Kids and Gender Neutral

[Cruciatus]

I'll let them pick their own toys Lol

 

[Senju Bean]

Why be gender neutral? What possible benefit could there be?

 

[Punk Hazard]

Why be gender neutral? What possible benefit could there be?

Your kids finding and choosing what makes them happy rather than pressure of what society says should make them happy and fit in?

 

[Senju Bean]

Your kids finding and choosing what makes them happy rather than pressure of what society says should make them happy and fit in?

When I was a kid, not doing hw, skipping school and watching TV all the time would have made me very happy.

Thank god my parents stopped me from doing that.


Kids don't know what they want.

 

[Punk Hazard]

When I was a kid, not doing hw, skipping school and watching TV all the time would have made me very happy.

Thank god my parents stopped me from doing that.


Kids don't know what they want.

Yeah, that's harmful and has negative effects. There aren't any negative effects to letting your son do things that are normally associated as a "girl" thing and vice versa. Obviously you wouldn't let your kid do something that's gonna harm him.

 

[Senju Bean]

Yeah, that's harmful and has negative effects. There aren't any negative effects to letting your son do things that are normally associated as a "girl" thing and vice versa. Obviously you wouldn't let your kid do something that's gonna harm him.

Well, he'll get bullied for it. So yeah, that's harmful as well.

 

[-immortal-]

What's girly?

Girly dols, princess houses etc.

 

[Punk Hazard]

Well, he'll get bullied for it. So yeah, that's harmful as well.

Don't victim blame. If your kid is bullied for doing something, it's not his fault, the bully is a piece of shit. If someone is bullying your child, you handle the bully, you don't compromise your child, because then you're picking the bully's side over your own child's.

 

[Senju Bean]

Don't victim blame. If your kid is bullied for doing something, it's not his fault, the bully is a piece of shit. If someone is bullying your child, you handle the bully, you don't compromise your child, because then you're picking the bully's side over your own child's.

No you can't handle the bully. Because it's isn't one bully. It's all of society.


It's not that much of a compromise because suffering from bullies would be worse than not being able to play with a girly toy.


Here's an example in general.

I don't like to wear shirts, but if I want to fit in and not look like a bum, I'll wear the shirt.

Wearing that shirt instead of going shirtless would annoy me and make me slightly uncomfortable, but it isn't that bad.

Not as bad as not fitting in and looking like a bum

 

[Punk Hazard]

No you can't handle the bully. Because it's isn't one bully. It's all of society.


It's not that much of a compromise because suffering from bullies would be worse than not being able to play with a girly toy.


Here's an example in general.

I don't like to wear shirts, but if I want to fit in and not look like a bum, I'll wear the shirt.

Wearing that shirt instead of going shirtless would annoy me and make me slightly uncomfortable, but it isn't that bad.

Not as bad as not fitting in and looking like a bum

Hardly. There are just many people these days who don't give a **** that a guy is playing with a doll or a girl is playing football. If you're gonna teach your kid to compromise his happiness to make society happy rather than teach him how to do what makes him happy while not harming him or others, then you're free to do so. Society will always judge you. No matter what you do, wear, look like or say, there will be a part of society that will say "You're wrong." Shit, there's a part of society that will say it's wrong for him to be forced to do "guy" things just because he's a guy, even if he doesn't like or want to. You will never please society, living your life trying is a life you won't be happy with, so you might as well teach your kid to do what makes him happy.

 

[Senju Bean]

Hardly. There are just many people these days who don't give a **** that a guy is playing with a doll or a girl is playing football. If you're gonna teach your kid to compromise his happiness to make society happy rather than teach him how to do what makes him happy while not harming him or others, then you're free to do so. Society will always judge you. No matter what you do, wear, look like or say, there will be a part of society that will say "You're wrong." Shit, there's a part of society that will say it's wrong for him to be forced to do "guy" things just because he's a guy, even if he doesn't like or want to. You will never please society, living your life trying is a life you won't be happy with, so you might as well teach your kid to do what makes him happy.

It's isn't even that much of a compromise.


There were so many toys that I wanted when I was a kid. It didn't destroy me to not get them all.

Who get's full blown depression over toys?

 

[Punk Hazard]

It's isn't even that much of a compromise.


There were so many toys that I wanted when I was a kid. It didn't destroy me to not get them all.

Who get's full blown depression over toys?

It's not just toys. If your kid wants to play with dolls, and he gets bullied for it, and you make him stop, that sends the message that the bully was right. That sends the message that there's something wrong with him for what he likes. That creates doubt. Insecurity. That sends the message that it's more important to do what society says is cool or what he should do, rather than what makes him happy. And while this has its positive sides, it also has major negatives. You can't send the message that making society happy is better than making yourself happy all the time. And it's not like it's gonna be just one thing. It's not like it's gonna be one doll. There are many other "gender roles" that you're gonna make your conform to. That's gonna send the message that you have to live life based on what other people say you should be, rather than what makes you happy. Instead of thinking "Okay, this makes me happy, it's not harming anyone or impeding on anyone, I'll do it", the criteria becomes "Will society be happy with this." Society's happiness and comfort comes after your child's.

 

[Senju Bean]

It's not just toys. If your kid wants to play with dolls, and he gets bullied for it, and you make him stop, that sends the message that the bully was right. That sends the message that there's something wrong with him for what he likes. That creates doubt. Insecurity. That sends the message that it's more important to do what society says is cool or what he should do, rather than what makes him happy. And while this has its positive sides, it also has major negatives. You can't send the message that making society happy is better than making yourself happy all the time. And it's not like it's gonna be just one thing. It's not like it's gonna be one doll. There are many other "gender roles" that you're gonna make your conform to. That's gonna send the message that you have to live life based on what other people say you should be, rather than what makes you happy. Instead of thinking "Okay, this makes me happy, it's not harming anyone or impeding on anyone, I'll do it", the criteria becomes "Will society be happy with this." Society's happiness and comfort comes after your child's.

