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Ignoring IB here , both are well written characters who are passionate about their goals. A tragedy in their life forces then to walk down a dark path. You are arguing that 'There is always a choice.' I agree with you on some level. Itachi could have tried to talk with 3rd, offer him support from Uchiha and solve the matter diplomatically rather than taking the psycho route. On the other hand there is Obito who could have just swallowed up Kakashi's failure and went back to village and could have tried to investigate Rin's death furthet and pursue his dream of being a Homage instead of taking the psycho route.
Now looking at it from their perspectives , Itachi didn't think that diplomatic solution was possible and a revolt could potentially destroy leaf. He took a judgement call. Obi to didn't think that being Hokage mattered as the world could not be changed that way and he could do it better by following Madara's path. This is his assessment of the situation.
Now to address the OP, if one was better than the other , my answer would be no. Even if they thought that things could not be solved diplomatically, they had other routes. Itacho could have spared the children in my opinion. This would have stopped the revolt for the time being. Yes, the children would be spiteful, but they would pose no immediate danger. They could be explained the situation better as they grew up. He owed his clan at least that. He took a pessimistic view that the future generation would not understand and therefore made a choice for them. That was the wrong thing to do. Even if Obito didn't think that peace could be achieved through ordinary means and he would have to do something bad to achieve it, he should have realised what he would achieve would not be true peace. He made a mistake in his definition of peace and thus slayed many people unnecessarily. So he failed here.
So summarising , one was not better than the other and both of them took some wrong decisions. However you have to factor in that they were both teenagers at the time. Also if they had done everything morally and ethically correct, we would not have had a complex Manga.
Now looking at it from their perspectives , Itachi didn't think that diplomatic solution was possible and a revolt could potentially destroy leaf. He took a judgement call. Obi to didn't think that being Hokage mattered as the world could not be changed that way and he could do it better by following Madara's path. This is his assessment of the situation.
Now to address the OP, if one was better than the other , my answer would be no. Even if they thought that things could not be solved diplomatically, they had other routes. Itacho could have spared the children in my opinion. This would have stopped the revolt for the time being. Yes, the children would be spiteful, but they would pose no immediate danger. They could be explained the situation better as they grew up. He owed his clan at least that. He took a pessimistic view that the future generation would not understand and therefore made a choice for them. That was the wrong thing to do. Even if Obito didn't think that peace could be achieved through ordinary means and he would have to do something bad to achieve it, he should have realised what he would achieve would not be true peace. He made a mistake in his definition of peace and thus slayed many people unnecessarily. So he failed here.
So summarising , one was not better than the other and both of them took some wrong decisions. However you have to factor in that they were both teenagers at the time. Also if they had done everything morally and ethically correct, we would not have had a complex Manga.