is child like?

 

[BSK]

BSK, you're sentences are so hard to decipher. So forgive me if my reply is off topic...
Expressing an opinion is much different than acting upon it. Like her sister (or was it cousin?) attacking her. That's not expressing an opinion, that's being hateful.
I don't...recall her saying she doesn't want people. Even if she had said that...that wouldn't make much sense.

Listen infidel she just doesn't want to be judged trust me which is impossible.

 

[PlatinumTitan]

I don't think he is understanding my point of view. My point is I'm pretty much not apart of the social norm or some social norm. I get attacked by these extremist about how I am and looked down upon.I clearly put that I wasn't talking about all traditional people and if someone wants to be traditional that is fine but don't try to tell me I have to.But the other poster things I have a mindset problem. I just wanna know why different is looked at as bad by some.

I don't think he understands either...

 

[PlatinumTitan]

Listen infidel she just doesn't want to be judged trust me which is impossible.

Of course it's not possible. Everyone judges or forms an opinion of someone within seconds of just hearing a name!
She was attacked, though. That's not judgment. That's cruelty.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

No disrespect, but you seriously need to look up the definition of traditional...
You cannot make a tradition in one lifetime. So if you are,"untraditional," you are simply just that. But if your children or someone else's children follow your precedent, it becomes a tradition.

Listen infidel she just doesn't want to be judged trust me which is impossible.

Clearly that is obvious that someone is going to judge but don't you think it is a bit asinine for someone to be upset at someone who isn't the same as them?

 

[PlatinumTitan]

This is not about hate. She's just being a child in front of a mature community.

You have to take in account that humans are very good at variables which means that they are very good at adopting ideas no matter if they are youngsters or adults. They can see something your brain can't see yet and attach to it. Thus making you a threat to what they saw because you might not be in accordance to them.


No offense but you feel like you just wanna protect her. While no one from this forum is attacking her. She just needs to understand some things about what she does wrong and what the people around do wrong to her so she can evolve and adapt. Talking is evolving.

I'm truly lost as to what you're trying to say. I don't see what she wrote as being a child, she just made an observation and stated her opinion on it. I wouldn't say I'm protecting her, just standing with her. As we seem to have had similar experiences so I understand her.