"Utopic Monkeys" - Chapter One.. " The Legendary Knight "

[John Constantine]

Done reading Ch 1 chap! Haven't read the second chapter just as not to spoil myself. xd

Interesting read overall. These are the things I thought of whilst reading it:

Utopic - sounds like utopia, a dream unified classless society pushed by most communist and facists. Seems like your Utopic world works that way, in which the oligarchs rule with Saga as the totalitarian.

Regarding the characters, sorry for comparing em to Yu yu hakusho coz that's the first anime-manga I totally had an obsession following. lolol.

Shura is cool, somewhat anti-hero and badass protagonist. Pretty much hot-headed, condescending and high-handed. I could compare him to a fusion of Yusuke and Hiei in Yu yu Hakusho. It seems like Dante is more like his pacifier. Good-natured and honest to goodness person (I predicted he's brilliant or more like a genius? no?) like that of Kurama in Yu yu Hakusho.

It sounded like the knight was more of a Toguro in YYH. He's gonna be really extremely powerful fighter and venerated by many. I suppose much may be unknown about him, but for sure you're gonna reveal it one by one in the future chapters. The same goes with Saga, although not projected as a fighter, Saga may have a dirty little secret for all we know (like Daxus, the antagonist in Ultraviolet).

Regarding the plot:

Pandemic outbreak - I thought about a fusion of Aeon flux in the sense that they were sort of amassed into one single world. And then, here also comes Ultraviolet when those people who are infected were cast off and ostracized severely.

Tournament - well, it's typical in most hardcore action-packed arcade games like Tekken, DoA, etc. I also thought of YYH atm during the tournament arc when Yusuke battled with Toguro. It sounded like Shura is also gonna be facing the Knight in the final match which will be considered an epic fight.

I just wonder if you're gonna insert some female character/s around here. Lolol. Oh well, I'm off into reading the second chapter tom.

Wow.. That's some really detailed reply.
I honestly hope you become a fan and comment every chapter.
Kudos for you Chacha​

 

[harshit188]

whoa! at last i got time.....its really an epic work.

 

[Revan]

i like it, definitely a great ff. i dont have time to read the others at the moment, so i'll comment only this one now.
just some of my thoughts:
-saga is the cruel guy who exploits the bad situation to become more wealthy. too standard
- he sits in his castle. again it's too standard, it's in every third fantasy roman.
+- i like shura as the main hero because he's unusual, being the guy who tries to find an easy way to get through his live without thinking twice about something and just trying to have fun. but you introduced him as being the guy who protects his friends, which is such a standard-attitude for the main hero. i dont want to say that a guy like him shouldnt fight for his friends, just dont make it his main attribute (what happened to ichigo and actually ruined him).
+ it is an easy read with many details.
+ the elements of your story are known, but the combination is new and surprising
+ the atmosphere is great.
+ the many details you have in there also draw a better picture of your two heroes
dont weigh the minuses to hard, i have criticized it as if you were a professional author and would have written a book. apart from that you still have much time to develop your characters.
after all it's a nice chapter, one of the best ffs i have read so far.

 

[John Constantine]

Previous Chapters:​

Utopic Monkeys - Chapter 1 - " The Legendary Knight "

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Utopic Monkeys - Chapter 2 - " Ch? The Avenger, Introduction "

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Utopic Monkeys - Chapter 3 - " Ch? The Avenger, Medusa Spit "

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Utopic Monkeys - Chapter 4 - " Ch? The Avenger, Shukuchi "

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Utopic Monkeys - Chapter 5 - " Ch? The Avenger, The Revelation "

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​

Chapter 6 is OUT!!!​

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[John Constantine]

+ the many details you have in there also draw a better picture of your two heroes
dont weigh the minuses to hard, i have criticized it as if you were a professional author and would have written a book. apart from that you still have much time to develop your characters.
after all it's a nice chapter, one of the best ffs i have read so far.

