[Discussion] How does one motivate a child?

[Yami Silver]

So I've been put in charge of mentoring this 11-12 year old child at my school because my school see me as a "lazy delinquent turned top student". He is only averagely intelligent and has zero motivation whatsoever. He says he wishes to be either a gamer (urgh) or a footballer (soccer) (note: he is not even on the school team and isn't on a team outside of school either). I feel I have to act like a brother to him and somehow motivate him. I'm not expecting him to be the next Einstein; I only want him to be a hard worker. He looks up to his 18 year old brother who also goes to my school who himself is lazy (and apparently a drug abuser).

It's hard for me because I draw my motivation from my deceased karate instructor whose core philosophy was hard work and discipline where as he has no sort of role model like that. I've also got a natural ability for the academics which makes me like them which makes me work harder in them which he does not possess so I cannot motivate him like that (though his maths is not bad). He's also from a middle-class background with soft parents (who are split up and try their best to win him over, so to speak). I've tried the "you don't wanna end up in McDonald's" line and the "what if your chosen careers don't work out?" line. I've used various anecdotes, examples, metaphors, ect ect ect

So, NB, please give me some advice on this.

 

[Jinrou]

Make him watch anime that preaches hard work. Say like.. Naruto?

 

[Yami Silver]

Make him watch anime that preaches hard work. Say like.. Naruto?

He already does lol. I'd say Death Note. They glamorize the shit outta being clever and hard working lol.

 

[Kaneki Kun]

If he is truly passionate about soccer use that to your advantage. Get to know the sport and have conversations with him about it to build a bond. If he want's to be a great soccer player he's going to have to work hard. Try to make him find a soccer player idol such as Messi.

 

[BlazeRelease]

Well kids seem to think that they have everything planned out and they think that they are superior to others.

So you can try to subtly downplay his ideas. Sounds kinda mean but if you start making the kid think his current mindset is stupid he will naturally want to change.

Or maybe have him see you praised for what your doing by people he sees as "cool" so he will look up to you more and respect your opinion more.

 

[Yami Silver]

If he is truly passionate about soccer use that to your advantage. Get to know the sport and have conversations with him about it to build a bond. If he want's to be a great soccer player he's going to have to work hard. Try to make him find a soccer player idol such as Messi.

Tried that route already. I've been in professional youth teams when I was his age, I was the best in my school and I still didn't make it which is why I'm so cynical about it. I've spoken to him about Messi and Ronaldo and their work ethics. He, of course, idolizes them but I have no idea why he doesn't want to try and be them like I did.

 

[Yami Silver]

Well kids seem to think that they have everything planned out and they think that they are superior to others.

So you can try to subtly downplay his ideas. Sounds kinda mean but if you start making the kid think his current mindset is stupid he will naturally want to change.

Or maybe have him see you praised for what your doing by people he sees as "cool" so he will look up to you more and respect your opinion more.

I'm already on your first point.

@ your second point: That's a good idea; I'll definitely do that, thanks

 

[-Punk-]

Help him find him other talents, tell him to practice soccer as a hobbie, same with gaming.

 

[ANiMUS]

Play Soccer with the kid. :|
If you want him to do schoolwork then bet on games. If u build a bond with him he will be more inclined to listen to u
Steer away from gaming though. U want him to become more interested in group activities. Gaming can isolate him. If u can get him to go out for the team then he will have a reason to keep his grades up. The team will also provide him with more friends

 

[Yami Silver]

Play Soccer with the kid. :|
If you want him to do schoolwork then bet on games. If u build a bond with him he will be more inclined to listen to u

I told him I'd teach him some tricks if his grades improve. I think I've developed quite a good bond with him so far.

Help him find him other talents, tell him to practice soccer as a hobbie, same with gaming.

Doing that already.

 

[ANiMUS]

I told him I'd teach him some tricks if his grades improve. I think I've developed quite a good bond with him so far.



Doing that already.

Have u tried providing him with incentives?

 

[Yami Silver]

Have u tried providing him with incentives?