Of course the child's overall happiness comes first before society.

But when there is a conflict between the two, you must weigh the outcomes.


If he is dying to play with girly toys, and not doing so would make him insane and suicidal, then sure, it's the girly toys over society.


But if he only has a passing interest on such toys, then maybe he would be happier to loose that toy.

Hey, I had a girly toy when I was really young. Parents took it away. I didn't cry or anything. I just played with other toys. It didn't destroy me.

I'm not sad that that happened. The toy didn't define me. I don't have a inclination to girly things today.

 

[CornyRainbow]

Nope, I would nt smack the boy for playing with Barbie though

Do you think gender is a social construct?

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People tweeting things like this are what really grinds my gears. I swear sometimes people act like their too open-minded and holy to accept that announcing whether a baby is a boy or girl isn't going to scar them up for life. If they want to change their gender when they are older then they can do as they please but as of right..They are either a male or female or both.

Having a 5 month old baby wear blue isn't going to make them turn into a depressed transgender when they are 25. Maybe if all these goddamn SJW's would sit the hell down somewhere and stop acting like their some goddamn reformed Jesus then just maybe people will start to give AF and consider this whole "LET DA BAEBAE PICK ITS OWN GENDER, HUUUUR SOCIETY IS SO CRAPPY FOR ANNOUNCING IT WITHOUT THE CHILD'S CONSENT!!"

OT: I might and I might not. I'll most likely get boy toys for my son and girl toys for my daughter because I personally prefer it that way but if they desire to have the opposite gender toy then I might buy it. Idk... Aint no barbies or Bratz in my household though.

 

[Punk Hazard]

Of course the child's overall happiness comes first before society.

But when there is a conflict between the two, you must weigh the outcomes.


If he is dying to play with girly toys, and not doing so would make him insane and suicidal, then sure, it's the girly toys over society.


But if he only has a passing interest on such toys, then maybe he would be happier to loose that toy.

Hey, I had a girly toy when I was really young. Parents took it away. I didn't cry or anything. I just played with other toys. It didn't destroy me.

I'm not sad that that happened. The toy didn't define me. I don't have a inclination to girly things today.

I understand that, but there's also the messages that it sends. You didn't think anything of it, but who's to say you're son might not? Who's to say your son won't realize that the bully made him feel bad for liking what he liked, then his dad took it away, so there might be something wrong with him?

There's also the fact that you are essentially taking the bully's side. Yes, you're not bullying the child, but you both have the view that something is wrong with your son playing with the toy. He expressed it maliciously, and you expressed it by taking it away. That can send the message to your son he deserved the bullying.

 

[Senju Bean]

I understand that, but there's also the messages that it sends. You didn't think anything of it, but who's to say you're son might not? Who's to say your son won't realize that the bully made him feel bad for liking what he liked, then his dad took it away, so there might be something wrong with him?

There's also the fact that you are essentially taking the bully's side. Yes, you're not bullying the child, but you both have the view that something is wrong with your son playing with the toy. He expressed it maliciously, and you expressed it by taking it away. That can send the message to your son he deserved the bullying.

You raise a good point. If he is bullied because of his race, then it is of course unacceptable. If the bully wanted to take lunch money. Unacceptable.

However, there are somethings that most would shun, just because it's the nature of the group.

That is why it's also important to let the kid know to not reveal their personalities all the time. I believe that guns should be legal, yet, I never talk about it with my liberal friends, I believe that legalizing weed would help society, yet I don't talk about it with my conservative friends.

Revealing one's inner self, at the wrong place, would prove to be deleterious.

 

[Punk Hazard]

You raise a good point. If he is bullied because of his race, then it is of course unacceptable. If the bully wanted to take lunch money. Unacceptable.

However, there are somethings that most would shun, just because it's the nature of the group.

That is why it's also important to let the kid know to not reveal their personalities all the time. I believe that guns should be legal, yet, I never talk about it with my liberal friends, I believe that legalizing weed would help society, yet I don't talk about it with my conservative friends.

Revealing one's inner self, at the wrong place, would prove to be deleterious.

Then sounds like the solution is for your kid to play with dolls away from the bully

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Girly dols, princess houses etc.

Says society and gender roles but whatever.I'm not going to restrict my kids with certain toys.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Why be gender neutral? What possible benefit could there be?

Not pressure the kid into something they don't like. Letting them be happy like Riker said.It worked out for me.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

People tweeting things like this are what really grinds my gears. I swear sometimes people act like their too open-minded and holy to accept that announcing whether a baby is a boy or girl isn't going to scar them up for life. If they want to change their gender when they are older then they can do as they please but as of right..They are either a male or female or both.

Having a 5 month old baby wear blue isn't going to make them turn into a depressed transgender when they are 25. Maybe if all these goddamn SJW's would sit the hell down somewhere and stop acting like their some goddamn reformed Jesus then just maybe people will start to give AF and consider this whole "LET DA BAEBAE PICK ITS OWN GENDER, HUUUUR SOCIETY IS SO CRAPPY FOR ANNOUNCING IT WITHOUT THE CHILD'S CONSENT!!"

OT: I might and I might not. I'll most likely get boy toys for my son and girl toys for my daughter because I personally prefer it that way but if they desire to have the opposite gender toy then I might buy it. Idk... Aint no barbies or Bratz in my household though.

I chewed my barbies feet.