Thanks alot.. That's a huge compliment by comparing me with Professional authors already.
I'll make my efforts to do everything the best i can and not seem "Amateurish"..​

 

[NipponIchi]

pretty good man

 

[Since yesterday]

Awesome read, heading to chapter 2

 

[John Constantine]

pretty good man

Awesome read, heading to chapter 2

Thanks for the comments, guys.
This will get even better..​

 

[Kisame Hoshigaki Monster]

<div class="bbWrapper">This FanFiction is probably the best i ever read. As others are saying and with reason this needs an anime because it's simply that awesome.<br /> Congratulations and almost 500 views in only a few days.<br /> Talk about talent!</div>

 

[John Constantine]

whoa! at last i got time.....its really an epic work.

Thanks alot Harshit188. Means alot coming from you. You do insane drwings by the way, keep them up.​

This FanFiction is probably the best i ever read. As others are saying and with reason this needs an anime because it's simply that awesome.
Congratulations and almost 500 views in only a few days.
Talk about talent!

Thanks a ton. And i'm very pleased that most guys that read it think that way as well, just goes to show that i'm doing something different then the other and that i'm displaying something special.
To tell you the truth it's hard to stay motivated as most of us FanFiction writers don't have the support of the Mod's and Admins. but i was able to get some attention and create some type of following from other regular users and i'm grateful to them as they are the ones who keep me going and on track.
Again, thanks alot and i hope you keep following this FanFiction as it has much more to deliver that what already did.​

 

[King Dante]

This FanFiction is probably the best i ever read. As others are saying and with reason this needs an anime because it's simply that awesome.
Congratulations and almost 500 views in only a few days.
Talk about talent!

He's an asshole believe me but he's also the best in what he does,i have to admit.

 

[King Dante]

More than 500 views idiot older brother!!!!!!!​

 

[Tenma]

Very Good!Keep it up

 

[John Constantine]

Very Good!Keep it up

Thanks.. Just keep on reading it, you won't regret!​

 

[John Constantine]

I will not continue this FanFiction. Reason being because my Chapter 9 got closed because of some words that society uses everyday.
Don't be so hypocrit, violence, faulty language and *** are our everyday bread.
And i even got infracted.. People ask me to write, i deliver something good and then i even get hit by it.​

 

[Uchiha Obito Kun]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/goto/post?id=1904401" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1904401">Kenshin Himura said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent"> <i><div style="text-align: center"><span style="color: Blue">I will not continue this FanFiction. Reason being because my Chapter 9 got closed because of some words that society uses everyday.<br /> Don't be so hypocrit, violence, faulty language and *** are our everyday bread.<br /> And i even got infracted.. People ask me to write, i deliver something good and then i even get hit by it.</span>&#8203;</div></i> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink"><a>Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Keep writing, mods just wanna bring you down because you are the best in what you do.</div>

 

[Sharingan Kakashi]

Kenshin, continue this. You were made for the spotlight.

 

[Zoro]

I have read Chapter 1 to 8 and read the entire "Chapter 9 Incident" and i have to say i became a fan of yours.

You are just so cocky and conceded but yet you back it up with an enormous talent.
You act like the best because you know you are the best and you have the "right in everyone's faces" type of attitude. Alot of people will dislike you but much more will love you and it shows by the feedback you have gotten in such short amount of time.

I to think you should continue and agree with the above poster that you have the type of spotlight attitude and personality with an enormous charisma.

I'm anxious to see Shura in action and very interested in discovering more about characters like Saga, Morbid & the Legendary Knight. If Ch? is alive, the potential of Dante.
So keep them coming, don't let this whole incident get you down as you are clearly the best. Such incident wouldn't have happened if you weren't the best around here.

Keep the chapters coming when you get un-banned Captain Charisma. You won another reader.

 

[Uchiha Obito Kun]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/goto/post?id=1891162" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1891162">Mugiwara said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent"> It was wrong on his behalf, and he got infracted for it, which led to a ban, because of too many infraction points.<br /> 3 days. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink"><a>Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>It seems like Golden Boy of the Fanfiction world got banned for 3 days. Let's see if he provide us with more Fanfiction greatness when he comes back. But doesn't seems likely, though.</div>

 

[Neji of the white eyes]

It seems like Golden Boy of the Fanfiction world got banned for 3 days. Let's see if he provide us with more Fanfiction greatness when he comes back. But doesn't seems likely, though.

The entire altercation was quite ridiculous between everyone involved. Author, fans and staff. Pretty much avoidable. Will just have to wait and see if the "Golden Boy" keeps writing.