Well, besides teaching him football (soccer) skills and a strong mind, no.

 

[Dantee]

You can try bringing him down to earth and make him realize without an education he will fail. All the cool stuff you can do when you get good grades. Scholarships with money = good job = cool cars. He's only 11-12? The only way he'll probably learn is the hard way.

 

[Umari Senju]

Offer him candy....but do not do so while in or near any kind of black van.

 

[Yami Silver]

Offer him candy....but do not do so while in or near any kind of black van.

Somehow, I don't think that'll be the game changer

You can try bringing him down to earth and make him realize without an education he will fail. All the cool stuff you can do when you get good grades. Scholarships with money = good job = cool cars. He's only 11-12? The only way he'll probably learn is the hard way.

I've been doing this since day one lol

 

[ANiMUS]

Well, besides teaching him football (soccer) skills and a strong mind, no.

Well does he get his homework done?
If not then.
Offer to take him somewhere fun (your treat) if he can prove that he can do his homework for a couple weeks (that will help him get a routine of getting his homework done.) also try doing your homework together. Kids don't like suffering alone Lol

u might wanna check in with his teachers to see what his is weak in

 

[Azu]

I am studying to become a teacher and at university we do a lot of studying about methods and techniques in order to motivate students for learning, but sometimes teachers are not what is expected from them to be and they don't really help students in the way they should which leaves a large amount of students out there who have no goals in life and no will whatsoever do to anything in their life.

But, every single person in this world is good at something and the job of the teacher should be to help students to develop themselves through that one ability that a student really enjoys doing and loves doing. So what I am trying to say is that if you want to help this kid to find motivation the best way to do that is through the things he likes doing (gaming/soccer). For example, for his school duties, you can always find games online which will make easier for him to learn different things. Since I am studying to be a language teacher I know a lot useful sites which have a lot games that help students to learn vocabulary/ grammar in fun way, if you want me to give you links just leave me VMs. xD
And also since he likes soccer try engaging him on school team or something; he will have a little bit of competition atmosphere there and he will build some friendships which is also important. Also since he has "problems" in his family he should have someone with whom he can always speak without fear or at least someone beside him (if he is not willing to talk don't bother him). It's important that he doesn't feel alone, that there is someone out there for him.

 

[Yami Silver]

Well does he get his homework done?
If not then.
Offer to take him somewhere fun (your treat) if he can prove that he can do his homework for a couple weeks (that will help him get a routine of getting his homework done.) also try doing your homework together. Kids don't like suffering alone Lol

u might wanna check in with his teachers to see what his is weak in

I speak to his teachers on a regular basis and I've got his parents making sure he reads and does homework at home. I will try to do homework with him but I only get one hour per week to work after school with him which I'd rather use to motivate him.

 

[A$AP Wap]

give them a reward

 

[Yami Silver]

I am studying to become a teacher and at university we do a lot of studying about methods and techniques in order to motivate students for learning, but sometimes teachers are not what is expected from them to be and they don't really help students in the way they should which leaves a large amount of students out there who have no goals in life and no will whatsoever do to anything in their life.

But, every single person in this world is good at something and the job of the teacher should be to help students to develop themselves through that one ability that a student really enjoys doing and loves doing. So what I am trying to say is that if you want to help this kid to find motivation the best way to do that is through the things he likes doing (gaming/soccer). For example, for his school duties, you can always find games online which will make easier for him to learn different things. Since I am studying to be a language teacher I know a lot useful sites which have a lot games that help students to learn vocabulary/ grammar in fun way, if you want me to give you links just leave me VMs. xD
And also since he likes soccer try engaging him on school team or something; he will have a little bit of competition atmosphere there and he will build some friendships which is also important. Also since he has "problems" in his family he should have someone with whom he can always speak without fear or at least someone beside him (if he is not willing to talk don't bother him). It's important that he doesn't feel alone, that there is someone out there for him.

Well, he'd need to pass the trials next year to be on the team.

He said he likes maths but he hates his teacher.